Moving On

By E. L. Wohlford

There have been different genres used for expressing my thoughts in poems, prose, odes, and snippets for my memoir that my family and others can enjoy reading.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 14, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524555023

Book preview

Chapter 1

During the early years as Carl Benson was growing up he learned how his father, Earl Benson, chose to put his life and ambitions for a different kind of life on hold. Earl has spent his time since his high school days and Carl’s birth working at the mine located in South Dakota. Earl started to work in the mine, as a teenager and as a volunteered by his father Warren Benson for weekends, when extra hand were needed or for other short periods of time. It was not a choice Earl liked, wanted nor could it be avoid while living at home.

Shortly after finishing school his plans for leaving were changed when he met and married Esther Amelia Morris. Now of course, this meant Earl had to stay with the work he did not enjoy, set aside his plans and dreams for leaving South Dakota. With the new choices he made the only option he could see was staying with the mine for his families sake. Having made those choices has kept him from following his heart but for staying and doing the right thing.

Earl is working in the mine but cannot say it is or ever will be his hearts desire. It has always been Earl has always had his heart set on leaving the mine and South Dakota like he watched as the other members of his family did after school ended for them. Earl had the desire then and would still like to see things come around for doing things differently in and though his life. None of his family had made the choice to stay on with the mine and it was not going to be his only choice either. At the time Earl was still attending school as he watched his brothers and sister leave to find their own niche. Earl watched them go and for opportunity to come knocking at the door saying Earl its your turn come along with me. Even so when his family was leaving Earl did not have any special reason, purpose, direction or even a good idea for what he would do if and should he leave his home.

Earl had not given much time or thought to what his life would be like after school, where he wanted to go, what he would do once he left the mine. Earl just knew deep down in his heart there was another way to make a living other than what he now finds himself bound to. Following in his brother’s footsteps was all that mattered and to find his own future. Earl could not leave because of his folks not being his choice but neither could he see a way to get things prepared for moving and making a life change. The choices Earl made were deemed appropriate at the time. Now Earl finds the choice has bound him to the life as a miner, like it or not. The choice was applicable for the moment but the facts remains the decision were preventing him from following his heart.

Little did Earl realize when the decisions to stay for his folks sake would ask him to put his life on hold for a longer? Still in all Earl has the hunger to go searching for that one special purpose but not knowing where he would discover it. Always knowing he would leave the mine and a fact that the new work had fill his life with so much excitement he could not wait to get up each morning. Then again at the end of the day Earl would like to see the work would leave him weary to retire and start the day over again. This to Earl would be the best reward for doing something he enjoyed.

Being the last child living at home Earl was still under the rules and obligations to do what his father asked of him. Working in the mine was one of the things his father, Warren, signed him up to do, as many volunteers around camp were being asked to do for short periods of time. When the volunteering was needed became a bitter pill to swallow. When Earl got to thinking about this experience because of his father influence over him gave him made Earl think this was not going to be his chosen work and nothing he would do for the rest of his natural life.

Earl was given this chance like it or not proved to his heart of hearts this was not going to work any longer than necessary. Before Earl could really make plans to leave home found he had compounded his life by getting involved with the new girl in school. This put going out into the world to seek his own fame or fortune as his brothers had done on hold.

Esther became the new girl in school and in Earl’s life. When Earl was finishing up the last days under the teachers thumb also vowed not to get involved with any of the girls because of his plans for leaving. Reckoning he only had seven months before graduation would be free go in search of his true calling.

With out thinking about the vow he made about leaving the mine Earl allowed the vow to slowly slip into the recesses of his mind. The vow had been a strong conviction and Earl meant to keep it until Esther came into his life. Earl purposed strongly girls were not going to be in his future any time soon. Girls would just slow Earl down for leaving home, doing something different with his life and as far from the mine as he could get. Knowing if he did get involved it would be his downfall, stay with doing the mining and that would not make him happy.

