Senior Year

By Lily Caverton

Senior Year is a memoir and a mature teen novel detailing a young girls very raw and personal struggles with mental illness during her senior year in high school. Seventeen-year-old Lily befriends the dramatic and intense Kelly Grange, a woman in her late thirties who introduces her to the new world of partying and alcohol. Due to her influence, Lily dramatically changes from an honor-roll student into a reckless party girl. After making decisions that alter the course of her life forever, she sinks into a deep depression where she experiences terrifying hallucinations and delusions that force her to question the meaning of life and her purpose. After nearly attempting suicide, Lily commits herself to a psychiatric ward. This novel is a true account of a young girl tainted by emotional abuse who is forced to learn excruciating lessons that ultimately test her ability to survive. Senior Year is colored by passionate friendships and dark secrets, the struggle to fit in with peers and how some decisions have consequences unforeseeable. Harrowing and emotional, Senior Year navigates the struggles many teens face today and the crises that so often catapult them into adulthood, sometimes long before they are ready.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 17, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524588519

Lily Caverton

Lily Caverton has been writing since she was four years old, when she used to hole-punch her books and tie ribbon to keep the pages together. She has always had a love for writing and is passionate about literature.Lily graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and is now pursuing her Master’s in Clinical Mental Health counseling. Among writing, she loves spending time with close friends, traveling, and meeting new people. She works as a Residential Counselor, hoping to use her personal as well as clinical experiences to help better the lives of individuals with disabilities and mental illness.

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Copyright © 2017 by Lily Caverton.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017903274

ISBN:   Hardcover            978-1-5245-8853-3

              Softcover              978-1-5245-8852-6

              eBook                   978-1-5245-8851-9

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 03/17/2017

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CONTENTS

Chapter 1 Kelly

Chapter 2 The Beach

Chapter 3 High Times

Chapter 4 New Friends

Chapter 5 Drama

Chapter 6 Eighteen

Chapter 7 Bad Decisions

Chapter 8 Grange Days

Chapter 9 Kelly’s Wrath

Chapter 10 Playing with Fire

Chapter 11 The Party

Chapter 12 Trouble

Chapter 13 Coming Down

Chapter 14 Breaking

Chapter 15 Fast Cars and Wasted Weekends

Chapter 16 Nothing Lasts Forever

Chapter 17 The Psych Ward

Chapter 18 Unlikely Friends

Chapter 19 Slowing Down

Chapter 20 True Friends

Chapter 21 Do Svidaniya, Zara

Chapter 22 New Chapters

This book is dedicated to my parents for always supporting my dreams and encouraging my love of literature.

I’d like to thank my friends—both past and present—for being such an integral part of my life and supporting me through everything! This book would not be possible without them. I’d also like to thank all my professors at my university for giving me the tools I need to succeed through life as well as believing in me.

I’d like to thank my publishing consultant, Jared Gutierrez, for all his help throughout this whole process and making my dream come alive.

I also want to thank my readers as you all have contributed to my first novel. Thank you for taking the time to read my words, and I hope this book inspires anyone who is struggling that there is always hope. No matter what, don’t give up.

CHAPTER 1

Kelly

I was sixteen when I met her.

The minute my father mentioned that he was bringing over his old friend from his youthful camping days, I immediately felt annoyed. We had literally just arrived at the camping ground, and he already wanted to introduce me to someone. Of course, at the age of sixteen, I could never be witnessed by human eyes without looking perfect; and at that point, I was hot, sweaty, and disgusting from trekking around in the woods all afternoon.

My dad and I had been staying at a campground in Pennsylvania for the ninth year in a row. When I was a small child, it had been a lot of fun; I lived for hearing my dad’s silly ghost stories and staying up late into the night, making s’mores by the campground and watching the stars fly out of the sky. But now that I had reached sixteen, I felt much too mature for the whole camping scene.

Now it was nothing but dirt under my nails and rain leaking through the tent. And I really, really didn’t want to meet this woman in the unappealing state I was in; but I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. My father was determined to bring the two of us together in a holy matrimony of friendship as he thought I could use another older, wiser female figure in my life. After all, I had been growing into a shy but stuck-up teenage girl who didn’t like anything besides European techno and designer handbags. My father, being laid-back and down-to-earth, had to stop me in my tracks before my obsession with anything overpriced took a toll on his wallet. What better way to loosen me up than to meet a grown woman who, my dad had promised, was as easygoing and fun as he was.

So not without a grumble or two, I watched with narrowed eyes as the woman pulled up to our campground in a big black Escalade. I self-consciously twirled a strand of sweaty hair behind my ear and lowered my sunglasses over my eyes. I hated meeting new people. I was ridiculously shy and never knew quite the right words to say when first being introduced to someone.

