Beware of Penelope Wicket: A Collection of Short Stories

By Aloysius Winters

Penelope Wicket believes that people should follow the rules. Rules are what keeps society running smoothly and correctly. She'll do whatever it takes to make sure that others follow the rules or are punished accordingly - even if this means that she has to bend or break a few rules herself.
Mrs. Wicket is the sociopath next door that you hope to never cross. These are her stories.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Moonlit Skies
• Release date: Jan 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005461508

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Beware of Penelope Wicket

Beware of Penelope Wicket

A Collection of Short Stories

Aloysius Winters

Moonlit Skies Press

Copyright © 2021 by Aloysius Winters

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

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For the rod of the wicked shall not rest upon the lot of the righteous; lest the righteous put forth their hands unto iniquity.

Psalm 125:3

Contents

Introduction

Blue Ribbon Winner

Pest Control

Porch Bandits

A Bag of False Morels

The Sinner’s Wealth

The Covenant

What Goes Around, Comes Around

About the Author

Also by Aloysius Winters

Introduction

Penelope Wicket believes that people should follow the rules. Rules are what keeps society running smoothly and correctly. She’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that others follow the rules or are punished accordingly - even if this means that she has to bend or break a few rules herself.

Mrs. Wicket is the sociopath next door that you hope to never cross. These are her stories.

Blue Ribbon Winner

Blue Ribbon Winner

Penelope Wicket was not angry about being excluded from entering her canned green beans into the canning category of the Pierson town fair. She was one of the three judges after all and it was expected that the panel of judges should be without bias. Well, as much as three judges can be without bias in a town of 300 people.

This small town of Pierson sits on the Colorado side of the border with Nebraska in Sedgwick County. Cattle ranching, feedlots, corn and soybean fields are the primary ways of making a living in this very white and Protestant town. The ground is flat, and summer storms can be seen coming from miles away. Which is a good thing if a funnel cloud’s hook is making its way down to the grassy plains.

This time of year, the fields are full of rolls and bales of hay after the grasses had grown tall all of June and July. Assuming drought hasn’t dried it all up. Experts say that the natural aquifer that the town sits over is in danger of being depleted within the next ten or so years. So, everyone tries to not use their irrigation systems more than they really need to.

Every August, Pierson holds a town fair in the park across the street from the city offices in the center of town. It is not in any way as large as the county fair, and especially not as large and grand as the state fair in Pueblo. But it gives the local 4H children a chance to practice showing off the animals they’ve raised and hope to take to the National Western Stock Show in Denver.

It also gives the farmers’ and ranchers’ wives a chance to show off their kitchen gardening and cooking skills. (There is one gentleman, Henry, who also enters his garden vegetables, but some say he may as well be considered a wife. Penelope takes no truck with gossip of this nature.)

There are some needlework and quilting competitions as well, but the kitchen and garden are where Penelope shines. It was a shame that the town’s mayor, Sheila Smythe, asked – no begged, really – that Penelope serve on the judges’ panel. Penelope was flattered, but also a bit miffed.

It was true that she had won the blue ribbon for her canning the last eight years running. And maybe it was time to let others have a chance at the ribbon. But shouldn’t it go to the best? People won’t know true quality if the best projects aren’t allowed to the contest.

These were Penelope’s thoughts in early May when she had accepted Sheila’s offer to be on the panel. Sheila had stood on Penelope’s front porch in her gray skirt suit and navy-blue pumps as though to impose the weight of her mayoral office onto Penelope’s thoughts.

You see, don’t you Penny, (Penny! Penelope had always hated this nickname.) how this will encourage other housewives to continue entering the contest? And Henry too, of course. Some of the young women had mentioned last summer that they were going to stop entering if someone else didn’t get the blue ribbon once in a while.

They could just learn how to do things properly, Penelope said as she watched Sheila’s hand flutter along the pearl necklace at her throat.

Pearls for a home visit? Penelope’s own soft cotton housedress that zipped up the front was well enough to wear when visiting her neighbors. She didn’t need to put on airs, she thought, as she smoothed out the wrinkles of the white apron she had been wearing to do house chores when Sheila rang the doorbell.

Yes, well, I suspect they just don’t try as hard if they know you’re competing. Maybe when word gets out that you’re on the judging panel they will make more of an effort, Sheila said.

Not having a chance at winning is no excuse for lazy work. But I’ll take you up on your offer. It will make for a change.

Oh, that’s wonderful, Penny. Penelope grimaced but let Sheila grasp her hand in gratitude. Marjorie is excited to try her hand this year.

Oh, is your daughter going to be home for the summer then? Penelope asked.

She was well aware that Marjorie had failed several of the courses she had been taking at Colorado University in Boulder, and most likely would not be returning to school in the fall. (There was some gossip that Penelope would listen to, especially if it contained useful information.)

Hmmm, oh, well, she’ll be helping out her Pa on the farm for the summer. It will be so nice to have her back around the house.

Sheila blushed a bit as she said this. Penelope couldn’t quite tell if it was from pleasure at the thought, or from shame over her daughter’s failures."

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So, here