How to Relate in a Relationship: A Little Science on Self, Marriage and Relationships

By Kevin Thomas

The book "How to Relate in Relationships" is an easy to read book on the understanding of self and relationships.

There are thousands of books about relationships and marriage on the market today. So why is there another book on the same topic? There is a tendency for most similar books to cover only the sup

• Language: English
• Publisher: Living Life Society
• Release date: Apr 17, 2019
• ISBN: 9780975969182

Book preview

Introduction

There are thousands of books about relationships and marriage on the market today. So why am I writing another book on the same topic? I believe most similar books cover only the superficial problems with relationships. This book is designed to address the basic roots of a good relationship and how to implement them in your life.

Why should you trust my book over others? I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not an expert. There probably are no real experts on relationships (and in my opinion, the people who claim to be probably are not). What I claim to be is a good observer of relationships.

In today’s society, I have observed that physical appearance and materialism are at the root of most so-called normal relationships. Most seem to be based primarily on physical appearance, sex, status and possessions. Don’t misunderstand. Appearance, sex, status and possessions are usually good things. But they do not make a solid foundation for the structure of a relationship. If you plan to build your relationship on those elements, you’re going on a journey that will not lead you to the promised land of peace and harmony.

Choosing a mate based on beauty and sex is like buying a new car. The car may look pretty and make you feel like you’re riding on a cloud. Say you buy it and it’s a joy. You’re in heaven—for a short while. But as time goes by, you begin to notice that it’s getting old. Every year, hundreds of new models become available. Models that are sexier, more beautiful, shinier than yours. Eventually, you buy a new car and trade in the old one. Or maybe, you keep the old car and add new cars to the stable.

A car’s purpose is to take you from Point A to Point B, safely and continuously. In a relationship, however, your partner’s true purpose is to get you from Point A (where you are now) to Point B (your destiny) for your lifetime.

There are all sorts of things that are supposed to help us find and develop our relationships. For example:

New clothes

New cars

New products (for better sex)

New medications (for better sex)

New shoes

New homes

New dating opportunities (online)

Better parties

Better Education

More ways to buy and do what the rich do

In this book, you’ll learn about two basic, very simple secrets about relationships that will help explain how to develop and maintain them.

The first secret is you need to spend very little money to have a successful relationship. This has remained a secret for so long because there is no profit in telling you the truth. The truth is new cars, clothes, shoes, hairstyles, colognes, purses, watches, deodorant—and even new homes—have nothing to do with the success of your relationships. In fact, they have nothing to do with the success of a meaningful long-term relationship.

If this truth was known by the masses, most major multinational corporations would lose trillions of dollars. The selling of cheaply made products to the public in hopes of impressing the opposite sex would grind to a halt.

Not to say that material possessions are bad. An honestly-earned luxury can be a good thing. But the correlation between materialism and relationship development is tenuous at best.

The second simple secret also goes mostly unknown. It is finding and developing a beautiful relationship starts and ends with you. Michael Franks said it best in his song, All on the Inside. All that you desire comes from your inner self. This flies in the face of what our school system, as well as major merchandisers profess. Twenty-four hours a day, we’re inundated by their message: true success comes only from the outside of self.

The school system tells us we will be nothing without their particular certificate. They say we must have a college degree to be successful. The fact is, you are somebody from the moment you are born. Everything you need to be the best you can be, you had at birth (i.e. your heart, your mind, your soul, your intuition, your love, etc.). Buying stuff from major manufacturers cannot make you a better person.

Most important, you were born with the ultimate gift of being in continual communication with Almighty God and his wonderful universe. If you want to attract your soulmate become attractive—first. If you want a meaningful relationship, first you must have meaning in your life. If you want your present relationship to be harmonious, you first must find harmony within yourself. You’ll be amazed at how effective these two important keys will be to help you unlock the path to a good relationship.

These are two of the simple, yet vital keys that will help you unlock the door to a good relationship. Now, let’s look at other steps that are essential for developing—and keeping—a joyful and peaceful relationship.

Sex is Not the Key

That’s always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they’re pretty. It’s like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste.

John Green, Paper Towns

All that we are is a result of what we have thought.

Buddha

First, let’s establish that sex is not an overrated experience. In fact, it’s absolutely necessary to keep the intimacy in a relationship. But sex is neither the key nor the solid foundation for a happy relationship.

It must be said that sex is a major component in the make-up of today’s individual. Sometimes it seems as if everything is based on sex, being sexual or attracting the opposite sex (or in