Coffee Stains

By Kat Caldwell

Using a dead girl's name and secretly dating a professor are just some of the things Ana Lopez is willing to do to graduate college and build some sort of future for herself. You name it, she'll do it, if it gets her closer to a better life and helps her escape her violent past.
After crawling out of an abusive relationship, Ana is focused on nothing other than moving out of her brother's house and into her own future. But Ana doesn't realise that as she tries to outrun her past, she's leaving her family behind and her identity behind. Running into Marlon, a friend from high school, was not in Ana's plans at all. Tall, dark and handsome, he had been her crush in high school, but nothing had ever come of it. Although knowing him from high school poses a risk to exposing her new identity, Ana can't seem to help herself. And the more she's around him, the more Ana realizes a flaw in her carefully laid plans: that she just might want more than a simple degree and a life of dull comfort with a man she doesn't love.
The problem is, she isn't quite sure how to handle breaking up with an increasingly possessive Daniel, her professor. Little does Ana know that everything she's worked for the past few years, everything she's convinced she deserves, is about to come crashing down as the professor's jealous wife comes back, a family crisis rears up and Ana loses someone she dearly loves.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Publishdrive
• Release date: Oct 26, 2021
• ISBN: 9780999588161

Book preview

Coffee Stains

Kat Caldwell

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Ladwell Publishing

Copyright © 2021 by Kat Caldwell 

All rights reserved.

katcaldwell.com

Published by Ladwell Publishing, 2021

No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

cover by 100covers.com

Print ISBN: 978-0-9995881-8-5

e-book ISBN: 978-0-9995881-6-1

Contents

1. Chapter One

2. Chapter Two

3. Chapter Three

4. Chapter Four

5. Chapter Five

6. Chapter Six

7. Chapter Seven

8. Chapter Eight

9. Chapter Nine

10. Chapter Ten

11. Chapter Eleven

12. Chapter Twelve

13. Chapter Thirteen

14. Chapter Fourteen

15. Chapter Fifteen

16. Chapter Sixteen

17. Chapter Seventeen

18. Chapter Eighteen

19. Chapter Nineteen

20. Chapter Twenty

21. Chapter Twenty-One

22. Chapter Twenty-Two

23. Chapter Twenty-Three

24. Chapter Twenty-Four

25. Chapter Twenty-Five

26. Chapter Twenty-Six

27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

Epilogue

Did you enjoy Coffee Stains?

About Kat

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Chapter One

In the pitch black of an early December morning, a buzzing dragged Ana away from her dreamless sleep. It seemed an injustice to need to wake up so early. The buzzing called to her and, slowly, Ana reacted, turning to her right before sitting up. After a year of living in the attic room at her brother’s house, she knew she had to move cautiously if she didn’t wish to bump her head on the steep pitch her bed sat under. While she sometimes referred to her bedroom as Cinderella’s room, she was grateful her brother and Elena had created a space for her to stay, especially since it was shaping up to be a longer stay than she had expected.

Her phone alarm buzzed again like an impatient mother yelling that it was time for school. Vamos, Ana, levántate! With no light yet coming through the window and the phone probably buried under a pillow or book or clothes, Ana had no choice but to open her eyes and sit up.

Where are you, damn phone? she muttered as she wiggled her hands near the sound, patting down gently until her fingers hit something hard. Walking to the light switch might have been easier, but it required getting out of bed. Aha! There you are. Please turn off.

The blazing blue light of the screen hit her pupils with force and suddenly her blankets weren’t enough to keep her warm. Her blood turned icy at the notification from a newsletter she’d long forgotten about. Had she more self-will and perhaps more compassion for herself, she would have deleted it without bothering to open the email but clicking on the blue tinged box came as a reflex. Immediately, glossy pictures and emotionally gripping headlines bombarded her eyes.

We have your email address from a list that shows you might be interested in this new online magazine. You can make a difference! You can fight the system with us!

Díos. There she was, second picture down. All the efforts to erase any connection between her and the obscure activist group that she and Roberto had put together were no match for the internet.

Their group had hovered under the radar, even when they were at their most active, but they had attended some protests where a few journalists also came, eager to snap pictures of their frustration. Chosen for their shock value, she didn’t have the rights to these photos to take them down, and she didn’t know who took them. Not that whoever took the pictures would scrub them from the internet just because she asked. Besides, she would have to admit the girl was her and Ana was trying to put those years behind her.

