Uncle Walter's 100 Beloved Horror Stories

By Walt Chepulis

Read one hundred tantalizing tales of rude, rough and reckless men and women who fight the wars of poverty and forced terror from neighborhood bullies to achieve acclaimed championship.
With pistols, knives, guns or grenades or the hidden prayers from this special book that can change this entire world!
You decide! - Which urban masterpiece?
But! - Dont wait till your clock stops ticking.
A no - Can get you killed - Capische?

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 2, 2015
• ISBN: 9781496965097

Walt Chepulis

Walt Chepulis was born February 05, 1944. He has a bachelor of science degree in communications and is currently married for twenty-seven years to an extraordinary Latina. Walt Chepulis is currently retired.

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© 2015 Walt Chepulis. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 01/30/2015

ISBN: 978-1-4969-6508-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-6509-7 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them

Uncle Walters Table of Horrors & 100 Urban Myths

1 —   A Naked Ending

2 —   The Sacredness of Dog Food

3 —   Long legged Trombone Sally

4 —   The Death of an Earthquake

5 —   Hyper-Modern & Hyper-Dark

6 —   From Whence It Came

7 —   Billionaire Playmate

8 —   Hook and Disconnect

9 —   A Geriatric Who-Done-lt?

10 —   Trembling Whiskey

11 —   The Run- A- Way Raincoat

12 —   Awash In Love

13 —   Shhhhhhh!

14 —   The 2 Husbands

15 —   The Fruits of a Bad Arrest

16 —   A Cutting Edge Prophet

17 —   A Night in the Wisconsin Woods

18 —   Following a Different Physics

19 —   Dipped In Dirt

20 —   Amazon River Game Room

21 —   Patsy-The Midnight Collector

22 —   The Night Begins In One Minute

23 —   Junk Yard Jackson

24 —   A Child’s Introduction to Black Magic

25 —   Born In the After-Life

The Spirits of Horror Present

26 —   My Christmas Cowboy

27 —   I Need a Smoke Bad

28 —   The Legend of Sancto Borracho

29 —   When God Found You

30 —   Carrying a Lightning Rod and a Bible

31 —   Special Delivery from God

32 —   A Smiley Faced Twanger

33 —   The Un-Ridden Beast

34 —   Deep – Deep - Deep & Damned

35 —   Sun-Kissed Hombre

36 —   Sending In 1 Million Angels

37 —   The Smells of A Million Dollar Curse

38 —   The Red-Eye Express from L.A.

39 —   The Ghosts of Condominium #21

40 —   Looking For a Ghost

41 —   A Twinkle before Bedtime

42 —   A Meeting with a 6 Year Old Boy

43 —   Blood Swagger

44 —   Tortured In the Second Grade

45 —   The Down-Winders - Outer Space Spiral Dinosaur Ghosts

46 —   Oh! My! God!

47 —   I am Magic

48 —   The Odd Twad Tree

49 —   When Luck Walks Up To Your front door

50 —   Fate of the Devil Bearers

Dip Into Our Sea Of Horrors

51 —   The Day They Invented Eternity

52 —   A Crazed Arkansas Night

53 —   The Prayer Channel

54 —   Death Nap

55 —   Lemon-Breath & Patch

56 —   The Screaming Herds

57 —   Stepping Off Into a Time Warp

58 —   Grave-Yard Games

59 —   The Broom-Stick Wars

60 —   Big Green Russian Capital Letters

61 —   Killing off a Bad Monday

62 —   The Brute Force Mother Earth Winds

63 —   You Can’t Destroy Me

64 —   Dang It! - I Need My Nap

65 —   A Siberian Christmas Prison Break

66 —   Mr. Abominable

67 —   Professor of Silence

68 —   The Match-Stick Cross Firefight

69 —   The Quill box

70 —   The Invisible M.P.H.

