Tribulations of the Heart: An Over the Top Love Story

By Jewel Fedora Shelton

The Hilton girls have a secret. They tell it to no one, not even each other. It pushed them down three separate paths in life developing them into entirely different people. You could hardly tell they were sisters. But the root of their turmoil was the secret each held in her heart. Jacks Hilton is pregnant and married to the wrong man when she meets Gabriel Knight the love of her life. Big Sister, Sam, is a gold digging honey pot. Baby sister, Tony, will not even look at a man for fear of what he might bring. Gabriel must first teach Jacks how to love herself before she can truly love him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 13, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098381080

Book preview

Chapter 1

I built a wall between you and me to protect my heart. I placed a wall between me and anything that would cause me pain. Now, I find myself boxed in with no place to go because of all the barriers I’ve built to protect me. If I could just rise above all of the constraints, I would be free.

EnVogue sings, Free your mind and the rest will follow. Many fools try to do just that with pseudo intellectual philosophical garbage about man being one with the universe or other new age babble to justify their right to do whatever they feel like doing.

But fools don’t want to know what’s real. I want the real deal. I want to fly truly free, but not with drugs or violence or an open relationship. I don’t want to be bothered with hate or envy. I don’t think I need to love every damn body either. I’m not a flower child. I just want to have my own likes and dislikes. I want to be free to be me.

I want to be free, thought Jacks, as she laid in bed this morning, wondering how her life had gotten so complicated by people. She told that fool this wasn’t going to work, but here he was lying right beside her trying to hold on to someone who was not interested in anything about him but his dick. As she looked at him asleep, she thought, ‘at least he does one thing right. Now, how am I going to get rid of a husband?’

She slowly slipped his arm from across her body and quietly walked to the bathroom. As she looked in the mirror, she thought to herself, ’You’re still a beautiful woman.’ Her thick black hair flowed into long fluffy curls down her back. Her almond shaped eyes were light brown with gold specs that glistened while being surrounded by lashes that flashed like butterfly wings as she blinked. Her café au lait skin was smooth as silk over her high cheekbones. A widow’s peak at her hairline started the ascent of beauty down her face, flowing into her straight nose and resting on full lips that looked like they should be kissed. Men saw her as a natural beauty saying to themselves only God could construct a face so flawless as to make you think of the Nile River. Others would wonder if Cleopatra was so radiant when she graced the earth.

Jacks, baby where are you? yelled Mack as he walked into the bathroom. He won’t let me pee in peace she thought as she turned with a smile and kissed his face. I sensed you were gone, he said. You can’t ever leave me baby. I’d miss you too much. He slipped behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his cheek to hers as they both stood naked before the mirror.

He said, Look how good we look together. Jacks and Mack always. She smiled as the thought repulsed her, and said to herself, you just don’t know, do you?

Could you give me a minute, I’d like to freshen up? she said.

Yeah sure, he said as he turned to the toilet and let out a long stream of piss.

‘God Damn it, what did he think I was in here for? Now I’m going to have to wipe his pee off the toilet before I can sit down because you know this nigga can’t pee straight,’ thought Jacks.

He passed by her and ran back to the bed and jumped in saying, Don’t be long. I got something for you. Jacks quickly closed and locked the door, wiped the seat, and flushed the toilet he’d forgotten. As she relieved herself, she thought for the hundredth time, how do I get rid of a husband?

They had been married for seven whole months and it felt like an eternity. She tried to leave him once after he had stayed out drinking with his boys. He came home smelling like cheap perfume and beer. He said it was a bachelor party, and he was too drunk to drive. So, he just passed out on the sofa of his buddy’s house. "You don’t want me to kill myself or someone else by driving drunk, do you?

She had his bags packed, and by the door with a note attached stating, move this to wherever you slept last night. Mack slipped in bed beside her and before she could awake, they were making love and he was talking his way back in. It is hard to leave a man that has a Ph.D. in Fuckology. Being Dr. Dick was Mack’s claim to fame.

Jacks turned on the shower and quietly opened the door to the bedroom to see if Mack had fallen back asleep. He had. She quickly showered and dressed in a pale-yellow suit with a cream silk blouse. She looked stunning. The only makeup required was a little powder, mascara and eyeliner, and a smudge of lipstick. She didn’t have time to change her purse to match her outfit. It was on the chair in bedroom. She wanted to carry the small clutch purse that matched her shoes, but too much movement might wake him up, and he’ll ask me where I’m going. I’ll just grab it off the chair and I’m home free, she thought.

As she was stepping out of the bedroom door Mack asked, Where are you going?

