Rising Above: 365 Daily Meditations for Becoming and Overcoming

By Brent N. Bozeman

Dr. Brent Bozeman shares his writings with the world about things he learned the hard way. The thoughts and ideas contained in these meditations were originally intended for his two sons, and they are sometimes intense, with raw passion and vulnerability. Written from the perspective of his own struggles with addiction, shame, and a real doubt of Gods love, he reminds us all that falling down is not the end of our story but the beginning of grace. This book offers 365 personal meditations intended to challenge your mind and inspire hope. By surrendering to the relentless love of God, you too can rise above.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: May 1, 2018
• ISBN: 9781973624967

Brent N. Bozeman

Brent N. Bozeman has a Ph.D. in Psychology and Counseling, and enjoys using his personal journey and experience as a teacher, pastor, missionary, and therapist to help others discover themselves within the very heart of God.

Book preview

Copyright © 2018 Brent N. Bozeman.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

[Scripture quotations are] from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright © 1946, 1952, and 1971 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9736-2495-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-2494-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-2496-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018904173

WestBow Press rev. date: 04/27/2018

Dedication

To my two sons, the promised ones - my heart, my calling, and my first purpose. Everything in these pages was penned for you two boys. Some things in this book I learned while with you, and other expensive lessons I paid for while away in the far country. I can only pray that the Father redeems it all now, every moment, every word, and every lost day. These pages are filled with pain, love, victory, glory, and shame. These truths I gained while climbing the mountain and trying to rise above it all, I now hand over to you.

Some of these things I learned from books, some from the past’s ghosts, some from dear friends, some from the Spirit, and some from you two. Even while in the far country I wrote to you, scribbling lines on torn pages with dirty hands. I tried to write it all down well, in some memorable way, for you both, and sometimes that didn’t work out so well, as you will surely read. I am no real writer, only a father who loves his sons.

My beloved sons, I offer these writings as a gift to you. These are the lyrics of my soul, and now it is up to you to live well, to live wild, and to add the notes. I hope you both find my love between the words and the pages, and in every line written here. I adore you both.

Dad

Thirty-one (December)

By George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul

Go, my beloved children, live your life.

Wounded, faint, bleeding, never yield to strife.

Stunned, fallen-awake, arise, and fight again.

Before you victory now stands, with shining train

Of hopes not credible until they are.

Beyond morass and mountain swells the star

Of perfect love – the home of longing heart and brain.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Introduction

January 1           I Surrender All

January 2           We Tortured Souls

January 3           That Old Bag of Rocks

January 4            Happiness

January 5            Not So Great Expectations

January 6           Relativity

January 7           My Life as a Rose

January 8           Mud Pies and Open Eyes – Part 1

January 9           Mud Pies and Open Eyes – Part 2

January 10           Pain’s Divinity

January 11           To Climb Again

A Poem: Climb

January 12           Grief Observed

January 13           Surely

January 14           Failing to Truly Live

January 15           Childish

January 16           Crazy for Me

January 17           I Can Only Imagine

January 18           The Undead

January 19           Religion, the Great Distraction

January 20           Into Thy Hands

January 21           Nightmare

January 22           Take it Easy – Finding New Energy to Live

January 23           One Day Left

January 24           Needy

January 25           Love and Fear

January 26           While there is Still Time

January 27           Augustine and Me

January 28           A Kingdom for People like Me

January 29           A Jealous God

January 30           Teacher

January 31           Be Thou My Vision

February 1           Children of a Lesser God

February 2           Better Than

February 3           Pleasing God – Part 1

February 4           Pleasing God – Part 2

February 5           A Faith that is Blind

February 6           Candle on a Hill

February 7           Rising Above Resentment

February 8           In Our Image

February 9           February 9

A Poem: The Hug (After returning from a mission trip to Haiti)

February 10           No Turning Back

February 11           Teacher, I want to see.

February 12           Sheep, a Coin, and You

February 13           The Birthmark of the Born Again

February 14           Love Completes Law – Part 1

February 15           Love Completes Law – Part 2

February 16           Masterpiece

February 17           Secret Place of Thunder

February 18           Why Me?

February 19           To Keep You from Falling

February 20           Thirsty

February 21           The Life-Giving Power of Humble Gratitude

February 22           Daddy

February 23           Spending Time

February 24           Like Clay in the Potter’s Hands

February 25           No Need for Faith

February 26           To Love You Changes Me

February 27           Surrender – Part 1

February 28           Surrender – Part 2

February 29           Surrender – Part 3

March 1           A Love Unpredictable

March 2           The Divine Romance

March 3           Come to Me

March 4           Enjoying Today’s Gifts

March 5           Does He Really Love Me?