Come here, Lily, said my father, beckoning me forward like I was a small child. This is my friend Kelly from camp. He glanced at me nervously, knowing I wasn’t exactly loving this intrusion.

Hello. I reached out my hand, looking at my toes and trying to ignore the fact that she was probably judging my long grandpa shorts and oversize T-shirt.

Hi, she greeted flatly, her voice like a child’s.

When I finally had the nerve to glance up, I noticed that she was pretty attractive for someone who was old. At sixteen, anybody older than thirty was deemed ancient in my book, and Kelly looked to be on the younger side of ancient. Skinny as a toothpick, she had a dark, bronze tan and wide green eyes that seemed to see right through everything in me. She was very short, even shorter than I was, and had bright, unnaturally blond hair that hung down in a messy manner around her face. She was sort of hot for an older woman, and I glanced at my dad, giving him my sharpest look.

So you brought over another one, I muttered beneath my breath, unable to hide my frustration as if it was his fault he was a natural ladies’ man.

My dad heard me and narrowed his eyebrows. I glanced over at the woman to make sure she didn’t detect my verbal burst of teenage angst and was relieved to see that she was completely oblivious, yelling at her three young children who were tugging at her hands.

The eldest, a boy, was avoiding my glance as I tried to say hi to him. He backed away carefully before turning his attention to his sister, causing her to yell when he pulled one of her pigtails.

This is Cory, Kelly said in a passionate voice, pointing to the little boy who stopped chasing his sister and came to stand next to her.

The kid had dark-gold hair and flickers of amber for eyes and looked a lot like his mother, possessing her wide, toothy smile and her small, pointy nose. He was squirming in his mother’s grip, desperately trying to free himself in that embarrassed way young boys often do, and Kelly wasn’t having any of it as she forced him to stand still by her side.

This is Victoria, and this is Avery, she remarked flippantly, motioning to the daughters.

Victoria, the eldest girl, had hair as dark as coal and eyes that were a deep, chocolate brown. Her face was perfectly oval, and she had the beauty of a porcelain doll. Not bothering with introductions, she attempted to steal her elder brother’s McDonald’s play toy and succeeded, running away from him in a circle around her mother. Cory chased after her, screaming, Give it back! Give it back! over and over until I couldn’t even hear myself think.

And who are you, cutie? I bent down to the littlest one.

Avery, the youngest of the bunch who couldn’t have been any older than three, was holding her mother’s hand and staring up at me with huge green eyes, ignoring the mini-circus going on around her. She was pale and small and instantly reminded me of Boo from Monsters, Inc. She was the cutest thing I had ever seen in my sixteen years of life.

They’re a bunch of brats, Kelly added, winking at my father.

I was shocked. Who said such a thing in front of their children? But I was even more stunned by what she did next. With her cell phone in her hand, she suddenly ran over to me and gave me a gigantic hug, her busty chest colliding with my still-developing one.

It’s so nice to finally meet you! she said, gushing, her whole face breaking out into a contagious smile. Your father always talks about you. In fact, it gets kind of weird after a while.

I didn’t like her.

Um … it’s nice to meet you too, I managed, feeling awkward.

Well, I’ll let you two girls walk up to the bathroom and get your bathing suits on, my father suggested, tossing me my bikini that had been drying on the window of his car. Then we’ll head to the pool. He picked up Cory, the boy, and threw him up into the air, causing him to scream in excited fear. Could always count on good ol’ dad to break the awkwardness.

Turning to look at each other, Kelly and I began strolling to the bathroom, Kelly telling me some sappy story about how she used to camp with her dad and whatnot, obviously attempting to connect with me. I knew exactly what she was trying to pull—find a common ground with the kid and get her talking. I didn’t really care. I responded politely, but I was sick of odd, strange women having crushes on my father; and Kelly was just another one, the next in the line of swooning ladies. Take a number.

When we finally got to the bathroom and Kelly’s mouth had miraculously stayed attached to her face, we both immediately started screaming at the moths that fluttered around our faces as they rapidly flew down our shirts and got tangled up in our hair.

What the hell are these damn moths doing in here? she yelled, dancing in the middle of the bathroom floor and looking so ridiculous I had to smile. I had never seen a grown woman fly around the way she did.

They’re gross, I agreed, wiping one of the winged creatures away from my cheek and wiggling to the other side of the bathroom, where it was nearly moth-free.

Can’t even take a damn piss, muttered Kelly. It’s creepy in here.

Turning to me, eyes wide and mouth open, she burst out with the craziest statement I had ever heard anyone, let alone a grown woman, make until that date.

This fuckin’ bathroom smells like my mom’s damn old heels I used to throw out the window.

I turned around, feeling proud that I could finally shadow someone with my short height. Her mom’s heels? What was she talking about?

