Our Life of Service: The Handbook for Catholic Deacons

By Deacon Harold Burke-Sivers

Winner of a 2022 Association of Catholic Publishers Excellence in Publishing Award: Resources for Ministry (Third Place).

Whether you are seasoned from years of ministry or are just getting started living out the vows you made at ordination, this essential handbook will provide the spiritual and practical support you need as a Catholic deacon in the Church today.

In Our Life of Service, international speaker and bestselling author Deacon Harold Burke-Sivers will inspire and uplift you as he and his brother deacons—including Greg Kandra, Larry Oney, Dominic Cerrato, and Thomas J. Fox—share their testimonies and insights about how to serve God with determination, faith, and vision. Burke-Sivers explains the gift of the diaconate as a living image of Christ the Servant in the world, a source of comfort and hope at a time when both are in short supply.

Burke-Sivers explores the daily realities of life to answer important questions about the diaconate such as:

• What does the Church teach about the purpose of this ministry both within the parish and the world?
• How are the three key responsibilities of teaching, sanctifying, and leading entrusted to a deacon at ordination practiced in daily life?
• How does his commitment to his wife help a married deacon balance his duties to his family and ministry?
• What are practical strategies and solutions for the challenges deacons face, especially when conflicts arise within ministry?

 

Burke-Sivers also calls for younger, more diverse groups of men who reflect on the face of the Church to become permanent deacons in order to bridge the gap between the Church and the world and to reach the unchurched.

Each chapter contains questions for reflection, action steps, and prayers to help deacons strengthen their own commitment to their calling. Drawing from the writings of St. John Paul II and other ecclesial writings about the purpose and gift of the permanent diaconate, Burke-Sivers educates and inspires us to more fully appreciate this gift and enriches and encourages those who have themselves answered this call.

Written for deacons in active ministry, Our Life of Service is also inspiring reading for Catholics in the pew who are considering a call or who simply want to understand the purpose and gift of the permanent diaconate.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ave Maria Press
• Release date: Dec 3, 2021
• ISBN: 9781646800933

Book preview

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This book explores the uniqueness of diaconal spirituality, which lies in the deacon’s mystical identification with Christ the Servant. While all are called to serve by virtue of their Baptism, the deacon is called to be an icon of Christ the Servant, and in this respect, he acts in the person of that same Christ who came not to be served but to serve.

Deacon Dominic Cerrato

Executive director of Diaconal Ministries

"Any time Deacon Harold Burke-Sivers speaks, deacons should listen. He is a man of many gifts, not least of all his character and love of the Church. This book is a gift from his heart to the Church and vocation he loves; receive it in love as well. Most particularly I notice how he reverences the noted trait of most deacons’ lives: they are clerics embedded in marriage and family life. Listen to his wisdom here particularly. Our Life of Service flows out of the life of service of one this country’s most gifted deacons."

Deacon James Keating

Professor of spiritual theology at Kenrick-Glennon Seminary

I recommend this book to both those who are discerning a call to diaconal ministry and those who are actively engaged in the ministry. It is a practical and collaborative work, with solid theological foundations and spiritual exercises to help deacons and candidates reflect prayerfully on what it means to be a deacon.

Most Rev. W. Shawn McKnight

Bishop of Jefferson City

"A married man does not discern the diaconate alone. His wife is and should be an integral part of the journey through her support, prayers, and insight. As a deacon’s wife, I highly recommend this book, not only for those men on the diaconate journey but also for their spouses. Whether a man is already an ordained deacon or still in formation, Our Life of Service is an important and thoughtful resource. Deacon Harold Burke-Sivers provides valuable advice that can be practically applied to the everyday life of a deacon, advice from which the deacon, his family, and his ministry will greatly benefit. The handbook will also serve as a timeless tool for formation directors looking to help deacons and their wives continue to grow in their relationship with God and each other as they journey through life as a deacon couple."

Teresa Tomeo

Catholic author, speaker, and syndicated talk show host

"Deacon Harold Burke-Sivers combines his own brand of enthusiasm and passion with insightful wisdom and practical advice in this book for those ordained to the diaconate as well as those considering the humbling and grace-filled call to be configured to Christ the Servant. Our Life of Service is a book you will want to turn to again and again."

Deacon Graham Galloway

The Catholic Telegraph

Imprimatur: Most Reverend Alexander K. Sample, J.C.L.

Archbishop of Portland in Oregon

July 1, 2021

Nihil Obstat: Todd Cooper, MTh

Censor Librorum

June 30, 2021

Unless otherwise noted, scripture quotations are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible—Second Catholic Edition (Ignatius Edition), copyright © 2006 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Psalm texts from The Psalms: A New Translation © The Grail (England) 1963. The complete psalms first published in 1963 by and available through Wm. Collins, Sons & Co., Ltd. in North America through the Paulist Press, Inc. and Collins + World.

____________________________________

© 2021 by Harold Burke-Sivers

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews, without written permission from Ave Maria Press®, Inc., P.O. Box 428, Notre Dame, IN 46556, 1-800-282-1865.