71 —   The Pain Express

72 —   With Poison in Her Heart

73 —   Waking Up Raw

74 —   Thick-Fist

75 —   You’re Lucky

The Ghost OF John W. Horror Lives Here

76 —   That Monday Chill

77 —   I Wish

78 —   The Rat That Lost its Way

79 —   A Private Criminal History Expose

80 —   The Collapse of Grand Central Station

81 —   Meghan -14 Year Old Peacekeeper

82 —   The Woosoo Tribe Revolt

83 —   The White Snowflake

84 —   I Am So Proud Of My Ass

85 —   The Funny Pages

86 —   Hello Little Bastard

87 —   Hunting For a Home Run

88 —   Water Proof Mama

89 —   6 Bullets from a Star Struck Lover

90 —   Sanctuary on Fire

91 —   Hey! - You Got My Money?

92 —   Snake-Bit

93 —   Murdered By an 18 Kt.Scarf

94 —   Puncture Proof Victory

95 —   Thompson & Lilly

96 —   A Baby-Boot Camp

97 —   Carrying a Wire

98 —   Sober As a Snake

99 —   Spirit Stallion’s Vengeance

100 —   Johnny Liar

TO MY READERS

INSIDE THE CORRIDORS OF EVIL AND HATE ARE 100 LOCKED AND BOLTED DOORS! AND EACH DOOR OPENS TO AN ORIGINAL AND HELL BREWED *HORROR STORY* SO! ENJOY THE RAZOR SHARP DEATH PLUNGE FOR THE GUILLOTINE IS AT THE VERY NEXT EXIT! AND! IF YOU DO PROP IT OPEN BE VERY PLEASED! – HA HA HA – BUT! - BE VERY VERY CAREFUL! REMEMBER! - BEFORE YOU OPEN UP THIS CUTTING EDGE BOOK. HAVE A VERY MERRY NERVOUS BREAKDOWN! – BUT! - DON’T STUMBLE! – FOR! – YOUR FINAL WALK IS VERY VERY VERY JAGGED! - AND! - DON’T YOU DARE LOOK BACK! – FOR YOU MUST REMEMBER! YOUR ANCESTORS DO KNOW YOUR NAME! - AND THEY DON’T FORGIVE!

And In an acknowledgment of the horrors of preparing this blood-letting letter

THIS BOOK OF HORROR DRAMAS IS DEDICATED TOTHOSE THOUSANDS OF COUNTLESS SEEKERS OF A DEEP, DEEP THRILL RIDE! - FOR! - THIS WRITTEN PLUNGE INTO FRIGHT THAT COMES FROM AN UNNATURAL DIP INTO OUR WORLD OF HIDDEN PUZZLES AND IMPOSSIBILITIES! – AND WHAT YOU HAVE WISHED FOR WILL CLIMAX YOUR MIND OVER THE NEXT 253 PAGES – SO! - ENJOY! ENJOY! - AND! - DO NOT RIP THESE PAGES OUT TO CARRY INTO YOUR FUTURE - BUT! - GIVE THIS BOOK TO A FRIEND - AND! - TO ALL OF YOUR ENEMIES AND THEY WILL SEE YOUR ENVIABLE VISION OF THE FUTURE! – AND!

THANK YOU!

FOR FUTURE BOOK TITLES OR THE UPCOMING MOVIE RIGHTS - E-MAIL YOUR QUESTIONS OR REQUESTS TO THIS HORROR BOOK AUTHOR AT:

[e-mail] - AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR APPRECIATIVE AND WELCOMING COMMENTS!

ALSO! - THE CONTRIBUTORS WHO INFLUENCED THE DEEP INNER JOY OF THESE CLIMACTIC EPISODES WERE:

WIFE - MARIA CHEPULIS (GRAMMAR EDITOR)

DAUGHTER – YASMIN DE JESUS (CONCEPT AND CRISIS MGMT)

EDITOR – LINDA GROUSTRA (ORIGINAL THEMES)

EDITOR – GERRY SHORES (HANDLED ALL SLIPPERY FELONIES)

Urban Myths #1

A Naked Ending

By Walt Chepulis

In a northern part of New York State - In a rich rural valley where many dwellers here reside on 20 to 29 acre spreads of rolling hillside. And! - Many of these parcels of land are enclosed by stretches of logged fencing, a poker game was being held at one of the chief gathering points. And! - A lot of money exchanged hands that evening and several of these card players witnessing their striking losses did drink their troubles away.