Why would you throw your mom’s heels out the window? It didn’t make any sense.

It’s a long story. She sighed as she tiptoed into the stall, her eyes wildly searching for more unexpected insects. I used to sneak out of the house all the time and borrow my mom’s heels. I had so many fuckin’ problems when I was your age.

I bet you did, I muttered as I began to urinate. She was in the stall next to me, singing some Bon Jovi song, happy as a clam.

You know Rob Hedge? she asked in that irritatingly high-pitched voice of hers. Was she seriously going to talk to me while we were peeing? Christ.

Yeah, I answered. I had met Rob, one of my dad’s camp friends, when I was younger.

So do I. When I went to his house, he tried to go to the bathroom with me. I don’t talk to him anymore.

I didn’t respond. What could I say to such a statement?

When we emerged from the stalls, Kelly started fixing her hair and primping her makeup, putting on an extra coat of cherry-red lipstick. I took a look at her wardrobe and did my evaluation.

She wore a black cotton T-shirt and trendy knee-length jeans, black sneakers on her feet to match. She had a silver watch around her wrist and silver earrings dangling from her ears. I had to hand it to her; she was dressed pretty nicely for a camping ground. I felt uncomfortable when I remembered the crazy concoction of an outfit I was wearing, and I silently hoped she wouldn’t judge me as lacking any fashion sense.

Your dad used to be my camp counselor when I was a kid. She threw the lipstick back into her black leather purse and stared at her reflection. I really looked up to the guy. I used to just follow him around everywhere like a puppy. She stopped talking and turned to face me. Awkwardly, I glanced at the ground, watching a dying moth try to spread its wings on the watery tiles. You look just like him.

You think?

I had always gotten mixed reviews when it came to whether I looked like my father. So far, it was I looked exactly like either my mom or my dad, although I was sure I didn’t look a thing like either one of them. My pop had blue eyes and a round face. My mother was tall, dark-eyed, and tan. Somehow I ended up pale, light-haired, and green-eyed.

Your dad’s a cool guy, Kelly continued, scaring me as she reached forward and took a strand of my hair in her hand. It’s so smooth! You’re lucky.

Thanks, I managed, still not being able to look her in the eye.

At camp, your dad was always the funny one, she reminisced as the two of us left the moth-ridden bathroom, ducking as they flew over our heads and letting the door creak loudly as it shut behind us. He was just hilarious. He’d tell the funniest jokes and stories. You’re lucky to have him as a dad. I mean, that guy was crazy!

I noticed that she had just about the biggest mouth I had ever seen on a woman, and it went perfectly with her nonstop chattering. She continued to gibber on and on about the good ol’ camp days and how my father was so freakin’ sneaky. Apparently, my dad used to play jokes on all the camp kids, such as putting frogs in their soup or throwing a sheet over his head, pretending to be a ghost. It sounded like my dad, all right.

I said very little. I didn’t know what to say. I had never met anyone like this lady before. It was almost as if she was a teenager trapped in a grown woman’s body. She was interesting, but I wasn’t just going to break down and decide to like her. I barely knew the woman, and although I could tell she was trying hard to win me over, I wasn’t going to hand it to her just yet. I had learned many times before to be careful who I trusted, and she was going to have to work a little harder if she wanted Jake’s daughter to adore her.

What took you guys so long? my father snapped when we got back, looking at me as if it was my fault that Kelly kept me trapped in the bathroom with her big mouth.

Your daughter’s great, Jake. Kelly smiled at me and patted my dad on the shoulder. Looks just like you too.

Does she? My dad looked surprised. I don’t see it. She’s lucky not to have my nose though.

Your nose is fine, Kelly assured him with that honey-sweet voice of hers, motioning for the kids to climb into the back of my dad’s car.

Taking the kids with us, Dad, Kelly, and I drove to the big campground pool a couple of miles away. It was situated at the very bottom of a huge, grassy hill and centered in the middle of the whole campground. Every time I had been there, it was always crowded with tons of campers of all ages anxious to cool off from the summer’s scorching heat. On this day, it was particularly hot, and I felt awkwardly chubby next to the super-skinny Kelly.

You have great legs, she commented as we spread a towel on the grass, looking me up and down as if I was a manikin, and she was trying to decide whether she wanted to buy the outfit. They’re so tall and long.

If I had liked anything about my appearance, it would have been my legs. My legs made me feel taller than I really was and much more graceful.

Thanks, I answered coolly, not ready to get all cozy with her yet.

Jake, Jake, take us down to the pool! cried little Victoria, jumping excitedly around my father, her hair flying in front of her face and getting stuck in her mouth.

Yeah, come on, Jake! I wanna swim! Cory agreed, joining his sister in her impatient dance.