Reporters often used this picture, both in favor and against protests. The picture showed her dressed in black as usual in those days, with a scarf that had slipped just past her chin to make more room for her to spew insults at the people. Most wouldn’t know it was her. The scarf still obstructed some of her chin. Ana peered closer. Her heavy eyeliner also made her look different since she rarely wore any now. The caption held no mention of her name, but that didn’t matter either. Not to her.

Every time she saw it, rage and shame pushed every other emotion aside.

Scrolling further down, the third headline of the newsletter drew her in. Roberto stood with the girlfriend he had run away to Chicago with, now his wife, according to the caption.

Roberto and Nadia are ready and willing to do the work it will take to make Chicago better, was the caption under the photo.

Ana snorted, the reaction sending her dry throat into a coughing fit. Yes, certainly. Roberto was always willing to do the work to put himself in a place of power.

The second alarm, meant to get her butt out of bed if she had dared to sleep in, buzzed. It was the ultimate warning that she had only twenty minutes to dress and head out in order to arrive on time to work. She cursed herself for wasting time, found where to unsubscribe and pounded on the link, but that seemed to have no effect on her mood.

Ana sighed. That nagging, prickly sensation telling her she should be further along at twenty-three covered her skin, popping the hairs up in goosebumps. It didn’t matter that she worked double shifts, or ran herself ragged taking more classes than she should to graduate earlier, or studied extra for perfect grades—the regret of wasting so many years would rear up regardless, the cruel voice pounding insults at the back of her head. Today was no different. Here she was heading off to serve coffee to students and professors while the guy who deserved no rewards in life was running for city council in Chicago. How pathetic.

Ana shoved the phone into her backpack and grabbed her work clothes. There was little time to spend pouting about where she wished she was in life. If she was late one more time with Nathalie managing, she might lose this job.

What’re you doing up so early? Ana asked her sister-in-law Elena as she entered the kitchen. Elena was sitting at the dining table just to the side of the kitchen, filling out papers.

Buenos días, Ana. I just couldn’t sleep. Just filling out some paperwork. There’s coffee there for you.

Ana’s nose scrunched up at the sight of instant coffee. The microwave signaled the end of a warming cycle as Javier walked in.

Are we ever going to buy a new coffeemaker? Ana asked him as he kissed his wife. The coffee maker, the same one their parents had bought just weeks before dying in a car accident, had given up after five years. Even though she had been there when they bought it, and this was the same house she grew up in, Ana didn’t feel like she could make any changes. Javier and Elena had been living here when the accident happened and took over paying for the house afterwards. It wasn’t really her home anymore, even though she lived there.

I’m fine with the coffee I make, Javier shrugged, giving her a smile and a wink as he stirred the dehydrated coffee granules into his hot milk and gave it a loud slurp. Want more tea, mi amor?

No thank you, it’ll just make me pee, Elena answered, patting her belly.

Coffee? Javier asked Ana. Always the older brother needing to tease a reaction out of her.

I’ll have some real coffee at work.

Exactly! That’s why we don’t need to buy another machine.

Do you mind if I go in and straighten up your room today, Ana?

Ana looked up from looking for her mittens. All the winter things, once dry, end up jumbled up in the large drawer of the enormous dresser they kept the television on. She peeked her head around the corner to look at Elena.

It’s fairly picked up, but of course. This is your house. Why?

A strange look passed between Javier and Elena. Ana looked at the belly on her sister-in-law and wondered if they were hoping to use her room for little Sofia, once the baby was here. They would never kick her out of the house, but she knew she was in the way of their growing family. It was one reason she was trying to graduate as soon as possible and find a job that paid enough for her to rent an apartment. Her credit was too bad at the moment to get anything reasonable. Asking Javier to co-sign seemed not only unfair but embarrassing.

Luis might come over later to look at the house, Elena said, referring to their landlord.

To complete the papers for you guys to buy it? Ana was back digging through the winter things and couldn’t see her brother, but she could feel the hesitancy. She wished he would just come out and say what she knew he was thinking. Javier had always planned on buying this house and growing his family here. Ana had no intention of imposing on them any more than she had to.

