Shadow in the Light

By Alex McCann Johnson

Thousands of years ago, a tragic love story brought about the dreaded Darkness. Alex was one of the first of two shamans, and it was his love that allowed an ancient being into the world, causing a curse that would last hundreds of lifetimes. Now, in the present day, Alex has learned that the Darkness has been awakened once again, and he is the one to stop it.
The return of the Darkness marks the last of Alex’s lives and possibly the end of the whole spirit world. With the help of his spirit guides, Alex must learn the secrets that connect our world to the other side in order to rally much needed support and end the age-old battle between good and evil. However, to succeed, Alex must make a terrible choice.
He has to choose between a love that has lasted since the beginning of time and the salvation of creation and beyond. Tragically, he will learn that it can be easier to embrace darkness rather than light, which will destroy all the good he has created. Alex has history, and he wishes to honor that history—and that love—but at what cost? As he fights to hang on, he might lose everything.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Mar 27, 2018
• ISBN: 9781532044205

Alex McCann Johnson

Alex McCann Johnson was born and raised in North Dakota. He has always been fascinated by myths and legends from all over the world, and that fascination played a central role in his quest to learn more about our world and this life from both a metaphysic and spiritual perspective. Alex is also the author of Shadow in the Light, a finalist in the International Book Awards LGBTQ category.

Book preview

SHADOW

IN THE

LIGHT

ALEX MCCANN JOHNSON

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SHADOW IN THE LIGHT

Copyright © 2018 Alex McCann Johnson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-5320-4419-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-4421-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-4420-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018903733

iUniverse rev. date:  09/09/2019

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

1

CHAPTER

ON A DARK NIGHT, surrounded by the pitch-black furnishings in his apartment, a young man sat, staring out the window. A storm had just passed, and the power had yet to return. It was calm and quiet for him, a rattle of thunder now and then to ease the eerie silence. Accompanying the noise, a white shock would come from the lightning dimmed by distance, leaving the room even darker and causing the eyes to have to readjust.

Thoughts of the previous days, months, and even years passed through this his thoughts, and with them, the whispers pushed him into finding out what to do in the following times. Life would be difficult with every decision, but that was life: it was never meant to be easy.

The door opened gently, and the shuffle of shoes sounded through the apartment. A soft female voice echoed. Hello?

There was no response from the young man.

Hello? Alex?

After another minute, the girl turned on a light—a sign that the power must have come back on—and walked through the hallway. It was clear she saw him, and she started to walk to the living room where he sat. Alex, are you okay?

It took him a moment to stop his spiraling thoughts. He looked up at the girl, smiling his fake smile, hoping that it would be enough to hide the torrent of ideas within his mind. Hey, sorry, I was just thinking. What’s up? You’re home early.

It was slow, and then the power went out, so I hurried to clean. Want to watch movies tonight? She smiled at him with a sense of excitement at such a simple hobby. The hall light shadowed her features. Even then, he knew her body well. As slim as Rebecca was, she had the muscles of a farm girl. Her simple use of makeup never faulted her appearance, as she had the natural beauty of a woman of Russian and German descent. Even in the dark, her figure was well-remembered by him, a man who did not enjoy looking at women.

He could not help but shift to face her. I think I’m going to bed. I still have to pack before I leave on Thursday. Are you coming out tomorrow?

She moved around the couch and threw herself down next to him. She tossed her long legs on top of his and made herself comfortable. Of course, I’m going to try, but who knows if I’ll get off work in time. Jordan has to work too, so I don’t know what is going on, but I’m sure he won’t mind if I go.

Well, I know Naomi is going to be raging for me. He stood, sliding her legs gently to the floor, and started to head to his room. Dinner will be at seven, and then we’ll go out after Trivia Night. Come if you want.

He walked into his room and shut the door. Taking off his clothes, he crawled into bed and continued to think about what it was that he was going to do. Only two years ago, he had studied and had become a certified hypnotherapist. It was this reason that he was leaving for Washington in the morning. A simple hypnosis session had brought out an interest in shamanism that he needed to check out.

He awoke to his teacher, a Shaman who was the greatest in the land and last great teacher who knew the ways of the Condor. The sun had yet to stir, but the jungle had come alive as the village people started moving around. Little did the people of the tribe know, today was the day that the teacher had been anticipating, knowing that a significant change was about to occur.

He grabbed his medicine pouch and followed his teacher as he did every day. By the time the sun greeted them, they would have reached The Sun Spot, a place deep in the darkest, thickest area of the jungle where a small opening had allowed sunlight to enter. It allowed a little clearing where Ahau, the teacher, believed that only good would shine from the sun, and always prevail against the dangers of the darkness that dwelled in the jungle. Not even the tiniest of insects would dare enter the clearing.