Obviously, these kids had met my dad before.

All right, I’m gonna take the kids down. Kelly, will you be all right watching Lily until I get back?

Kelly and I both laughed.

Dad, I’m sixteen now, I reminded him in an agitated voice. I think I’ll be fine to sit here for a while by myself.

Jesus, Jake, the kid’s legal in some countries, Kelly agreed, giving me a look as if to say What the heck is he thinking? You need to chill out.

I nodded at her in approval, still feeling guarded. If she thought she could creep her way into my life just because she was one of my dad’s weird camp friends, she was dead wrong.

My father smiled and shook his head. Be good, you crazy kids! he said, and then he took all three of the hyper children down the hill to the pool.

I stared at my hands, awkwardly picking the grass between my fingers. Spending time with this stranger was going to royally suck. So how did you get back in touch with my dad? I asked, leaning toward her. I figured I should say something to her.

Kelly grazed her Chap Stick on her lips, taking out some tanning oil and rubbing it unnecessarily on her already brown legs.

Through a camp reunion last year, she answered in that high-pitched but strong voice. He was my favorite counselor as a kid. He was the funniest guy at Camp Starhawk. That man can make anyone laugh. You’re so lucky to have a father like him. Your dad is a great guy.

I know he is. He’s the best, I replied, still wary. She really did have it bad for my father.

So what happened with Kathy? Kelly asked boldly. I turned around sharply at the sound of that name.

What about Kathy?

Does your father ever talk about her anymore?

My parents had separated when I was twelve. Kathy had been my dad’s girlfriend for a couple of years, and they had just recently broken up. I didn’t know all the juicy details about their split, but I knew the two of them had finally gone their separate ways.

No, I said, trying to be nice even though I hated getting personal about my dad, he doesn’t talk about her much.

Doesn’t sound like you guys got along. Kelly laughed.

I shrugged, wishing she would stop talking about such private matters as she handed me the tanning oil, obviously shocked that someone as young as me could be so pale in the middle of summer.

I hate that woman even though I’ve never met her, Kelly went on, spreading more oil onto her bronzed legs. I went to a party at your dad’s, and she totally flipped on him because I was there. Bitch.

Who knew if this woman was telling the truth? Whether she was lying, the way she said it was comical, and I genuinely laughed at Kelly’s brazen language.

Why didn’t you two get along?

Well … it’s not really like that, I admitted. I think it’s just the whole daughter-hating-dad’s-girlfriend thing. You know, I was younger than I am now.

Oh, you don’t have to pretend with me, honey, cried Kelly, her eyes going wide with fury. I’m tellin’ you, you can be honest with me. I’m not like your wimpy dad. I won’t freak out if you’re left alone by a pool for two freakin’ minutes.

Now I was cracking up. This lady was pretty cool after all.

Your father is something else. Kelly shook her head, watching my dad throw Cory into the pool. God, I can’t believe I’ve finally met Jake’s famous daughter.

Sure, I agreed with a cautious smile, although I was beginning to actually like this woman, and I found myself feeling surprised by this fact.

Suddenly, I realized with a start that Kelly was staring at me, the sunlight bringing out flecks of amber in her green eyes.

God, you just look so familiar, she said, reflecting, cocking her head to the side and squinting as if trying to dissect me. Like I know you from somewhere.

I studied her face closely. She did look sort of familiar now that I thought about it.

Like I don’t know what it is, she went on, leaning closer toward me. There’s just something about you. Have we met before?

Not that I can remember, I answered, wracking my brain for answers as to why I somehow knew this woman. Wait, I said out loud, putting my hands to my face. Something inside me immediately clicked.

As if reading my mind, Kelly asked, Do you have a profile online?

Yeah … do you?

Yes! she replied, her eyes going watery.

You’re not Kelly Grange with the baby who has an eye problem, the one who used to be a journalist!?

You’re Lily, the girl who wants to be a writer when she grows up! She smiled her perfect, wide grin and clasped her hands around my wrists. I saw you through ‘cool new people’ and clicked on your profile! That’s so … destiny or something!

Then we both started hugging each other dramatically, amazed at the discovery.

A few months prior to this meeting, a woman named Kelly had written to me on a social media site, telling me how much I reminded her of her own self at my age. She wrote to me, saying how she loved my page and that she was a journalist. She told me about her daughter’s eye problems and the hell she was going through so that her baby, Avery, wouldn’t go blind. She had written very eloquently, and I had enjoyed having a brief conversation with her. I was amazed at the coincidence of finding her here, live, sitting right next to me, hugging me, in fact. It was like something out of a movie. It was like finding a long-lost friend I never knew I had.

I can’t believe it, she repeated over and over, a look of sheer excitement on her face. Jake’s daughter was that cool kid on the Internet! And now I’ve actually met her.