Something like that, Javier said, as Ana emerged from the drawers with two scarves and thick mittens.

Qué bien! And don’t worry, I’ll be graduating by next December, if not sooner, and be out of here as soon as possible.

You aren’t a bother, Elena told her, but Ana knew that wasn’t true.

She is sometimes, Javier said, giving her a wink.

Elena swatted at Javier as she stood and stretched. Are you going to be here over Christmas break?

Claro. I’m working quite a few shifts at the coffee shop, but I’ll be here.

Ves, Javier? I told you she would be here.

I thought maybe you’d be going away to the Caribbean or something with your rich boyfriend.

Oh, stop. Between working and studying, I don’t have time for almost anything else.

Except sleeping at his house.

Javier ducked away from Elena, who swatted at him again.

How’s business? Ana asked.

Good. Much better than last year. Eric Mallard and I’ve formed a business. He does metal work and I do the wood to create these industrial looking pieces that people love. We just finished a wine cellar for a restaurant in town. It looks so good they did a piece on us in the newspaper.

De verdad?

Javier smirked. Don’t read the newspaper much? I left it out on the counter for you to see.

Ana looked where her brother was pointing, realizing she had seen the paper but hadn’t bothered to look closer.

After that, we won a bid to make the entire bar and wine area for another restaurant that’s opening in May. Then we’re doing a library wall for a house downtown and something for a new boutique down on Ellipse Street. One of those trendy boutique places you would like if you had money.

Ana laughed at the friendly jab.

How much money did you make for the wine cellar?

About thirty thousand after paying for the material and the other hourly guys. It was a big wine cellar.

Each? The idea of that amount of money had her salivating.

No, all together.

Still, I wasn’t expecting you to say that.

And I didn’t need a college education to do it, either.

Javier grinned, his white teeth gleaming. Ana laughed. Javier loved teasing her about not needing to go into debt to be successful, something her father used to say.

Right, well, this girl needs an education because she doesn’t know how to make beautiful wine cellars. And if you ever want me out of this house, then you shouldn’t try to convince me to stop studying.

He doesn’t mean anything by it, Elena said, rolling her eyes at Javier, who grabbed her around the waist and kissed her noisily.

Ana laughed. I know, I know. Bueno, me voy. If I don’t leave now, I’ll miss the bus.

I’ll take you, so you know I’m actually a nice brother. Just let me brush my teeth.

Ana nodded at her brother, grateful for the extra minutes to gather her books properly and make sure she left nothing behind.

Take a snack, Elena said as they were heading out the door. She held out an apple and a large slice of banana bread. You don’t eat enough.

Ana gave her a quick peck on the cheek in thanks and headed out into the dark, frosty morning with Javier.

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The sun slowly rose above the horizon as Marlon tried to finish his write up for his dispute resolution class. One other person in the coffee shop accompanied him, besides the workers behind the counter. Even the music coming from the speakers was slow and tired, encouraging his eyelids to droop. Every morning he regretted having taken the night court position. Setting his schedule up on paper at the beginning of the school year had been much easier than living it out.

Marlon shoved his body straight and rubbed his open palms across his cheeks, stopping just short of slapping himself. One hour ago, he felt wide awake as he left work, but now being up all night was catching up with him. The last drops of his cold cappuccino rolling down his throat helped perk him up a little, but it wasn’t enough.

When the words on the computer screen started swirling before his eyes, Marlon jumped up out of his chair. He needed to move and wake up. He needed to sleep. The enormous clock on the back wall of the coffee shop told him he had less than two hours before class would start. Eyeing the couch shoved in the corner, Marlon thought about asking the girl barista if she would let him lie down for a few minutes but decided against it. The morning coffee rush hour could start at any minute, which meant even if they allowed him to lie down, he wouldn’t end up sleeping, anyway. Marlon shook his head at the couch, physically resisting its invitation. Anyway, Mama Rou raised him better than to sleep in public.

The music changed to some upbeat Columbian tunes. Marlon smiled in appreciation at the barista, who responded with a graceful swaying of her full hips and a wide smile back at him. It was the same young woman who had served him coffee a few days before. Lucinda. He remembered her catching him staring at her name tag. The Latin music filled his senses as he watched her, fully distracted from his paper.

