Night of the Living Cake Monsters: A Retro Creature Feature

By J.A. Hernandez

When did baking become so deadly?

It's Christmas time in the town of Endswell. Lillian Richardson and her big orange tabby cat, Mr. Kennedy Cuddlesworth, get more than a sweet slice of bliss after baking a cake from a recipe in a magazine. Never to back down or give ground to oozing nightmares, Lily and Mr. Kennedy Cuddlesworth take up the whisk and claw to defend their home and neighbors from a chocolatey demise.

A short 1950s style Retro Creature Feature horror spilling over with cooking puns and horrific holiday cheer. Grab some popcorn, throw on your 3D glasses, and travel back to a time with drive-in theaters, chunky rollerskates, and a monstrous creature on every block.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Publishdrive
• Release date: Dec 10, 2021

Book preview

Episode One

It Came From Inside the Oven!

Lillian Richardson loved only three things in life: her hardworking husband, Charlie; her twins, Harry and Vicky; and running her household like a tight ship.

For Lily, a tight ship required a strict schedule, which meant getting Charlie out the door to work and the kids off to school precisely two minutes ago.

As she watched Charlie slip on his brown loafers by the front door, she mentally ticked off everything she had to do today. She took in a deep breath, rushed forward and straightened his tie, and handed him his briefcase. She opened the door, letting in a blast of wintry air, while Charlie struggled to slip on his right shoe.

Have a good day at work. I love you! Lily pushed her husband out the door then spun on her heel to face the twins. She bundled them snugly into their winter coats, ruffled their hair, kissed them, and pushed them, too, out the door. Have a good day at school. I love you!

Charlie hopped on the concrete stoop, still trying to wiggle his right foot into his loafer when Lily closed the door.

She puffed out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness!

Her big orange tabby cat, Mr. Kennedy Cuddlesworth, lounged on the back of the sofa. He opened one eye and blinked at her. Okay, so Lily loved four things in life.

I know! she shook her head, lightly stomped her shoe onto the plush carpet, then rushed off to the kitchen. A bunch of lollygaggers!

Every morning, her family ate the hearty breakfast she made, praised her cooking skills, and then left the room looking like a bomb had gone off. Dirty dishes lay across every flat surface, including the floor, greasy handprints covered the refrigerator door, and somehow, Little Harry's toy firetruck sat on top of the cabinet over the oven, with a piece of blueberry muffin resting on the extended ladder.

Lily pushed up her hard work sleeves—in fact, the sleeves of her yellow dress were too short to push anywhere, but she pushed up on each arm anyway. She put on her pink rubber gloves, then whirled into action with a sweeping cloud of crumbs and a storm of soap bubbles drifting in the air.

When she wiped the last of the ketchup off the stovetop (Who ate muffins with ketchup?), the surface caught the sunlight in a lovely sparkle.

Lily checked the cuckoo clock on the wall. A new record, Mr. Kennedy Cuddlesworth! she called out to the living room. Satisfied with her quick work, she pushed down her hard work sleeves and continued with her Wednesday routine, now entirely on schedule.

She took her time, but not too much time, vacuuming the curtains and sliding every piece of furniture in the house away from the walls to wipe down the baseboards. When she got to the sofa, Mr. Kennedy Cuddlesworth pawed at her feather duster, so she took five minutes of her allotted sixty kitty playtime to shake her duster around the sofa as the cat wiggled his butt and dove at the feathers.

After a feverishly paced feather hunt, Lily had worked up so much of