The Peach-Blonde Bomber: A Zach Johnson Mystery Short

By John Zakour and Lawrence Ganem

A prequel novella in the “humorous retro sci-fi/noir detective series” that began with The Plutonium Blonde (TV Tropes).

Zachary Nixon Johnson and his super-computer sidekick, HARV, are back in action in this rollicking Nuclear Bombshell mystery short from Zach’s early career.

A mad bomber has begun destroying the wind-turbines of energy producer Big Blow Inc., and Zach is hired to track down this elusive eco-terrorist. Unfortunately, all the evidence points toward the bomber being the troubled granddaughter of the company’s owner. Zach’s never been much of an explosives expert or family therapist, but it’s now his job is to catch the culprit, save the company, heal a troubled family, and trickiest of all, keep himself alive.

Praise for the Nuclear Bombshell mysteries

“A wild and crazy adventure that blends noir detective fiction and far-out future SF to create a tongue-in-cheek, thoroughly enjoyable story.” —SF Site

“Surprisingly clever . . . spoofs the genre and everything else in sight.” —Science Fiction Chronicle

“Abbott and Costello meet a futuristic crime noir . . . readers will laugh until they cry.” —AllReaders.com

“A fun romp through cyberspace and the future Earth . . . I enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek look at the future of private investigation.” —MyShelf.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: May 22, 2018
• ISBN: 9781625673138

Book preview

The Peach-Blonde Bomber

The late night sky above the city was clear with a sultry breeze coming in from the New Frisco bay. The stars were out in the pre-dawn sky, their cool white lights only somewhat muted by the neon and halogen glare of the city itself. Yes, a lovely night all around…

Unless of course, you were careening through a windmill forest in a speeding hovercraft at ninety kilometers per hour racing toward a wind turbine eighty meters in the air. That kind of thing sort of kills the mood pretty quickly.

Can you please at least try to keep this thing steady, HARV?

We’re not doing this in a vacuum, boss. I can’t control the wind-currents coming in from the bay, and I’m not the one that brought the high pressure front in from the Northwest. I’m also not the one who over-ruled my suggestion of retro-fitting this hover with military grade stabilizers.

Yeah, I’m regretting that a little now. Look out!

HARV banked the hover hard to the right to avoid an oncoming laser blast and then spun the craft up and over as we sped past the body of a massive windmill tree. My stomach sort of went up and over as well, if you know what I mean, and I had to choke back what I think was part of my lunch.

At least ease up on the barrel-rolls, I said.

Aileron rolls.

What?

The aerial maneuver of a full 360 degree revolution around the craft’s horizontal axis while maintaining an uninterrupted horizontal path is called an aileron roll. A barrel roll is a maneuver that takes the craft in a helical or corkscrew path along the line of direction. It’s a common mistake made by those unfamiliar with aerial combat.

Frankly, I’m not appreciating the difference at the nano.

I didn’t think you would. But I’m incapable of ignoring such an obvious erroneous reference.

Of course you are. I grumbled.

Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself here, I know. But stories like this are won or lost with the opening hook, so I had to make that first bit worth the price of admission. Hopefully I have your attention now so let me back up a little and fill in the backstory. My name is Zachary Nixon Johnson and I am the last private eye on earth. That’s an interesting title, I know and I’m sorry to say that I can’t take the time right now to explain it all to you. So you’ll just have to take my word for it so we can move things along.

The year is 2056 and I consider the human species to be currently going through its gawky adolescent phase. We’re smart, developing, and on the verge of maturing into something brilliant. Unfortunately for us we’re still clumsy, irresponsible and driven more by our hormones than our common sense.

My home turf is the city of New Frisco. It is a city full of wonder and spectacle, an art-deco themed real-life metaphor for the world itself. Gloriously sculpted skyscrapers and air-highways define the skyline while pockets of crime, corruption and the rest of society’s ills lay unseen in the shadows. Yeah, we have our share of humankind’s dark elements. That stuff never completely goes away. But I guess I shouldn’t complain. That’s what keeps me in business after all. People always have problems that need solving and when the problem is complicated, dangerous, bizarre or any combination of the three well, that’s when they call me.

This particular day began simple enough. I took a meeting at the home offices of an alternative energy company called Big Blow, Inc. They specialized in, you guessed it, windmill technology and wind power. Lately they’d been having troubles with cats in their trees. That’s slang of course. In the vernacular of 2056, the phrase cat in a tree refers to an energy thief staging

Reviews for The Peach-Blonde Bomber

[Jay Hunter · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

always a fun read. I am a big fan of the hardboiled detective genre