Holiday in the Nudist Colony

By René Beauchemin, Ted Bun, Michael Beyers and 10 more

Early in 2020, naturist fiction author P. Z. Walker had the idea for a collection of mystery stories to be called "Murder in the Nudist Colony," deliberately using the antiquated term "nudist colony" for a slightly retro, humorous touch. I put together the call for submissions, posted it on Twitter and they came. Writers, some established naturist fiction authors, some imaginative non-naturists and some new writers came forward. Robert Longpré set up the structure to share documents as well as the ISBN registered by Retired Eagle Books. Fabien Barabé designed the cover. We had fifteen submissions within a relatively quick timeframe. Then Will Forest and I set about the editing. Robert and Paul massaged the stories into a consistent format and …

Mad as the original idea seemed, it worked. Books were sold and money raised for our chosen charity. Just as well, 2020 turned out to be one long health crisis.

It was followed by a second book Romance in the Nudist Colony.

The project has been a strong example of an online community working together. It had also been so much fun many of the writers were badgering Will and I to do a follow up.

This is the third volume of the "In the Nudist Colony" series, a holiday, actually a series of holidays.

This new anthology contains thirteen shining new stories for you to immerse yourself in.

The nudist "colony" as a setting, dates back to "Cool Cottontail" a book by John Ball, eighth in the series he wrote about the detective Virgil Tibbs. As with all the Virgil Tibbs books from "In the Heat of the Night" onward racial prejudice is a part of the narrative.

In this third collection I think we have continued to address many of the other prejudices Virgil would have experienced.

In this collection we celebrate holidays, real and imagined, encompassing almost every month of the year. The stories in this collection share expressions of the love of life, the love of clothes-free living and acceptance of difference.

Slip into something comfortable and enjoy!

Ted Bun

• Language: English
• Publisher: Retired Eagle Books
• Release date: Nov 25, 2021
• ISBN: 9781989019375

Book preview

Table of Contents

FOREWORD

Early in 2020, naturist fiction author P. Z. Walker had the idea for a collection of mystery stories to be called Murder in the Nudist Colony, deliberately using the antiquated term nudist colony for a slightly retro, humorous touch. I put together the call for submissions, posted it on Twitter and they came. Writers, some established naturist fiction authors, some imaginative non-naturists and some new writers came forward. Robert Longpré set up the structure to share documents as well as the ISBN registered by Retired Eagle Books. Fabien Barabé designed the cover. We had fifteen submissions within a relatively quick timeframe. Then Will Forest and I set about the editing. Robert and Paul massaged the stories into a consistent format and ...

Mad as the original idea seemed, it worked. Books were sold and money raised for our chosen charity. Just as well, 2020 turned out to be one long health crisis.

It was followed by a second book Romance in the Nudist Colony.

The project has been a strong example of an online community working together. It had also been so much fun many of the writers were badgering Will and I to do a follow up.

This is the third volume of the In the Nudist Colony series, a holiday, actually a series of holidays.

This new anthology contains thirteen shining new stories for you to immerse yourself in.

The nudist colony as a setting, dates back to Cool Cottontail a book by John Ball, eighth in the series he wrote about the detective Virgil Tibbs. As with all the Virgil Tibbs books from In the Heat of the Night onward racial prejudice is a part of the narrative.

In this third collection I think we have continued to address many of the other prejudices Virgil would have experienced.

In this collection we celebrate holidays, real and imagined, encompassing almost every month of the year. The stories in this collection share expressions of the love of life, the love of clothes-free living and acceptance of difference.

Slip into something comfortable and enjoy!

Ted Bun

The Redneck Games

by René Beauchemin

I’m sick and tired of being afraid of the damned virus, Alan pronounced as he sat in his rocking chair on the back deck looking out at the yard. I love our garden, don’t get me wrong, but enough is enough!

Anne nodded her head in agreement. Despite the pandemic, they had fared well over the past year and a half. They had even been able to visit their grandchildren a few times between waves of the pandemic. Both she and her husband had received their second vaccine and were studiously watching the news to track the numbers of others getting vaccinated. There was finally a reason for hope that life would soon be back to normal, at least some sort of normal.

I just got an email from Janice at the club, Anne replied. "There’s going to be a Welcome Back Weekend. Janice is hopeful that the announcement lifting the pandemic measures will come within the next two weeks. The event is being scheduled for the August long weekend, which is six weeks away."

About damn time. I miss hanging out with the crowd at Sunny Green Acres.

Janice also mentioned that only those fully vaccinated will be allowed entry onto the grounds. She hopes that it will be enough encouragement for the vaccine-resistant group to do their part.

You mean, Bill and Candace along with their redneck buddies. Good luck with that. In my opinion, the place will be better off without them! Alan pronounced.