It’s Sunday. Some folks go to church on Sunday mornings you know, she said sarcastically.

Well, pray for me baby and come back home immediately after it’s over. You know the guys are coming over to watch the game, and I’m going to need you to fix um a little somethin’ somethin’. You gon’ bartend, right? Pick up some Shiners, Heinekens, and some cheap wine for that fool Mike’s old lady. She might come with him. He’s really stuck on that fat bitch. She must have pussy as good as yours.

Without saying a word Jacks walked out of the house as fast as she could. Her face flushed red, and her eyes were watering with anger. Fat bitch huh? Pussy as good as mine? Well, he should know since he was fucking her first. Maybe, he’s using Mike as a cover. He wouldn’t really bring a woman into my house that he was screwing?"

Jacks sat in her new cream-colored Escalade with the cream leather interior wondering where she would go. She was beginning to hate everything about her life. This car was too big. She wanted a red sports car, but Mack said they should get a Cadillac because their future children would be safe in it. Besides, you look so good in cream, he would say. I better drive off or that man will be out here with more instructions for me.

She wasn’t a member of any church, and it was already 10:45. The good thing about living in a black neighborhood is there’s a church on every corner. As she drove, she thought I don’t want to go to Greater Mount Bethel. Those people look at you funny when you come in. I don’t want to go to COBF, they don’t shout. Might as well be a white church. It is too late to get a seat at the Potter’s House. I guess I’ll just stop wherever the Spirit leads me. She passed an old small red brick church several miles from her house. The parking lot was full, and cars were parked on both sides of the street. She rolled down her window to see if she could hear the choir. She heard nothing, but she had a feeling this was the place to be. She drove down the street and found a space about two blocks away. The walk will do me good. Maybe I can get some of this anger out of my spirit before I get inside. A big-sister girl type of woman crossed the street dressed in a purple suit with a hot pink satin collar and cuffs. She had on purple and pink fake snakeskin shoes, a large pink wide brim hat, and was carrying a white handbag and bible. Jacks watched the woman as she approached her and thought I guess she had to sneak out of the house too because you know she is wrong for carrying that bag. The woman said, Glory be to God, and how are you this fine mornin’? Come on in Sister, the doors are always open at God’s Little Temple of Faith. Jacks smiled and said, Good morning. She thought, is that the name of this place? As they both turned into the sidewalk of the church, she saw a sign that read, God’s Little Temple of Faith, Senior Pastor Rev. E.B.T. Goodman. Sunday Morning Service 11:00 a.m., Sunday Evening Worship 6:00 p.m. Prayer and Bible Study Every Night and Every Day. A large grin came across Jacks’ face. Jackpot, she thought. This is the place for me. I need prayer every night and every day."

The big-sister girl woman grabbed her by the arm and said, Baby Girl, sit by me and be my guest today. I’m Mrs. Rev. Goodman and I’ll take care of you. My husband is the pastor here and we are so glad to have you join us this mornin’, as she escorted Jacks into the church.

Nothing appeared visibly different or unusual about the church building itself. It had the usual center isle dividing the seating into two sections, which would be the perfect runway for a bride. Lush red carpet covered the floors, raised pulpit, and stairs. Several king-size throne type chairs sat on the stage for the Pastor, the assistant pastors, and the visiting preachers. Speaker podiums stood on each side of the pulpit. Nestled behind the row of preachers was the choir section followed by an opening for the baptismal pool. The room was warm with light from the crystal chandeliers mixed with the light from the sun shining through the stain glass pictures. There were images of Jesus with the children, Jesus with a lamb, Jesus walking across the stormy waters, and other biblical scenes emblazoned on the windows along both sides of the sanctuary. The solid oak pews had red cushioned seats and hard backs.

The only thing that really distinguished the small church from others was the warmth of the people. Everyone had a smile for one another. There were no Hospitality Committee members or ushers present at the doors, but you couldn’t help but feel welcomed. This delighted Jacks because ushers irritated her. She felt they were the church police. She hated how they spent most of their time directing traffic, telling people when they could enter, where to sit and how to act during service. The doors to the sanctuary were wide open at all times.

