Slippery When Wet

By Geoff Dickinson

Slippery When Wet follows Mike Tyler, the villain from the novel Jinxies Wish, to his new life in Hong Kong. Mike Tyler leaves the UK and goes to Hong Kong to try to revive his career in publishing and to start a new life.

Security expert Jack Beecham goes to Hong Kong on vacation and to meet with Joe Tan to look at his personal and business security needs. Joe is an electronics manufacturing genius with a major empire but is troubled by security threats to both his business and his family. Joe makes Jack an offer he cannot refuse, and Jack moves to Hong Kong.

Mike settles in well as a publisher of consumer magazines in Hong Kong and initially reverts to his old habits of being manipulative and devious to pursue power and glory.

Mira Tan, the beautiful daughter of Joe, is an editor on a womens fashion magazine. She is smart and headstrong. Joe would like his daughter to work in the family business, but she insists on working in magazine publishing despite her fathers disapproval.

Mike sets about trying to romance Mira as he can see a fast-track route to riches. Despite Mikes initial bad motives, he falls deeply in love with Mira. To Mike and Jacks surprise, they develop a friendship and everything is looking good. Jack falls for Joe Tans PA, Lanie, unaware that she and her son, Gary, were plotting revenge on Joe and his family.

Mike is caught in bed with Lanie by Joe, and everything falls apart for Mike. He loses Mira and his job, and his whole world falls apart.

Mike and Jack uncover Garys plot to seek revenge on Joe and his family, and they are forced to unite to try to protect the family. Will Mike and Jack prevail and save the family and will Mike manage to win Mira back?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Jul 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514499771

Geoff Dickinson

Having graduated from university in the early 1980s, I started my career working for a publishing company in London. It was a tremendously exciting time and quite possibly the heyday of magazine publishing. My first book, Jinxie’s Wish, was based on some of my experiences of working in publishing in that era. Set in London, during the 1980s, it reflects the hard-working, hard-drinking hedonistic culture of the time. My second novel follows the villain from Jinxie’s Wish to his new life in Hong Kong. Mike Tyler continues his devious ways and tries to worm his way into the affections of a rich and affluent young women. But when she and her family are kidnapped, he realizes that he loves her and is forced to try to save her. This is my second novel, and I hope you will enjoy it. I dedicate this book to my wife, Ruth, and my children, David and Mirna.

Book preview

Chapter 1

M IKE TYLER STAGGERED TO HIS FEET and Jack Beecham stormed out of the bookshop with his girlfriend Debbie.

Mike felt his nose—it hurt like hell. He was pretty sure it was broken and there was blood oozing from his nostrils.

Mike determined that one way or another he was going to get his bloody own back on Jack.

Jack and Debbie marched off down the street.

‘Why do you think that man insulted you, babes?’ Debbie inquired.

‘He’s a bloody lunatic, Debs, I had some real run-ins with him in London. He tried to sabotage my office once and I taught him a bloody lesson. I think he’s mental.’

Jack was determined not to let Mike spoil his holiday. He had worked hard over the past few months, but his security business was not doing well and he needed a decent break. He was in Hong Kong on vacation but was looking into a bit of business at the same time. He had been approached by Joe Tan to look at providing a private security detail for his family and his electronics factories.

Joe was an electronics genius. He had developed state-of-the-art factories in Taiwan, mainland China, and the Philippines, producing everything from components to complete computers and from circuit boards to mobile phones. He had contracts for many of the world’s leading brand-name manufacturers and was enjoying tremendous success.

Joe was well regarded and ranked amongst the richest entrepreneurs in Hong Kong. His success and high profile did bring some issues and there had been break-ins at some of his factories that had led to many of his innovative designs being stolen and copied.

If this was not disturbing enough, there had been a couple of kidnap attempts on his family. Joe knew he needed to take measures to protect the ones he loved.

His eldest daughter Mira had become a successful editor of a fashion magazine. This was a huge disappointment to him. He saw this as far too lowly a job for his brilliant and beautiful daughter. He had hoped she would join him in his business. Mira was bright, but she was incredibly headstrong and independent.

