A Private Conversation with Money

By Richard Friesen

From Richard Friesen, financial strategist and the creator and developer of the "Mind Muscles" training courses, comes the captivating story of "Joe," a struggling journalist barely making ends meet. By joining Joe on his path through engaging real-world exercises, relatable life experiences, and a deep dive into the psychology of money, "A Private Conversation with Money" invites you to: 

 

• Discover how you are fighting your own brain when it comes to money management
• Align your core values, identity, beliefs, and behaviors with your financial goals.
• Deliver value to your world that expands your own financial freedom
• Reframe your own preconceptions around courting money, wealth, and success

 

For Joe, anger is his friend. Every day, a frustrated Joe Everie faces an unfair economic world where the greedy get rich fast, driving him to vent his stress to those that sympathize. Falling deeper into debt, Joe feels like he is falling into an abyss.

 

But then Money responds. Showing up in the middle of the night, "Money" takes Joe on a journey through the human brain, revealing how he fights financial success and how he can build a rapport with his deepest values. Though Joe fights his financial education every step of the way, he can't deny the effects "Money" has on his beliefs and behaviors, together with newfound knowledge of money affirmations that work. 

 

This is the story of Joe's financial redemption.

 

And Yours. 

Praise for Conversations with Money:

 

"After…Conversations with Money, I had immediate changes in my life. I realized the value I was adding in my work career, and now I have attracted receiving an attractive salary. CwM got to the root cause of my negative beliefs towards money…"

 

"[Richard's] dynamic and witty approach really drove home the concepts using the right analogy and the right story with each teaching point."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Themis Press
• Release date: Dec 18, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201078133

Richard Friesen

Richard Friesen works with good-hearted people who are conflicted about having money and wealth and are ready to experience rapport with their values and financial success. Mr. Friesen believes that many of us have absorbed conflicting messages about money from our families, culture, communities, political filters, and media. This internalized cacophony of conflicting voices restricts our creativity, focus, and success. Rich’s mission is the expansion of his international community of Money-Positive members that mentor, model, and celebrate our successes. His neuroscience-based Mind Muscles model gives his Money-Positive community the opportunity to reach their goals with online training, simulations, interactive exercises, and group encouragement. The online and live meetings offer problem-solving and worldwide friendship. Richard has been a floor trader in the Chicago trading pits and the Pacific Exchange in San Francisco where he built and sold a successful options trading firm and served on the board of directors. He also founded and built a financial software company where he invented ten significant trading interface patents. This combined with his Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology, Neurolinguistic Programing Master’s certification, and neuroscience focus, brings a unique framework to business, investing, and career success.

Book preview

Table of Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Personal Support

Major Contributors

Personal and Theoretical Inspiration

Intellectual Frameworks

Volunteer Army of Editors and Reviewers

Engagement Exercises

Introduction

Chapter 1 — The Email Scam

Chapter 2 — The Scream and the Reply

Chapter 3 — The Two Dates – The Awesome and the Awful

Chapter 4 — The Nightmare Emerges

Chapter 5 — The Techies in Their Teslas, and the Homeless in Their Tents

Chapter 6 — Do You Know What You Want?

Three Chairs Exercise — Your Relationship with Money

Chapter 7 — Joe Becomes Money

Chapter 8 — It Wasn’t a Walk in the Park

Chapter 9 — The Golden Keys

Expanding Your Awareness — SET Instructions

Chapter 10 — Dinner and Debate

Chapter 11 — Who Wrote the Article?

The Economic Collapse is Coming for You! — Analysis

Chapter 12 — Joe’s Brain Ignites

Chapter 13 — Keeping Out of the Water

Chapter 14 — Sources of Suffering

Chapter 15 — When Money Felt Good

Chapter 16 — Conflict at the Concert

Chapter 17 — Walking, Awake, and Anguish

Chapter 18 — Certificates of Appreciation

Certificates of Appreciation — Making it Real

Chapter 19 — Money, Value, and Force

Money Speech — Choose Your Experience

Chapter 20 — Riches and Resentment

Exercise: Hidden Anchors to Wealth

Hidden Anchors to Wealth

Riches and Resentment — Money Reviews Pissed’s Responses

Chapter 21 — The Extravagant Money Model

Capital for a Better Future — For our Children

Chapter 22 — Design: Cause or Effect?

Chapter 23 — Transmutation: Turning Lead into Gold

Chapter 24 — Designing the Relationship

Chapter 25 — Money’s Rules

Chapter 26 — Owning Your Success Thermostat

Wealth Identity Exercise

Chapter 27 — Welcome to the Galactic Wormhole

Chapter 28 — Don’t Eat the Whole Pie

Chapter 29 — Values, Truth, and Reality

Money and Value Loss

Chapter 30 — Who’s Interviewing Whom?