March 6           Far Too Large a Price to Pay

March 7           Glory and Sin

March 8           Jackpot

March 9           The Epicenter of Evil Lies Within

March 10           The Ball and Chain

March 11           Spirit’s Hurricane

March 12           Sifted Like Wheat

March 13           Man or a Mouse

March 14           Progress, not Perfection

March 15           Resting in the Shadow

March 16           The Bible - Scripture Worship

A Poem: This Day (To a Friend on Her Birthday)

March 17           Zacchaeus, the Great

March 18           The Willingness to Believe – Part 1

March 19           The Willingness to Believe – Part 2

March 20           Truth Borrowed

March 21           The Divine Risk

March 22           At the Cross, At the Cross

March 23           You, the Beloved One

March 24           Trusting Daddy

March 25           Practicing the Presence of God

March 26           Barbed with Light

March 27           Alone with God

March 28           Heart Prayers – Part 1

March 29           Heart Prayers – Part 2

March 30           The Ache of Growth

March 31           Tempted to Pretend

April 1           The Beatitudes – Who belongs in the Kingdom?

April 2           The Beatitudes – The Potential of the Poor

April 3           The Beatitudes – Joy Comes in the Mourning?

April 4           The Beatitudes – Blessed Meekness

April 5           The Beatitudes – Hungry and Happy

April 6           The Beatitudes – Joy in Pain

April 7           The Beatitudes – Happy are the Pure

April 8           The Beatitudes – Happy are the Peace-Givers

April 9           The Beatitudes – Blessed are the Persecuted

April 10           The Finer Things (January 3, 2013)

A Poem: Senses

April 11           Life Equals Relationship

April 12           The Powerful Spoken Word

April 13           It’s Good to Be King

April 14           Wealthy

April 15           Taught by the Master

April 16           Astonished

April 17           Waiting for the Wind

April 18           Echoes and Silence, Patience and Grace

April 19           The Golden Rule

April 20           Crown of Creation, Obey!

April 21           He Who is Not Against Us, is for Us

April 22           Enemy of God

April 23           Tempted to Plan

April 24           Life as a Phantom

April 25           Today You Will Be with Me in Paradise

April 26           His Favorite Apple

April 27           If Only A Fig-Picker

April 28           To Be Like John the Baptizer

April 29           Got Peace?

April 30           Where Pain Once Was

May 1           Jesus, in Person

May 2           Calling

May 3           Lost

May 4           My Cup Runneth Over

May 5           Calling the Past into Account

May 6           John 1 – Part 1: The Logos

May 7           John 1 – Part 2: In the Beginning, God

May 8           John 1 – Part 3: The Light, the Lamp, the Life

May 9           A Slave to Freedom

May 10           Faith, Deeds, and the Law of Love

May 11           It’s Not Fair

May 12           Say My Name

May 13           The Product of Pain

May 14           Windows to the Soul

May 15           All of Your Needs

May 16           Beauty – In the Eye of the Beholder?

May 17           Daddy and the Word of God

May 18           When I Doubt My Father’s Love

May 19           Staying Quiet in the Desert Places

A Poem: Beauty Sleeping (Written to a friend with a past)

May 20           Boldness

May 21           Cheek to Cheek with the Father

May 22           The Rock

May 23           … I Am the Way…

May 24           … I Am the Truth…

May 25           … I Am the Life…

May 26           The Blood of Kindness

May 27           A Conversation with a Friend

May 28           Prayer – Father Knows Best

May 29           Jekyll and Hyde

May 30           Grapes and Thorns

May 31           From the Inside Out

June 1           Yummy Crumbs

June 2           Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

June 3           God as Romantic?

June 4           If Only I Were John

June 5           Please, Don’t Leave Me

June 6           Self-Deception

June 7           Give Thanks in All Circumstances

June 8           Daddy Worship

June 9           The Fruit of the Spirit

June 10           Fruits of the Spirit – Love

June 11           Fruits of the Spirit – Joy

June 12           Fruits of the Spirit – Peace

June 13           Fruits of the Spirit – Patience

June 14           Fruits of the Spirit – Kindness

June 15           Fruits of the Spirit – Goodness

June 16           Fruits of the Spirit – Faithfulness

June 17           Fruits of the Spirit – Gentleness (Meekness)

June 18           Fruits of the Spirit – Self-Control

June 19           Questions and the Face of God

A Poem: More

June 20           Everything is Passing

June 21           Putting Pasts in Proper Places

June 22           Jonah and the Whale

June 23           Jonah and the Worm

June 24           You Must Be Possessed!

June 25           Mission to Haiti – Day 1: What Is My Life Worth?

June 26           Mission to Haiti – Day 2: The Consequences of Meeting God

June 27           Mission to Haiti – Day 3: Divine Restlessness

June 28           Mission to Haiti – Day 4: A Cross Walk

June 29           Curious

June 30           Abandoned by the Father

July 1           Everything in Moderation Except…

July 2           Praise Songs and Filthy Rags

July 3           Dependence

July 4           The Golden Calf of the Heart

July 5           On the Edge of His Seat

July 6           A Heart that is Completely His

July 7           On the Straight and Narrow

July 8           Have Thine Own Way

July 9           Hurt People, Hurt People – Part 1

July 10           Hurt People, Hurt People – Part 2

July 11           Road to Perdition

July 12           The Best Medicine

July 13           The Shepherd’s Voice

July 14           You Can Be a Star

July 15           Who is Jesus… to You?