Everyone knew that Joe doted on Mira. As a young girl, she had always twisted her father around her little finger. She could be very sensitive even as a child, and when times had been tough, she had sensed it. When Joe would return home weary and depressed, she would go out of her way to please him. If he lay on the sofa exhausted, she would jump on top of him and give him a cuddle. She could always brighten up even his worst days.

Now Joe was a big success and he wanted the best for Mira, but she was her own woman now and wanted to run her own life.

Mike wandered out of the store and headed off to the restaurant. He was not in good shape, which was disturbing as he was meeting Mira for dinner. He had only stopped at the bookshop because he was ten minutes early. Now he was going to be late. Worse than that, he was going to look like he had been in a fight. This was definitely not going to help him in his bid to romance the lovely and very wealthy Mira.

His nose was still bleeding and his once crisp and perfect white shirt now looked like someone had sprayed it with ketchup. He dashed into a shopping mall and made quickly for the nearest menswear store.

As he entered the store, the assistant was not sure whether to offer to assist him or to call security.

Mike was in a hurry. ‘White shirts, size sixteen and a half collar. What do you have?’ he inquired.

The assistant was feeling pretty nervous. The man was dripping blood all over the shop floor and the only saving grace was that it was tiled, so it could be cleaned.

He offered Mike some tissues from the box on the counter. Mike gratefully accepted and stuffed some tissue balls up his nostrils to stop the blood flow.

The shop assistant then brought three different shirt designs and laid them out on the counter. Mike responded instantly and pointed to the shirt on the right and said, ‘That one. How much?’

‘For this shirt, I can give you a very special price of forty dollars.’

‘And the price is special because? Don’t bother to answer, just take off all the labels and pins and stick it in a bag.’

The assistant was a bit taken back by the gruff response from Mike but was certainly not going to argue with a man that looked like he had been in a violent struggle.

He did as requested and then Mike said, ‘Do you have a washroom?’

‘Yes, sir, but, it is staff only.’

‘Look, I am late for a date, so—let me use your crapper, and (a) I will give you twenty dollars and (b) I promise I will not remove this paper from my nostrils and bleed all over your counter. Does that sound like a good deal?’

The shop assistant decided to oblige, no point arguing with the British lunatic. Better to take his cash and avoid any store damage.

Mike was shown to the staff washroom and proceeded to try and clean himself up using some paper towels and the sink. He put on the new shirt and was quite pleased with the look and fit. His face was looking cleaner, but he had to keep tissue paper jammed in his nostrils as the bleeding refused to stop. He was sure that bloody madman had busted his nose.

He dumped his old shirt in the bin and wandered back into the shop.

The assistant, attempting to sound friendly, said, ‘You look very handsome, sir.’

Mike, still grumpy and charmless, totally ignored him and strode purposefully out of the store, exited the mall, and headed off to the Shangri-La Hotel.

The hotel boasted one of Hong Kong’s latest and most exclusive eateries—the wonderful, ornate, and supremely exclusive French restaurant Petrus. This was going to impress the crap out of Mira, but it was going to cost a bloody packet.

Mike entered the restaurant and approached the girl at the entrance.

‘Table in the name of Tyler for two in your best location, I booked earlier this week,’ Mike stated purposefully.

The girl looked at Mike and thought it somewhat odd that he had tissue paper sticking out of his bruised nose and the paper appeared to be soaked with blood.

Mike flushed a little red, appreciating that his appearance was possibly a little disturbing.

‘I slipped on the way here, and hit my nose—nothing to be concerned about,’ he stated in the hope that this would satisfy the check-in girl’s curiosity.

‘Oh, no problem, sir, if you need any help, please let me know. Would you like to go to the bar or would you prefer to go straight to your table?’

‘Bar, please, I need a drink and I have also told my guest to meet me there, so please direct her to the bar when she arrives.’

‘Certainly, sir,’ she responded and escorted Mike through into the bar.

The bar was very elegant, with art deco lighting, rich coloured fabrics and wall coverings, and an exclusive ambience. Mike knew he had chosen well.

Mike ordered a gin and tonic—he needed something to pick him up. His mind flicked back to the harrowing events of the last hour.

