Understanding Your Child's and Teen's Behavior: Simple Steps and Resources to Guide You Through the Journey

By Angie Rumaldo

As a licensed clinical psychologist and psychiatric nurse practitioner, Dr. Angie Rumaldo has helped adolescents make huge advancements in their lives. Now, she's here to shed new light on your own child's challenges and how to overcome them.

Worried about your child's behavior and future? Discover how to decode their conduct t

• Language: English
• Publisher: True Pursuit Psychological Services, PC
• Release date: Sep 25, 2017
• ISBN: 9780999156025

Angie Rumaldo

Angie Rumaldo, Ph.D., APN, BC-MHNP, is a licensed clinical psychologist and Advanced Practice Nurse. She has over fifteen years of experience working in the mental health field. She has worked with individuals, couples, and groups in a variety of settings. She is the executive director for True Pursuit Psychological Services, PC, located in Manhattan and in the Bronx. Dr. Rumaldo incorporates a supportive, flexible, and integrative approach, utilizing interpersonal, psychodynamic, and cognitive behavioral techniques. Dr. Rumaldo was trained as a scientist-practitioner and has conducted individual, family, couple, and group therapy in a variety of settings, including a domestic violence shelter, community mental health center, and hospital and outpatient settings. She has also performed psychological testing for over a thousand clients for the last eight years in a variety of settings. She is trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) and specializes in cognitive behavioral techniques. She is a member of the American Psychological Association, American Nursing Association, American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress, and New York State Psychological Association. Dr. Rumaldo has worked as an associate adjunct professor at Manhattan College and in other teaching facilities, where she taught at the graduate or undergraduate level, in the department of Mental Health and Counseling and the Department of Psychology.

Book preview

Understanding

your Child’s

and

Teen’s Behavior

SIMPLE STEPS AND RESOURCES TO GUIDE YOU THROUGH THE JOURNEY

By Angie Rumaldo, Ph.D, APN, BC-MHNP

Understanding Your Child's and Teenage Behavior, Simple Steps and Resources to Guide You Through the Journey. Copyright © 2017 Angie Rumaldo, Ph.D

All rights reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced, translated, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator at the address below.

True Pursuit

2860 Bailey Avenue, #1A, Bronx, NY 10463

www.angierumaldo.com

The information in this volume is not intended as a substitute for consultation with healthcare professionals. Each individual's health concerns should be evaluated by a qualified professional.

Printed in the United States of America

First Edition

ISBN 978-0-9991560-0-1

www.angierumaldo.com

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017913677

DEDICATION

For my daughters and spouse. I love you

with all my heart and thank you for

being so patient.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part One: How do I Begin?

1. Introduction

2. Signs! Signs! Signs!

3. The Action Plan

4. Difficulties! Difficulties! Difficulties!

Part Two: Taking Action

5. Should I Take Action?

6. Mental Health Help?

7. 504 Plans Revealed: A Wonderful Tool!

8. Individualized Education Plan Revealed

Part Three: Stigma and Conclusion

9. But I Do Not Want My Child to Be Stigmatized or Have a Record

10. Wow, All Done!

Bibliography

Resources

About the Author

Introduction

How can I help you? I say looking at the concerned and somewhat fearful face of a new client.

I was told you could help me, the client responds, with certainty and hope.

I smile and respond, Why have you brought your child to see me today?

She responds with less fear and more confidence: My friend told me that you can help me, that you will help me get what my child needs—you will make things better.

A bold statement - one that when addressed to me always makes me fearful. Can I be helpful? Will I be helpful? The statements hold many expectations. However, they are always very powerful and moving to me. Surprisingly, the above statement, taken verbatim from a client with their permission, is often expressed by different clients in my office. I’m sure you are feeling this way too, as you read the book. Will the book be helpful? Will I find answers and solutions to resolve my problem?

Each time a parent comes to the office to seek answers, appearing confused and concerned, I am humbled, scared, and hopeful for them. I am hopeful that I will be able to find the answers that they seek, and that I can help their family—that I can help their child. However, I am also nervous: can I provide them with the information and resources that they need to move forward? Are they going to embark on this journey and develop an action plan that can serve as a catalyst and help their family move forward in the right direction? How will they respond to interventions, suggestions, and to the unknown? How will they respond to statements that they do not agree with, or may not want to understand?

As you read along throughout this book, ask yourselves these questions as well. Like the clients in my office, your active involvement, open mind, and your ability to take action on the suggestions, will help promote success.

To be a parent, to find answers and to help your child and yourself, you must learn the cooperating arts of flexibility and patience. Flexible with what you consider certain truths about yourself, your concept of the family, and your child. Flexible with what preconceived ideas you may have about all that you know, and openness to the idea of change. Simply put, when something is not working, change must occur.

Change is hard for everyone, especially if it is moving in a direction that you did not desire, understand, or planned for. Therefore, it is essential that you utilize this book as a tool to help you create and direct the changes that need to occur in life. In this way, the transitions will be less stressful.

Finally, patience is the true key to change. Change can be rather sudden, but usually, long-lasting change occurs with time. Regardless of the time frame, it always requires many ups and downs before you arrive at your ultimate goal. Expect to have good days and bad days, to have some interventions work while some to fail. This trial and error is a necessary part of growth and bonding with your children. No matter whether a solution to the problem was successful or a failure, it was a learning experience that will eventually serve as a guide to the story of the life of your family. With patience, flexibility, as well as the knowledge and resources you will acquire from this book, you should be able to develop a plan to help improve the lives of your children and that of your family.

