Bittersweet Dwelling

By Paige Turner

The year is 1963 and at the age of twenty three Sandra experiences a high risk pregnancy. While in the hospital, a Mennonite nurse leads her to the Lord, and soon her husband is led to Him also. Now they have a tough decision to make. What church will they raise their children up in? Their decision would have a great impact on their future. Although their lives become complicated and they face many challenges, they find joy in the Lord through it all. Their faith in God grows strong as they see Him provide, protect, and guide them in every circumstance.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664217409

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Copyright © 2021 Paige Turner.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

WestBow Press

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Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-6642-1739-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-1741-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-1740-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020925390

WestBow Press rev. date: 02/10/2021

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgement and Thanks

Preface

Chapter 1 Once Again

Chapter 2 The Birthday Celebration

Chapter 3 Give Me Strength

Chapter 4 The Surprising News

Chapter 5 Summer Discomfort

Chapter 6 Message Heard

Chapter 7 The Arrival

Chapter 8 Redemption Found

Chapter 9 A New Way Of Life

Chapter 10 Surprising Transformations

Chapter 11 Fitting In

Chapter 12 The Slumber Party

Chapter 13 School Days

Chapter 14 A weekend with Grandma

Chapter 15 Farm Life Fun

Chapter 16 Don’t Cry Wolf

Chapter 17 The Amish Babysitter

Chapter 18 Mission Field Of Love

Chapter 19 A Buggy Ride To Church

Chapter 20 Bible School Days

Chapter 21 Oh Happy Day

Chapter 22 Questions

Chapter 23 The Bully

Chapter 24 Saved From The Fire

Chapter 25 Brotherly Love

Chapter 26 Why?

Chapter 27 Forgiveness

Chapter 28 The Birthday Gift

Chapter 29 Lord Have Mercy

Chapter 30 Faith

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my Father and Mother who are amazing gifts from God. My Mother lovingly and patiently taught me to be kind to others and to help those in need. My Father encouraged me to be strong and to defend myself when necessary. I am thankful to them both for teaching me to trust in Jesus and His great love.

Acknowledgement and Thanks

A lthough many friends and family have encouraged me along the way, I could not have completed this book without my husband and his patient love for me. I want to acknowledge him for supporting me and helping me in every step of the way. He spent many hours proofreading and helping me edit the book. I could not have completed it without his computer savy intelligence.

Preface

S ometimes God uses the simple things of life to allow us a glimpse of His truths, but other times He reveals Himself through the dramatic, the shocking, and even the unthinkable. Life’s events can drive us to our knees in desperation or lift us to new heights of joy and celebration. All too often while living our lives in the moment, we fail to step back far enough to see the finger of God weaving Himself into the unique fabric of our life.

Throughout my childhood, I enjoyed writing poetry, and short stories. My poems and short stories were often inspired by the people, the experiences, and events that were part of growing up. As I grew up, I began writing my thoughts and the days events in diaries and journals. When I would share with people how I was raised, and how my family left the modern world of the 1960’s to became Mennonite, I would often hear you need to write a book in response.

For twenty years I knew that God wanted me to write a book. I made time to write eight chapters but after that, I would start to write more and then stop again. I didn’t make it a priority in my life. I kept busying myself by doing all sorts of very good things. I was part of our church drama team, sang in the choir, and helped with youth group activities. I gardened and canned, I entered my flowers in fairs and won ribbons, and my husband and I traveled the USA.

It was during the early stages of 2020 and the Corona virus shut-down, that God finally got my full attention regarding writing this book. He revealed to me that doing good things can be the wrong things, if I wasn’t doing what He was calling me to do. He knew that my experiences in life could be used to inspire, encourage, and bless others. I began writing the first book of a planned four book series. It is my hope that God will use this simple act of obedience to bring as much joy and encouragement to those who read it, as it has given to me while writing it.

CHAPTER One

Once Again

I t was the year 1963 on a cold February morning in Indiana, and everything was covered with snow. The sunshine made the town of Kirksville sparkle like a beautiful winter wonderland. Sandra had only a short drive to her doctor’s appointment that morning. She loved the snow, and her thoughts wandered back to her childhood memories of sledding and ice-skating when she was a child. When she arrived at the clinic, she couldn’t help but reach down for a handful of snow to make a snowball, and she threw it at the light pole. She didn’t mind that she had to park in the very back of the parking lot. She enjoyed the walk through the newly fallen snow, and made a fresh path through it to the entrance.