He had left his office in fine form, without a care in the world. He was even early and just passing some time in the bookstore. Then he saw it: a guaranteed way to spoil his day, a book in the bestsellers rack, by his nemesis and arch-rival—that tosspot Christian Davidson.

Well, that just pissed Mike off. He could not believe that the illiterate cretin Davidson could even write a book, let alone end up with a bestseller.

He stepped back from the display of books, burning with anger and raged out loud, ‘Thousands of miles from home, and I still cannot escape that fucking tosspot!’

Then incredibly to his shock and horror he saw Jack Beecham standing in front of him. Mike froze. What the fuck was that loony security yobbo doing in Hong Kong? Two seconds later, he felt Jack’s fist crunch like a baseball bat into his nose, sending him flying backwards into the display of books.

Next thing he knew, he was lying on the floor, surrounded by copies of Christian’s fucking shitty book, with blood pouring out of his nose. He was pretty sure it was broken.

Well, he had recovered well, and here he was in a new shirt sitting in the bar of the Petrus, drinking a calming G & T and waiting for the lovely and fantastically wealthy Mira.

At that moment, he caught the distinctive scent of her perfume in the air, and he spied her being escorted towards him. She looked amazing; it almost took his breath away—which was pretty difficult as he still had tissue paper stuffed up his nostrils.

‘You look radiant,’ Mike said, deliberately being smarmy but knowing that in fact she did look amazing.

‘Thank you, Mike. But, what about you? Are you OK? Your face—what happened?’

‘It’s nothing, just a broken nose. I saw some poor old lady being mugged. Some swine was trying to tear her handbag away from her. I jumped in to pull the bag back from the thug’s grasp, and as I did so, he punched me square on the nose, knocking me to the ground.

‘I scrambled back to my feet, but, he was already running off down the street. I think he knows that I would have given him a pretty sound beating. My intervention prevented him from getting the handbag and the old lady was overcome with gratitude for my little act of kindness. So although my poor nose has been battered, I am nevertheless feeling really pleased with my little good deed for the day.’

As Mike expected, it worked like a charm. Mira’s pupils dilated and her eyes were shining affection onto Mike’s battered face.

He should send that dickhead Beecham a thank-you note, he thought. The broken nose and his hastily concocted bogus story were giving him hero status with Mira.

Mira squeezed Mike’s arm. ‘You are a wonderful man. That old lady will always remember the hero that came to her rescue.’

‘Oh, it was nothing, any man would have done the same,’ Mike uttered with total false and invented modesty.

Mira asked for a glass of white wine and Mike decided to have another G & T. Things were going well. Mira was already falling for him and the evening was only just getting started.

They went to the table and Mike ordered a bottle of the 1985 Chateau Margaux Pavillon Blanc; it was bloody expensive, but hey, things were going well and he figured it was worth it.

He ordered the foie gras for his starter and Mira ordered the langoustine. The restaurant lived up to its reputation; the foie gras was incredible and just melted in Mike’s mouth and Mira said that she had never eaten a better langoustine in all her life.

Mike regaled her with stories of his publishing successes in London. He talked of how he had been the innovator of the first men’s lifestyle magazine that was today a huge success and now not only published in the UK, but under licence around the world.

She asked him why he had come to Hong Kong. Mike did his usual and went straight for a series of fabricated stories that made him seem both incredibly sensitive and wounded. He knew women loved sensitive men who had suffered cruel misfortunes. This combo was a total chick turn-on. They longed to have strong, sensitive men who had been hurt and were vulnerable. Their protective female instincts kicked in immediately. Once a woman felt there was a worthy man that she needed to protect—then she was done.

Mike told her that he had to leave the UK as the woman he loved had betrayed him. He told of how his love Lizzie had run off with his arch-rival Christian. Mira listened attentively and he could see in her eyes that she was deeply troubled by the pain she felt Mike had been forced to suffer from the betrayal of this terrible woman.

He talked of how Christian tried to steal his publishing idea by using information that he got from Lizzie whilst they pursued their deceitful relationship.

But, Mike refused to be defeated and got his magazine out first into the market. Christian, filled with fury, dumped Lizzie and then cruelly told Mike of her deceit.