The congregation was singing, This little light of mine. I’m gonna let it shine. On the back pew sat several little boys. They were all neat and clean in their best Sunday clothes. They wore white shirts, black or navy-blue pants and a variety of different shoes. Some wore athletic shoes. Others had on loafers or dress shoes that lace up the front and are always untied. Sister Goodman stopped and opened her big white handbag and gave each of them a piece of hard candy. She said, Praise the Lord, to the little boys. The boys replied in unison Thank you, Sister Goodman. She grabbed a hold of Jacks’ arm again and walked her down to the front row, passing all of the church members. She smiled and greeted each one as she passed. When she reached the front pew, she motioned for Jacks to pass by her so that she could sit in the first seat on the first row. Jacks, like a child, did as she was told. Sister Goodman started singing with the rest of the congregation. This little light of mine. I’m gonna let it shine, everywhere I go, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. Sister Goodman walked up to one of the podiums on the pulpit.

Jacks almost followed her but stopped when she saw where Sister Goodman was headed. She elected to stand at her seat instead. Sister Goodman said from the podium, Glory be to God. The church said Amen. The next sound out of her mouth was a note of music so full of grace and beauty that it raised the hair on the back of Jacks’ neck. She sang in a deep alto voice, God has smiled on me. He has set me free. Tears welled up in Jacks’ eyes. She had to sit down.

Sister Goodman sang, God has smiled on me. He’s been good to me. A light that guides my path is he, my strength when I would fall. He guides each day for me. God is my all and all. Hallelujah.

The church joined in the second singing of the chorus as Sister Goodman descended from the pulpit to join Jacks on the front row. Jacks wondered how Sister Goodman could have known her thoughts from this morning. Jacks stood up as she approached saying, I want to be free. Sister Goodman said, I know, Baby Girl, as she placed her arms around Jacks and gave her a big hug. They both sat down on the front row of God’s Little Temple of Faith.

Pastor Goodman, a large blue-black bulky man, stepped to the podium. Jacks thought he was a good match for Sister Goodman. He was about her same height and his broad statue made a big woman, like Sister Goodman, appear small and girlish next to him.

Praise the Lord he said.

Praise the Lord, said the congregation.

God is good. Thank you, my sweetness, for that wonderful song. The Lord and I never tire of hearing your sweet voice. Sister Goodman blushed at his praise, and the other members of the church smiled in agreement and nodded their heads yes. Our text for today comes from Matthew 27:45. And it’s entitled ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ God is good, and He is good always. We all have trials and tribulations in our lives. Don’t we?

Amen, said the church.

We all have had moments when we feel God must have forgotten about us. But my bible tells me he said he would never leave me or forsake me. So where is he you might ask? He’s there brethren. He’s right here, Pastor said as he touched his hand over his heart and looked at the faces of his flock, stopping briefly at Jacks.

I know you say my life is not what I expected it to be, he continued, and I can’t seem to find my way. We all want God to come down and take us by the hand. We want him to just lead us around like our mother’s did for us when we were children. Well, I’m here to tell you this morning to Grow Up."

He paused for effect and picked up where he left off. Grow up, I said. His voice bellowed over the congregation shouting, Yes, Lord and Amen Brother. God gave us direction in His words found in the Holy Bible and he gave us the Holy Ghost, the Holy Spirit, to help us out when we can’t find our way. In John 14:16-17 Jesus says, ‘And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another counselor to be with you forever - the spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him, nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.’ God bless the reading of his words.

Continuing his sermon, We cry like little babies when things don’t go our way. Jesus, who was without sin, was nailed to a cross, pierced in his side, insulted and spit upon for you. Pastor raised his hand and pointed to the church. Jacks thought he pointed at her. You ought to be able to stand a little heartache. You ought to be able to stand a little sorrow. Pastor Goodman was wiping his forehead and walking up and down the pulpit. Every now and then he would stomp his foot and say, Glory to God.

Jacks knew what he said was true. She was acting like a child. She had been whining about everything in her life, her husband, her car, the churches in the community, and life in general. ‘What do I have to be upset about?’ she said to herself.

Into every life a little rain must fall, said Pastor. Yes, sometimes it seems like a storm is raging, he said as he raised his hands to heaven and brought them back down across his chest. The lifeboat is coming, and his name is Jesus. Jesus says I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me. Will you accept Christ into your heart? Believe me children. God has not forsaken you. You just need to come home to the Father. Would you take hold of his hand this morning? Would you let God’s comforter, the Holy Spirit, guide you? Pastor extended his hand out toward the church, and said, Here he is. Take hold.

Jacks pushed herself slowly out of her seat, releasing the hold Sister Goodman had on her shoulders, and stepped forward to take hold of Pastor’s hand and Jesus, in God’s Little Temple of Faith that morning.