Chapter 31 — A Tale of Two Planets

Healthy, Wealthy Family — Raise Yourself Again!

Chapter 32 — Money and Meaning

Chapter 33 — From Depression to Delight

Chapter 34 — Joe’s New Job and Julie’s Jab

Your Value Vision Board

Chapter 35 — Conversation With Our Higher Self

Epilogue

Your Relationship with Money — Three Chairs Exercise

Additional Support for a Money-Positive Life

Appendix — Major Principles: Review and Summary

Agency — The Power of Personal Ownership

Awareness and Acceptance — SET Development

Beliefs and the Power of Tribes

Capital — The Excellence of Excess

Certificates of Appreciation

Context — The Context We Choose Creates the Life We Live

Core Value: Respect for the Dignity and Integrity of All

Economic Mobility — Expanding Life’s Menu for All

Equity and Power

Golden Keys

Government and Money Rules

Maps and Territory

Meaning — Where is It Located?

Mistakes

Money and Acid

Money-Positive Life

Money Rules

Process, Not Outcome

Victim and Perpetrator

Wealth and Value Contribution

Zero-Sum Game — One-Pie Economy

A Private Conversation With Money

by

Richard W. Friesen

All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the author at [e-mail].

All rights reserved.

Published by Themis Press https://themispress.com

https://conversations.money/

First Edition: January 2022

ISBN 978-0-9838199-8-1 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-0879-8955-6 (Ebook)

Copyright Richard W. Friesen 2022

Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Personal Support

Major Contributors

Personal and Theoretical Inspiration

Intellectual Frameworks

Volunteer Army of Editors and Reviewers

Engagement Exercises

Introduction

Chapter 1 — The Email Scam

Chapter 2 — The Scream and the Reply

Chapter 3 — The Two Dates – The Awesome and the Awful

Chapter 4 — The Nightmare Emerges

Chapter 5 — The Techies in Their Teslas, and the Homeless in Their Tents

Chapter 6 — Do You Know What You Want?

Three Chairs Exercise — Your Relationship with Money

Chapter 7 — Joe Becomes Money

Chapter 8 — It Wasn’t a Walk in the Park

Chapter 9 — The Golden Keys

Expanding Your Awareness — SET Instructions

Chapter 10 — Dinner and Debate

Chapter 11 — Who Wrote the Article?

The Economic Collapse is Coming for You! — Analysis

Chapter 12 — Joe’s Brain Ignites

Chapter 13 — Keeping Out of the Water

Chapter 14 — Sources of Suffering

Chapter 15 — When Money Felt Good

Chapter 16 — Conflict at the Concert

Chapter 17 — Walking, Awake, and Anguish

Chapter 18 — Certificates of Appreciation

Certificates of Appreciation — Making it Real

Chapter 19 — Money, Value, and Force

Money Speech — Choose Your Experience

Chapter 20 — Riches and Resentment

Exercise: Hidden Anchors to Wealth

Hidden Anchors to Wealth

Riches and Resentment — Money Reviews Pissed’s Responses

Chapter 21 — The Extravagant Money Model

Capital for a Better Future — For our Children

Chapter 22 — Design: Cause or Effect?

Chapter 23 — Transmutation: Turning Lead into Gold

Chapter 24 — Designing the Relationship

Chapter 25 — Money’s Rules

Chapter 26 — Owning Your Success Thermostat

Wealth Identity Exercise

Chapter 27 — Welcome to the Galactic Wormhole

Chapter 28 — Don’t Eat the Whole Pie

Chapter 29 — Values, Truth, and Reality

Money and Value Loss

Chapter 30 — Who’s Interviewing Whom?

Chapter 31 — A Tale of Two Planets

Healthy, Wealthy Family — Raise Yourself Again!

Chapter 32 — Money and Meaning

Chapter 33 — From Depression to Delight

Chapter 34 — Joe’s New Job and Julie’s Jab

Your Value Vision Board

Chapter 35 — Conversation With Our Higher Self

Epilogue

Your Relationship with Money — Three Chairs Exercise

Additional Support for a Money-Positive Life

Appendix — Major Principles: Review and Summary

Agency — The Power of Personal Ownership

Awareness and Acceptance — SET Development

Beliefs and the Power of Tribes

Capital — The Excellence of Excess

Certificates of Appreciation

Context — The Context We Choose Creates the Life We Live

Core Value: Respect for the Dignity and Integrity of All

Economic Mobility — Expanding Life’s Menu for All

Equity and Power

Golden Keys

Government and Money Rules

Maps and Territory

Meaning — Where is It Located?