~

As Janice had predicted, the province had lifted the pandemic measures. For the past month, life had tentatively begun to open to the possibility of being safe in public places. The country had opened its borders allowing people to travel out-of-country once again. Anne and Alan had taken a road trip to see Anne’s sister in the neighbouring province. The only thing that caused a bit of stress during the trip was eating out at restaurants that had become very busy. Yet, bit by bit, the two of them had begun to relax. Neither was ready to become a tourist and be surrounded by strangers. ‘After all’, as Alan would have pointed out, ‘you never know who was vaccinated and who wasn’t.’

The camper is packed, Anne announced unnecessarily, as Alan had finally placed the last item she had given him into the trailer’s small refrigerator.

Up and down the streets of their small town, other camping trailers were being prepped for a trip to some lake or riverside campgrounds. The August long weekend saw almost everyone vacate the town. Most would travel fewer than a hundred kilometres to find their campsite. Some would travel several hours to a northern lake, and a few would begin a cross-country adventure with new campgrounds to be discovered along the way. Alan and Anne had a four-hour drive to reach Sunny Green Acres. No one else in the town was aware that the campgrounds were for naturists. ‘Somethings you just don’t advertise,’ was Alan’s belief.

I’ll go fill up the gas tank and get the tires checked, Alan advertised.

Stop at the store and pick up a few bottles of wine, Anne instructed her husband, giving him a knowing grin.

Maybe I should pick up a few of those vodka and fruit juice coolers as well, he added, giving his wife a playful leer.

~

Anne rushed from the cab of the pickup truck to embrace her best friend, Janice. Anne was still wearing a sundress while Janice wore only a pair of flip-flops along with a wide-brimmed hat. Alan got out of the truck to shake Ken’s hand and to give Janice a hug. Ken was Janice’s significant other.

Glad that the two of you made it safely, said Ken. Here, I’ll help you get your trailer parked, he offered. Janice made sure that no one parked in your regular site.

Thanks, Ken.

It took a bit of alternate backing up and then pulling forward until Anne was satisfied with the trailer’s position. Then, it was only a matter of securing the trailer and making sure it was level before Anne entered and shucked off her light dress. Alan didn’t wait until he was inside the trailer as he took off his button-down shirt and shorts. He tossed them onto the passenger seat of his truck and followed Ken to the clubhouse. A banner was draped across the front of the clubhouse advertising the weekend celebrations called the Redneck Games.

So, are you going to defend your Sunflower Seed Spitting trophy? Alan asked Ken. Ken had won the contest the last time the games had been held two years earlier.

Janice says I should try something different this year. She says the Wet T-Shirt contest is my best bet, especially since I have more curves on my upper body. She tells me my breasts are bigger than most of the women, and that my paunch is very formidable. What about you?

Alan laughed as his friend had indeed gained quite a bit of unneeded weight, something that most people had also found had happened to them during the pandemic. Alan was fortunate in having a wife that made him stay active with walking and their mini fitness room in the basement. Anne had also strictly monitored their food intake, making sure that a lot of vegetables and fruit were part of their diet.

The usual, the Skinny Dip and Bobbing for Apples. I’m saving myself for the dance and the camper crawl, Alan answered.

The truth was that Alan was not in any way shape or form, a redneck; unlike Ken and most of the other men who were members of Sunny Green Acres. Had he come across Ken in the past outside of the campgrounds, they would have never become friends. The two men appeared to have nothing in common, other than they both enjoyed being nude. It had been their wives who had served as the catalyst for their friendship which had extended beyond the campgrounds. Today, the two men were best friends and were referred to as the modern-day odd couple.

As the two men entered the clubhouse, they saw many of their old friends already gathered, although there were some notable absences. Bill and Candace and what could only be called their redneck clique were the most noticeable among the missing summer crowd. What came to Alan’s attention was the presence of new faces in the clubhouse. Surprisingly, most of them were younger people. Like most naturist campgrounds and resorts, Sunny Green Acres was predominantly populated with retired people: couples, widows and widowers, and a small handful of divorced men and women with the men outnumbering the women. The club prided itself on being diverse as there were two lesbian couples and one gay couple among the paid membership.

Ken looked at them and frowned. I don’t know about some of them. They look sketchy to me. Take that black couple over there. There’s no way the members will be comfortable with them in the club. And then there’s those two guys with long hair with their partners. They are probably just curious about us white folk who are nudists. I’m sure they are from the Indian reserve further down the valley.

Ken, do you realise that you are sounding like a racist? They’re First Nations and not Indians. What has their skin colour got to do with anything?

Well, you know. Just look around you, mate. Everyone is white here except them. I’m sure they must feel uncomfortably out of place. It’s not that I’m racist, I’m just stating the facts.

What makes you say that everyone here is white except them? Hell, I’m darker than those two long-haired guys you’re referring to as Indians.

You just tan more than the rest of us, Alan. You’re white beneath that awesome tan.