Sub Chapter:

It was also snowing in cattle size gusts and blizzard status was about to be reached.

But! - At 2:45 A.M.—the party goers decided to break up for fear of being stranded. And! - Dan Blessing —Pissed off at his losses gave many hugs to his comrades and their wives. And! - As he stumbled out of the front double-steel doors and yelled! — Nobody is going to take away all my money.

Then he drove home in his huge Cadillac. But! - The road was bumpy and hellaciously curved because of his insane attitude over his losses. And smashing through the closed log fence of his 4,000 square foot house the motion sensitive spotlights came on. So! - He stopped just before ramming through the structure of his house.

Now! - Pissed! - And crawling through his own heavy front door, he was so happy to see the warm entry-way - which he briskly happily fell on the carpeted marble hall walk-way and passed out. And! His wife Amy and her sister Beatrice hearing this ruckus came down the spiral stairs. And saw the drunken husband snoring very loudly.

They giggled equally loudly & made a deal very quietly and took off all of his clothes & examined his wallet. Added up the $8,000 in hundred dollar bills & split it between the 2 of them. And! - Blew out the fireplace fire and left his naked body to sober up.

At 7 A.M. - Dan Blessing, shaking with alcoholic cold, snorted awake. And shivering with cold, suddenly realized he was naked. And! - Incredibly dumbstruck by this, he screamed to the 2 women in the cavernous house to aid him.

The 2 women - Acting like they knew nothing screamed at the horror of his in-house nakedness. And Amy ran for a towel to put around him. And! - Beatrice -The sister - Masked her knowledge by looking in disbelief.

Where is my clothing? – I just don’t believe this.

Daniel! - Don’t you remember? -This is how you came home. So! - Where did you take off your clothing? - I don’t remember. And Daniel never asked about the $8,000 in cash.

Then! - The ladies split the loot and burned his alcohol soaked clothing & he never drank again.

Sub Chapter:

Ring! - Ring! - Ring! 8:45 A.M. And Amy answered the stained glass door.

Preacher Wilkes!

May I come in? - Certainly.

I brought your husband a present. A bible? - She said - No!

Remember! - Daniel does not believe in God. And! - Then! - He rolled out a stack of $6,000 cash in 100’s.

Her eyes buzzed.

Ma’am! - I know he is not a lover of the Lord. But! - In total honest sportsmanship, I cannot accept this money.

But! - You beat him–Fairly and honestly.

And! – Suddenly! - Screams from above! - Who the hell is at our door!

You come to thrash me again?

Sir! - When you find a moment for civility, your wife will explain.

Good-day Madam - And he drove off on his 2-wheeled black 10-speed bicycle.

Daniel! -You are nasty.

That bible toting card shark will never come to this house again.

Daniel!-Stop!-No!

Shut your woman’s mouth!

No preacher is going to steal my money!

And the door was slammed!

Then Amy took an empty Jim Beam bottle - Rinsed it, and filled it full of the stack of 100’s. And laid it on Daniel’s computer desk and went to her prayer room.

It was a cold day in Hell for this house as the master poker wizard of the valley had been beaten by the newly ordained preacher. And! - He - Daniel - After throwing off his alcoholic strait-jacket came stammering down the stair- case curvature–And screamed!

I got bills to pay! - See you at lunch. And! - She waved in acceptance and they separated.

And! - Upon unlocking his sanded mahogany office door he entered and found the filled whiskey bottle. And! - In disbelief! - And cursing super-slowly.

Amy! -Yes Daniel! - Is this a joke?

Open it! - And a pile of 100’s fell out smelling of whiskey.

These are the bills I used last night.