Ahau sat down at his usual spot, a dark-skinned elder with ancient symbols drawn all over his naked body. Where he sat, the place where the sun would first hit the ground, was a sacred space for him. To him, it was a way to get closer to the Sun God. His first messages would come then with the warm beam of light. The young Shaman sat in front of his teacher, not stirring, only listening to the jungle speaking its words by a form of nature: whether it be the sound of the wind or the wings of a bird, anything worked.

When light indeed did show upon Ahau’s face, the old man smiled as he sat. The bright ray of shimmering sunlight lit up the old man’s features, weathered from the elements and age, nearly making him appear to be a statue basking. For minutes this occurred, the Shaman soaking in the wisdom the warmth gave. The man finally slouched, a movement to show he was done receiving the Sun God’s message.

He said, In trying times you will receive the knowledge of the Sky People. They have shown me the ways of the Condor, and they will allow me to teach you, yet not in this life. You will go to the highest mountain where the entire world is yours to watch over. It will be in the last life that you succeed.

Ahau, what is the meaning of this trickery?

The man frowned a little, yet not showing the actual sadness he would speak about. The time of our empire is done. We have seen this day coming for many lifetimes. Today, you will leave this place. Follow the hunter’s trail. From there, you will leave to the mountains. Live out your days in nature and become one with it. You will find the knowledge you seek, but in another life is when you will understand. I will always be with you, child, and you with me. When we meet again, you will have much to learn, but you will save your people from the darkness that is to come. My only warning is not to follow him into the darkness. Let the Sun God keep you safe. Let His light always shine on you. If you fail and you follow your heart into darkness, you will never be able to learn of the Sky People and the ways of the Condor. Keep your purity of heart. Now, run.

With hesitation, the young Shaman stood, looking at the darkness around them. A moment later, he heard the screams of his villagers. He looked in the direction of the village, and then back at his teacher. Ahau, come with me. Holding out his hand to help him up, Ahau declined. Please, Ahau, do not let this happen to you.

Ahau did not attempt to move. If I am to join my teachers, I am to wait here. I will watch over you. Your journey starts now. Be gone with you.

The screaming from the village got louder, and a faint sound of movement in the jungle disturbed him. It was never like him to not follow the commands of the Shaman, but for once, he did not wish to obey such an order. After a few moments, he saw Ahau’s face slowly wilt into a saddened expression. He could not help but plead for his assistance. Please, Ahau, don’t make me shame myself. The village will need us.

The old man shook his head. There is no village to return to. Everyone you know is already doomed, as am I. Now, leave. The man waved his hand abruptly for his apprentice to depart. Or you will never see the light of the sun again.

This time, he felt utter defeat. He turned away from the village and his teacher and ran. The darkness of the jungle was disturbing; his view limited to what he could reach at arm’s length in front of him. Fighting against the cold dimness that tempted to steal his sight and spirit, he felt his feet scrape on unseen branches. At one point, he heard a growl, but it soon faded.

For days, he ran. The jungle had become somewhat more pleasant again, as he was out of the thickest area. Light shone through the trees. It was the farthest away from his home that he had ever been. Cautiously running past neighboring villages unknown to him, he tried to flee from any veiled threat. It was surprising how many dangers that could include: animals, people, and creatures of horrid origin lived in the jungles. Without allowing himself to feel the ache of his muscles and pain in his feet, he just kept pushing himself forward to where he believed he would find safety.

His journey had only just begun. With the end of everything he knew, he started again. Someday, his route would cross paths with his teacher once more. He would wait for that day, and he would prevail against whoever tried to lead him away from the light. He would never submit to the darkness that surrounded his very soul, no matter what it took.

Alex woke, his chest tightened in a knot. The cold sweat was there, one that made a person hesitate even to breathe, as if a fearsome figure had risen in the night, leaving some instinct telling the person to wake up. He could not get his tormenting dream out of his mind. He wished to learn about shamanism. However, there was still fear in his heart at the idea of it all. He wanted to learn all that he could. He couldn’t help the cursing oath that slipped from between his gritted teeth, turning onto his other side and trying to go back to sleep, squeezing his pillow tightly. He had dreamed of that past life many times since his hypnotherapy training.

2

CHAPTER

WE’RE HERE, WE’RE QUEER, get used to it!

He watched Naomi wave her hands in the air as she yelled. With her looks, she could get away with shouting that on the streets of Williston. Being of Romanian descent, Naomi had darker skin and the best smile of anyone Alex could think of, other than a guy that did not cross his mind so much these days. She was wearing a high-fashion dress that was short and black, and she let her long brown hair flow to the sides of her shoulders. Walking into a local bar, she looked almost out of place; but anyone did in this town, as 70% were from other areas of the world.

A short, skinny African-American man yelled those words after her. Deion always dressed like some hipster, but he tried to act as ‘gangster’ as he could, being one of the only African-Americans born in Williston. Deion was very well groomed with a high-low fade hairstyle and his facial hair trimmed nicely. He jumped up with energy and then smacked Alex squarely on his back. Dude, you’re gay! Now we can use that to get me some chicks. He leaned in and said in a much quieter voice, Which means you should just try to get Naomi to sleep with me. If you do, I can try to work on getting Garrett to strip for you!