Founded in 1865, Ave Maria Press is a ministry of the United States Province of Holy Cross.

www.avemariapress.com

Paperback: ISBN-13 978-1-64680-092-6

E-book: ISBN-13 978-1-64680-093-3

Cover image © GettyImages.com.

Cover and text design by Christopher D. Tobin.

Printed and bound in the United States of America.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Burke-Sivers, Harold, author.

Title: Our life of service : the handbook for Catholic deacons / Deacon

Harold Burke-Sivers.

Description: Notre Dame, IN : Ave Maria Press, 2021. | Includes

bibliographical references. | Summary: "In Our Life of Service, Deacon

Harold Burke-Sivers urges American Catholics to celebrate the diaconate

as God’s gift to the Church. Compiling testimony from a range of

deacons, Burke-Sivers offers instruction and reflection for this

fast-growing branch of the Catholic clergy"-- Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021032656 (print) | LCCN 2021032657 (ebook) | ISBN

9781646800926 (paperback) | ISBN 9781646800933 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Deacons--Catholic Church. | BISAC: RELIGION / Christianity

/ Catholic | RELIGION / Christian Ministry / Pastoral Resources

Classification: LCC BX1912 .B88155 2021 (print) | LCC BX1912 (ebook) |

DDC 262/.142--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021032656

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021032657

Contents

Introduction

1. Serving the Spiritual Life

2. Serving the Mission and Structure of the Church

3. Serving the Word

4. Serving My Wife

5. Serving My Children

6. Serving the Parish

7. Serving the Wider Community

8. Ongoing Formation in Service

Notes

Resources for Deacons’ Wives

Suggested Preaching Aids

About the Contributors

Author Biography

Introduction

This is at the very heart of the diaconate to which you have been called: to be a servant of the mysteries of Christ and, at one and the same time, to be servant of your brothers and sisters. That these two dimensions are inseparably joined together in one reality shows the important nature of the ministry which is yours by ordination. . . By your ordination you are configured to Christ in his servant role. You are also meant to be living signs of the servanthood of his Church.

—St. John Paul II, The Heart of the Permanent Diaconate

What is a deacon? If you ask the average Catholic in the pew that question, you might hear something like this:

You’re just like a priest except you can’t say Mass and hear confessions, right?

Since you’re not going to be a priest, you’re just a lay deacon.

We have enough priests, so we really don’t need deacons.

We don’t need deacons because laypeople can do almost everything a deacon can do.

How many times have we heard statements like these? Despite the growing numbers of permanent deacons over the last fifty years, there is still little understanding among priests and laity of the role and ministry of deacons.1

The deacon is a minister of evangelization, a permanent and ordained sign and witness of Christ’s ministry of service. Through their service ministry, ordained deacons assist bishops with their responsibility of spreading the Gospel throughout the world, thus enhancing and strengthening the life of the Church. This service ministry models, with integrity and confidence, what it means to live an authentic Christian life.

The Christian life starts in the family, the Eucharist-centered domestic church and the earthly image of God’s Trinitarian life that forms the genesis of society. Through his ministry of service to his family, a husband and father understands that when he loves his family from the depths of his soul with a love that is selfless and pure, he will freely and lovingly sacrifice everything that separates him from them. This is the model of Christ crucified, and the foundational principle for diaconal service that starts in the home and, through ordination, extends to the entire Church.

Family dynamics, however, are fragile. Many of us deacons do not come from intact nuclear families, and bring into our marriages and into ministry the baggage of abuse, divorce, addiction, prejudice, poverty . . . a worldview seen through the lens of our past experiences. After almost thirty years of marriage and close to twenty years in diaconal service, I have learned that the past helps to shape us into the people we are today. And yet our past does not determine our future.

Saying yes to God every day—seeking his face through prayer and the grace of the sacraments and by making intimate union with him the first and most important priority in our lives—frees us from the slavery of fear and opens the door to a life-giving love that supports sacramental marriage and empowers diaconal service. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because he first loved us (1 Jn 4:18–19).

This resolve to live in God’s love through our ministry of service, which honors the promises we made before God at ordination, must be renewed and strengthened daily in order to resist the allurement of sin. In times of trial Satan will try to fill us with lies. At times when priests and laity treat us like glorified altar servers; when we are struggling with a difficult issue in our marriages; or when we are tempted to do what feels good at the expense of our human dignity and self-worth, we sometimes make room for the king of lies to enter our hearts.

As deacons, we must pray and fast so that we will not succumb to frustration, anger, or temptation that leads us into the darkness of sin and despair. The charism we receive in ordination calls us to something higher: Let the deacons, as those who serve the mysteries of Christ and of the Church, abstain from all vice and endeavor to be always pleasing to God, ‘ready for every good work’ for the salvation of men. By reason, therefore, of the order received they must surpass by far all the others in the practice of liturgical life, in the love for prayer, in the divine service, in obedience, in charity, in chastity.2 A deacon’s faithful service to God leads to devoted service to his family and fruitful service for the entire Church.