July 16           The Purpose of Creation

July 17           The Lonely Path of the Rare

July 18           The Whole World is a Stage

July 19           Worth the Fight

July 20           A No-Lose Situation

July 21           Exceeding Abundant Power

July 22           Humble Yourselves

July 23           Some Thoughts on Death – Part 1

July 24           Some Thoughts on Death – Part 2

July 25           Full Submission Equals Complete Freedom

July 26           Emptied Out

July 27           It’s Just You and Him

July 28           Meditation

July 29           Pain

July 30           Self-Discipline

July 31           Mountainous Mercy

August 1           Against Jesus?

August 2           Elisabeth’s Call

August 3           A Prayer: Locust Years

A Poem: Listen

August 4           The Gift of Trouble

August 5           Who Chose Whom?

August 6           Empty Branches

August 7           Failing the Test

August 8           Temporary

August 9           Pleading with God

August 10           Prostitutes, Preachers, Learners, and Teachers

August 11           The Ultimate Reality and True Faith

August 12           The Everlasting Covenant

August 13           The Law of Grace

August 14           What Shall My Offering Be?

August 15           The Presence of Evil

August 16           Humility is… Part 1

August 17           Humility is… Part 2

August 18           I’m Proud of You

August 19           Good and Bad Religion

August 20           Infinite Patience

August 21           Wasting the Cross of Christ

August 22           The Only True Currency

August 23           Thomas, My Brother

August 24           Thoughts on Prayer – Part 1: The Dignity of Causality

August 25           Thoughts on Prayer – Part 2: The Concert of Prayer

August 26           From Failure to Faith

August 27           His Tender Touch

August 28           Past Tense

August 29           Identity Crisis

August 30           Truth and Lies

August 31           Hiding from God

September 1           Forgive Yourself

September 2           In the Image of God

September 3           Prayer – Prayerful Listening (overcoming fear)

September 4           Tears of Shame

September 5           Just Crazy Enough

September 6           Punishment

September 7           When a Rock Can Float

September 8           The Compassion of the Christ

September 9           Touch My Eyes

September 10           The Idols in our Hearts

September 11           The Flowing River of His Will

September 12           To Love Like a Sinner

September 13           Ephraim, the Wayward Son

September 14           Faith and Circumstances

September 15           The Affair: The Desperate Cry of a Fearful King

September 16           The Affair: Blood and Leprosy

September 17           The Affair: The Haunting

September 18           The Affair: Even Kings Have a King

September 19           The Affair: The Birth of Iniquity

September 20           The Affair: The Core of My Being

September 21           The Affair: Whiter than Snow

September 22           The Affair: The Weight of Iniquity

September 23           The Affair: Heart Transplant

September 24           The Affair: After God’s Own Heart

September 25           The Affair: What was Lost Can Still Be Found

September 26           The Affair: Dark Pasts Turned into Bright Hope

September 27           The Affair: The Sacrifice of the Heart

A Poem: These Hands

September 28           It Just Doesn’t Matter

September 29           As Iron Sharpens Iron

September 30           Indefinable but Not Unreachable

October 1           Naked

October 2           I’m Only Human – Part 1

October 3           I’m Only Human – Part 2

October 4           The Faith of Fear

October 5           The Transformation

October 6           Oh, the Irony

October 7           When His Voice Goes Silent

October 8           On Good and Evil – Part 1

October 9           On Good and Evil – Part 2

October 10           It’s Who You Know

October 11           Becoming the Least of These

October 12           The King and I

October 13           Provoke, But in a Considerate Way

October 14           Prayer

October 15           Playing God – Part 1

October 16           Playing God – Part 2

October 17           Playing God – Part 3

October 18           Playing God – Part 4 (Never Forgive Yourself)

October 19           Going Back to Egypt

October 20           Growing Weary and Tired

October 21           Dangerous Dichotomies

October 22           No Pain, No Gain

October 23           Overcoming Loneliness – Part 1

October 24           Overcoming Loneliness – Part 2

October 25           Overcoming Loneliness – Part 3

A Poem: Lonely

October 26           More on Surrender

October 27           The Measure of a Great Faith

October 28           The Lord is my…. pack mule??