Alex laughed at the ridiculous thought about his friend Garrett, a guy he always felt a connection to. As much as he was attracted to Garrett, there was no talking Naomi into it, and he did not want to. You know she’s taken, right?

Shaking his head, Deion turned toward Naomi with a grin, brightly asking, You want to cuddle? I know what Naomi spelled backward is.

She laughed, knowing that he was serious but also knowing it would never happen. Oh, shut up. Bryce wouldn’t like that very much. I wouldn’t either. She laughed again. I’m going to start sweating.

Come on, Naomi. A few hours with me and you get all of this. You’ll sweat for other reasons than just being in the spotlight! He waved his hand to indicate his body. I’ve been working out just for you.

Oh my god, Deion, shut up! You’ll get me in trouble. Bryce will never let Naomi come out again! Alex moved between them, distracting the two from their playful tiff as he lifted his hand. Deion’s confidence always entertained him. Let’s drink!

This is the best coming out party ever! Naomi chimed in again, a grin on her face. We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!

Hours later, the road was rough. Alex had only a couple hours of sleep before he hurried and left. A sixteen-hour drive seemed horrible, let alone with a hangover that would put many to bed for the day. Every couple of hours, he would have to stop and puke, but he was quick to drink fluids and take some anti-nausea pills that would help with the pain. At one point, he had to stop and take a nap before going any further.

Making it to the mountains was his first exciting moment of the drive. Once he passed St. Regus, Alex couldn’t help but stare at the beauty before him. Mountains and forests continued to be the blessing to his eyesight, a sight he did not get to see so often when he lived in the flatlands of North Dakota. Lookout Pass was one place he truly loved. Going up the mountain and then down, but paying attention to traffic so that he didn’t crash, he could not help but steal glances as he drove. With only a couple hours left of his drive, he was feeling the effects of sleep deprivation. One nap had not been enough for his hangover.

The night before was still heavy on his mind. His coming out party was a success, and it seemed as though everyone had fun. Deion had even made a stripper cry when he was telling her about Alex’s coming out. Coming out of the closet was a tough subject for her, as her brother had recently done the same and had not been accepted by the rest of her family. She hugged them both and ended up leaving the area to fix her makeup—the joy was too much. From then on, the party continued throughout the night until Deion got on the microphone at the DJ booth.

Deion walked on the stage. I have an announcement to make. He waved his hand at Alex. I would like to read the words of a man in this room who has overcome some crazy shit. Deion was not the man to censor himself. He grabbed his phone and everyone looked at Alex, all smiling as most knew Alex personally, but Deion continued while looking at him. It wasn’t even my idea to read it. You can blame the owners. I’m supposed to mention that they would like to tell you that they support you.

Naomi chimed in, We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it! The crowd repeated her.

Ok, now let me get on with it so I can get off this microphone. He let out a chuckle. Since Alex isn’t going to read it to us, I’ll try to do him justice. As Deion was getting ready to read, Alex could not help but shy away to the bar to get a drink.

Deion started. Try to pretend this is Alex’s voice. There was another quick chuckle from Deion. It is as follows: Before I begin, I should probably mention that everything is fine with me. No need to worry. In fact, this is a good thing. I am happy with my life and of what I’ve become. I should probably tell you in person, but we all know I am so much better at writing what I feel than actually saying how I feel, and this will give you room to think before we next talk.

Truth is, I have wanted to say something for years, but I was not ready. I’ve lived my life to help people, to gain knowledge, to make the world a better place, and to love those who have come into my life. I understand everyone has their own beliefs, but I have always tried to accept everyone as they are, because, simply, it is who they are. Now, here is a chance for me to tell you about me and who I am.

I’ve been struggling to tell you this for years, as I stated before. I am at a place in my life where I am finding out who I am and what I am meant to do. So, I will tell you first and then try to explain. I am gay. This is probably not a surprise to many, if not all of you, as I know many of you have known for a long time, but we just did not talk about it. It is not something that changes me. I am still the same man you have grown to know and everything about my life will not really change much.

I am not here to challenge your beliefs or fight for gay rights. I am doing this for you to understand me, to get a look into the person that I have kept hidden for so long. If this does seem to challenge your beliefs, I am very sorry and that seems to be unfortunate but know that I did not choose this, or I do not believe I did.

I heard today about a man who was asked why he chose to be gay. The man’s response was simple but challenging for the other man to comprehend. The response was, When did you choose to be straight? This response has helped me in understanding that there is no reason to hide what you are, especially when it is not a choice. I have come to terms with this, and I hope you can see now why I am finally opening up about this, because I am not ashamed of it.

"When I was little, I wanted to be so many things as all kids do. I wanted to be a marine biologist and make sure to buy grandma a house on the ocean where she could be close to me where I worked. I thought the world revolved around me. I was a monster child, yet a peaceful baby, as was stated on the Christmas cards. The best