A Life of Prayerful Service

To fulfill our obligations and respond faithfully to the spiritual demands of diaconal service with the help of sacramental grace, those of us called to this ministry must devoutly practice the disciplines of the spirit in four important areas:

1. Devotion to the Word: Assiduous attention to reading and meditating on the Word of God;

2. Eucharistic lifestyle: Frequent (even daily) participation in the sacrifice of the Mass, reception of the Sacrament of the Most Holy Eucharist, and worship of the Blessed Sacrament in adoration;

3. Purity of heart: A daily examination of conscience and frequent purification of the soul in the Sacrament of Reconciliation; and

4. Filial devotion: Imitation of Christ himself in how we love and honor his own mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of God.3

What does this look like in the everyday lived experience of the deacon? A typical nontravel weekday in my life looks like this:

Morning. Rise at about 5:00 a.m. Before my feet hit the floor, I offer my day to God: Lord, thank you for allowing me to see the light of another day so that I may give honor, praise, and glory to your most holy name. Amen. Then I offer this short ejaculatory prayer three times, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner. I thank the Lord for my wife and family and ask for his help to be the husband and father that I need to be for them, and the deacon he has called me to be for his Church.

I then pray Matins and Lauds (the Office of Readings and Morning Prayer), followed by a time of private devotions that include the Rosary, a reading from the Rule of St. Benedict, and a few short prayers. I check my calendar for the day, work through my email, and update my social media accounts. After checking in with my event coordinator and other members of my management team, I spend the rest of the morning occupied with work that includes homily preparation, media interviews, writing projects, and preparing talks for parish missions, conferences, workshops, retreats, and the like. Once a month, an alarm on my phone reminds me to head over to the Dominican friary for Confession.

Afternoon. I am not as productive in the afternoon, so I temper my work schedule with errands, overseeing the family budget, and managing my responsibilities at the parish. My wife and I check in with each other via phone calls or text messages throughout the day and have lunch together several times a month when we are both free (my wife is a licensed clinical counselor in private practice). I take three breaks in the afternoon: thirty minutes of lectio divina (the practice of prayerfully meditating on the scriptures); praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy (as close to 3:00 p.m. as possible), and a forty-five-minute mental dump when I engage in a recreational activity, usually a short workout or playing guitar. My typical workday ends at about 5:00 p.m.

Evening. Shortly after 5:00 p.m., I pray Vespers (Evening Prayer) and include the psalms from None (Midday Prayer). On Thursdays, I spend an hour in adoration at a local parish and pray the Office at that time. This is followed by dinner and family time. My day ends at approximately 9:30 p.m. with updating my to-do list, checking my calendar for the next day, and praying Compline (Night Prayer), which always ends with a prayer to the Blessed Mother.

Getting to the Heart of Our Mission

The prayer life of the deacon prepares his mind, heart, and soul to carry out his service mission in the Church. "The very way of life that the ordained deacon is supposed to stand for is at the heart of what it means to be human, and . . . what it means to be Christian. . . . The sacrament of Orders in diakonia is the sacrament of the movement from ego to fuller self through care for others, the very dynamism of human and Christian existence! In this way, the diaconate confronts the family of believers and the whole world with a grace-filled sign of the presence of God through a life of service."4

The graces we receive at ordination, in addition to being an invaluable help in accomplishing the various tasks intrinsic to our ministry, form in us a deacon’s heart that compels us to give ourselves entirely to serving the kingdom of God in the Church. As the very word diaconate indicates, what characterizes the interior mind and will of the one who receives the sacrament is the spirit of service. In the diaconate, an effort is made to carry out Jesus’ mission as he himself stated: The Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mt 20:28; also see Mk 10:45).

I am often asked, What is the most rewarding part of being a deacon? The expected response is something like, my travels around the world, or being a Catholic media personality, or even meeting the pope. The truth is I am most fulfilled when I visit longtime parishioners in assisted-living communities, work with the homeless and poor at our parish St. Vincent de Paul conference, counsel married couples in crisis, lead diaconate retreats, give talks to inmates on fatherhood, or visit the homebound.

In his address Deacons Are Configured to Christ the Servant, St. John Paul II says:

Sacramental grace gives deacons the necessary strength to serve the people of God in the diakonia of the liturgy, of the word and of charity, in communion with the bishop and his presbyterate (see CCC 1588). By virtue of the sacrament received, an indelible spiritual character is impressed upon him, which marks the deacon permanently and precisely as a minister of Christ. Consequently, he is no longer a layman nor can he return to the lay state in the strict sense (see CCC 1583). These essential characteristics of his ecclesial vocation must pervade his readiness to give himself to the Church and must be reflected in his outward behavior. The Church expects of

Reviews for Our Life of Service

[GILBERT MICHELINI · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

An excellent introduction to the life of the servant to the servants.