The temptation was greater than his will for leaving. Earl could not resist it and began to court Esther. Esther was a junior in high school when they met. Earl found after spending time with Esther he enjoyed her company. Earl could not let her go which he made retired his old plans and made new plans by asking for her hand in marriage. Now Esther’s father took the bull by the horns when Earl came asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage saying, I would like to see you have my daughter as your wife but not until she finishes school. With the answer given the only other option Earl had was to stay, work in the mine with the other men and it would help pass the time as he waited.

Earl and Esther married soon after her graduation. With one of the stipulation being to stay as long as there folks were working and living in the camp. It was decided against Earl’s better plans but understood how leaving would change things for the folks. With this and after long discussions they agreed to stay with the mine. The reason for their not leaving was because Esther put her foot down early on for not leaving the mine because of her folks. Earl soon realized he had the same problem if he left home after school. It would be like abandoning his folks with out a family support system. Still Earl loved Esther enough to sacrifice his wants and desires by agreeing to stay with the work until both their folks could find another road to follow.

Having made all the prior and what seemed wrong decision for following his earlier plans Earl finds himself and his future still at the mine. Earl knew the circumstance being as they were had been his choice but also knew it was not fulfilling his hearts desire. Not knowing just how long it would take for their folks to find the new path to follow Earl compounded his mistake by starting a family. It was not long after they married Esther informed him he was going to be a father. Earl was pleased to think about what a baby could add to his life but, not now. Why, now?

Earl continued to question the decision and is now seeing it as an anchor holding him in place, although seemingly reasonable for the time they were made but are now the same choices being used as evidence against him, for not seeing his way clear or finding a way out so the only other solution was to stay for the folks. For now and hopefully not long or becoming a total waste of time or time lost because of this situation Earl could not see clearly for find another way out, either.

Not that Earl wanted these feelings for being trapped by his most recent choices. Earl had succumbed to this as becoming his new life and future for a while longer. It had been Earl’s choice to push his druthers for another kind of future into the recesses of his mind and not think about them for some time. All Earl could do now like it or not was to wait, ride out this stormy time in his life or until things around him changed for making a different move. Earl realized now and after all the facts were in it was not his time to gallivanting around like a gypsy or to leave on his own with a young family in tow. So staying on with the work seemed the logical solution to his most recent dilemma.

Earl stayed with the work knowing deep down in his heart that his chance would come for finding and trying things new, different and that something special would take him away from the mine. Earl stayed with the for the two best reason any man could have while enduring the consequences until Carl reached a suitable age for walking and talking with cognizance.

Not thinking rationally Earl put him self in this spot and was not able to leave under any circumstances like the other member’s of his family had done after finishing school. Each of his brothers had made their commitment to leave after school, left as noted and on schedule. Should this lack in his maturity be held against him because he made a choice to do something he did not want and what could lead him to being the third generation of Benson’s to work in the mines. When Earl made his plans earlier they did not ever include thoughts for becoming the third generation doing the work for the rest of his natural life

Having heard the different miners telling about the possibilities from their past knowledge about mining accidents happening now and again caught Earl’s attention. So far nothing has happened at this mine but still one does not know when or if this could happen, even if unexpectedly and without some kind of warning to them. Earl was aware of the facts like this one and others surrounding his life in the mine but had made his choice. The miners have begun noticing small sifting of dirt coming through around the support beams. This small thing could lead to a cave-in if not taken care of. Then there were the other illnesses that seem to crop up in some of the men taking a toll and leaving them in a weaker condition.

Earl just knew there had to be something different for him outside the mine but not knowing just what? All Earl could do was rehearse the questions but still did not have the right answer for what kind work might be available nor was anything other kind of work being revealed. Earl had always thought and dreamed along the lines for being outside of camp doing that special work he felt was waiting. All he had to do find it. Then on occasion liked discussing the future with Nick Parks when they had time after work on how they saw things differently and especially for their families.

Nick often thought about and wondered if Earl had ever given time or thought for being away from South Dakota and doing another kind of work. The thought rested heavy on Nick’s heart until he felt the urgency to ask Earl about his future plans for leaving the mine or had he ever considered finding a new life or moving away to make one. All this inner turmoil was coming from Nick’s emotions somewhere deep down, heartfelt, real and a true conviction knowing if Earl was keeping a dark secret. In order to know for sure if Earl’s hearts desire was the same as Nick’s he would take it upon himself to bring up the subject.