Chapter 2

Several people joined church that morning and all were escorted into the back rooms of the sanctuary to make the confession of faith. All were given a new bible and instructed to write their names in them immediately. Jacks wrote, ‘This Book Belongs to - Mrs. Jacqueline Elizabeth Hilton-Snare in red ink. Almost everyone was gone from the sanctuary when she emerged as a new creature. Only a few children scampering around the pews were left. She noticed a tall blue-black man standing by the exit door. He was dressed very neatly in an elegant black suit with a starched white shirt. His hair was cut very short, and he was extremely well groomed and very handsome. She thought to herself, as she stared at him, that he must be some relative of Pastor Goodman because they seemed to have a similar carriage, color, and build. A little boy ran by and tripped over his shoelace. Jacks bent down to help him up. She sat him on the pew where she had been sitting earlier and laid down her purse and new bible. Give me your foot, she told the little boy. Let me tie your shoe. These shoes always come untied. Don’t they? He smiled and said, Thank you Miss. As she stood erect, she noticed the man was gone.

Jacks grabbed her purse and as she walked to her car she thought about her new spirit. Things will be different now. Maybe I’m too hard on Mack. I hope he will come with me next Sunday. Jacks hurried home to tell Mack of her newfound religion and church. When she had her house in view, she noticed that it was already 2:30 p.m. Church didn’t seem that long, she thought. Cars were parked in her driveway blocking the entrance to the garage and along the front of the house. The game began at 1:00. She knew Mack would be expecting the beer and wine he told her to bring back. It looked like more people had come over than what was expected. She hadn’t cooked anything, and she knew Mack was going to give her hell to pay for her tardiness. Here I am coming from church, and I have to go to the liquor store. I’m going to have to drive way across town. Just why is this side of town dry anyway? I guess I’ll drive downtown to one of those drive-thru stores because I sure don’t want to be caught dead in a liquor store today. Somebody from church might see me and think I’m not really saved. Maybe, I’ll just run by Wingstop and pick up about 100 chicken wings for these guys.

She had a plan now. As she was about to drive away, the front door of her house opened. Mike’s so-called woman, Mary was coming out the door. She was dressed in a very low-cut sweater and the tightest jeans possible for her big butt to fit and some six-inch-high heel shoes. Mack was handing her what looked like some money. As she turned to walk away Mack hit her on her big behind. She smiled. Turned and hit back at him then kissed him on the lips. Jacks blew her horn, put the car in park, turned off the ignition, got out of it in the middle of the street, and started walking toward the house. Mack broke the kiss and looked in the direction of the sound of the horn. He had a shit-faced grin and the look of surprise on his face.

Baby, what’s the matter? he called out to Jacks.

I don’t have anywhere to park, she yelled back. By this time Mary was switching her way to her car parked in the driveway. Girl, I was about to go. I’m movin’ my car. Is this all you want Mack, honey? she said.

Why don’t you have her bring you some chicken or something too? said Jacks, as she walked back to her car. Mack walked out to Mary in the drive and gave her some more money. I’ll be back in a flash, she said as she pulled out of the drive.

Mack stood on the sidewalk waiting for Jacks to pull into the drive. Jacks drove right on by the house. She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew home was the wrong place to be at this time.

That man could make the Pope lose his religion. How could he be attracted to such a trashy woman? Jacks could feel in her heart that what she had suspected was true. Mack was being unfaithful to her with that whore, Mary. That kiss was just a little too long, and they were entirely too familiar with one another. How could she have been so blind? How long had it been going on? Seven months of marriage and he was still acting like a single man.

Mack was a retired Football player. He had played in the Canadian leagues, so he wasn’t famous in the states. Now, he was supposedly a PR man for a sports agency. In reality, he was just their party boy. It was his job to entertain the prospective clients and get them associated with the firm. He had the hook-up. Tickets to all the games and concerts, invites to all the parties, and a contact list filled with the names of all the honeys in town to impress any young college boy or potential player.

Jacks was overwhelmed by his glamour and glitz when she met him at a party, she and her girls attended at his house in Red Bird Hills on the south side of Dallas. This man has it all, she thought back then, house, money, and good looks!

She was a star in her own right, but since she had no career to speak of, working behind the precious jewels counter of a very prestigious store, she thought he was a blessing. Her commissions were good, but she would never be able to afford that kind of lifestyle, she thought. Later she found out the house belonged to the firm, as did the Mercedes he drove. But Mack could talk-the-talk and walk-the-walk of a professional brother. He had the finest body of any man she had ever seen. Her girlfriends and all the other women at the party were fighting to get in his face all night long. Because he paid them no attention and had both eyes on her, she felt special.

He escorted her around the party and introduced her to his buddies. They would step back and look at her lustfully saying, Man, she is beautiful. Where did you find her?

"She’s mine. All