I had really begun to warm up to this Kelly Grange. She might have been weird, and she definitely had a thing for my dad, but she was also pretty cool.

How are Avery’s eyes? I asked, remembering the adorable little girl I saw in Kelly’s pictures. I looked down toward the pool, listening to the child squeal as my dad threw her high into the air like he used to do with me when I was that age.

I have so many problems with her, Kelly said, sighing. I wish I knew what to do. Me and my husband have taken her to all sorts of doctors, but no one can figure out what the fuck is happening to my daughter.

I’m so sorry, I said quietly. I hope she gets better.

She’s strong. Kelly then whipped out her cell phone from her pant pocket, texting random things to people and talking aloud as she did it, forgetting our conversation about Avery. When she finally put the phone down, she watched my dad with admiring eyes as he threw a ball to Cory, the boy dodging to catch it. This Kelly wasn’t so bad after all. She was a little immature for her age maybe, but she seemed like a good person anyway—maybe. I still was hesitant; I mean, I hardly knew the woman. But for some reason, I had a gut instinct that we were going to get along swimmingly.

Look how freakin’ fat I am, dude! she cried, pinching the tight skin on her thighs and laughing. Where’s my damn water? Sometimes water helps burn off the calories when it’s hot.

Are you serious? I snapped, annoyed because she was skinny, and we both knew it. You’re like a toothpick! Look at me! I started jiggling the meat around my thighs. Now this is fat right here.

Stop it! You’re thin, and you’re beautiful! Okay, it was official. I liked this woman. She had called me beautiful, which, at sixteen, was my favorite compliment of all time. Ugh, I feel so fat! Just look at me!

Are you anorexic or something? I asked jokingly.

I’m a recovering one, she replied, taking out a pack of cigarettes from her purse. I stared at my hands, feeling embarrassed.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—

Relax, girl, I’m getting better every day. She winked, giving me that wide smile. I know this might be a weird question, but you do know your dad loves you, right?

I liked the way she talked to me. She looked deep into my eyes like she was trying to read my soul. It was a bit off-putting since I had never met anyone who talked to me quite the way she did, but it made me feel important.

Of course I do, I answered. Why?

Why did your parents split up? she asked, ignoring my question. I hated when people asked me personal things, especially about my parents’ divorce; but for some reason, I didn’t mind it when Kelly did. I could see the lines beginning on her face of an imperfect life, and I immediately could relate.

I told her a little about my parents and explained some family problems, and she defended my dad to the core.

Your dad’s a great dad. As she said it, she was looking at him, totally oblivious that her kids had ran back up the hill and were sitting on the blanket spread next to us.

The campfire burned intensely that night, and the wood-scented air surrounded us like a warm blanket. The only light was from the fire we had all helped to build, that and the stars, of course. The six of us had returned to camp to relax, and I found myself actually happy to get to know Kelly more.

When my dad walked down the gravel road to the bathroom with his toothbrush, she and her three kids began making the s’mores, opening the box of graham crackers and ripping apart the chocolate bar wrappers. Avery, the youngest, looked up at me with that wonder children so often possess as she tugged at my hand.

Help me make s’more, she demanded, pointing to her graham cracker.

I smiled and bent over. Watch this. She darted her eyes back and forth as I put the chocolate in between the graham cracker.

She moves her eyes around because she’s trying to see you, Kelly explained, taking a puff of a cigarette.

Now I’m going to cook the marshmallow. See me putting it in the fire?

I twirled the stick around in the flames for a few moments, watching it turn to a crisp brown.

Yay! cried the little girl, reaching out to hug me. You made it!

I was so surprised and touched by this sudden burst of affection that I didn’t know what to say until Kelly broke in with a question.

Have you ever been drunk before?

Not really, I replied, which was the truth. Sophomore year, my friends and I had tried alcohol and gotten just enough to make us dizzy. We had decided that none of us liked the awful-tasting stuff, and I had promised myself that I would never drink, let alone get drunk. After all, drinking was stupid. All it did was make people act like morons, and I resolved to never let myself get trashed.

Well, I brought some daiquiris with me for the special occasion of meeting you. Come here, Kelly summoned me over to the wooden table where the large icebox was, digging in and pulling out a pink bottle.

It looked exciting; and as a ridiculously shy girl, I figured that maybe, a drink would loosen me up a bit. I reached for it eagerly but then threw my arm back down at my side instead.

I shouldn’t, I decided weakly, waving my hand at it. It looks good, but I don’t drink.

Kelly cocked her head to the side and squinted as if she couldn’t believe her ears. Babe, it’s okay, she admonished, waving the bottle temptingly in my face. A few sips of a daiquiri won’t make you sick, especially not this kind, if that’s what you’re worried about.