Mistakes

Money and Acid

Money-Positive Life

Money Rules

Process, Not Outcome

Victim and Perpetrator

Wealth and Value Contribution

Zero-Sum Game — One-Pie Economy

Foreword

Money is not the most important thing in life, but it’s right up there with oxygen.

~ Les Brown

Creating a positive and productive relationship with money will impact your life more thoroughly than almost anything else you can do.

After almost thirty years working with hundreds of clients as a business and relationship coach, it is my experience that a person’s relationship with money mirrors their relationship with life itself. When my clients clean up how they think about money—what it means to them; what role it plays in their lives; how they go about earning, spending, saving, and investing it—this not only empowers them to create a wealthy life of unending opportunities, but it also deepens their experience of meaning and fulfillment. Although money won’t bring you happiness, if you know how to use it, it can certainly be the vehicle that drives you to find it.

If you want to up-level your relationship with money into something that empowers and inspires you to live a great life, my friend and colleague Richard Friesen is the person you want to talk to. Over the last twenty-five years of me knowing and working with Rich, he has impressed me again and again with his insights into how to use money to enhance human thriving. Whether we were having conversations about the software and algorithms that he built for trading stocks and options, the mindset he taught his traders so they could make clutch trading decisions under pressure, or the contagious delight he exuded when discussing what it means to add value to a transaction, I have always profited from hearing Rich’s perspective.

When he told me that he was writing this book, Conversations with Money, I thought it was a clever idea. Rather than just talk about money, get into dialog with it! I imagined that it would be entertaining and helpful. It turned out to be so much more than that. This book took me on a profound journey that guided me to rethink my fundamental ideas about what money is, what role it plays in my life and in society, and how it can increase my ability to contribute to the world. The more I got caught up in the story, the more insights I had about how I talk about money, how I feel about money (or the lack thereof), and the role that money plays in my experience of satisfaction and fulfillment in life.

There are thousands of books about money that teach you techniques for saving or investing or earning it. There are hundreds more that tell you what you should think about money in order to become abundant or wealthy. This book is not a treatise like the others; it is a story. It is an adventure! As you follow the main character through his experiences, the book gently confronts you with your own beliefs about money, then systematically guides you step-by-step to transform and enrich those beliefs. This book is not just a collection of ideas that you are supposed to agree with; it is a series of experiences and exercises that open up new possibilities for you.

If you want to transform your relationship with money such that you unleash your creativity and productivity; if you want to work in concert with the world such that you provide value and receive value in return; if you want to better your life, the lives of the people you care about, and the entire world, then this book is meant for you. Richard Friesen delivers on his promise to take you on a journey that will forever change your relationship with money—for the better.

—Mark Michael Lewis, Founder of the Human Thriving Institute

Acknowledgments

Writing the acknowledgements is challenging, because there are so many collaborators who helped me at every stage of production. The contributions are now mixed into the final results, creating magic that could only happen with each contributor’s honesty and heartfelt feedback.

Personal Support

Firstly, I appreciate the personal support from my wife, Marty, who supported my last four years off and on with frequent encouragement and uninterrupted space and time. My assistant, Lindsay Cohen, does everything I can’t do. Also, I give thanks to my coaching clients and group members, whose growth and development have been nothing short of inspiring.

Major Contributors

David Robb took a copy that looked like a movie script and changed it into a story, adding richness and depth to the character Julie. This shifted the feel of the book from a Socratic dialogue into a rich and compelling tale.

Next, I’d like to thank the contributors who have had a major hand in shaping the final draft. First, Scott Adams, Dilbert cartoonist and author of Win Bigly, gave the original draft two thumbs down. His critique inspired a new format that delivers the concepts more effectively. Karin Wiberg had the most challenging job of editing an early version that was almost too rough to edit. However, thanks to her help in shaping the earlier draft, we had something to build on. A. K. Wood ruthlessly cut out thirty percent of the book that was mired in the minutiae of conversation, so the significant points could shine. She also helped transform the feedback from our early readers into improved language and communication. Robin Fuller was engaged to do the final proofreading but contributed so much more. By putting herself in the story she improved the impact not only on herself but for our readers.

Personal and Theoretical Inspiration

My intellectual foundations rest on so many wonderful and inspiring people. Carl Buchheit from NLP Marin gave me the structure of human expansion and growth. Michele Masters and her Money Magic course contributed to the exercises. Peter Connor, co-leader of my Mind Muscles Academy mastermind group, helped shape the concept of context as a way of understanding repeated behaviors that no longer serve us.

Intellectual Frameworks

The concepts in this book were inspired by a broad range of authors and thinkers. The following rise above the crowd:

Walter Williams identified money as Certificates of Appreciation

L. Michael Hall, for his focus on clear thinking and communication

Fritz Perls, who laid the foundation for my training at the Gestalt Institute

Byron Katie, who simply asked four questions

Peter Ralston taught me the value of Not Knowing

Alfred Korzybski simply said, The map is not the territory.

