The Pathology of Innocence

By J.S. Wolfe

A dog, two cats, and a tree saved my life.

Walk with us through this Shamanic journey.

I will tell you what the trees whispered.

You might laugh; you might cry; you might cry laugh.

Bring your funny bone and some good music. 

See you there.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Involution Publishing
• Release date: Dec 24, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393596509

J.S. Wolfe

J. S. Wolfe is an award-winning, published author, filmmaker, and consciousness coach, with a specialty in character analysis. She is passionate about true crime, personality disorders, consciousness, and shamanic medicine. She spent 20 years researching criminal and sub-criminal psychopaths, narcissists, and other personality disorders by visiting inmates on death row in California, and various mental institutions, and those free among us. Her book, The Unfolding: A Journey of Involution, made the best-seller list at the esteemed El Shorouk Bookstore within the first week of publication. She founded Involution Publishing based in Honolulu, Hawaii, through which she offers author services including editing, script-reading, and publishing. She graduated from UCLA film school and worked with several esteemed artists in the film industry; Cornelia and Martin Bregman (Scarface), Vincent Vieluf (Rat Race), coached Khaled Elsawy for Blue Elephant, Eyad Nassar for Moga Harra, and Afrah El Qobba among others. Her articles were published in The Village Voice, The New Yorker, and DAM. She wrote creative press releases for international fine artists such as Susana Rodriguez (Argentina), John Silver (NYC), and Miki (Japan) during her work at 48th Avenue Art Gallery in Manhattan thanks to curator Mr. Alejandro Beitler. As a renowned Meditation coach, she worked with esteemed TV presenters, including Amro Al Kahky (Al Nahar), Ahmed Fayek (Misr Tastatee3) among others, and appeared on Sahibet El Sa3ada with Ms. Essaad Younis along with actress Rania Youssef in an episode dedicated to the use of Meditation in coaching actors. Her first high-profile Meditation client was Brannon Bragha, writer and producer of Start Trek during her studies at UCLA. She worked as a script reader for Gross-Weston Productions and was a PR assistant at Levine Communications, where she helped organize Bob Hope events, including The Bob Hope star on the Hall of Fame, and his Book Soup in Hollywood to commemorate his work. Ms. Wolfe is committed to her healing journey, in order to be of better help to others on the path. Her message is, we are never alone if we know where to look. Her work is entirely dedicated to her departed dog Vincent and all her pets.

Book preview

The Pathology of Innocence

The Pathology of Innocence

J.S. Wolfe

Published by Involution Publishing, 2021.

Also by J.S. Wolfe

The Unfolding: A Journey of Involution

The Pathology of Innocence

Dear Psychopath (Coming Soon)

Witness Wanted (Coming Soon)

Watch for more at J.S. Wolfe’s site.

Dedication

To my brother, Marco Santini

To my pets and the Trees

Vincent Wolfe

Jojo and late Fluffy

Apollo, Lishka, Jacob , Shpongle, and Coco

To my sisters, mother and father

aunt, uncle and my cousins

My Ayahuasca Soul Family

Norberto, Milli, Rini and all of my soul brothers and sisters.

To my dearest

Khalid Khalil.

To my Guardian angel Farshid Gazor.

I am deeply blessed with your loving presence and support.

Praise for J.S. Wolfe

On The Unfolding: A Journey of Involution

GENIUS! A genuinely new take on things, bringing forth critical issues in today's chaotic world. For what world are we manifesting for ourselves if we lack empathy? Brilliantly expressed and thought provoking with a timeless message. 

Khalid Khalil

A must read for all interested in learning more about human behavior. This book sheds light on so many aspects of humanity most neglect to see. The book is an enjoyable page turner and offers enlightenment in a smooth, clear and fun presentation.

Marco Salem

An amazing author , knows how to write a story and makes it interesting.

Dahlia El Sioufy

You are amazing!

Vincent Vieluf

The Pathology of Innocence

J.S. Wolfe

Involution Publishing

Copyright © 2021 by J.S. Wolfe, Marco Salem and Involution Publishing

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Involution Publishing supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.