What the!

The preacher brought your losses back–For - He - In good conscience - Knew you were drunk. And! Daniel started crying and cried the whole evening. And! - She held his shaking hands as they went to church the next morning and he placed the entire $6,000 in the collection plate and began bible classes.

Urban Myths #2

The Sacredness of Dog Food

By Walt Chepulis

Until the very end, he cried- And! - The kennel where he worked at had an aroma that cast the demons out of him. And! - He loved the fragrance of the animals & the fake sparring between the dogs and the cats. And! - At feeding time he was the 1st one in to give them their vittles.

Grady! - You are always so good with the animals but won’t go near the patrons. Why such fear? Now! - Grady! - Whose friends were all animals - Slunk to the side whenever encountering humans. For! - He never understood humans.

And! - Later that afternoon, a preacher came by looking for a pet for his 4 children & he saw how good Grady was with the animals and he and the Pound Boss spoke. You see! - He wanted to use Grady at his house to teach his children respect for the animals.

Grady understood this and would live at the Preacher’s Mission House for 1 month. And Grady agreed. So he and the Great Dane went to live at the Mission House.

But! - His children did not like Grady & when their father was not there would taunt him and the dog.

But! - He showed them the sacredness of the dog’s life and his dog food and water. And! - That respect was required.

But! – Instead! - They laughed at him.

And! - When he saw their preacher father praying out loud - He and the father did counsel. And! – It was agreed that all your needs and questions could be answered through prayer.

So! - Grady! - Hearing that this also included the lives of people and animals. And! - With prayer there is an answer to everything that bothers you.

So! - Grady took this counseling to heart – And! - That following Saturday night there was a great revival at the tent enclosure & it was raining very heavily. And Grady and the dog stayed with the children at the Mission House because it was safer. And with a lot of lightning that day they all agreed to stay. And! – So! - the preacher father went to the tent revival alone.

Now! - The rain poured and the children grew pesky and started taunting Grady and the Great Dane. And! - In the middle of this loud, loud rain, the children pulled out the kitchen knives and surrounded Grady and the Great Dane.

Sub Chapter:

Grady! - Remembering how the preacher got down on his knees and prayed. Took the Great Dane on their knees and prayed.

Very loudly! - And the children laughed at this sight of combined fear.

Then! - Lightning hit the Mission House & it caught on fire. And when the flames were finally put out the 4 children’s bodies were found all torn up with teeth marks everywhere. And! - It was apparent that a wild animal had torn them apart & the Great Dane was responsible. And! - Grady had taught the Dane to kill.

But! - Then! - A police report and an autopsy were filed. But Grady and the dog were not found in the inferno – And! - Just the 4 children were discovered.

And! - According to the Police examiner, these 4 bodies were torn apart by human teeth with super human prayer counseled spirit power & Grady and the Dane were never seen again.

Urban Myths #3

Long legged Trombone Sally

By Walt Chepulis

She lived on the quiet side of show business & had many gifted friends in the performing arts. They enjoyed her style & they taught her to sing. And at age 4 - She could convulse an audience with her child-pounding antics.

Then! - Her mother got her an agent. Since! - Show business was tough back then - And! - It was the 30’s & a number of black-faced bands came to New Jersey. Where - They asked her mother if she could go Black-face and do colored skits.

The money was good & it kept them out of Rent Court. But! - Then! - The years went by & black-face was losing its novelty. But! - Great colored singers were thriving.

Get a real job! - Momma said & finish off your High School diploma. Or! - You will end up like me! With a 14 year old kid supporting you.

Now! - A number of her black-faced older sisters said that they were getting married - And she –Sally had to make a choice. But! - Sally - At 14 - Loved show business & was a decent back-up singer & becoming very tall.

Sub Chapter:

Randy - A band leader - Noticed her figure - Her style - And offered her a job.

We going to towns where they ain’t used to a white female busting out a colored ballad. You know what I mean? And the black-faced days is over with.