October 29           The Gift of Perspective

October 30           Healing in His Wings

October 31           Living without the Mask

November 1           Writings During a Dark Time – Part 1

November 2           Writings During a Dark Time – Part 2 4:45 am – Stones and Snakes

November 3           Writings During a Dark Time – Part 3

November 4           Writings During a Dark Time – Part 4

November 5           Writings During a Dark Time – Part 5

November 6           Writings During a Dark Time – Part 6

November 7           Writings During a Dark Time – Part 7

November 8           Writings During a Dark Time – Part 8

November 9           A Friend of Tax Collectors and Sinners

November 10           Free at Last

November 11           I Need You

November 12           Out of the Ashes I will Rise

November 13           Like Father, Like Son

November 14           Pain, the Great Teacher

November 15           Fear – Part 1

November 16           Fear – Part 2

November 17           The Sinful, the Sick, and the Needy

November 18           The Daily Temptation

November 19           The Road to the Far Country

November 20           The Prodigal Father

November 21           With Rings and Robes and Feasts

November 22           Life Without Bootstraps

November 23           Harlots, Hypocrites, and Halos

November 24           The Dim Light – A Confession

November 25           Shame on Me – Part 1

November 26           Shame on Me – Part 2

November 27           Shame on Me – Part 3

A Poem: Self-Hate

November 28           What to Do with the Old Me

November 29           The Great Value of Failure

November 30           Valley of Trouble, Door of Hope

December 1           Rising Above Deception – Part 1

December 2           Rising Above Deception – Part 2

December 3           Great Expectations (Waiting on the Lord)

December 4           Righteous Deeds, Filthy Rags

December 5           The Past of Paul

December 6           The Lazarus Effect – Part 1: Are Miracles Real?

December 7           The Lazarus Effect – Part 2: Miracles

December 8           Some Thoughts on Time – Introduction: Part 1

December 9           Some Thoughts on Time – Part 2

December 10           Some Thoughts on Time – Part 3

December 11           Some Thoughts on Time – Part 4

December 12           Some Thoughts on Time – Part 5

December 13           The Loss of Wonder

December 14           We Tortured, Gifted Souls

December 15           Worthy – Part 1

December 16           Worthy – Part 2

December 17           Perspective - (Upon returning from Guatemala, 2017)

December 18           Falling from Grace

December 19           Extremely Balanced

December 20           Weakness is My Strength

December 21           Our Past

December 22           Winds of Change

December 23           The Flood and Storm

December 24           Sailboats, Rudders, and the Wind

December 25           December 25 – Thy Kingdom Come

December 26           More Than We Are

December 27           Refiners Fire

A Poem: Return (After recovering from a painful relapse)

December 28           God is Pain

December 29           When I Turned My Back on Him

December 30           The Prayer of Jabez

December 31           New Year’s Resolution

Bibliography

Acknowledgements

My heart-felt thanks goes to Kevin and Leslie Cheramie, Stephanie Sorenson, and other dear friends who helped in the editing and other details of this book that were beyond my skills and abilities. Thanks to all friends and loved ones who gave feedback over the years and encouraged me to begin and complete this little project. May our God use our efforts to edify anyone who reads these pages.

Introduction

The ancients believed that one’s name was one’s destiny. Who would have imagined that would be true for me? My parents loved name meanings, likely for the reason already mentioned. So when I was born, they called me Brent. It is an old Irish name that means Steep hill. But they read in a book that the Christian, given meaning of the name was Rising Above. Since I was old enough to remember, I have known my name was Rising Above, and that this would somehow be my destiny.

I fully realize that the writings, meditations, thoughts, and ideas contained here may not be for everyone. Most of this was written to my two sons, so that they would have a record long after I am gone of some of the things I have learned the hard way. Some may seem too personal for publication, or too strange, but I hope my children will benefit someday, and I still hold to the idea that everyone can gain from knowing the raw truth. They are meant to challenge my sons, and therefore anyone else who reads them. Some are meant as encouragement during hard times, and some may help us face the truth about ourselves and our Creator. All are written in love, and meant to be helpful.

It may soon be obvious to all readers that I have no formal training in writing. I also tend to despise rules of all types, including grammar rules. I have been told that I seem to write in a certain rhythm, and am usually willing to take liberties with grammar laws to keep that rhythm. That being the case, my apologies up front to the reader, and to all the friends who attempted to help me with editing the manuscript. Please know that sometimes I over-ruled my editors, gladly choosing artistic license over good grammar.

I hope that every writing within these pages contains truth, and we all know that truth is never really original. The ideas and concepts taught here were first taught to me by my parents, others who crossed my path, dear friends, or from sources I could not possibly remember. I am grateful to God, the Source of all truth, for any of these writings that will stand the test of time, the most basic element of what makes truth, true.

Finally, if I could suggest a way of using this book of daily meditations – First, these writings may be more lengthy than the normal devotional. Try setting aside a significant amount of time in the mornings to spend alone with God, using these writings, or some other devotional book, as only a helpful tool. Before reading anything, try to pause, asking God to speak to you through whatever you read that day, whether in the meditation or scripture. This will sharpen your focus to listen, and it offers God the invitation to enter into the silence of the experience. Then, after reading, ask God what He wants you to learn or apply to that day. Listen for Him to speak.

