Violet Seekers: Spiritual Reflections of Tolbert McCarroll

By Tolbert McCarroll

"Violet Seekers" is an inspiring and uplifting collection of 49 reflections – divided into common seasons in both nature and human experience. Written by Brother Tolbert McCarroll of Northern California's Starcross Monastic Community, this treasure of spiritual reflections will help you navigate life and all of its wonderful adventures.

In 2011, as Brother Tolbert McCarroll turned 80, it was becoming difficult for him to travel to offer help or see friends. Brother Toby's two longtime spiritual companions, Sister Marti Aggeler (1939-2016) and Sister Julian DeRossi (1947- ) suggested that he begin to write a weekly spiritual reflection which would come out on Fridays, so that their large circle of friends would have the weekend to mull them over.

Thus was born the Friday Reflection series. Almost immediately, friends asked that Brother Toby's Reflections be collected published annually in book form. Fast forward to a moment not long ago, when some younger friends introduced the idea of a single book consisting of excerpts from nearly a decade of Friday Reflections. "Violet Seekers" is the result.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 26, 2021
• ISBN: 9780982732991

Book preview

ALSO BY TOLBERT McCARROLL

Three Gifts For Spiritual Wayfarers: Courage, Faith, Doubt (2018)

Stepping Stones: Daily Reflections by an Unconventional Monk (2016)

Seasons: Through the Year with a Contemporary Monastic Family (2010)

A Winter Walk: Transcendent Moments When the Trees are Bare (2006, 2018)

Thinking with the Heart: A Monk and Parent Explores His Spiritual Heritage (2001)

Childsong/Monksong: A Spiritual Journey in the AIDS Pandemic (1994)

Morning Glory Babies: Children Living with AIDS and the Celebration of Life (1988, 1989, 1990)

A Way of the Cross: An Ancient Path in Ordinary Life (1985)

Guiding God’s Children: A Foundation for Spiritual Growth in the Home (1983)

The Tao: The Sacred Way (Edited) (1982, 2018)

Notes from the Song of Life: A Spiritual Companion (1977, 1987, 2011)

Exploring the Inner World: A Guidebook for Growth and Renewal (1974, 1976)

Violet Seekers: Spiritual Reflections of Tolbert McCarroll

Copyright © 2021 by Tolbert McCarroll

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the author or the publisher.

First Edition

Queries about information and permissions should be addressed to Starcross Books, 34500 Annapolis Rd., Annapolis, CA 95412. [e-mail]. www.starcross.org. [phone].

Design by Form & Content (www.formcon.com)

Printed in the United States of America

Cataloging-in-Publication Data

McCarroll, Tolbert (1931-  )

Violet Seekers: Spiritual Reflections of Tolbert McCarroll

ISBN: 978-0-98-2732991-1. Spiritual.

2. Multi-Faith.

3. Personal Growth.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021944065

Dedicated to

my grandchildren

and to all the others

who are our hope

for a better world

Table of Contents

Prologue

Sprouting

Being a Violet Seeker

From Blossoms to Frogs

The Snow on the Quilt

Planting Seeds

Belonging

Ordinary People

Balancing

Go With the Wind

Bugs

Tomatoes

Blooming

Butterflies

Listening to Trees

The Battle for Guavas

Etty’s Blue Flower

Sanctuaries of Peace

Lammastide

Weeds

The Special Breeze at dawn

Goodbye, Dragonfly

Changing

Swallows

Listen to Your Song

A Day in October

The Cathedral of Autumn

Pumpkins

The Autumn Wind

Draw Bamboo

Flies

How Fares My Neighbor?

The Present Moment

Living On

The Hickory Tree

Rejoice in Each Other

Untying Knots

Travel in Peace

Resting

Snowbirds

Something of the Sacred

Cumbrances

Walking Slowly Along

Sudden Showers

Stars Above, Seeds Below

Some Anonymous Mary

Walking in Winter

Sweet Gum Trees

Secret Good Deeds

Owls

Six Million

Step Outside

The Raven

Changing Seasons

With Grateful Thanks

Comments on Tolbert McCarroll’s Writings

Prologue

Once long ago, a poet was on a journey. Matsuo Basho (1644-1694) had climbed high in the mountains hoping to see vast vistas. But instead he glanced at his feet and then wrote:

On the mountain path,

what is this special thing?

