Snot

By Chris Hewitt

It’s summer in Windmore, but residents are ill, including Sophia’s best friend Yogesh

No one seems to know why, especially Dr Jones, Windmore’s resident GP

then Professor Boggs arrives leading a team of Hazmat suited scientists and declares Windmore
locked down

She also wants all the resident’s snot filled tissues

Sophia knows something is wrong and when herself and James find themselves immune, they’re determined to find out exactly what’s going on

• Language: English
• Publisher: Chris Hewitt
• Release date: Nov 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005783464

Book preview

Snot

Chris Hewitt

Chris Hewitt lives in Manchester, England.

He is the creator and writer of a spoof blog, which has featured in the national press and has over one million readers.

Snot is his fourth children’s novel.

Also by the author:

Saving Christmas

The Book of Doom

Paws

Copyright 2021 Chris Hewitt

Smashwords Edition

Chris Hewitt has asserted his right under the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

Front cover designed by Chris Hewitt

Copyright 2021 Chris Hewitt

Front cover font Hitchcock Copyright Matt Terich

For Geoff & Jenny

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter One

Some people feared doctors. Sophia Owen didn’t. She’d taken injections while others fainted, had blood sucked from her arm through a needle, and once had her leg x-rayed when she fell from an unclimbable tree.

The eleven-year-old stood in an examination room surrounded by twenty excitable kids. Her long brown curls hung around her shoulders and her deep brown eyes watched Dr Jones with awe. She’d changed Sophia’s mind about what she’d study when she finished school.

The doctor rocked the latest sneakers instead of the plastic clogs the nurses wore. Too cool for boring scrubs she wore for skinny jeans and a t-shirt emblazoned with The Magic Badgers, Sophia’s dad’s favourite band.

Sophia would follow in her footsteps; study to be the best doctor. Everyone would call her Dr Owen and she’d travel the world saving lives. She’d write bestselling books about newly discovered illnesses and their remedies.

As school trips went, Windmore’s medical centre peaked the kid’s interest. Sophia’s small town being in the grip of a viral epidemic was the main reason. How had it happened? No one knew, although residents offered plenty of ideas since the first case.

Imported from another country? No one in town visited anywhere exotic. Just caravan parks or popular beach destinations abroad.

A secret government experiment? Windmore wasn’t the town they’d choose. Too rural and no one could keep a secret for long.

Aliens? If intelligent life existed, with the choices Earth offered, Windmore was bottom of the list.

Most agreed it was a cold virus during the wrong season. Better being ill in the summer than winter.

James Chapman stood to Sophia’s left; a whirlwind of energy dressed in a creased school uniform. His light blonde hair missed a comb as much as his shirt missed an iron.

With him on her left, Yogesh Patel should’ve been to her right; the third part of their triangle of mischief. Only he was off school, downed by the very illness sweeping the town.

And James was not happy.

Look at this, he whispered to Sophia, showing her the latest text from their friend.

Watching loads of films today. Ha! Ha! Ha!

He ran his finger down the screen, scrolling through messages. His jealousy over Yogesh missing school only encouraged their friend.

Just woke up. Going to lie in bed all day Ha!

How’s school? Still boring?

I’m really, really missing homework Ha!

Sophia was in the same group chat. She’d read everything he’d text and didn’t reply to his bragging. She knew Yogesh suffered. He couldn’t handle a common cold, let alone whatever he had now.

Quiet, she whispered back.

So far, Dr Jones held the class’s attention. They’d enjoyed playing with the model skeletons, convinced they were real. She’d given up trying to convince them otherwise.

Her brief history of gross illnesses won over the kids as well. Especially the accompanying photos. She’d promised to make copies for the more bloodthirsty of Sophia’s classmates.

Didn’t Dr Jones used to wear glasses? said James.

On a student volunteer, the doctor demonstrated an otoscopy, which she explained was a complicated name for checking an ear with a small torch.

Yeah, said Sophia.

Not only were her glasses missing, but her straw-coloured hair, usually kept in a ponytail, was held in an elaborate bun.

Mr Grover looks smarter than usual, James said, desperate to have some kind of equipment tested on him.

He’s got too much aftershave on, said Sophia. My eyes stung when I passed him on the coach.

She looked back at their love-sick teacher huddled in the corner. His knowledge of science came second only to science fiction; especially anything with star in the title.

He’d trimmed his beard, cropped his hair shorter to a fade and swapped his usual shirt and jeans for a suit so pristine; he’d refused to sit down on