Grieving Grant: Growing Closer to God Through the Death of My Son

By Tif McDevitt

Having lived through the traumatic deaths of her older brother and sister, author Tif McDevitt suffered another traumatic loss when her firstborn son, eighteen-year-old Grant, was killed in November of 2016. In Grieving Grant, she shares her grief in the first year following his death and how she was sustained by the power of her redeemer, Jesus Christ. In this memoir, McDevitt chronicles the first year of shock, sorrow, and grief and the comfort she received from others and through the Spirit of God. She tells how she found purpose and hope after unspeakable tragedy, and how she grew closer to God after Grants tragic death.

Praise for Grieving Grant

In her debut book, Grieving Grant: Growing Closer to God through the Death of My Son, Tif McDevitt holds nothing back as she chronicles the months leading up to and following the tragic loss of her firstborn shortly after his eighteenth birthday. McDevitt courageously and unapologetically shares the depth of her grief through a collection of original narratives, letters, artifacts, and poetry. But in the midst of unimaginable pain, the author faithfully watches for signs of the promises made by an all-powerful God. As these are revealed, McDevitt records divinely delivered messages of assurance. Karyn W. Tunks, PhD

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jul 6, 2018
• ISBN: 9781973632474

Tif McDevitt

Tif McDevitt is the mother of two sons who has served in both womens and jail ministries to encourage others to rely on Christ in all things. Having lived through the traumatic deaths of both her older brother and sister, she now shares her story of the traumatic death of her firstborn son in November 2016. Tif shares her grief in the first year following her son Grants death and how she has been sustained by the power of her redeemer, Jesus Christ. Tif resides in Pensacola, Florida, where she enjoys being a mom and sharing life with dear friends she calls family.

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Copyright © 2018 Tif McDevitt.

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Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (AMP) are taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB), Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

ISBN: 978-1-9736-3246-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-3245-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-3247-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018907898

WestBow Press rev. date: 7/20/2018

Contents

foreword

preface

acknowledgments

entry 1: august 11, 2016 — signing day

entry 2: october 23, 2016 — decision to go to new york city

entry 3: november 10, 2016 — reconciliation

entry 4: november 17, 2016 — grant’s visit

entry 5: november 23, 1991, and november 23, 2016 — major date that changed the course of my life

entry 6: november 23, 2016 — the text that would change my life

entry 7: november 24, 2016 — how the holiday season began

entry 8 — praying for a resurrection

entry 9 — will you sing I will rise?

entry 10: november 29-30, 2016 — a friend’s handkerchief

entry 11: november 30, 2016 — the morning of grant’s memorial

entry 12 — the eulogy

entry 13 — flashback to spiritual conference, february 2016 (message repeated at grant’s memorial service)

entry 14 — pain is temporary; glory is forever

entry 15: december 1, 2016 — kari jobe concert

entry 16: december 3, 2016 — life-giving vision

entry 17 — christmas

entry 18: december 28, 2016, to january 2, 2017 — new york city

entry 19 — when days and thoughts run together

entry 20: march 18, 2017 — four months

entry 21 — a portrait by ellen

entry 22: april 2017 — five months-easter

entry 23 — spring 2017

entry 24 — seven months

entry 25 — eight months

entry 26 — nine months

entry 27 — ten months

entry 28 — eleven months

entry 29 — twelve months

entry 30: november 21, 2017 — oceans

entry 31: november 23, 2017 — the irony of thanksgiving

entry 32 — viva la vida-live life

last entry — love letter from my son

friends of the author on Grieving Grant

afterword

thank you

about the author

To my sustainer and redeemer, Jesus Christ, who has truly shown me that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

foreword

Tif—three letters that seem to fit her small frame. But that’s all that’s small about her. She loves big. She gives big. She does everything with gusto. She makes everything more fun. Smiling and vivacious, someone once told her she looked like Skittles because of her bright, happy-colored wardrobe, and it fit with her even brighter, happier-colored personality. She came into my family’s life as my daughter’s running coach, but even that description is too small for her. She challenged all her kids to excel in running but more importantly to excel in their walk with Christ. At the same time she encouraged the kids to skip soda and get enough sleep, she also encouraged them to rely on God, to have a relationship with Him, and to run the race set out before them with excellence. She was their mentor and friend, and she became my dear friend as well.

And, oh, how she loved her boy. Everyone did! Grant had a way of making anyone he talked to feel important. He was handsome, magnetic, and, most importantly, kind. He loved the Lord and shared deep conversations and even deeper bonds with his friends. And in one horrible, inexplicable moment, the world was robbed of his light.

Tif has a hole in her heart that will never be filled again. Hearing the guttural, pain-filled sobs of this broken mother at Grant’s memorial would make the hardest of hearts weep. Yet, Tif’s light did not die. In one of her moments of deepest agony, as her friend Darcy helped her stand, she preached the gospel and the hope of Jesus to the enormous mourning crowd. Despite the unimaginable pain of losing her cherished son, she has continued to minister to everyone in her life—whether they are there for a moment or a lifetime. As she sought the Lord through Bible study, she invited women to join her in the journey, hosting a study even as her grief was still raw. She continued to minister to runners she was coaching. She comforted Grant’s friends. She continued to point those around her to the Lord, just as she has done for as long