A Book of Barberisms

By Barberist Bob Barber

The author often writes and speaks using metaphors and satirical statements. He calls these barberisms. He usually discusses real-life situations in business, education, and life in general and often draws similarities between them. He attempts to discuss serious issues with humor whenever possible. This book is a compilation of the authors writings and speeches based on real-life situations that he has experienced. While the book is serious of purpose, it is hoped the reader will find the humor in his many barberisms and can directly relate many of them to their own life experiences in business, education, and life in general.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 14, 2017
• ISBN: 9781546220879

Barberist Bob Barber

Barberist Bob has been a successful business leader and educator. He has traveled throughout much of the world and has many experiences that helped define the person he is. His experience as a corporate leader of a large organization and as a college mathematics professor gives him a perspective on business, education, and life in general that he wishes to share for whatever it may be worthand does share when asked to be the guest speaker at business, education, and community forums.

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© 2017 Robert Barber. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/13/2017

ISBN: 978-1-5462-2088-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-2087-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017918976

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

When we open our eyes, and see the beauty of nature in all of its forms…we are able to see the inner beauty of ourselves. The beauty of nature is to hear the music and rhythm of its sounds…see the majesty of its forests and mountains and rivers…smell its many fragrances…touch the softness of its petals…ah yes, taste the sweetness of its varied fruit.

We, the beloved and thankful grandchildren of Grandma Barber, dedicate this book…our life…to her. She delivered us into this world and has been with us ever since…both physically and spiritually.

Though she passed on from a physical presence many years ago, she still lives in our hearts and minds every day. From her lofty position above, we still feel the love and wisdom she continues to cast upon us. Her lessons were simple: never say an unkind word to anyone; if you have nothing of value to say, remain silent, keep your mouth shut; to comport ourselves in everything we do in life with honesty and integrity; to live a life with the highest moral compass guiding us; to wake up each morning feeling love, not hate; to add value to the world we live in, not just take from it; to bring joy to others.

Grandma, you are our moral compass. It is you that still lives within us to guide our respective trains of life with dignity and purpose. It is your values…your morals…your ethics…that we try to share with others. We are grateful for your many sacrifices for us. You influenced so many.

The following is an Ode to our Grandmother who took us on frequent trips to enjoy the wonders of nature.

An Ode to our Grandmother

When we open our eyes, and see the beauty of nature in all of its forms…we are able to see the inner beauty of ourselves. The beauty of nature is to hear the music and rhythm of its sounds…see the majesty of its forests and mountains and rivers…smell its many fragrances…touch the softness of its petals…ah yes, taste the sweetness of its varied fruit.

When we are in nature, we are with you, Grandma. It is you who helped us discover our inner beauty.

Your loving grandchildren proudly recalling the nicknames you gave to each of us.

Miss Murphy, Mr. Technical, and Herkimer

Barberist,

Bob Barber

A MathGuy

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For those who might be interested, Bob’s background includes the following:

* Retired Founder and CEO of RFP Analysts

* Member of Salisbury University Math Faculty

* Retired Head of a 2000 employee business

* Formed two Joint Venture Companies.

* Thirty years as a naval systems analyst.

* Executive Board Member of Maryland High Technology Council.

* Member of Economic Development Council.

* Member of Two College Advisory Boards

* Member of U of Maryland Business Advisory Board.

* Consultant to Maryland Higher Education Commission.

Contents

Introduction

Business Barberisms

Education Barberisms

Life Barberisms

Introduction

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Definitions:

Barberism: An opinion expressed in the form of a poem, a play, an essay, conversation, a simple declarative sentence, a picture, or basic prose.

Barberist: A person who expresses opinions in the form of a Barberism.

Caution: This book does not contain any curse words or explicit sex descriptions or off-color jokes or sexist remarks. Nor does it contain any racial nor ethnic slurs. Nor does it address politics or religion. People who know this author know that the above is not who he is. If you are a potential reader of this book and require some of the above…this book is not the book for you.

Barberist Bob is currently a mathematics professor and is a retired corporate executive and business founder. In his spare time, he enjoys writing. He writes in the hope that he might inspire others to be successful in their personal as well as professional life. Of course, he writes for his own enjoyment and expresses his viewpoints in the way that makes him happy…and with the hope that the reader will be entertained…perhaps smile a little.

Many of Barberist Bob’s Barberisms have a satirical underpinning…not classic satire, but a comical view of serious topics and issues.

According to Wikipedia, "Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself into improvement."

Barberist Bob does not wish to ridicule or shame or in any way abuse anyone…like Tartuffe was prone to do in the great work by Molière, The Misanthrope. He merely likes to take on issues that are commonly discussed at the office water fountain, in social media and at neighborhood cocktail parties…usually in a comical way but with a more serious underpinning. The word Barberism is an attempt to provoke a smile or a laugh.

Bob is not a writer, though he likes to try. He is not afraid to try different forms of writing and has published a book of poems and essays. He has written, produced, and directed a two-act play on stage to a live audience. The audience actually liked it. It was a satirical play about a father trying to conquer an addiction before losing his family. A serious subject, yet there were many laughs throughout the play.

The rave reviews he got was an inspiration for him to write more but trying out different forms of writing. In this book, the reader gets it all.

He prefers to call the writings in this book Barberisms.

A quick example of a Barberism is as follows:

The person who said that getting old is great…is only 21 years old.

Of course, a young person thinks it is great because they want to quickly move through the early stages of life…to become an age with two digits…then a teenager…then of driving age…then of drinking age…then of voting age.

Just wait until they reach the age of 39 and see if they want to become 40? Bob has been 39 years old for 39 years. Oops!!! That was another Barberism.

Ask an older person, a person on the other side of 39, if they think getting old is great. As a senior citizen himself, He understands that aging is an inevitable part of life and adjustments must be made. But, getting old is not great…in the sense a younger person might view it…yet aging can still be