I considered. Maybe a little wouldn’t kill me.

It won’t make me drunk, right? I asked, feeling babyish.

No way, she promised. You think I’d let your dad see you drunk? Just don’t drink the whole thing.

I grabbed the daiquiri from Kelly’s bony fingers and watched her laugh at me as I struggled with the cap.

Here, babe, she said with a grin, let me teach you a trick. She put the bottle between her legs and somehow managed to pull the cap off with her crotch, some of the liquid flying into the air and spraying my face.

Oh my god! I cried, impressed at her abilities. How did you do that?

She shrugged like it was a piece of cake to open a bottle with your crotch and handed it to me, her eyes capturing the flames from the campfire. Just an old trick I learned a while ago.

I took a satisfying guzzle of the daiquiri and was pleasantly surprised by the taste. It wasn’t nearly as crappy-tasting as the rum I had sipped my sophomore year, and I found myself hurriedly taking another sip, afraid that Kelly would take it away from me too soon. I was shocked that this woman would let me have alcohol behind my dad’s back, but I wasn’t going to complain about it. She didn’t see me as a little kid, and I liked that about Kelly.

Hurry up and finish it before your dad comes back, she ordered, looking behind her at the path to make sure he wasn’t coming. He would kill me if he found out I was giving his precious baby daughter liquor.

She winked, and I smiled. The daiquiri tasted sweet to my mouth, flooding my taste buds with a sensation I wasn’t used to. I drank half the bottle before my dad came back, but I still was feeling like my usual unsociable self, so I walked behind Kelly’s car and drank the rest.

We all sat by the campfire for a while, making s’mores and chitchatting. The daiquiri had relaxed me and definitely helped with my awkwardness, but I wasn’t even light-headed. I was somewhat disappointed that I hadn’t gotten rip-roaring drunk that night and wished I could ask for another daiquiri, but I knew that was pushing it; one was enough for the night. My father didn’t notice and was happily whistling and throwing more twigs into the fire, oblivious to my rebellion. Kelly and I glanced over at each other every so often and giggled. We had our own little secret now that nobody else knew about, and it made me feel closer to her.

After a long time of talking about their wonderful days at Camp Starhawk, I decided to attempt a shot at getting to know Kelly’s children.

So you like your s’more? I nudged Cory, who had marshmallow all over his chin. He nodded without looking at me and stuffed the rest of the s’more into his mouth.

Observing the boy, I noticed that he enjoyed two things the most—fighting with Victoria and eating. He was a skinny boy, yet he ate the most I had ever seen a kid eat in my entire life. He had eaten six s’mores before I had even finished two.

How about you, Victoria? I smiled warmly at the little girl, who had her arms crossed over her chest. She responded by scrunching up her nose and throwing the remainder of the s’more into the dirt.

Guess not, I muttered, trying to hide my hurt feelings at this rejection. I decided to pardon her for her obvious contempt. After all, she hardly knew me, and it must have been as strange to meet me as it was for me to meet Kelly.

Liking your s’more, Avery? I asked the youngest, trying not to laugh at the fact that she was practically wearing hers.

She nodded slowly and gave me a wide, chocolate-filled smile, the gooey substance all over her cheeks and nose.

S’mores are my favorite, I added, taking a bite of my own.

Me too, she answered, tufts of Shirley Temple hair spread across her forehead.

I watched silently as my dad held her in his lap, Avery staring up at him in admiration and picking the whiskers on his face. The two looked so adorable together that you’d think he was her father.

Your birthday’s coming up, he reminded her in a soft voice. You’re gonna be a big four-year-old soon. What do you want me to get you?

She chuckled, her eyes large and round. S’mores!

Laughing, he tickled her and put her back down so that she could go back to her mother. Kelly was texting away on her cell, oblivious to anything that was going on around her. I listened to the click, click of the keyboard as she typed, wondering who she was talking to and if she was gossiping about Jake’s weird daughter, Lily.

I decided that I didn’t care whether she was talking about me as I’d probably never see her again anyway and settled down into my fold-up chair with a yawn. This had been a pretty good day after all, and now I was ready to enjoy the night, letting the charms of the woods invade my senses. I listened carefully as the breeze made small howling sounds beyond the shrubs, and the tree frogs chirped incessantly like they were trying to be rude. The flames crackled as gnats wandered in and out of the fire, the smoke pushing them away. Everything was warm, fuzzy, and pleasant; and never had I enjoyed company as much as I did at that moment.

I like this night, Victoria mused happily as if reading my mind.

Me too, I replied, surprising everyone with my voice. I had been very quiet as usual, and when I spoke, they all looked at me like one of the frogs had started talking.