The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact [e-mail]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

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First ebook edition: Christmas 2021

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The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

Involution Publishing provides a wide range of authors for speaking events. To find out more, go to https://www.involutionpublishing.com/or send a message to

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Interior illustrations © 2019 by J.S. Wolfe

ISBN

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Excerpt From: J.S. Wolfe. The Pathology of Innocence Apple Books, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Goodreads, and www.involutionpublishing.com

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Dedication

To my brother, Marco Santini

To my pets and the Trees

Vincent Wolfe

Jojo and late Fluffy

Apollo, Lishka, Jacob , Shpongle, and Coco

To my sisters, mother and father

aunt, uncle and my cousins

My Ayahuasca Soul Family

Norberto, Milli, Rini and all of my soul brothers and sisters.

To my dearest

Khalid Khalil.

To my Guardian angel Farshid Gazor.

I am deeply blessed with your loving presence and support.

In a world obsessed with original sin, I am here to unearth our original innocence.

J.S. Wolfe

Contents

Smoke and Mirrors

Vincent

My Brother. My Lifeline.

Departure

1. Daddy Issues

Fatherless Children

2. Astral Memorial

Travel Alone

3. Adventure in the Rain

Walking each other Home

Stepping into the Void

Shamanic Journey

1. Soul Family

Christmas among the Trees

2. Divine Humor

Standing up for yourself

3. Sisterhood

Sibling Rivalry

What the Trees Whispered

1. Visionnaire in the Wild

The Woods

We will start over

Tell your story

2. Spirit Animals

Metamorphosis

The Moth

Predator and Prey

Horses

Buffalos

Wolf

The Snake

3. Medusa

Heaven

Calm Before the Storm

Lights out in Hell

Letting Go

Surrender

The Purge

Sacrifice

Emotional Punishment

Beautiful People

1. Prehensile Dreams

2. Bearing Gifts

Sharing the Love

3. Back to Vincent

Post-traumatic Growth

The Paradox Gates

Hearts and Minds

1. Demolished Minds

2. Unearthing The Heart

Abandonment

3. Skies and Butterflies

Dream yourself infinite.

Divine Love

Initiation

1. Divine Masculine

Toxic Masculinity

Healthy Masculinity

2. Sacred Feminine

Toxic Femininity

Healthy Femininity

3. Mommy, Dearest

Saving our Mother

Healing the Family Tree

The Tree of Life

Open Paths

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Also by J.S. Wolfe

Smoke and Mirrors

We walk through the fire in a peculiar way and choreograph a dance through our growing pains. Blinded by smoke and mirrors, we must pass through the paradox gates. 

The world is gaslighting us all the time. Narcissism has become a complicated virus on our way back home. I wondered if the collective consciousness had fragmented itself, creating holograms of us, so it can witness itself in its entirety. Projecting all its aspects, it may eventually accept itself fully. Self acceptance is an antonym to narcissism. Self-loathing intensifies it. Only when we learn to love and accept all of ourselves can we love anything else. This is the only path to end the fragmentation.

We are the Alpha and the Omega and everything else in between. We are the martyrs and the aggressors, the cowards and the heroes. We are all impacted by narcissism and we will heal when we realize that none of us exists separately. We must transcend this duality. The way the Universe operates holds the key to our healing. If only we can see how we can mirror the ultimate source, and if only we can air out the smoke that is keeping us at the mercy of the dark night of the soul. Everything is bound to return to its original form; until then, we remain bound by every other thing. Our freedom will come when we have the courage to free ourselves and each other of chains, created by our narrow ideas.

In a world obsessed with original sin, I am here to unearth our original innocence. 

When we are little, we need others to reflect back to us what we are. This is how we know we exist. However, it is a dangerous and vulnerable place to be, because not all reflections are benevolent. It isn’t until later that we learn to create our own reflection, yet it is often tainted with our first experiences. Most of us are still grieving the wounds of our mothers and fathers, not only our biological parents but our spiritual ones as well. Narcissism is now a global pandemic, because fear, shame, and gaslighting have been the main methods of our collective upbringing. This isn’t necessarily an awful thing. In a world of duality, we often need to experience one end of a spectrum to understand and appreciate its opposite, until balance and harmony are restored. Our collective task is to push forward into the pandemic of its polar opposite; namely, a pandemic of love. I want to learn how to find connection without attachment, and non-attachment without detachment. One of the main features of narcissism is creating smoke and mirrors. Honesty is rare, be it due to self-deception or due to pathological, deliberate manipulation, which essentially shares the same results. Lies on top of lies, we are caught in a flood that pushes us farther away from home. 