During one of their evening sitting on the stoop for a visit Nick did take the initiative and asked, Earl, have you ever given thought to leaving here and going to a strange place? This was such a sudden and out of the blue kind of move it took Earl back for a moment. Earl did not know how to respond or how Nick could have honed in so well to what he thought was a well-kept secret. In answer to Nick’s question Earl said, "Nick how well tuned your heart must be to mine. That is something I have wanted to do since graduation. It has always been my desire to leave the mine like the others in my family have done through the years.’

Then you have had a dream of being in another place and time and not staying here for the long haul.

Of course I have. My life began to change drastically before I remembered my vow from high school had been for leaving and not look back but now I had made a mess of my life. Not a real mess but not following my dream for leaving. Yes, it has crossed my mind many times during the time I have spent here. The thing is, Nick, I have not found anything I would really like to do. Then while I was wavering I got married, we had Carl and I would not trek out into the unknown with a new family to start over. Oh, I know others have taken the risk and have stepped out in faith believing it could happen for them but it is not the risk I wanted to take. How about you? Anything you would have done differently?

Now this got Nick to thinking so Earl had dreams and had not shared them with anyone. Having revealed this much of his own revelation for being in another place and time Earl continued to state the fact that he would move in a minute if he had a better place to work and the sooner would be better than later. Just as, Nick had envisioned for Earl and about his future. From their talks Nick could see neither of them were getting any younger, either. It was just waiting for the right time, an idea to come their way for something different and for doing things differently. Was now the time or when would be the right time for them making such a large decision about changing their lives or about moving on and leaving South Dakota.

Earl answered saying, You know Nick this has been something Esther and I have discussed through the years. Through all the letters being exchanged by our families there has been little or nothing mentioned that has set our hearts on fire or answering our hearts desire for what we should be doing different nor did the letters contain any facts that would make us want to leave. Esther did, however, suggest before we married it would be nice if we could stay on while our folks were still here. As I thought about her suggestion I came to realize it would be like putting the folks in a small boat shoving them out into the water with out any safety precautions or the proper tools for doing things their way.

Nick had kept this his secret for along time about moving close to his heart hoping in his own quiet way he would able to make the move. He knew for sure and if his family was going to grow it would not be from one cabin to a larger one on these premises.

Nick said, This work is no longer my problem, Earl. You can see now that my family decided to leave camp when the day came around for them and they left. Each wanted to go in different directions to search out what would be something more suitable for them. Nick said for Earl’s information and the recent happening in his life was his folks leaving and returning home where they would be closer to family and friends who have been waiting for their return.

That has been my dream for our folks to be leaving and finding something easier for them to make a living.

It was their choice to move to make things better for them and to be with family and friends was a drawing card to get them motivated. They chose this move, making it work for them and have now moved on to make a better life. Now as far as I can see there is nothing to hold me here. With my folks gone I have come to think it is my time to find something to do that is rewarding as my future. You know I have dreamt of this moment since the other members of my family taken up the cross and moved on.

Earl could only say, It will be nice when time and opportunity comes around for me to be free of the mine. But for now I don’t know how much longer my folks are planning to stay. I would like to think my father would come to his senses before long and some how realize this is no longer the work for him. I have seen things change around him while doing this work and it is not getting nay easier but harder, heavier, more demanding on him physically and for one in their advanced years.

After talking over several months about their dreams the men are growing more serious about seeing, making and doing some things differently. Still with his hands tied so to speak Earl could not readily step out to see or find out how life could be outside the camp. Yes, Earl, also, knows his life has centered and revolved the birth of Carl and his days for reaching enough maturity for walking and talking. The hang up is now the grandparents living in the mine. This was the only safe anchor Earl could come up for not leaving and was holding him in this place.