Mike, distraught and betrayed, confronted Lizzie, who admitted everything and told Mike that she had never loved him. In a fit of rage, Mike decided to take revenge on Christian by doing some damage to his offices. But, Mike was distraught and confused and went to the wrong office, where he was apprehended and beaten up very badly. Very unluckily, it was a security business owned by a violent and unstable maniac, who beat Mike to a pulp and then deposited him naked at his place of work in the early hours of the morning. Once there, this madman Jack tied Mike to his chairman’s office chair and called the police.

Instead of supporting Mike, his old employers fired him, fearing that Mike had made an enemy of someone dangerous.

Mike had been betrayed by everyone—the love of his life and his employers. At one point he had thought he was on top of the world. He was with the woman he loved and he had created the most successful magazine launch of the decade. With his life in ruins, he had no idea how to go on.

He could see there was a tear in the corner of Mira’s eye. It was working a treat; he could tell that she just wanted to hold him and make it better. There was no question about it—he was a bloody genius. He could weave brilliant stories. He should have a bestselling novel. Not that bloody tosspot idiot Christian.

The main courses came and again the food was amazing. Mike had the rack of lamb. It was a house signature dish and was quite possibly the best lamb he had ever eaten. Mira had the lobster and said she was incredibly impressed with the beautiful presentation. Mike on the other hand was doing the math in his head and figured her main course was going to inflict some pretty painful damage to his credit card.

Despite the impending mega bill, it was all going swimmingly. He could see that despite his bruised and bloody nose, she was looking at his face as though he were an angel.

Mike was instinctively cunning and intuitive. He knew that with women, it is good to make them cry and want to care for you, but it is equally important to make them laugh.

He decided to bring his story into the present and to conclude it on a high and then move to some humour.

‘So it was with my heart and confidence broken, that I decided to seek out a new life,’ Mike said as he took his story to a close.

He told of how he had visited Hong Kong a few times and had always loved it. Mike knew she would like this; bigging up the city of her birth was always going to sit well, particularly as Mira had always spoken warmly of her home city.

Mike told of how he saw the job vacancy for Hong Kong and, within no time at all, dusted himself down and got back up again to take on the world. He said he put a huge effort into his CV and his interview, won the job, packed up his old life, and flew to Hong Kong to start a new and wonderful chapter in his life.

‘Mike, you are incredibly strong and brave. A lesser man would have wallowed in self-pity and given up. But, here you are today, enjoying life, a successful publisher with a bright future. And today you are also a heroic Good Samaritan coming to that old woman’s rescue.’

Mike blushed with false modesty and said, ‘I just did what any decent man would do.’

Somewhere in the heavens, Mike’s claim to decency upset the balance of nature, and lightning streaked the sky and thunder bellowed in the distance.

But, Mira did not notice. She was totally taken in by Mike’s lies, and she was used to big storms as a Hong King girl. She was a smart woman, but her kind and loving heart quite often overruled her clever head.

Mike was a little startled by the lightning crash but regained his composure quickly as the heavens opened. Outside the window, the rain poured onto the streets below and ran in torrents down the roads.

‘I believe there’s a great Chinese restaurant in this hotel also, but I was too frightened to take you there as I am sure you know much better places and I did not want to show myself up as a badly informed foreigner.’

‘Mike, I would have been fine with wherever you chose. But, next time is my treat and I will take you to the best Chinese restaurant in Hong Kong.’

‘That sounds great. What is it called?’

‘It is going to be my surprise. I will lead you there when we go, so that you cannot do any research in advance—it is going to be my treat and probably not what you will expect.’

‘I shall greatly look forward to that, I love Chinese food and I love surprises,’ Mike cooed as inside his head he thought, oh shit—I hope she doesn’t take me to some ethnic crap hole to eat, frogs, bugs, or snakes. Mammals and fish are good—but I just don’t fucking get insects, amphibians, or serpents.

He continued to beam his affectionate smiling face at her, despite the fact that his head was a bit disturbed. The prospect of having to endure an evening of potentially eating food composed of animals that should only ever be seen in horror movies and most certainly not on a dinner plate was not sitting well in his brain.

Mike decided to quickly move into humorous mode.

‘I once applied for a job of writing messages to go inside fortune cookies,’ he said by way of a set-up line.