In the end, the goal of all prayer and meditation is to align our personal will with God’s will. In short, the point is surrender, in full, and complete. To truly say, Not my will, but your will be done in me and through me, Lord is the key that unlocks the floodgates of Heaven, and what begins real change in the stubborn human heart. Without a full surrender of the self, this book of meditations or any other is simply a waste of time.

January 1

I Surrender All

When Jesus heard this, he said to him, You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come follow me. When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy. Luke 18:22-23

Once we have begun to learn the extreme value, the great peace and powerful results that can come from surrendering our worries, fears, addictions, and problems to the Lord, the more difficult task of laying down our best dreams at his feet comes next.

Handing over our most treasured wishes becomes a surprisingly stubborn discipline, maybe because we assume that our best plans for our own future are always right and good. Consider the power of God, the incomprehensible size of his heart, and the bottomless depth of his love, and we are suddenly forced to concede that his plans for us are much greater than our own.

Why limit our future to the limited day dreams of our limited imaginations, when our future could be resting on the limitless vision of God instead?

I find it most difficult when, feeling excitement about some great idea of mine for my life, to bow and place that very excitement at the Father’s feet. To surrender worries and pains is to get rid of something negative, but to surrender my best laid plans seems like giving up something good and healthy. To do so sometimes takes more trust than I can muster, the trust that requires me to know deep down that God may, in fact, grant me my dreams, but that he also may have even better ideas for the days ahead.

Can we consider this reality – our best and most hopeful plans for this day and this next year pale in comparison to the creator’s plans for us? Do I trust his extreme generosity and tender mercy that much? To lay down not only my issues and faults and concerns, but also my dearest aspirations at the feet of the one who knows all, is the greatest act of surrender. Can we truly say, and sing, I Surrender All?

January 2

We Tortured Souls

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

There is a name for us. They call us tortured souls, those of us who wander, who search far and wide for something… else. We are all of humanity, and we are sick with thirst. We look normal and healthy on the outside, and all seems to be going well with us, but deep down at the core, we hurt, and that hurt causes us to harm others without intent.

Some of us have an inner restlessness, a heart that taps nervously on the door of our chests, and eyes that dart back and forth, always searching for that something, that thing that eludes us, and we rarely even know what that something may be.

We drink too much or eat too much or sleep too much or work too much or play too much or use too much… since the god called More seems to be the answer to it all, at first. More is never the answer, only another illusion, only the beginning of the end.

Tortured souls live in the past, trying to blot from the record what can never be undone. We feel the ache in our heads from beating it against the unbreakable glass that keeps us from going back and changing things, but then we foolishly strain our eyes to look through it yet again, and tap the glass with our bloody brows once more.

Some of us try to live in the future, having a love-hate relationship with tomorrow. What if… Those two words haunt our dreams, and steal our days as well. Fear is our Task-Master, always demanding that we stay awake, and work and work to manage a future that does not even exist yet, and probably never will.

We tip our hat to Gratitude, as we pass it by, faking a smile in its direction, pretending that we find it important to us.

We tortured souls, populating the whole world, all searching, hoping for the one thing that escapes our grasp – Peace. We want the peace that will give us rest, finally. We crave the serene moment that can only be found in the now, the moment we pray will last forever. We tortured souls want to be at peace with ourselves at last, with you, with everyone, and with our Creator. So, we keep looking and striving to find it, lifting every rock we stumble upon, with tired and achy arms.

The peace we long for can only be given as a gift by its Prince. It is effortlessly presented to tortured souls with needy hearts and open hands and bended knees. He hurts for us and has been waiting and waiting for us to see, that we’ve been groping for something we didn’t even know we wanted, and looking in all the wrong places, and to only weak and empty sources for what we would never find there. We have wasted our days grieving over those who are now gone, willing them to return to us and give us what we once had… and we have hoped for some future someone who cannot possibly possess what we need the most. Yes, He aches for us, and He invites us:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

There is one place, one moment, one source of what you are searching for, and He is a person, a relationship, and you are one of us. Reach out and accept His peace, and be tortured no more.

January 3

That Old Bag of Rocks

David said to Saul, Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him. Saul replied, ‘You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a young man, and he has been a warrior from his youth." 2 Samuel 17:32-33

Look back. I dare you. What do you see through the foggy glass into your past? What stands out the most among the ruins of your days gone by? Do you see the years in an unfulfilling job that was never your dream position? Were the years wasted? Do you see only mistakes and sins and failures galore? Do you see pain and trouble inflicted upon you by others and by the world? If these things are all your eyes care to see, then you are like most everyone else walking the earth, but there is a better way to gaze into yesterday.