A simple violet.

I am a violet-seeker and perhaps you are as well. It is my hope that this book will be of use to you and others who use nature, ordinary daily life, and the ground under our feet as signposts in finding the sacred core of existence. Ten years ago when I turned 80, and when I was beginning to have trouble moving around without assistance, I happily realized that my faith was deeply rooted in searching for the sacred and transcendent in the environment that surrounds me. It is a simple and gentle pilgrimage in which I encounter and am enriched by other violet-seekers with different spiritual heritages and life experiences.

For about 50 years, I have been part of a small, autonomous, contemplative community located in the rural northwestern corner of Sonoma County, California. We raise olives and are a crossroads for people on many spiritual paths — and none.

Like most people, I have preoccupations. Important and worthwhile matters have often made it hard for me to find the violets. As a parent, as an attorney in the struggle for human rights, as one among many humanitarians responding to the AIDS pandemic, as an occasional spiritual reformer, and as a writer, I have often felt lost. Though I have walked on many spiritual paths, there were times when I lost track of any trail for a while.

Now in my nineties, I am firmly convinced that all paths lead to the same place. What is that place, we may ask? Turning to Asia, in The Tao: The Sacred Way, it is written, The Tao that can be spoken is not the ultimate Tao. Medieval Christian mystics often made a distinction between the concept of God and the indescribable source from which it flows, sometimes referred to as The Godhead. I believe the spiritual guides of both East and West are saying the same thing. The place that we long for cannot be put in a box of words or creeds or dogmas; we learn about it as we attempt to live it. We do not capture it with effort. If we are quiet and listening, it comes like a gentle breeze. Have I mastered this process? Definitely not! Nor will I ever. But there are some moments when I feel as if it comes over me. I feel at home — and I am grateful.

In 2011, as I turned 80, it was becoming difficult for me to travel to offer help or see friends. I have been blessed with two longtime spiritual companions, Sister Marti Aggeler (1939-2016) and Sister Julian DeRossi (1947- ). They suggested that I begin to write a weekly spiritual reflection which would come out on Fridays so that our large circle of friends would be able to mull them over on the weekend. Thus was born the Friday Reflection series. Almost immediately, friends asked that they be collected annually in books. This task was too much for us to handle. Later some younger friends introduced the idea of a single book consisting of excerpts from the Friday Reflections. It was a brilliant and much appreciated team that brought forth Violet Seekers! In 2021, Hannah Meshulam took the helm and brought the book into its present form. At the time Hannah was 26 years old and I was 90. It was interesting for me, and I hope for Hannah, to bridge this 64 year generational gap, while being conscious and respectful of each other’s experiences on this planet that is our common home.

There are 49 reflections in this book, divided into common seasons in both nature and human experience: SPROUTING, BLOOMING, CHANGING, and RESTING. You might select a reflection that resonates with you each week, and/or read along with the cycles in nature or your own life experiences. Use these Reflections in any way that might help you on this adventure of humanity in which we are engaged.

I think we are all Violet Seekers. May you find them at your feet when you need them the most — and may they surprise and delight you at many other times along the path.

Tolbert McCarroll

Starcross Monastic Community

Annapolis, California

Being a Violet Seeker

The poet was struggling up the mountain in hopes of seeing grand vistas and contemplating new horizons. But what does he treasure? A simple violet at his feet!

I think all the people reading this are violet-seekers. I know that I am — at least in my better moments. Of course we all have the big story of our life. The one that goes in a resumé or obituary! But then there is what I increasingly feel is the real story: the little violets we have encountered.

Soon, we at Starcross will commemorate the anniversary of our leaving San Francisco and forming a still-evolving monastic community in a remote corner of Sonoma County. Yes, there is the big story known to many of you: the books and media about children with AIDS, international ventures, simple living, spiritual growth, etc. But as each of us here look back over the road we have traveled in the past several decades, the moments we treasure are those little violets. Sometimes it is not a violet but a weed:

In the morning light

the dead weed leaves a shadow

on the wooden step.

Probably the place I feel most at home