Spring is not to far off. This has always been a time and season for men to get the itch for doing or wanting to see all things being different. The time and beginning of a new season where one awakens to or activates their old idea’s having put on the back burner for the time and their desire for being somewhere else, anywhere else but here in this moment. It was the desire for both men to leave South Dakota. In order to make this work and to do this there has to be something worth the change and give their lives real meaning. This was in some ways asking for a miracle.

Earl’s dream has always included getting up at a regular time, doing something different each day while making their living away from the mine, mostly somewhere else but not knowing where. For now Earl’s dream was to be in another locale, his destination was not established but uncertain and a real concern for his not leaving South Dakota for good. Dreams are still just dream, until you make something happen and believe this first step you are taking will lead to the dream becoming real. Mining came into Earl’s life early on and he has not had much time to think opportunities for making any kind of change.

Still Earl feels he can still have his dream and that the day will come and the future will be visible as to how he can make his life over, different and knows the opportunity was the right one, when the time comes and this something special revealed will be for him.

Their talks continued. Nick felt their conversations were leading to something more intense thought they were not doing anything about the dreams. Nick’s desire for them both was to want the same things, be in another place, which has been established the more they talked. Now that they knew they were not meant to stay with the mine it was on to what they would like to do when they left South Dakota.

The two would sit on one or the other’s porch weather permitting to discuss life in general, what progress their family member have made and continued to make, recent happenings in the local area, something from the newspaper about the world and its affairs, the price of grain or animals being sold with the prices going up or down like an elevator. Yet, all the topics were short lived as they moved readily along to things surrounding a possible future that could happen and for making them free to move.

Chapter 2

In the beginning the children would spend some time listening to their father’s talking and had taken the talks very seriously. For the most part Carl and Emily liked to sit and listen as their father’s spun their tales on what they would like to see theirs lives being on the different topics that seemed applicable. Then the children could not see anything happening to backup the tales discussed so to the children the talks had become pipedreams. The kinds of dreams one talks about but does nothing about to make them come close to becoming real. Without variation in the topics discussed nothing was being validated to go with the words spoken.

Without some kind of interest or change or purpose they let their interest wane. More to the point what the children got from the talks was to fill the time they spent together.

Then nothing happened to show the children their father’s talks were not serious. It did not seem to matter to the men what they talked about, what they heard or read, news from family letters, then on to what they would do if the opportunity came for them to be like the others and away from the mine. In the beginning the children took their father’s talks about the future for moving one just another topic to help their fathers to pass the time before calling it a day.

Then on the other hand Emily noticed her father was taking the letter from the Maxwell’s down for Earl to read. It was with this awareness Emily knew her father’s game plan was in the early stages but not ready for change. The Maxwell’s were friends to the elder Parks or Emily’s grandparents, who had moved on and were now living in Oregon. When the Maxwell’s had taken the initiative to move gave cause for their families to stay in touch. The only way to keep the promise was through the exchanging of letters. The Maxwell’s shared in their letters to Emily’s grandparents about their success as well as their failures, what they had learned and were still learning how to be one with the ground, or farmers.

This simple act of kindness was all it took for threading the needle through time sewing the facts together and for the other to see what could really happen with the stitches pulling the pieces of time together. This weaving of a tapestry was seen as each new letter arrived and past on to Earl. This simple act was conveyed by Nick’s sharing the letters hoping to get some kind of spark burning in Earl from see how moving on had changed things for them. Nick was really doing for his own good and to keep his dream alive and maybe the dreams could be real and not just pipedreams. It was the Maxwell’s sharing their own interest was to liven up the men’s conversation or maybe see how they could be enduring the Maxwell’s work habits, as their own. After Earl finished reading the letter Nick shared his views on how he would like to see things change and on to doing something like this for his family.

This did cause the flames to revive and begin to reach up higher to ignite the fresh wood being added to the already burning fire. Just those few thoughts shared for others to read on the pages was all the men needed to fan the flames, keep the spark alive as they discussed the news, rolling the wood over to set an idea to brighten up their future showing how things would be if they were to move.