For most of us, the past is only an invisible bag of rocks. We drag it around wherever we go, weighing down the love we could be sharing, pulling at the joy that is rightfully ours, ruining sweet relationships in the present… All so unnecessary. None of these things was ever intended by the Maker.

David, at the end of his life, could have been the most miserable, troubled, depressed, guilt- ridden soul who ever lived, had he chosen to see his past in the common, sick way. A good king, an adulterer, a murderer, a gifted leader, an imperfect father, sometimes weak, sometimes strong, on and on we could go.

But when we put on our spiritual glasses, the picture of his past looks strangely different.

One day, David took a stone out of that invisible bag of rocks he dragged around and put it right between the eyes of his arrogant enemy. As it turned out, his terribly unfulfilling job as a sheep herder had honed his skills, sharpened his eyes, and shaped his muscles and his courage to fight lions or giants. His loneliness in the countryside during those years had given him time to build his faith and his love for his God. Who would have thunk it; but it seems that herding sheep is a lot like leading people.

In God’s eyes, David was not an unfulfilled failure. His past had a purpose. The king’s darkest days were soon used to illuminate our world. The shame of illicit affairs and the grief of a lost infant broke the man, and pain did its teaching, as it always does. If not for those painful days, the Psalms would not be so rich. We would not have Solomon, and therefore, not have the greatest piece of wisdom ever penned by a human, the book of Ecclesiastes. Our whole world is different because of David’s past. You and I are different because he chose to let God take his dark days and turn them into a bright light for us all to see and live by.

So, look back again. I dare you. This time through the lenses of the Spirit. Now what do you see? How you view it is up to you.

January 4

Happiness

And the people set out from the Desert of Sin… they quarreled with Moses and said, Give us water to drink… why do you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst? The Lord answered Moses, Go out from the people, take in your hand the staff with which you struck the Nile… I will stand there before you by the rock of Horeb. Strike the rock and water will come out of it for the people to drink. Exodus 17:1-6, selected texts.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. These are our inalienable rights as Americans, according to the Declaration of Independence, and two of the three are actually biblical. Jesus is life, and surely it is for freedom that Christ set us free. But happiness? Happiness, my friends, is overrated, at least as one of the ultimate goals of our existence.

Throughout the pages of scripture, we are never commanded, allowed, or encouraged to pursue happiness. Do you wonder why such an important concept for us today is barely mentioned in the Bible? Likely because the pursuit of happiness in this life is all about Self, and like all self-centered endeavors, it is a fruitless dead-end.

Pursuing happiness in this world is much like searching for water in a dry desert land. The more you crave it, the thirstier you get. Once the mouth goes dry the mind then follows, soon becoming sickly creative. Mirages appear everywhere and comfort seems right in front of us. So, we become single-minded, walking, and crawling with all effort to the source of our hope, the illusion that will vanish as soon as we get close enough to touch it.

Happiness, like water, must spring up from underneath, from sources that have always been. Happiness is free-flowing, abundant, when we make our homes near ancient streams. It comes from the most surprising places, even from the center of big boulders that the Father taps with a stick.

Happiness cannot be obtained, at least not for long, but it can be given. Ironically, it just seems to happen when we simply do what we are told. To strive for, to walk, to crawl toward the greater pursuits leads to the well more quickly. To love others well, to serve, to give away the self instead of catering to it, and to surrender fully to the will of the Creator in all ways – these things tend to make a happy day appear as quickly as a mirage vanishes. It is one of those emotions that are secondary to obedience, the kind you don’t get to have until you don’t want it so much anymore.

They say that happiness is a choice. I don’t know about that. Obedience is a choice, and happiness is just a by-product. The willingness to become useful to others is a choice, and a smile is its consequence.

So today, instead of praying, God, why am I not happy? Instead try, Lord, relieve me of the bondage of self today, that I may better do your will. Show me which rock to tap with my cane, Lord, and I will swing away.

January 5

Not So Great Expectations

And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20b

Expectations – that thief, the one who promised to be a friend for life, but steals from you just a little at a time.

When we go to our jewelry drawer looking for our Peace, our most precious adornment, and find it missing – we should know the one who robbed us of it.

When you get in the car to go to work in the morning, the expectation is that it will start, and then there’s that day when it doesn’t. In that moment, where did your peace go? Stolen.

When you have that common expectation that you will be healthy for months, even years to come, it seems rather reasonable and fair, but then the call from the Doctor drops you to your knees. Where did your peace go in that moment? You’ve been robbed.

The most common of all expectations, that we will be together with the one’s we love most forever. Then the most dreadful reality of life comes true… that there has never been any relationship in all of history that lasted forever. Divorced. Dissolved. Dismissed. Death. All relationships end in one of these ways. And on that day, where did your peace go? The thief!

How, then, do we keep our peace, and wear it around our necks more days than not? What is the answer?

Admit the truth… that Expectation is not your friend at all, but only a sneaky enemy who knows nothing else but theft.