A year had passed since he walked in on his girlfriend with his roommate in San Diego, clear by the strong reaction his body was having. Though his eyes were dry, he was now awake, but still unwilling to finish his project. Maybe it was time to jump back into the dating game.

Lucinda beamed at his request for a second muffin and continued to sing while looking at him out of the corner of her eye as she arranged the muffins on a tiered display.

Marlon leaned against the glass that protected the baked goods, trying to think of something interesting to say. I like the way you dance sounded too heavy. Good morning sounded too generic.

When she turned her attention towards him, he made sure he was smiling. His ex-girlfriend used to describe his smile as sexy, teasing, and mysterious. Her friends said it was an intriguing smile. Alana, his ex, used to compare him to a Greek god with his straight nose, shiny black curls he now had in dreads, and his tawny skin. The smile was his secret weapon, since the right words never seemed to come out. He could drone on and on just like some of his ancient ancestors about law and philosophy, but that did little to charm girls these days.

Hey.

Marlon tried not to let his disappointment in himself allow his smile to falter. Thankfully, she smiled back, unruffled by his lame choice of greeting.

Good morning, she said. I’ve seen you in here before, haven’t I?

Probably yesterday.

What’s got you out so early? Got a test soon? she asked. You look like you should be home sleeping.

Just got off work. He ignored the habit of shifting his weight from left to right as he spoke, forcing himself instead to stay still. Gotta finish this presentation and paper.

Well then, you’re gonna need another coffee, aren’t you? she asked with a wink. How about a double shot latte?

Sounds like just what I need.

She headed towards the espresso machine as the front door opened, ushering in freezing cold air and a pack of black-clad goths. The taller one that banged through the door led the pack, his blood-shot eyes zeroing in on Marlon straight away.

You gonna let me order?

Marlon swept his arm to the side as he made way for the group. He grew up in this area, which had never been too diverse in ethnicities, but had been a good place to live. He had never had many problems being a kid with a mixture of background, including one of the dominant tribes in the Midwest, but there was always one or two who had something in for him from the beginning. One guy, Brandon, during their sophomore year of high school, had made it his priority to trip Marlon or make fun of him in front of others. Marlon ignored him until one day Brandon took a swing at him outside the bowling alley. His mistake. Marlon’s dad had taught him how to fight back from the time he was four. After a duck and a quick hook to Brandon’s jaw, the two of them called a truce and ended up talking for about an hour. No friendship came out of it, but at least Brandon left him alone after that.

This group of kids didn’t look worth spending that much time with, though.

Here ya go, Lucinda announced as she pushed the coffee towards to Marlon.

You gonna service this guy before me?

He was here first, moron, was Lucinda’s reply as she winked at Marlon. Now I’ll serve you.

I’m here, Lu! Is Nathalie here?

Marlon was already backing away but couldn’t help turning at the familiar voice coming from behind the counter.

Just in time, Ana. Don’t worry, Nat isn’t here. Just get in here and pretend you aren’t half an hour late.

The new woman had her brown hair piled on top of her head, wide eyes, and a large smile that she flashed at Lucinda before setting to work making espressos. Marlon sat back at his table but didn’t start working again. There was something about the new barista that had him transfixed. He knew her, but he couldn’t place where from.

More students and professors started piling in through the door and Marlon had to force himself to concentrate on his paper, which was difficult with the goth kids sitting behind him playing their music. Marlon slipped on his headphones, getting desperate to focus when something warm and wet splashed onto his pant leg.

Hey!

Marlon jumped out of his seat, finding himself face to face with a goth girl, her purple-lined eyes staring at him with contempt.

Excuse me, you seem to be in the way, she said.

Right.

What did you say?

This time, it was the leader talking from his place at the table behind him. Marlon flexed his fingers, reminding himself that violence wasn’t worth the consequences. Before he could back away, the leader gave the girl a nod. The next second, the last bit of her coffee poured onto his notebook. The group erupted into laughter as they rose from their chairs and marched out, purposely bumping into Marlon on their way out.

Mama Rou’s voice rose in the back of his mind. It’s not worth it, her voice told him. Just stay still and let the little people in this world pass you by.

Instead of siding with his father and fighting this time, he obeyed his grandmother’s voice and waited until the door closed behind the group before he moved to find napkins.