This night sucks, Cory broke in, ruining the moment. I didn’t get to swim in the nighttime like Mommy promised.

Shut up, Cory. Kelly winked at me.

I smiled back, something passing between our eyes that seemed to bring us closer together. I felt a kind of warmness inside, and I knew right then and there that I had somehow made an unlikely friend in this hilariously ridiculous woman. I knew that there was a chance I might never see her again as my father had many friends who walked in and out of his life, but I also knew that I secretly hoped this would be a friend he would keep around for a while.

And that was how I met Kelly Grange, the woman who would change the course of my life. Before Kelly marched into my world as loud and obnoxious as a Mummer’s Parade, I had pretty much given up on my adolescence, hoping material possessions would replace the missing feeling that was inside me all the time, that pervasive loneliness that seemed to never go away no matter how much I willed it to. It didn’t help that I was hopelessly self-conscious and insecure, never seeming to fit in anywhere, especially not at school. I stuck out like a sore thumb, and it wasn’t because I was popular.

I wanted my classmates to like and want to be around me, but I didn’t know how to reach them. The ugly fact of the matter was I didn’t know how to make people like me. I didn’t know how to be outgoing or charming or how to say the right things at the right times. I hadn’t had many good memories of high school so far, not like everyone else did. I wasn’t the popular girl who couldn’t wait to throw the latest party or the chick gossiping loudly with her friends in the hallways, gushing over some boy. Needless to say, I wanted a different high school reputation from the one I had built so far. I wanted to be funny and well-liked. I wanted people to laugh with me, to tell me jokes and stories, to invite me to parties. Something was missing; something wasn’t quite right. There had been a piece ripped out from inside me that no amount of designer handbags could replace.

I was craving something I never had, something I didn’t even know I needed until I was blessed with it. And Kelly came into my life at the exact right time, a time when I needed a mentor, a time when change was a welcome relief in the middle of my atypically boring teenage years. She was that part of me that I had been struggling to find, the person I had so desperately wanted to be. Kelly was exciting, she was cool, and she was an adult who saw me as an equal. She was like magic, leaking through my darkest clouds and touching my world with a blazing fire, bringing me to life, something I could understand, something I could grasp. She brought the scared, insecure child that I was out of her shell and opened new, exciting doors.

She changed everything.

Up until the day I met Kelly, I lived my life like I was half asleep, unable to experience any emotion other than contempt for the world I was forced to grow up in. Kelly Grange opened up my eyes and forced me to see the people around me, forced me to look at my past and my future in a different light. She made the difference I craved, the difference I needed in my youth. She opened up a world to me that I had never noticed, that I was completely blind to until she came waltzing into my life like a neon sign. She made me see. And for once in my miserable teen years, I didn’t feel so alone. Little did I know how much my life was about to get flipped upside down in the most thrilling of possible ways.

CHAPTER 2

The Beach

That same summer, I saw Kelly again.

We were staying at a family friend’s beach house about fifteen minutes away from Ocean City. We called it the beach house even though it wasn’t exactly on the beach, but it still had that classic nautical feel with seashells on the tables and sand on the floor. I adored that house and had stayed there a few times over the course of my life, every year bringing a new friend with me; this time it was Crystal.

Crystal, a year older than me, was very pretty with her dark skin, glistening brown eyes, and big smile. She was always my go-to girl, and every time I wanted to have a little fun, Crystal was the first person I’d think of. We had known each other since middle school when we met during a rocking-chair contest at our youth group (don’t ask), and we had always gotten along really well.

We’re finally here! I cried when we arrived, throwing myself dramatically onto one of the beds in a spare guest room. I just love this house, don’t you, Crys? It’s just so beachy chic. I spread out my arms and made a blanket angel, feeling the smoothness of the comfortable, fluffy mattress against my skin.

Yeah, this place is really nice! agreed Crystal, looking around the room in admiration. I can just picture us right now down on that boardwalk, gettin’ those boys, going to a party. Crystal had always been the boy-crazy one out of the two of us, and guys were drawn to her sense of humor and beauty.

Well, my dad isn’t going to let us stay out late enough to go to a party, I confessed, closing my eyes and letting the soft covers envelop me, but we can definitely meet some boys!

Excited, the two of us began planning our adventures, just as my dad walked in.

Found the room, huh?

Yeah, Dad, I said, trying not to roll my eyes, obviously.

Okay, kiddos, I’ll let you unpack and get settled. But just before he left, he turned around and added, Lily, do you remember Kelly, that woman who used to go to Camp Starhawk with me? You met her at the campground.

Did I ever. Yeah, that weirdo who was like all over you.

He ignored that comment. Well, she and her kids are coming tonight. They’re going to spend a couple of days here too.