So! - Sally! - I got me a really stupid idea - Let’s have a few saloon drinks and you and me is gonna take a walk – And! - They did & drank 3 each. Then! - He took her to a tattoo parlor in the rear of the saloon - And! - Woke up the artist!

I don’t do white people!

Sam! - I need a black female singer–You crazy!–But! - $100 says you can do it - I!

Sam collapsed in disbelief–Make her black! - You know where we work. Where the crowd is crude, crude, crude & this ink ain’t gonna come off.

Sally! - It’s O.K. Sam. Either I fool them or I go back to washing dishes. And! - I turn 16 at midnight and my mom is drunk.

What he gonna call you?–Long legged Trombone Sally.

Hey man! – That cool!

O.K! - Leave her with me. And! - I will see you in the morning. And! - Sam had been given the toughest job of his entire life.

Sally! - You know you got to talk like me.

Sam! - Make me beautiful – I got to pay my mom’s liquor tab. And! - I have every colored saloon song written and memorized & I won’t let them down.

Sally! - I’m going to your 1st show–And! - If this hoax works - I will reblend you for free- And! - If this works - It will be an American Triumph! -—Wow! —Wow!

Long legged Trombone Sally convinced the world of her crooning talents & died wealthy at 89. And! Her body was taken to the up-scale funeral home in Southampton where her colored husband chose to bury her. But! - The confused funeral director took Henry to the side & showed him the ink engravings on her dead corpse.

What you trying to tell me! - I pay you good money.

She’s white!-Huh! & I have to put down white on the death certificate. But! - I don’t do white people.

Is you that stupid? But! - Nobody knew she was white! - And! - 70 years married to her and you never figured it out. Holy Shit!

You pay me double now and I will hush this up.

Henry! -You blind & dumb & Helter-Skelter.

What a scam with 70 years of tremendous acting & the best fraud in town.

She sure put one over on us colored people.

What a babe!

Urban Myths #4

The Death of an Earthquake

By Walt Chepulis

From the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Seaboard –This continent of America stretches across 3.7 million square miles of U.S. acreage-And! - Covering all 50 states are underground and above-ground camouflaged earthquake sensor stations.

With! - 5,900 plus in all. And! - All of them are relaying signals to the Federal Weather Bureaus across this very vast nation. And this collected, analyzed and master interpreted information is then relayed to the White House for its expert further deeper analysis.

Sub Chapter:

Peter - A low ranking Doctoral bird-dog had designed this system. And! - Could not figure out why so much nation-wide data could not control and resolve California’s continual earthquake traumas. And! Peter was a sub-ground specialist who had confronted and broken or sucked out the internal fractures that precipitated the ground convulsions in poorer countries. And! -Also! - He had been on loan many times to South America and other despot countries that did not want America pissed off at them.

So! - Peter-Armed with his governmental aide Fox- A Master’s graduate student in earthquake related phenomena traveled much on loan to earthquake ravaged countries that had no other options.

And! - Peter was 61 & widowed 2 times & did know the 4 Universal languages of English, Spanish, German and Mandarin Chinese. And! -Whether lowly - Or wealthy, he could converse with you in your native tongue. Also! - He had controlled or stopped with his seismic triggers -16 quakes in the last 4 years and he had written a text book called - The Death of an Earthquake.

But! - Nobody read it. And he had built his own garage-shop Earthquake Killer. And! - As the months rolled by - His web site would receive many requests from foreign countries interested in his views and the workings of his seismic machine. And! - By federal law - He had a 5 week allotment of vacation time which he used sparingly on his earthquake forays into the underprivileged 3rd world areas.

And! – Here! - The locals thusly called him that crazy white quake killer – Especially when the grounds outside their village perimeter broke and splattered and their private villages were not touched. And! - With that! - They cheered him.

But! - His federal colleagues rejected him since his machine did not follow their rules of conventional physics-And! - They deemed him an outlaw.

But! - NATO contacted his web site & invited him to speak. And! - For this! – He took another vacation week