I’m so sorry. What jerks, the girl with the familiar voice said as she rushed over with towels.

She handed him one for his pants, then set about mopping up the mess on the table.

At least she didn’t spill it on your computer.

That was not an accident.

The woman looked at him, transporting Marlon back to his senior year of high school. Ana. She had been one of the few freshmen in math club his senior year. Though it became obvious that she and her two friends were there only for the extra credit points that Mr. Zanker always offered those that joined, Marlon hadn’t cared. He had spent hours memorizing the outline of her mouth instead of the math formulas. They lost touch almost immediately after graduating, as happened with most high school friendships. And now she was here.

Ana!

Yes? She seemed startled at him knowing her name, but her eyes didn’t register any recognition towards him

I’m Marlon. From Mr. Zanker’s math club. Remember?

Coffee dripped from his notebook in her hands as recognition slowly filled her eyes.

Damn! You look different. I haven’t seen you in, how long?

Four or five years now. Marlon brushed his hair back with his fingers, aware of the unruly dreadlocks pulled back into a ponytail at the back of his neck. He hadn’t bothered to take care of them for over a year now. Ana looked as she did in high school, except for the tiny lines near her eyes. How are you?

I’m—I’m good. I’m at the university and working, well, here. She shifted away from him a bit, then returned to cleaning the table.

You studying your masters?

Um, no. I’m still doing my bachelor’s. It took me longer to get to the university after my parents died.

Right, I heard about that. I tried to contact you, but I only had your house phone, and no one ever answered. I’m sorry about your parents.

Ana gathered the coffee-soaked towels as Marlon wiped his pants and mentally kicked himself for always saying the wrong thing.

Sorry about that again. I’ve never seen those kids before, but I’ll make sure my manager hears about them.

It’s fine. No big deal.

It is a big deal, Marlon. Their behavior is so gross. Done with that?

Marlon handed the towel to her, meeting her gaze and remembered thinking her laugh was the most beautiful he had ever heard and spent too much time looking for ways to be funny when they were in math club together.

I’d love to hang out sometime and catch up. I have yet to run into anyone else from high school.

Yeah, for sure. We should do that.

Ana!

Another woman, looking like the manager, was calling her from behind the counter. Marlon saw his class was starting soon, of course, with his paper still unfinished.

I gotta go.

Ana collected the towels and hurried back to work, leaving Marlon to gather his coffee-stained papers and head out into the cold alone.

Chapter Two

The clock above the science building rang midafternoon as Ana made her way through the throng of students towards the Student Union. It was next to the Red Gym, named that because of the red brick they had used to build it eighty years before, and looked out over a small lake. Still feeling new and a bit out of place on campus, Ana avoided the Union. The space was so open and there were so many nooks that she felt lost the one and only time she ever went.

Daniel asked her to go this time; their first public meeting. Since there was an unspoken rule against professor-student relationships since a few crazy cases of Title IX a few years back, Daniel was skittish about meeting outside of his office. During the summer, with so few students on campus, they had met at his house. Their relationship had started out platonic, but as they spent more and more time together, it felt as though they were the old married couple. Romance was lacking, but Ana always shrugged the thought away. She didn’t have time to have a romantic relationship. She could do that after graduation.

Usually, they met at his office to go over her essays or research papers, but this week the university was painting the hallways and Daniel said the fumes were giving him a headache. Though working in such a public arena was not her favorite, she wasn’t about to turn down a coffee. Or the chance to figure out the Student Union without feeling like a fool.

Ana gathered her hair to one side and ran her fingers through the chestnut curls as she looked around. Just like the first time, there were posters and tables and people everywhere. Her stomach growled at her for skipping lunch, but she hated spending money on food when she could have just brought something from home.

Would you sign our petition?

Ana turned to find a group of three young women wearing No Human is Illegal t-shirts.

What’s it for?

Ay, hija, what do you think? The Dreamers need citizenship and people need to stop treating us like second-rate Americans.

Us?

The girls gawked at her.

I agree with you about the Dreamers, but do you feel like a second-class citizen? We’re at a university, after all.

It isn’t just about us, the girl with her hair pulled into high pigtails said. it’s about fighting for our people.

You are Mexican, right?

I’m Argentinian—

"I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just assumed. But at any rate, it’s like