Ayn Rand, who wrote the most potent money speech

Thomas Sowell’s personal story and free-market support

John Enright from the Gestalt Institute and Good Neighbor Project

Scott Adams reframes the world and focuses on process, not outcomes

Jordan Peterson and his clarity on the human condition and culture

Carl Buchheit, who humanized neuro-linguistic programming

Robert Leppo, who is my model for courage as a speculator

Ray Dalio, who explains economics in simple human terms

Volunteer Army of Editors and Reviewers

I am fortunate enough to have a fantastic community of contributors who believe in making the world a better place. Each of these people made a difference at different stages of the book. I had so many early readers that this list is not complete.

Adrian Li, Albert Lau, Ann McGlinn, Colleen McClure, Danny Csavossy, David Hawthorne, David Kohler, Dean Wolf, Denise Buckel, Don Ramer, Ed Hannan, Emily Penner, Eric Ho, Erton Muhametaj, Gary Burdick, Gary Craig, Glenn Osborne, Gregory Nelson, Hana Radar, James Kelly, Jameson Rikel, Jeff Stearns, Jenny West, John Jensen, John Ullman, Kristen Stone, Laura Millington, Mandeep Gill, Michael Diaz, Michael Filighera, Michelle Burdick Michelle Hurlbut, MJ Wetherhead, Natalia Holmes, Raji Raman, Richard Wills, Robert Rutter, Ryan Sharp, Tammy Southwick, Wofgang Linder

Engagement Exercises

This book contains several exercises that invite you to explore your unique approach to money and wealth. The goal of the exercises is to expand your awareness, assist you in accepting your discoveries, give you a new menu of choices that support your values, help you feel better, and get you to your goals. I encourage you to take this opportunity for self-discovery.

You can read detailed instructions for the exercises in our complimentary online course. Learn more and register here: https://conversations.money

Introduction

It was the dead of the night, and I awoke with a start. I heard a clear, deep voice say, You are only worth two hundred thousand dollars a year.

The hair still stands up on the back of my neck when I recall that night. I sat up in bed. It was 3:00 am. My wife was sleeping peacefully. No one else was in the room, and the only explanation was that the voice came from deep inside of me. The powerful tone of the voice made clear that it was not to be questioned.

Without wasting another second, I climbed out of bed, showered, dressed, and drove across the Golden Gate Bridge to the Pacific Stock Exchange in San Francisco, where I made my living as an independent options market maker. I got to the exchange floor so early that the doors were still locked. When the exchange staff opened the building, I went to the deserted trading pit and stood where I always did, at the outer edge. Then I gazed at the most advantageous trading spot, between the two busiest brokers and right in front of the exchange’s order book official. In this spot, a trader could clearly hear what was going on and have the first crack at orders. However, this spot was always held by the most aggressive and toughest risk-taker on the floor.

You are only worth two hundred thousand dollars a year.

The voice from the middle of the night came back—but I realized it no longer applied to me. I walked to the very front of the pit, planted myself in the coveted center spot, and waited for trading to start. The other market makers began drifting in a few minutes before the 6:30 a.m. opening bell. No one seemed to give any thought to my new position, except for the guy who considered it his rightful territory. He stood beside me and started making small talk, but kept one eye on the clock. Right before the bell went off, he tried to nudge me aside.

I didn’t move.

An electric jolt went through the pit, and everyone took a step back as a shoving match ensued. I got the upper hand by imagining I was wearing concrete boots. The order book official quickly warned us to break it up or receive a ten-thousand-dollar fine.

I was still in the spot.

The bell went off, and I became a wild animal. I was screaming, waving my hands, buying and selling as fast as I could write tickets. The other market makers and brokers surely thought that Rich Friesen had lost his mind.

Over the next two months, the pit finally conceded that the spot was mine.

That year, I went on to make many times my previous limit. It turned out I had an internal limiting thermostat that was set by my beliefs about worthiness. The voice I’d heard in the middle of the night represented that limit. Once the voice of unworthiness expressed that belief so clearly and succinctly, I realized that it didn’t apply to me anymore.

I used that year’s profits to build my own independent trading firm. Some of the traders I hired used my low-risk trading strategy and made money from day one. Others struggled week after week, and no amount of additional knowledge or training could help. It soon became apparent that some of these traders were trapped by their own internal limitations. Upon exploration, I found that their conflicts were similar to mine—and produced the same result.

I’d heard a voice in the middle of the night that triggered significant new beliefs and behaviors. That transformation came out of the blue. From that point on, I was fascinated by the possibility of taking that accidental voice and the resulting positive changes I’d experienced