To begin the day with no expectations at all seems such an odd idea, an impossible endeavor. In some ways, it is practically unlikely. However, as the number of days we ignore our feeble expectations increases, our peace increases at the same rate.

If you don’t believe it yet, consider how Jesus lived. He seemed to walk this earth everyday with only a couple of expectations – that His Daddy would love him and that the Spirit would guide him moment by moment. Read the gospel stories again and see for yourself. Most times he started the day having no idea where he would be sleeping that very night. He had no expectations, only that there would be a loving guide all day long, and that His life would be filled with useful purpose when He followed his Guides instructions.

And to begin each day with the genuine prayer of the heart that surrenders, Thy will be done today, Lord. – What else does that mean but that we are completely abandoning our expectations for the day? That we are giving up our ideas of how our day should go, and admitting God’s total control over every detail of our lives?

It is only in this surrender that our peace returns to us. Suddenly others around us do not have to behave the way we want them to, but we free them to behave as they choose… as it should be. Suddenly our car doesn’t have to crank, work doesn’t have to go smoothly, and life itself doesn’t have to go our way. In other words, suddenly, God can be God again, and we don’t have to be. There are few things more peaceful than giving up our attempts to manage the universe.

Strangely, in the end, we come to the realization that we have never been robbed at all, but have been victimizing ourselves the whole time by expecting every detail of life to go according to our measly will.

Do you want your peace back? Then make the choice to stop victimizing yourself with all those expectations for how things should go, how people should behave, and how the universe should treat you today.

If you want your peace back, lay down all those expectations at the feet of God, and ask that your will be done, Lord, not mine… and mean it.

January 6

Relativity

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills on a balance? Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge or showed him the path of understanding? Isaiah 40:12-14

When Albert Einstein died in 1955, Thomas Harvey, a pathologist, opened the cranium and removed the genius’s brain. They took pictures, weighed it, cut it into slices, did scans, counted neurons and glial cells, and in the end, Einstein’s brain was, statistically speaking, not much different from anyone else’s brain. Certainly, the physicist had superior intelligence, but those who knew him best, who watched him work and listened to him talk, said that it was not his brain, or his ability to hammer out complex calculations that was his greatest strength. It was his imagination, his mental creativity that truly set him apart from all others. It was his refusal to think like everyone else wanted him to, to take a firm stance against conformity to the established way of seeing the world. He stubbornly refused to be boxed in by any rules of the well-entrenched scientific or religious culture around him. No one would tell him what he should think or how he should think about anything. Yes, he suffered severe social consequences for his refusal to be limited by traditions and norms.

Einstein did not single handedly change our perception of the universe because he was smart, he changed everything because he was free.

He would imagine something, see it in his mind, and be certain of its truth, even though it would sometimes not be mathematically proven until years later. Because of this great thinker and his bravery against conformity, we now know the power of gravity, even able to bend light around an object of large mass. We have nuclear energy. (And atomic/nuclear weapons, and he later despised being a part of their discovery). Without his mind, we might not be able to travel through space, land on the moon, or even use our GPS systems. We now know why black holes are black, and that even time itself is relative, a stubborn illusion, as he would say. When he told the world that time itself would slow down the closer we came to traveling the speed of light, nearly everyone said he had lost his mind, but he did not care. We now know he was right. Everything, or just about everything, is relative to our perspective.

The Creator made all things to reflect his glory, his mass, his greatness, his love. If he gave you a heavenly voice, then your songs should be sung to him. If he gave you strong arms and back, he expects you to use it in service to others who do not. If he gifted you with wealth, then your riches should be used as a blessing to those who have little, or are in trouble. If he gave you the gift of great intelligence, he desires that you think, that you glorify him by shattering myths, crushing ignorance, and enlightening the rest of us. The presence of a great mind is a calling from the Creator to change the world through thought. We all have our gifts, granted from above, is it not time to start using them for the purpose intended?

Note to my two sons, for whom this book is written: Boys, let no one, no church, no religion, no organization, no culture, or no individual ever dictate to you what you should think or how you should think! Never, ever let anything or anyone, not even fear, limit your thoughts or your courage in expressing them openly (but lovingly). Your mind should be boundless like your God! I pray that your minds grow towards being as imaginative and as creative as the One who created them. You were formed with his hands, and in his image, so continue to seek to be like him! Touch like him, see like him, think like him, and most of all, love like him. It takes great courage to be strange, to be different from the rest, to be big. But our Creator is big! So be like him, more and more, as time goes by.

January 7

My Life as a Rose

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11a

Why in the world do I crave so much attention? Or maybe not attention as much as approval, or what we psychology types like to call validation. While I usually do not care to be the center of attention in a room, or in front of a crowd, I do seem to need very much for you to like me. Sometimes I need you to validate my worth and inner beauty by telling me all about it. I sometimes find it at least a little disheartening when I consider the lengths to which I’ll go to shape your perceptions and opinions of me.

