Slug the Homeless Snail

By Tom Cooper

This is a tale of a poorly thought of, not too attractive species of slug known as a shell-less terrestrial gastropodic mollusc.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Sep 16, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503508941

Tom Cooper

After some years of bashing out stories and editing copy for newspapers in both England and Australia, Tom Cooper decided to turn his hand to writing a book. His inspiration? It was Ireland itself – happy scene of many teenage and adult holidays alike. When Tom decided to explore even further by bike he couldn't find a guidebook he liked, so decided to write one that he hoped would help, and inspire, cyclists to enjoy touring in Ireland as much as he does.

Book preview

Copyright © 2015 by Tom Cooper. 722872

ISBN:   Softcover       978-1-5035-0893-4

             EBook            978-1-5035-0894-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Rev. date: 08/27/2015

Illustrations by Tom Cooper

Xlibris

1-800-455-039

www.xlibris.com.au

Contents

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1: MY LIFE IS AN EMPTY SHELL

CHAPTER 2: THE FREE GARDEN SLUGS

CHAPTER 3: MEETING SMELLY SHELLY

CHAPTER 4: SLUG POTTERS ON

CHAPTER 5: THE SLOPS PARTY

CHAPTER 6: POST KB

CHAPTER 7: SHEILA’S DISAPPEARANCE

CHAPTER 8: LIFE WITH SAMANTHA

CHAPTER 9: THE COURT CASE

CHAPTER 10: AWAKENING

CHAPTER 11: A DAY AND NIGHT TO REMEMBER

INTRODUCTION

I am writing this introduction. Why am I writing it myself you may well ask - alright I will tell you. I do not know any famous authors who would write it for me, in fact I do not know any authors. Why would I when I do not read very much and actually I am not very keen on books and since I do not read their books then why would they read mine let alone introduce it. I remember as a child, someone asking me if I would like a book for my birthday. I replied I already have a book.

Why I am writing a book at all, I really do not know quite frankly. I have never had a desperate need to express my thoughts in writing. Truth be told, it is because I am long retired, have lots of time on my hands, am basically lazy and apart from some painting, do very little. After finally deciding to write a book I considered many subjects. I rejected a biography immediately and if I even attempted this my family and friends would shun me forever. A history of NE Mongolia and how it could have been changed did not appeal and would not attract too much interest from the general public. This and the fact that I hated history and apart from knowing of Genghis Khan, I know absolutely nothing about Mongolia or it’s goats. So, after very much mind bending thought I decided to write the following tale of a poorly thought of, not too attractive species of slug known as a Shell-less Terrestrial Gastropod Mollusc. Please be kind, here goes….

CHAPTER 1

MY LIFE IS AN EMPTY SHELL

Once upon a time there lived a young homeless snail named Slug. Slug’s life was pretty mundane and his future did not hold a lot of promise. Even his friends, of which there were very few said he did not have a lot of drive, lacked backbone, was spineless and one, a very nasty gastropod called him a slime, but Slug took it in his slide and did not let it bother him. Sticks and stones could not break his bones because he did not have any and names, well he could cope.

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It was a particularly nice humid evening so Slug thought he would slip down to the veggie patch for a feed of lettuce. He was thoroughly enjoying his meal when a passing snail complete with bed-sitter asked him in a sneering way ‘Why are you dining alfresco?’ Slug was very embarrassed and would have crept into his shell if he had one. Why was life so hard, why was he so poor and homeless - every night spent under a rock instead of inside a nice warm and cosy shell.

Later that night, Slug was cruising around when he saw a Library sign. Unfortunately there was road up maintenance between him and the library’s entrance,

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complete with ‘SLOW’ sign. Some two days later Slug slid through the library entrance, browsed slowly through the available books and finally selected one called THE LIFE OF HERMIT CRABS. He read it from cover to