Wolf Girl

By Beth Lauzier

The last time Brenda had seen Devan he was running away, tail tucked and bloody, while she was being loaded into an ambulance. Years passed since that night, and now that she's found her childhood best friend, she's demanding answers to the questions surrounding that night. More is at risk than a secret that Devan shares with half the town. People are being stalked and others show signs of Moon Sickness.

 

Now isn't the time for a "normie" to get involved in pack business. Veiled warnings aren't going to stop Brenda from finding out the truth. She's found her family again and she's not letting go. Consequences be damned.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Seriously Awesome Books
• Release date: Sep 18, 2021
• ISBN: 9781734784299

Beth Lauzier

Beth Lauzier is an author of YA fantasy, He Loves Me is the first in the I Wish series of magic-realism. When not writing or reading, you might find her trying to convince the local bird population to rise up and do her bidding. A resident of Longview Texas, Beth Lauzier lives with her family and generally avoids the outside world because books are better and it's too people-y out there.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Moving to a new school wasn’t a bad thing per se. I could deal with new teachers, learning how to get around a new town, and I mean, who didn’t like trying new places to eat? What stressed me out was all the people who had to stare.

There you are. Sorry for not meeting you at class. I had to speak with Mister Saul about extra credit work. Ava leaned on the lockers next to me, hugging her books, and smiled like it was the best day ever. The girl was short with pin-straight black hair to mid-back, and I figured the only reason we were talking was that she drew the short straw and had to show the new girl around.

Well, with my handy dandy school map, I found my way just fine. I grinned to lessen the bite of words and tucked a loose strand of copper hair behind an ear. This morning it had been in a perfect messy bun, but after the first half of the school day, it probably looked like a rat’s nest.

I’m honestly surprised the city girl can even read a map. The snark dripping from that comment was probably meant as a joke, but it pissed me off. I knew as soon as I walked in the school door that morning they pegged me for the girly, can’t-do-anything city girl. And the name-brand clothes and flawless makeup didn’t help discredit that stereotype.

Guess I’m just full of surprises, huh. Forcing a smile that verged on a sneer, I shut the locker a little too hard, which drew the eyes of those closest. They stopped to stare, and I saw how they all scanned my face. I wanted to shrink away and hide, but Dad didn’t raise a wuss, so I adjusted my bag and, with my head held high, walked toward the lunchroom.

The mess hall is this way. Ava tugged on my backpack, and I turned to follow her through the crowd. Let me see your schedule. Handing it over without comment, I made a point to look everyone in the eyes as we walked by. Some outright stared, while others tried to be more subtle about it. Honestly, it was like they’d never seen someone with a facial birthmark before.

Ava pulled the mess hall door open and waved me inside. Just like the other parts of the school, the lunchroom looked old. The walls were an off-yellow that may have once been white, but what did me in was the posters from the’80s reminding kids to drink their milk and that doing drugs was uncool.

So Miss Cindy is a sucker for colorful word choice, but don’t overdo it. Ava handed back my class schedule and picked up a lunch tray. Never, and I mean never use anything from Webster for Mr. Brown’s class. If it’s even similar, he’ll mark you down a full grade point. I listened, taking everything she said with a grain of salt. For all I knew, she was trying to trip me up, but even as I thought that, it felt wrong. I like to think I’m a good judge of character, and even with her snarky comments; she seemed like a good person. Or at least someone the new girl at school could trust.

What about Saul Thomson? I got him for Math and Chemistry? While Ava fished through her bag for something, I handed over my lunch card for the cafeteria worker to scan.

Dropping the card back in my bag, I noticed Ava’s demeanor had changed. She handed the lunch lady a pale-yellow piece of paper then nodded for me to walk.

Unsure what was up, I followed her lead to a table near the far end of the room. Most of the tables appeared to be at least thirty years old and had little to no paint left on them. The brown metal chairs didn’t look much better, but I reminded myself not to judge things too harshly. I was going to be here a few years and needed to make the best of it after all.

Look, I’m not sure how to say this, so I’m just going to tell you flat out. Saul Thomson is kind of a creep. Not like he’s going to touch you inappropriately. It’s more like he doesn’t understand social cues. If that makes sense. Ava scrunched her nose like she smelled something foul then redirected her attention to the food on her tray.

What like he’s autistic or something? I’d been around a few autistics and special needs people in rehab. They never bothered me, and most were great people if you took the time to get to know them.

No, not like that. Sighing, she unwrapped plastic ware and unfolded the too thin napkin. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just crazy or something. Ignore me. I recognized she was doubting her gut instincts and was going to call her out on it when others joined us.

They flashed a polite smile, then ignored me and started to talk with Ava. That was fine by me, though. I did, however, pull out my phone and make a note to ask about Thomson again. While I’d yet to meet this teacher, I knew you never ignore a gut feeling.

Surveying the room, I tried to pick out others I had classes with. I caught a few giving me the side-eye, so I stared them down. Dang, I thought small towns were supposed to be welcoming.