I sighed and let myself fall back into the bed. I had liked Kelly a lot, but I didn’t like the idea of her coming to spend the night. I wanted it to be just me, Dad, and Crystal like we had planned it from the start. Kelly and her loud mouth would only be intruding, messing up our plans. Why did she suddenly have to show up every time my dad and I went anywhere together?

Who’s Kelly? Crystal asked, taking a few shirts out of her neon-purple suitcase.

She’s a friend from a camp I used to be a counselor at, my dad answered quickly. Nice woman, but she’s kind of different.

I laughed at that. Oh, she’s different, all right. She’s cool but really weird, I explained to Crystal. Does she have to come? I asked, frowning and crossing my arms over my chest.

I invited her, so she’s coming, my dad answered simply.

It’s okay, I said to Crystal when my dad left, his heavy footsteps clomping down the stairs. We can just go to the boardwalk and ignore her.

During the day, Crystal, Dad, and I went to the beach to catch some sun and waves. It was nice to just relax and not have to stress over homework or school. Crystal and I sat comfortably in our beach chairs, sipping orange soda and staring at the seagulls that were flying overhead. I put the book I was reading on my stomach and closed my eyes, contemplating what my junior year of high school would be like. It was bound to be exciting; I was almost seventeen and would be getting my license that year. I prayed that my junior year would be my best year of school yet, considering the past two had been so dull I might as well have been in elementary school.

Come on, let’s go swim. I motioned to my friend.

We got up from our chairs and ran into the ocean, my arms spread wide like a bird’s wings as if I was Rachel McAdams from The Notebook. The day was perfect—sunny, clear, and not a gray cloud in the sky. We entered the water boldly, trying to ignore the initial chill. The waves crashed into us, knocking me to the side, reminding me of the power of nature. Every time I was near the ocean, I always felt a little sad; yet it was a peaceful, haunting sadness that reminded me of how small and weak I was in comparison to the gigantic sea.

I just love the ocean! I cried spiritedly, ducking my head into the water and pulling it out quickly, gasping from the shock of the cold. Don’t you just love it? It reminds me of everything good that’s ever happened to me!

Yeah, and there’s so many hot guys in the ocean today! That was my Crystal, always thinking about boys.

I wonder what’s in store for us, I mused, brushing a piece of seaweed from my arm. Like what’s going to happen to us in the future, Crys? Do you ever wonder?

She shook her head. I don’t know. I do know that whatever happens, it’s bound to be good. I’ll be in college next year, and you’ll be a senior. I hope senior year is amazing. It better be after all the hype. You know, it’s supposed to be the best year of your life.

I breathed in deeply and let myself float in the waves a moment. I still have to get through junior year first. Crys, are you scared to become a senior?

She giggled before a nervous look crossed her face. Kind of, yeah. Everyone says how awesome it is. I don’t want to be disappointed if it sucks.

I stood back in the sand. I haven’t liked high school very much so far. I hope junior year is better. But I can’t wait to be a senior. You’re so lucky! Then you get to leave that stupid town and do your own thing. You’ll be like all grown-up!

I guess. She sighed, the nervous look still on her face. I want to grow up, of course. But then I think about what being an adult is like, and I don’t know if I want to be one.

I laughed. Who didn’t want to grow up? Are you serious? The only thing I want to do is grow up! It sounds so sophisticated—paying bills and being on your own, dating, and stuff. Think about it, in ten years, we might be married!

Now it was her turn to laugh at me. That makes one of us. I plan to enjoy the single life until I’m forty.

That’s not a bad plan either, I agreed. Wow, Crys, senior year. That’s going to be so cool. I’m jealous.

It’s supposed to be your make-or-break year, she said, looking up at the sun. They say if you have a really good senior year, that means you’ll have an amazing love life, and if you don’t, well, there are always cats!

That’s ridiculous.

Senior year, she repeated, a sly smile spreading across her face. I just hope I can survive it.

When we returned to the house, the three of us took our showers and dried our hair, Crystal and I anxious to get a taste of the ocean nightlife.

We are going to look hot, I told my friend from the closet where I was getting changed, choosing to wear my orange tank top with my white shorts and sandals. I just wish Kelly weren’t coming. I mean, she’s really nice and all, but I kind of just wanted it to be the three of us, you know?

Yeah, same here, Crystal agreed as I emerged from the closet. She was wearing a Capri-blue shirt and a jean skirt.

Well, we’ll still have fun at the boardwalk, I said optimistically, going to the little window-shaped mirror and dabbing some blush on my cheeks. There are always cute boys there anyway.

When Crystal and I were finished getting ready, we bounded outside and hopped into the car. My dad drove us into Ocean City, playing Bruce Springsteen the whole way there and only stopping once to fill the car with gas. I was happy that we were twenty minutes away from the beach as I enjoyed the