Whisper of Hope, Cry of Despair

By Vicky Bedi

In the making for more than fifty years, Whisper of Hope, Cry of Despair, by author Vicky Bedi, chronicles how, throughout her lifetime, she has been molded by the life experiences of both her mother and father.

This story is important because it tells about Slavic immigrants coming to the New World during the first decade of the twentieth century, offering details about how they lived and the adversities they faced. It discusses the murder of Bedi’s paternal grandfather in 1917 and the resulting shame, guilt, and loss of family for her father and his brother. It shares the suicide of her maternal grandfather, who couldn’t bear the loss of the Czar’s Russia and who couldn’t face the shame and guilt of familial incest. Finally, it tells of the intergenerational effects of child abuse, such as further child abuse and spouse abuse.

In Whisper of Hope, Cry of Despair, Bedi narrates her story to help other victims of family situations accept parents and family without judgment and to record the empathy and peace she’s found.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Nov 21, 2018
• ISBN: 9781532057915

Vicky Bedi

Vicky Bedi is a talented musician and artist from Vermont. She has been influenced throughout her life by her friends (including her pets) and family, as well as nature. This is Bedi’s debut book.

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Copyright © 2018 Vicky Bedi.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-5790-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-5791-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018912536

iUniverse rev. date: 11/20/2018

CONTENTS

PREFACE

DAD

MOM

DAD AND MOM

GRAM

ME

EPILOGUE

APPENDIX

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

PREFACE

T he telling of this story has been in progress for more than fifty years. However, for most of that time, it was conceived as the story of Laura Hayna Bedi, my mother. When I attempted to write her story, it became apparent that the story was really about me—how I had been molded by the life experiences of both my mother and my father. So, this is my story.

This story is important because it tells about Slavic immigrants coming to the New World during the first decade of the twentieth century, how they lived and what adversities they faced. It tells about the murder of my paternal grandfather in 1917 and the resulting shame, guilt, and loss of family for my father and his brother. It tells of the suicide of my maternal grandfather, who couldn’t bear the loss of the Czar’s Russia and who couldn’t face the shame and guilt of incest. Finally, it tells of the intergenerational effects of child abuse, such as further child abuse and spousal abuse.

My purposes in writing this story include helping other victims of family situations similar to mine; accepting the parents and family I have without judgment; recording the empathy and acceptance that I’ve found; and because I promised that I would.

I have few primary sources of information. Most is based on oral family lore. Secondary sources are presented in an appendix; many of these are contradictory. Some sources, such as my paternal grandmother’s passport from the Austro-Hungarian Empire, are missing. Therefore, I am using the oral family lore as the primary basis of my information.

DAD

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Dad in his favorite chair

D ad (Victor Bedi) was born March 27, 1912. He died March 13, 1979. For many years, we knew only of one sibling of Dad’s—a younger brother named Gabriel. Later, we learned that they had a younger sister as well.

Dad’s parents emigrated from France (mother Flora) and India (father Eli). I have seen Flora’s passport. It stated where they were from and that they traveled through the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

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The Bedi family tree

They settled first in West Virginia and later Madeira, Pennsylvania. Eli worked in the coal mines. In February 1917, the following appeared in a newspaper:

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Wife charged with shooting husband

Since my mother always wanted to uncover reasons to emotionally abuse Dad, she continually researched this murder. Mom always blamed my father for causing the murder. To her, Dad was no good. He was trouble ever since he jumped out of his mother’s ass. That was one of her favorite mantras.

In fact, I