Yet, anything that destroys us has the potential to push us back into our hearts. Healing is a destructive process. False beliefs and personas must be demolished and replaced with an authentic foundation. For those, courageous enough to take a pause from their mode of survival, they get to see the branches of the trees that are readily extended and available to save us. If only we let our faith in the branch pull us out of the hurricanes. We get used to the struggle that we confuse it for comfort. We keep struggling until we get swallowed into the earth. That is when we understand that we cannot separate from Nature. We become trees. Those who get a hold of a branch must extend it to others still caught in the current. This book is my branch that I extend to anyone, who needs it, and I believe we all do. 

The question is: Are you tired yet?

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My life is a long love letter that has been written on the leaves of my favorite trees. 

Addressed to my beloved pets, and the guardian angels of friends, as much as to my fellow humans, the seekers, who are ready to put down the emotional weight they carried for so long. Time for fresh open paths far away from here. There, among the trees, you hear whispers of what must go, what remains, and the beauty that was always there. Time to unearth our hearts that hold the light. Time to bring our ax and shovel to dig out the rubble and the suffering that cemented the light and buried our truth. 

It is time to let the sacred feminine heal so the divine masculine can be restored. All the answers are within, yet having been muted for too long, we need to journey along with our animal spirits and tap into the wisdom of the trees. They can guide our way.

Life is a journey, and often, we meet an impasse, a fork in the road, bends, and detours. Sometimes our biggest blessing is just around the corner, but traumatized as most of us are, we fear being so frail, we would break at the next turn. We resist change because many of us became afraid of hope. Hope is one of the most dangerous things to lose. 

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Fork in the Road

The Fork in the Road.

No amount of forks, mountains, obstacles, or ditches in this life would have any power against the kind and powerful support system of our friends and family. No one does it alone. For those of us, blessed with such support, life becomes bearable and more fun. For the rest of us, we know we are alone, and we project this branding onto the world, viewing it as a hostile place. We push away anyone willing to prove us wrong. I was never comfortable around people. Born during the darkest hour of the night, I was an accident and continued to have accidents throughout my life. At birth, I came out all wrong into the world, and the umbilical cord got wrapped around my neck. There was the chord of life, choking me to death before I could take my first breath. 

I was a victim, turned survivor; a cat stalked by an army of rats carrying a plague. They dressed as friends and loved ones. When they found me, they charmed me with their music that soon unearthed the snakes that they had buried in a shallow grave. With every betrayal, I retreat a little more, despite my preference to live in faith rather than paranoia. Still, it can’t be paranoia when it proves to be true.

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Victim persona: "Why should I do all the inner work, and not the sociopaths that infiltrated my life? How am I supposed to heal when I live in a society that continues to hold me hostage to their ideas of who I must have been and still must be?

It was a tempting role to hold onto. Everyone loves a scapegoat, or so the scapegoat believes. Being an abuse victim is often perceived as a badge of honor and a powerful excuse for failure. My pain is valid, but my self-destruction was not. Still, the thought of having to take back control over my life and responsibility for my healing was overwhelming and infuriating. It just had to be done.

No one understood how I allowed a serial killer into my life and why I would be his target in the first place. 

She must be crazy and somehow asked for it. They’d say. 

And the day came when I realized that my captor was more merciful than those, who judged me. I live in a society, where people demoralize the victim, while the perpetrator is running free. Where do you run to, when your only savior is holding a gun to your head? Back home… towards the trees. 

Until the victim learns how to write, everyone will glorify the murderer. Until the survivor learns to fight, they will be stuck in victimhood. We cannot thrive unless we dissociate with both victim and survivor archetypes. We must reclaim our innocence just as much as we are asked to reclaim our guilt. This is the way to truly thrive.

The need to connect with others began to wane. It was no longer worth the pain. I am writing this on behalf of anyone, who fell victim to collective bullying, and to narcissistic and psychopathic abuse. More importantly, to those harshly judged by those they once called friends. 

Owning our stories empowers us. It directs light on the situation, which exposes the true size of an enemy. An active energy vampire is always insignificant under the light of your awareness and your sense of humor. When we don’t narrate what is for us to tell, others will make it up for us, inaccurately, and unjustly.

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We can be a victim of the first assault. Identifying with a victim persona; however, is almost always a choice. That would be the ultimate defeat. It is a familiar place to be, and familiarity is often confused with comfort until it begins to either breed contempt or deep regret. Victimhood was a soft, fluffy blanket against the shit storm I had to face