Is it supposed to make me feel any better to look around and see that I’m not the only one? Everywhere you look, people are buying bright yellow sports cars, nicer houses, getting in a tanning bed, getting their nails done, or their hair done, or… other things done. We fill gyms to gain muscle and diet to lose weight, and eat salads when we want fried chicken, and why? So, we can just be healthier, right? Na. Who are you trying to fool?

Then there are the evidences of our neediness that are less obvious, the conversations in our heads. We wonder what someone we just met is thinking about us. Did I look ok? Did I sound foolish? Why did I say that?!

Why can’t we understand that we are simply beautiful as is? To believe or say anything other is an offense to our Maker. Inner and outer beauty, divine gifts to all of us at birth. Is it God’s fault that our perceptions of beauty are skewed by standards set in Hollywood and Madison Avenue?

This is the core fact: You are lovely, inside and out, because the One who made you is lovely on the grandest scale, and He can create nothing but beauty. Our beauty is inherent because it is inherited from the Heavenly Father above. If those around you can’t see it, then it means you are somehow working to sabotage it, or cover it up, or they are just unfamiliar with the brush strokes of the Creator. Like an ignorant and selfish little boy who visits an art gallery for the very first time, he simply cannot appreciate what he sees yet. Because another can’t see your beauty, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Consider the words of Angelus Silesius, the old German mystic, poet, and philosopher of the Franciscan order, who once wrote – The rose is without ‘why?’ It blooms simply because it blooms. It pays no attention to self, nor does it ask if anyone sees it.

It seems that beautiful things need not call out for attention. If you need one person’s vote to validate your beauty, then 100 votes or 1000 will never do!

We arrogant souls. We think that the rose blooms so that it can be placed in a vase to brighten our homes, or cut down and gifted to our lovers. But no, the rose blooms only for its Maker, to bring a sweet smile to His divine face and sweet aroma to His nostrils. The rose finds its supreme pleasure and purpose only in pleasing Him in its brief moment under the sun.

May our lives be as simply beautiful as the rose.

January 8

Mud Pies and Open Eyes – Part 1

His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, Isn’t this the same man that used to sit and beg? Some claimed that he was. Others said, No, he only looks like him. But he himself insisted, I am the man. How then were your eyes opened? they demanded. John 9:8-10

Once there was a time, when the Light of the World happened upon a man who had never seen light at all, a man born blind, and the Light had great compassion on the man who lived each day in complete darkness.

Jesus knelt to the ground and did a strange thing – He spit in the dirt, and made mud with his own saliva. Then He took the mud and rubbed it into the eyes of the man born blind. He told the man to go and wash in a specific pool of water, a natural spring with a name meaning, The one who was sent. After washing, the man rose up out of the water, suddenly able to see all the brilliant colors of the spectrum for the very first time.

To this day I have no idea why Jesus spit into the dirt, but I know that I have some gapping wounds in my soul that could use one of those mud pies.

Another oddity of the story was that the blind man had no idea who Jesus was… at most, he had heard rumors. He didn’t choose Jesus, but the Master sure chose him. Quite the fortunate soul! He seemed to have stumbled into amazing grace, well, like a blind man would.

Even after being interrogated by the Pharisees, who by this point wanted to kill anyone who said Jesus might be the Christ, the expected one, the poor man who just wanted to go look at some flowers or a mountain or see a sunset for the first time, confessed that he really had no idea who this fellow Jesus was. Maybe he is a prophet, is all he could say.

The Pharisees pushed and pushed, insisting to hear lies instead of the truth, as all Pharisees tend to do. They questioned the man relentlessly and even called for his parents to confirm his identity, but when they could uncover no lies or trickery, they demanded to speak to the formerly blind man one more time. They desperately shouted at the poor man, By God! Do the right thing. We know this man is a sinner!

And with his new-found sight, and the threat of death for blasphemy looming, the man answered the Pharisees with simple, humble, honesty, Whether he is a sinner or not, I do not know. One thing I do know, I was blind but now I see. (v. 25)

Do you think you should know a lot about God to experience God? That’s a nonsensical and erroneous teaching of some churches. The blind man proved you could know nothing but the results to begin a walk with Jesus. Bible training, memorizing catechisms, going to church and worship… these things do not come before a true encounter with Christ, but after. First, you bow before Him, admit your poverty, and lift your greatest need to Him with humble heart. Let Him then do what He does best… Heal, Love, Light your world. Then, stand and follow Him for the rest of your days.

January 9

Mud Pies and Open Eyes – Part 2

Then they asked him, What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes? Then they hurled insults at him and said, You are this fellow’s disciple! We are disciples of Moses. We know God spoke to Moses, but as for this fellow, we don’t even know where he comes from. The man answered, Now this is remarkable! You do not know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes to see. John 9:26-30

The darkened windows to the poor man’s soul were opened wide