Then a familiar laugh brought my caffeine-deprived train of thought to a screeching halt. It was like a blast from the past, a past filled with movie nights and playdates. A past of horror and secrets.

I searched through the sea of people and spotted a chocolate brown head I knew just as well as my own. He was seated talking with a group of guys from the football team. They joked around without a care in the world while I drowned in a sea of memories better left in the dark back corner of my mind.

He’d changed so much since the last time I’d seen him. Devan had filled out becoming noticeably more muscular, and judging by the number of girls at his table, I surmised he finally learned how to talk to the opposite sex.

A girl with long chocolate hair in a ponytail leaned in close and whispered something to Devan. He laughed, and my palms started to ich. My skin felt prickly, almost too tight and constricting. Knowing a panic attack was coming, I stood quickly and banged my knee on the table. Sharp pain bit into my knee and ramped everything up by a hundred.  

The vague sound of Ava’s voice made it through the panicked fog, but it wasn’t enough to stop me from rushing toward the door. Outside air was good. Outside air was fresh and clean. Not like the stale air inside that was boxed in this building all day.  

It was an extreme effort not to slam into the door and throw it open. As much as I wanted to speak to Devan, I didn’t want him to see me like this. A limping mess who panicked at the first sign of past trauma.

Rounding the building, I slid down the wall and tried to pull in air. It felt like no matter how much I got in; it wasn’t enough. My stomach began to cramp as I wrapped both arms around myself. Closing my eyes, I tried to block the past out and focus on breathing.

But the knee pain made it hard because one thought led to another. Then it all came back to me, and I was on the ground with the largest wolf I’d ever seen looming over me.

Shaking my head, I tossed that thought back in the dark corner where it belonged and did as my therapist instructed. Breathe in for five and then exhale for five. I’d given him such a hard time about the breathing thing. For the longest time, I’d done it wrong on purpose, arguing it would be so much easier to get over an attack with drugs. But as my breathing and heart rate evened out, I was glad he’d refused and made me do without.

Pulling my phone out, I opened the note app and wrote down what happened. Keeping track of triggers had helped cut down on attacks a lot. I was now down to about three a month.

Tears blurred the screen as I typed out the memory, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me from speaking to Devan. There were things I needed to know, and I got a gut feeling he was the only one who knew the answer.

While I hadn’t heard a bell, I knew it was getting close to class time. Blowing out a large breath, I shimmied up the wall while my knee protested the movement. I didn’t want to go back into the mess hall and face everyone staring at me, so I rounded the building and headed for the front door.

I’d only gone thirty yards when a small group stepped out of the tree line. The four guys looked like a goth band cliché and smelled like they’d bathed in Febreze. Like somehow, that would cover up the sour smell of weed coming off them.

I kept walking and doing a good job at not making eye contact and minding my own business. We could just pretend like there was nothing to see here, but of course, nothing was going to be easy today.

Uh, what’s on your face? The guy who spoke was shorter than the others but had the same dirty look about him. Like if I took a white glove to his forehead, it’d come away greasy.  

Stopping, I tilted my face to the sky like I was praying to the gods for patience, then gave them the most long-suffering sigh I could muster. Turning in a tight military turn, I faced them and let them have a good look. You could only take things for so long before they boiled over and someone got chewed a new one.

It’s called Congenital Melanocytic Nevus, I stared right back at them like they were the dumb ones and dropped some more fun facts. Let me break it down for you because it looks like you’re a slow one. It’s a large birthmark. I said it slowly, like I was talking to a toddler. Of course, there was no telling how much brain damage these guys had given the fact they did drugs.

Huh, it kind of looks like a wolf. They all turned their heads to the side at the same time and stared like I was some kind of lab experiment gone wrong. Realizing I was outside with tweakers, my heart rate kicked up again.

Yeah, it kind of does. I did a weird finger-gun thing as I backed up to get away from them. Mercifully, the bell rang, so I took that as my chance to run.

Admittedly I could have spent an hour and covered my whole face in make-up, but it was a part of me, so why hide it? I wasn’t ashamed to have a birthmark the size of a half dollar in the middle of my cheek. I’ve always thought it looked cool. It made me special in a way other kids just weren’t.

Rushing inside, I had to rely on memory to get to my next class. Even though the school was small, it was three stories tall, and I had classes on every one of them.

The hall was partially deserted, and while I really didn’t care about being on time to class, the loss of my backpack annoyed me. I briefly thought about going back to the mess hall but scrapped that idea when teachers started closing classroom doors.

Groaning, I jogged to the stairwell and doubled timed it to what I assumed was my next class. Maybe they’d have mercy on me for being unprepared, and I’d just get a stern talking to.

Either way, it didn’t matter. I was going to spend the next four classes trying to figure out how to approach Devan and get the answers I needed.

Chapter 2

Ava was a lifesaver. Not only did she go above and beyond by taking my backpack to the next class. She discreetly let the teacher know I was having girl issues and might be late.

Miss Cindy was more than understanding and even handed me a few mini chocolate bars on the way out of class. The extra sugar helped tremendously with the adrenalin and sugar drop I’d always felt after an attack.  