After checking in at the front desk, Sandra took a seat in the waiting room. She noticed the middle-aged lady sitting next to her was obviously pregnant. Sandra nervously looked around the room, and started biting her fingernail. The lady looked up from her magazine, and stared at Sandra with curiosity. Hi. I couldn’t help but notice that you seem anxious. Are you expecting your first child? she asked with a smile. Hello. No. This will be my third child. How many will this be for you? Sandra asked. This will be my fifth, and my last, she answered, with a laugh as she rubbed her tummy. How wonderful. I would like to have at least six children but this will be my last also, said Sandra, with sadness in her voice, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I realize there are many women who want children, but aren’t able to have any. Just then, a nurse called the lady’s name. As she stood to follow the nurse, she told Sandra that three children should keep her very busy.

A few minutes later, a nurse called Sandra’s name, and led her to an examination room. While waiting to be seen by Dr. Woods, she watched the big snowflakes fall against the window. She thought about how she had put the appointment off long enough. Being over two months along now, she shouldn’t wait any longer. She dreaded even going back to see him, because of what he said to her after delivering her second child. He advised her to have her tubes tied after she had a cesarean with her first baby, and he told her the same thing, when she had her second baby by cesarean also. She refused to listen to him again. How could she have only one child, when she wanted a house full of them? After the second baby, he insisted that she must not have any more children because it would be too risky to have another C-section in the same place again. I don’t want to see you back a third time, young lady. Do you understand, was Dr. Woods’ orders. Now here she was pregnant for the third time and feeling guilty.

Once again, she refused to listen to her doctor’s advice. She knew he would be angry. What does it matter if he blows off a little steam, she thought, It’s my body, after all, and I want this child more than anything. I shouldn’t feel guilty for that. She was tired from working all week at the factory on the assembly line and just wanted to get this appointment over with and go home to her husband and little ones. She knew her husband David would have supper ready soon and little Derek and Ruthann would be anxiously waiting for her hugs and kisses.

Sandra had just fallen asleep when the door swung open. It startled her, and for a moment, she forgot where she was. When she saw the look on Dr. Woods’ face, it expressed exactly how he felt. Not you again, he blurted out, irritated just to see her there. Sandra, I told you that I didn’t want to see you in here again. Looking down and nervously wringing her hands, she gave a big sigh, and then looked up at him. Look, Doctor Woods, I know. I know! Just hear me out. Please. I have always loved kids, and I wanted a passel of them. You told me that I have narrow hip bone structure, therefore I can’t have them naturally, only by C-section. How do you know that a woman can’t be cut the third time in the same place for it? Have you had a patient with that scenario before? asked Sandra, passionately. With his hands on his hips and an angry look on his face, he stepped closer to her. No, and that is beside the point! Most of my patients listen to me and take my advice! It will be very difficult for the incision to heal, the uterus is weak so it could literally tear open, and then there is the scar tissue— Sandra interrupted him. So you’re telling me that you’re scared then? Maybe you aren’t sure you can do it, said Sandra, challenging him. Her questions made him furious. Questioning me and my ability now, are you, the doctor replied, as he defended himself, young lady, what am I going to do with you? You certainly try my patience, Dr. Woods said, with frustration. He turned around to look at his clipboard. There he goes with that young lady stuff again, she thought. Sandra didn’t feel young at all. She already had two children, and worked at the factory for three years. She was barely twenty-three, and the doctor didn’t want to see her life endangered in any way. Although she aggravated him with her stubbornness, he was very fond of her. He was a good friend of the family and had delivered her when she was born.

Okay Sandra, lie down here, and let’s take a look at that stomach first, said Dr. Woods, with a sigh. Sandra’s stomach had a long horizontal scar that she was very self-conscious of. She wished her skin had more elasticity in it, and that she had the flat tummy she had when she got married. She would gladly do it all over again though. The scar and all that came with it, was more than worth it, to have the little ones she loved so dearly. David assured her many times that she was beautiful, and it didn’t matter to him at all. He assured her that he loved her for who she was, not for how her body would ever look. He told her often that she was beautiful inside and out.