In this role, I realized time and again that parents felt lost, alone, and deserted. They did not understand what was wrong. Why is my child not doing well in school? Why can’t they get along with their children? Or something just feels off, something is not right and they can’t pinpoint the problem. Perhaps their child is doing well in school, but not performing to the best of their ability or choosing the wrong friends.

There are so many questions and concerns, impossible to list here, and so many parents have trouble answering them. Parents think they are alone; they do not know where or how to start. How to manage their expectations and those of their children. They may not know how to work with the school; they don’t know how to access help from the school. They may doubt if their child needs help; they may be afraid of getting help, or they may believe that they don’t need help. They just know that something does not seem right…does not feel right. If you have ever had these doubts, hopefully, this book will shed some light and move you towards action, putting you on the best path for your child to succeed.

My work has provided me with the opportunity to meet many families and understand the many concerns faced by parents and children. I have completed thousands of evaluations and have learned that everyone is uniquely different, but most share similar experiences and concerns. The purpose of this book is to help parents understand why their children are not performing as expected. It aims to answer what a parent can do to help improve child academic performance and overall emotional well-being. It will also provide a brief description of typical difficulties that affect academic performance, including when and how to take action. In addition, there will be a brief review of the department of education and the importance of aligning yourself with them to ensure your child gets the services they need.

Now, let me introduce myself. My name is Angie Rumaldo, PhD, LPMHNP-BC. I am a licensed clinical psychologist and licensed psychiatric nurse practitioner. I am also the mother of two girls with their own challenges and needs. They truly have provided me with a wealth of experience and training that I do not believe any school or training program can teach you.

However, I digress—let’s return to my professional background. I have been practicing as a mental health provider since 2002. I chose this field because it is my passion and desire to help others by providing them with information that will help them lead healthier and more productive lives. I, alongside my team, attempt to definitively improve the lives of those who come to our office, and to help shape them to be the people they want to be. I am fortunate enough to have a growing and expanding practice in New York City. Many of my referrals come from word of mouth; others come from lawyers, schools, medical doctors and pediatricians, and from the Administration of Children Services. My company, True Pursuit Psychological Services, aims to provide professional services in a warm, empathic environment that will enhance the lives of many. In this light, this book is an extension of our services in an attempt to touch and enlighten the many who have not had the opportunity to access help or other services.

How to Use This Book

The book was written for parents and caregivers. However, it can be helpful to many professionals, such as therapists, psychiatrists, primary care providers, lawyers, police officers, corrections officers, child protective service workers, human resources personnel, and mentors. Really, the book will provide insight for any individual who works closely with children, teenagers, and adolescents. Hopefully, the book will help you find the answers you seek about child and teenage behavior.

Parents will find this book helpful if:

They are having a hard time communicating with their child.

They are having a hard time disciplining their child.

They are not sure if something is wrong and just want to make sure it isn’t.

They know something is wrong, but do not know what to do.

They feel alone, scared, and unsure how to manage their child.

They have tried getting help and it has been unsuccessful.

They are receiving help and want to ensure that they are on the right track.

This book does not have to be read from start to finish, although I think you will find it beneficial and overall helpful if you proceed this way. However, I do recommend you read the first three chapters in order. These will provide you with the essential framework of the book. I have also included a checklist of important items after each chapter. The checklists will hopefully reinforce the important topics discussed and provide a handy tool that can be removed from your book and used as a guide to help you get a sense of how far you have come and what remains to be completed. Afterward, you will be able to jump from chapter to chapter according to your needs.

This book aims to educate and empower you to recognize, think, and act in a strategic and targeted way. However, it is not intended to train you to be a clinician. Remember, if you have concerns and need to continue the assessment outside of the home, it is important to trust and search for a well-trained clinician who you feel comfortable with.

How the Book Is Organized

The book begins with Chapter 2, titled, Signs! Signs! Signs! In this section, you will recognize and identify some of the behaviors that are commonly found within children and teenage cohorts. You will learn to identify what is normal behavior and what should be a concern.

Chapter 3 provides an action plan template to help remedy the difficulties that you or the child are facing. In this section, you learn a little more about yourself, your parenting style, and determine the best mode of action.

Chapter 4 goes beyond understanding regular child and adolescent behavior. It links children’s behaviors and potential signs to childhood disorders. It describes childhood and adolescent disorders in depth.

Chapter 5 is titled Should I Take Action? In this section, you reflect upon your needs and those of your child, and on the importance of being actively involved in this confusing and sometimes difficult process.

Chapter 6 discusses the importance of seeking outside support. In this section, we discuss how to access help for your child, utilizing the school and outside professionals in the event that the child requires more interventions. It explores mental health professionals and other professionals, who may be of great support to your family. Some fears of seeking help are explored.

Chapter 7 discusses the 504 plan in depth. This section reviews its purpose, how to set it up for your child, what to expect, and how to prepare for it.

Chapter 8 discusses the IEP Plan in depth. This section reviews its purpose, how to set it up for your child, what to expect, and how to prepare for it.

Chapter 9