Over the last few classes, I made a point to look for Devan, but it seemed I didn’t share any with him. That was probably for the best since I still hadn’t figured out what to say to him. I did know it involved a raised voice and a lot of swear words.

The last bell rang, and I watched others gather their stuff as fast as humanly possible and race out the door. And while I was in a hurry, I almost didn’t want to get up. I read somewhere that the truth doesn’t always set you free. Sometimes it binds you to that truth until that’s all you know, and it consumes you.

But I also knew I could never get on with my life if I was always looking in the past and wondering. So I stood and gathered my bag and headed for the door with a determined stride.

Brenda, would you hang back for a second? Stopping, I faced the teacher, and as the last student walked past, she glanced back with something like concern.

Mr. Saul sat at his cluttered desk and wrote something down, then stood and approached me. In a white-striped, button-down shirt and black slacks, the guy wouldn’t give you the creeps if you walked by him in the store. But being the center of his attention and in a room alone, the things Ava said crawled back to me.

I just wanted to welcome you to DeepCrest and let you know if you need anything to let me know. Placing a hand on my shoulder, Mr. Saul was a little too close for comfort. And while I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, his examination of my face was unnerving.

Thank you. Everyone here has been so kind, While that wasn’t an outright lie, it wasn’t like I was going to snitch and let the staff know people had ostracized me all day. I’m actually going to meet up with a few for coffee, and I don’t want to be late. Not waiting for his reply, I shrugged off his hand and tried to rush to the door without looking like I was rushing.

Jogging down the stairs, I went for my locker to grab books and then plan’find Devan’ was a go. While others had been listening to the teachers, I’d been writing down everything I wanted to tell him. They were long and mostly rant-like but once the rant was out of my head, the right questions surfaced.

I had to try the lock combo three times before the stupid thing popped open. I blamed the shaky hands. Anxiety sat heavy in my gut as I put books in the backpack. A lot had changed in two years. What if Devan didn’t want to see me, let alone speak to me.

Ava wandered over and leaned on the lockers playing with her phone. I spun the combo lock just as Devan and the football guys came into view. I casually glanced over at them as they gave out fist-bumps and back-slaps and tried to build back up all the nerve I had earlier in class.

Good luck, girl. Those guys are hard to pin down. Ava grinned at my confusion before waving me off. I won’t keep ya, but if you need anything, let me know. She smiled and waved again before turning and disappearing into the crowd of people heading home.

Adjusting my backpack, I dismissed her and rushed after Devan before I could wuss out. I cut through a group of girls, and they huffed their outrage. I turned around and walked backward, mouthing a passing apology. But any reply was cut short once they caught a look at my face. Let them have a good look then. I bared my teeth in a vicious sneer before continuing my pursuit.

Words of disgust followed me, but I didn’t pay them any mind. They probably got their idea of what beauty was by reading magazines or listening to what other people said instead of using their brain. Me and my birthmark were fabulous and curse anyone who said differently.

Some guys hollered at my target, and he turned to greet them. They gave out back-slaps and did normal guy posturing as I pulled out my phone and pretended not to be a stalker. I tried to listen to the conversations, but the hallway was too loud, and I was too far away.

But from the few things I could pick up, it sounded like plans for some type of party. While I’d never been a party girl in the city, I had to admit, if small-town parties were like what you see in the movies, they might be fun.

Sorry, but I need there. Snapping out of spy mode, I moved aside with a soft apology letting the short guy with glasses in his locker. When I glanced back, my target was on the move and nearly out the door. Cursing, I rushed through the crowd of thinning students and caught the door before it swung shut.

The student parking lot was only half empty, and as Devan made his way to whatever vehicle was his, I closed the gap between us. At ten feet away, emotions and tunnel vision kicked in, and I pulled off my backpack, ready to swing when I got in range.

There was no softening the crunch of loose gravel under foot, so I jogged on the balls of my feet the last few yards. I only had one shot at this. As Devan turned to face whoever dared sneak up on him, I swung the bag at his head as hard as I could.

He ducked and evaded the bag easily, but I caught his shoulder, and that was good enough. Seemingly stunned to see me, he did a great impression of a fish and just stared like he couldn’t believe I was really there.

Nothing to say for yourself? My words were harsh and spoken through gritted teeth. If he didn’t know how mad I was from the bag swing, he could probably guess now.

Sputtering, he continued to stare, so I dropped the bag and shoved him as tears blurred my vision. The violent outburst caught him off guard, and I took the chance as he stepped back, trying to regain his balance.

Leaping at him, I wrapped both arms around his neck and gave the tightest hug I could. After a split second, he returned the hug and then tightened his hold when my shoulders started shaking. I had my best friend back, and for the first time in two years, I could finally get some real answers.

Not wanting to make more of a scene, Devan helped me into the passenger side of a truck. He grabbed my bag, slung it inside the back seat, then climbed behind the wheel.

You have a lot of explaining to do, just so ya know. Sniffing, I dug through the glove box and found a few fast-food napkins.

Pulling out of the school parking lot, Devan didn’t say anything but kept up a steady anxious tapping