Alan said nothing in response to Ken’s comments though they had bothered him. Looking around at the gathering, he saw that Ken was right. Almost everyone there was white or appeared to be white. And as he well knew, perception was everything. Perception is what allowed Alan to be viewed as one of them. And that perception was based on his personality as well as the fact that he had a wife who was white. Alan was Métis though he didn’t advertise the fact. Rather than make a comment he might later regret, Alan walked up to the two couples who appeared to be First Nations.

Welcome to Sunny Green Acres, he said while displaying an authentic smile. I’m Alan.

The four guests smiled in response, while the tallest of the group, a woman with long black hair spoke for them. I’m Rita and this is Marlene. My partner is Paul and Marlene’s mate is Philip. We were curious about what goes on here. We’re from the Weysakiwiw First Nation, about a half-hour from here. We’ve heard so much about this place that we just had to come and see for ourselves.

So, what do you think? Any surprises? asked Alan.

Not really, Rita replied. A bunch of naked people is pretty much what we expected.

Are you guys renting a trailer, or did you bring your own?

We are setting up a teepee on the front lawn. Paul spoke with a deadpan expression before laughing. Just joking. We’ve got a fifth-wheel trailer parked near the dugout. It’s Marlene’s trailer.

Marlene smiled and said, Thanks for talking with us, Alan. You’re the only one who has said anything to us, except for Janice who took our booking over the phone, and Roger who showed us where to park the trailer.

I’m sure that will change once people get to know you. Why don’t the four of you come to our trailer and meet my wife? We’re going to have a potluck for dinner. Just bring something to share, your own chair and towel.

We’d love that, Rita said as she smiled and nodded to the others. We just need to know where your trailer is.

Oh, sorry about that, Alan said with a hint of embarrassment. It’s that small trailer all decked out with decals of birds and fish near the shower house.

Cool, said Paul. We’ll see you later then."

Alan walked back to where Ken was now standing. Bill and Candice were with him. Alan was surprised that they had given in to peer pressure and got their vaccinations. He also saw that Anne was in the clubhouse and was talking animatedly with the black couple. From where he stood, it seemed like they knew each other. She turned and saw him and waved him over.

Alan, this is Gigi and Ebo. You’ve heard me talk about them.

Pleased to meet both of you, Alan said as he grasped Ebo’s hand that was offered in a handshake, before doing the same with Gigi. Anne had told me quite a few stories about both of you, all good I assure you, he added with a chuckle. Ebo and Gigi worked at the hospital in the city where Anne still went to work on a casual basis. Anne didn’t do retirement all that well and was continually being drawn back to her work as a nurse at the hospital.

I’ve invited them to our potluck for dinner. I hope you did the same thing with those two couples who had your attention when I came in.

Of course I did, Alan said while adding in a nod of his head. Paul and Rita, and Marlene and Philip will join us. They’re from the Weysakiwiw First Nation further down the valley.

Anne then turned to Gigi and the two of them talked about one of the latest scandals to keep the gossip mongers busy. Alan encouraged Ebo to go and meet Ken and a few other members, taking the time to try and learn more about the doctors.

So, Anne tells me that you are a pediatrician, and that Gigi is a heart surgeon. I don’t suppose that you get much time off.

We are kept busy, that’s for sure, Ebo replied, surprising Alan with his command of colloquial English. For some reason, Alan had presumed that Ebo would have strongly accented English. We do take breaks when we can, he added.

So, what made you think of coming to a nudist colony such as Sunny Green Acres?

Your wife, Anne. She’s constantly raving about the place, especially after she found out that we had been naturists back in Oklahoma where we are from.

American? I would have guessed you were from Ghana, Alan admitted.

Good guess, laughed Ebo. I was born in Ghana, as was Gigi. Actually, we were from the same village where our parents were teachers. Both of our parents migrated to the U.S. when we were just a few years old. Gigi and I grew up in Tulsa, going to the same schools. We came to Canada because of a doctor shortage.

Was it a good choice, coming to Canada from the U.S.? Alan asked.

Yes, except for the fierce cold in the wintertime, Ebo said with a laugh.

The two men continued to talk as more people entered the clubhouse to register for the Redneck Games, with more people leaving to take advantage of the afternoon sunshine for sunbathing and taking turns in the large pool.

Anne caught Alan’s attention and signalled that it was time to go back to their camping unit. They met near the door, stopping to shake hands with old friends along the way.

We got work to do, Anne informed her husband. I also need you to run into town to get some frozen juice and ice cubes. Also, you might want to pick up a few more snacks since we will have more people coming to the trailer later for the potluck.

Did you sign us up for the games? Alan asked.

Yes, as we discussed. Now, hustle your butt before our company comes.

~

There were at least twelve people who had attended the potluck with a few others arriving later in the evening to chat about the games beginning the next day. Anne wore a smile to confirm that her social event had been a success in her eyes.

I like our new guests. I sure hope they decide to become members, Anne confided. "Lord knows