Dr. Woods’ brows showed concern. As he rubbed his chin, he spoke to her in a more gentle tone. You know, we can take care of this matter discreetly so you wouldn’t have to suffer through this pregnancy, he said quietly. Sandra couldn’t believe what she just heard! Anger rose up inside of her, as she tried to find the words to say without chewing him out. Doctor, I respect you, and even think of you like one of our family, but how could you suggest such a thing? asked Sandra, insulted by the suggestion the doctor had made. He responded gently once again. Sandra, I care about you too and that’s why I don’t want any complications to arise that would put your life in danger. You must understand where I’m coming from. Do you realize that as the baby grows and your stomach stretches, that it will be putting way too much pressure on the old incision? The tissue inside could literally tear. What a mess you’ve gotten us into, Dr. Woods said, shaking his head in disbelief. There was silence. Somehow Sandra had to make him understand. Tears began to run down her cheeks. It is not your mess, she replied, I can go to another doctor if you don’t want to deliver this baby. Dr. Woods hated to see her so upset, and knew he had stepped way out of line. He apologized and it was accepted. With that, he just threw up his hands and gave up. I can see that you are going to go through with this no matter what I say. You know the drill–eat right, get plenty of rest, and no alcohol or cigarettes! You remember the hard time we had getting Ruthann to breathe when she was born. I still say, it was due to your excessive smoking! I thought we were going to lose that little girl. She was in the hospital a week before you could take her home, wasn’t she? asked Dr. Woods, with a scolding tone. Sandra felt very guilty about that, and she wasn’t about to put this baby in danger with smoking. Yes, doctor. She was. I quit smoking. I’ll be a good young lady, said Sandra, slowly exaggerating the young lady. Getting lots of rest may not be possible though. With my two little ones, my full-time factory job, and housework there’s little time left for rest, explained Sandra. Dr. Woods was getting frustrated and began scolding her. Sandra, if you want this pregnancy to be successful and without complications, for you or the baby, then you have to listen to me this time! Got it? Sandra hesitated for a moment. Got it," she sighed. After he left the room, she was feeling physically and mentally tired. She was glad that it was a Friday. David cooked supper on Fridays, and she would get a little more rest during the weekend.

As Sandra put on her coat to leave the clinic, all she could think about, was how to tell David the news. She was glad that the worst was over though. Dr. Woods was the hardest person to tell and it was a big relief that it was done. While scraping the snow off the windshield, her mind went back to how she would tell David that they were going to have a third child. He had plans to buy a larger home and build up a savings account. Their little brick home, in a peaceful housing addition in Kirksville, was nice, but it only had two bedrooms. Derek and Ruthann had to share a room. It was a large room, and they were still very young, so it would be sufficient for a while longer. The spacious kitchen was Sandra’s favorite room in the house because she loved to cook and entertain. Their large backyard was fenced-in. The children had a new swing set and a sandbox to play in. Sandra knew things would be crowded in their home for a while, but they would manage just fine.

Finally, she thought, as she jumped into the car. She shivered from the cold as she drove away. Sandra decided that she would just wait a couple days before telling David about the pregnancy. Tomorrow would be Derek’s fourth birthday, and she didn’t want things to be tense between her and David at his party. She hoped her mother wouldn’t be able to detect anything out of the ordinary, or question if there was anything wrong. There would be a lot of family there. The focus needed to be on Derek, not on her. She was convinced that she had a good reason to wait to tell him the news later, and was sure that David would understand why she waited.

As Sandra walked in the front door of their home, she was greeted by shouts of joy from Derek and Ruthann. They hugged her legs with all the strength their little arms could give, but their display of affection almost made her lose her balance. After hugs and kisses, she was free to take off her snow covered boots. She dropped into the lazy boy chair to rest before supper. In an instant, both children were on her lap. Sandra lovingly welcomed their desire to cuddle for a while. She didn’t like leaving them with a babysitter, but she had to work to make ends meet and to have the things they desired. As they sat there, she could smell David’s fried chicken. It usually made her mouth water, but now it was making her feel sick to her stomach. He made the best fried chicken she ever had, and he was very proud of that fact. The joy of cooking was one of the many things they had in common. They liked planning menus and preparing meals for Sunday lunches. They often invited their relatives and friends to join them.

David entered the living room with a bite of chicken for Sandra to sample. You look tired, sweetheart. Here’s a taste of what’s to come for supper, David said, as he held the fork in front of her face. Sandra didn’t even want to look at the bite of chicken, let alone taste it. She refused by putting her hand in front of it. What’s wrong? You never turn down a tasty morsel like this. Someone needs to make sure it’s good before I serve it, said David, sounding disappointed. Thinking fast, she looked at Derek. I want to save my appetite for supper. We’ll let Derek try it for us,