At first, Carl enjoyed the conversation as he listened he heard thing of interest. Not saying a word Carl would take the information to school to see what more he could learn. There were so many topics to interest for the children to learn from and about the other options for making a living. Sometimes their father’s were prone to just reminiscing about the past, on to the future as new avenues were presented. These talks awaken new thoughts in the children for making them aware their father’s were becoming more serious about another kind of life.

So far the talks continue and centered around or on happenings for the day, the children could not phantom any thoughts their fathers were remotely serious about moving forward or a permanent move. Although the thoughts for moving held their father’s attention the longest, stayed with the topic the longest, delving deeper into the new facts presented and the one of greatest concern for their futures. Moving was not a new topic for either of them and were coming about on a regular bases. The only other and newest topic they seemed to get into was to find out how it would work for them?

When a new letter arrived Nick was only to glad to let Earl read it for him self. After Earl finished reading the contents of the letter they would discuss the contents. The news set about a new fervor within them for filling them enthusiastically for what the Maxwell’s were doing and adjustment they had worked through, decision for making or how they made them right or wrong and if it was wrong they would try again.

The children began to wonder why their father’s spent so much time on this one particular subject when they there were no signs for following through on what they were saying or doing. Moving was the only topic worth reviewing or for considering, as a real possibility? As far as Carl could see it was all talk. Especially, since they were not doing anything physically to make a difference in their lifestyle.

Carl could only think as a seven year old could. In his thinking the facts as he heard them were very simple for falling through on and for making a move. For Carl he lived here, that is to say in South Dakota and where Carl wants to stay unless, of course, Emily was to move away. Emily is Nick Parks daughter and Carl’s best friend. Emily and Carl are six and seven respectively. They are being raised during a time when children are to be seen mostly and not to question the adults on anything they hear. Yet they are at the inquisitive stage in their young lives and would like to know about a lot of things that were about to happen, being talked about, or could happen to any time to change their future, as they know it. Suppose, it goes along with the age, where the children were and what they heard at the time the talks were in progress.

When Carl and Emily were not out playing with the other children in camp, or up at the creek behind the cabins for wading or fishing they enjoyed time listening to their fathers discuss ideas on all kinds of things. The father’s seemed to evaluate the pros and cons on any given subject or situation as they verbalized any and all concerns openly. From these conversations the children got the idea nothing could be more dangerous than for their fathers than working in the mine. At least, in the mind of a child like Carl did not know there were other ways for making a living other jobs to be had that were equally as dangerous.

Emily and Carl did not understand or even what the point was for their father to even have the conversations. As Emily and Carl listened closely to the talks they were getting a geography lesson. Little did they know that at the time they are now living some of their personal history on a first hand bases. When a new letter was received at the Parks cabin Nick felt compelled to share any and all information. The two men tried to picture this new place, Oregon, by the description given but their imaginations were limited. In all actuality what was known about Oregon was written in the letters.

The pieces were not interlocking but they were still trying to put the pieces together as they discussed the information. With each letter the men were getting a better picture of what Oregon is like by the picture taking on shape in their minds. The picture of their future was getting better to see as they continued to unfold all the information with the letters. For Carl it was hard to think about moving or leaving South Dakota for any reason. But to think they might be leaving his only home for a strange place being far way was not setting very well within him either.

For as long as Carl could remember, in all of his seven years, his father had at different times and on occasion spoken about how he had not liked nor did he like anything containing the work in or around the mine at any time. His father was making moving seem like a good idea. Earl wanted to know how Carl would feel if they were to move and he would have attend another school in the near future. It was not like Earl to hedge or hesitate about moving or make any sudden change, even though he knew the change he was anticipating would be for a better life for his family in the long run.

Earl tried his best to explain to Carl that it was his job to go to school as any child should do and his work as the father was to go to work in the mine. This talk was supposed to help them to see the bigger picture, having a brighter outlook and a better future over repeating the mundane things they did not like.

It was Earl’s responsibility to provide for the family no matter or how unpleasant he found the work and to see that Carl was in school each day, on time and to answer the roll call when the teacher called his name. Earl tried to explain