‘Really?’ Mira inquired somewhat incredulous.

‘Oh yes, I thought I would have quite a talent for it as I am very good at making predictions.’

‘That is a great gift,’ Mira replied, still somewhat disbelieving.

‘Would you like to hear some of the fortune cookie messages that I used on my application?’

‘Yes, that would be most interesting.’

‘Well, here we go then, these are some of possibly my very finest fortune cookie predictions.

‘Tonight—someone near you will be eating rice.’

Mira started giggling.

‘This evening either you or someone near you will receive a bill.’

She started to laugh louder and become more relaxed.

Mike continued and was now getting into the part and relaying the fortune predictions in a spooky voice.

‘A stranger will remove crockery from your table, do not be afraid.’

Mira was now shaking with laughter and Mike was feeling pleased that he still had his old magic. Not even his earlier nose-bashing could knock him off his stride.

Then without warning and seemingly out of nowhere, someone slapped a crème brûlée on Mike’s head and exclaimed, ‘Well, you didn’t see that coming, did you? You mystic motherfucker.’

With that, Mike saw Jack Beecham storm out of the restaurant with his girlfriend Debbie.

As Jack departed, he turned to Debbie and said, ‘Can you bloody believe it? Of all the restaurants I had to pick tonight, I pick the same bloody one as the shit-for-brains loony Mike Tyler.

‘And then to make matters worse they put us on the next table behind him and I have to listen to his relentless bullshit chat-up routine of constant lies and bollocks.’

It was lucky for Mike that Jack had stormed off so fast so that his words were out of Mira’s earshot.

Mike was stunned; he certainly had not seen that coming. He had been completely unaware that Jack was sitting behind him. He sat there, for once totally lost for words as the crème brûlée started to slide off his head, down his face, and splatted into his lap.

Mira was not sure how to react. She was somewhat confused and concerned as to why some stranger had suddenly attacked Mike with a dessert.

Mike knew he had to think fast and break the silence. He could see the other diners staring at him and he could see a waiter rushing towards him with napkins. Regaining his composure was going to be a pretty big deal.

‘Well, now you have just been introduced to Jack, the man whose offices I mistakenly vandalized all those years back. Who would have thought that he would be in Hong Kong, on this very night, when I recounted my misfortunes to you of sadder times, so long ago?’

He could see her making the connection and he knew she was feeling his pain as she stared with pity in her eyes. Tonight he had been heroic, sad, vulnerable, and funny and now he looked victimized and pathetic and she was definitely falling for him.

The waiter did his best at ruining the moment as he clumsily slapped a napkin on Mike’s head and rammed another one into his crotch.

‘What the fuck is this nitwit thinking?’ Mike thought as he tried to gently fend the waiter off. He wanted to exclaim, ‘And what makes you think you are helping, you complete arse wipe?’ but he managed to say through gritted teeth, ‘Most kind, but I can deal with this, just leave the napkins.’

Mike did his best to wipe his head and face and to try to sweep the crème brûlée off his crotch and onto the floor. He then excused himself and said he just needed a few minutes in the washroom to try and clean up.

Once in the toilets, he washed his head and face and was even able to finally remove the tissue from his nose, which remarkably was no longer bleeding. From the neck up, he was now not looking too bad, but his trousers looked like someone had thrown up in his lap.

He soaked some paper towels and attempted to clean his trousers. At first it just seemed to make matters worse and quite uncomfortable as the crème brûlée seemed to be going very sticky and gluing his trousers to his legs. So he decided to be a bit more dramatic and he splashed huge amounts of water out of the sink and on to his trousers in an attempt to dissolve the sticky mess.

This did seem to be working, but now his trousers were drenched, which was pretty uncomfortable and did not look great.

He decided to take his trousers off and try to dry them under the warm-air hand dryer. This further sprayed more water over the already soaking washroom floor.

Eventually he was satisfied that he could do no more. His trousers were still pretty wet, but he could not leave Mira alone at the table all night.

He returned to the table and apologized for his absence. She said she was fine, just concerned for him and the rotten day that he had endured.

Mike switched back into full smarm mode and said, ‘How could any of this