Raising an African Child in America: from the Perspective of an Immigrant Nigerian Mom

By Marcellina Ndidi Oparaoji

Like other African-born immigrants, I came to the shores of America from Nigeria, West Africa, some twenty-plus years ago as a young adult, freshly married to my Nigerian immigrant spouse. All we knew was what we learnt from our parents and community, growing up. Except for what we read in books about the outside world, we had no idea what lay ahead surviving in another environment outside our Third World. Our parents had sent us forth to study some more in an environment different from what we were used to, in so many ways. We had to make success of this opportunity that was costing them so much. Immigrant Nigerians coming to America are then faced with questions of how to raise their children. Should their offsprings be raised as Nigerians, Americans or to help them benefit from both worlds, as Nigerian-Americans? Who decides, the parents, the children or the society? What will be the fate of the next generation to come?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 25, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503585119

Marcellina Ndidi Oparaoji

MARCELLINA NDIDI OPARAOJI is a graduate of the University of Minnesota with a bachelor's degree in French and Education, a Master's degree in Education and a Certificate in Training & Development of Human Resources. She also attended The George Washington University, where she obtained a Doctorate degree in Educational leadership. Marcellina is a Certified Clinical Research Professional, and has worked globally in clinical trials operations and training for major pharmaceutical companies, academia and training organizations. Dr. Oparaoji is married to Professor Edward C. Oparaoji and they have a son, Chukwuemeka Edward Jr. Oparaoji. Marcellina is from Amuzi, in Ahiazu Local Government of Imo State, Nigeria. She and her family make their home outside of Philadelphia, in Pennsylvania. This is her first novel.

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Copyright © 2015 by Marcellina Ndidi Oparaoji.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015911205

ISBN:   Hardcover              978-1-5035-8513-3

              Softcover                978-1-5035-8512-6

              eBook                    978-1-5035-8511-9

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

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Rev. date: 07/23/2015

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Contents

Chapter 1: The advent of Nigerian immigrants to America

Chapter 2: African immigrants to America

Chapter 3: Modern Nigerian immigrants in America

Chapter 4: Character Building

Chapter 5: Trouble is not infectious. It is contracted

Chapter 6: Get a good education. Hard work pays off

Chapter 7: Cultural influence

Chapter 8: Nigerian immigrant Marriage and the Nigerian-American child

Chapter 9: Family and Extended family

Chapter 10: Reacting to Adversity, Racism and Discrimination

Conclusion: Parents, where do we go from here?

References

Acknowledgments

Dedications

My husband, Professor Edward Chemazu Oparaoji

To my son, Chukwuemeka Edward Jr. Oparaoji, for their love and support,

And

To my mother, Ezinne Beatrice Onumarekwu Amadi Uche, who after becoming a widow at a young age, raised us, her children, despite all odds.

This book is a salute to all Nigerian-American children.

CHAPTER 1

The advent of Nigerian immigrants to America

He who thinks he is leading and has no one following him is only taking a walk.

~ African proverb

N igeria, a country the size of New Mexico, Arizona and California, United States areas, combined, is a coastal state on the shores of the Gulf of Guinea, in West Africa. Nigeria is extremely diverse, with numerous ethnic groups. Her name derives from the largest river in the country, River Niger.

Before the arrival of the first Europeans (the Portuguese), Nigeria’s many ethnic groups were highly organized into village groups, clans, emirates, states, kingdoms, and some empires, and had law and order. A common practice in many African civilizations then was to sell war captives, delinquent children, and the handicapped, into slavery. Nigeria was no exception. The Europeans encouraged more inter-tribal wars, so that more captured slaves could be sent to the New World, and so, slavery became even more lucrative. The British Parliament abolished slavery in 1807. (Kwasi Sarkodie-Mensah, 2014).

The presence of Nigerians to the United States does not date back very far, compared to other immigrant groups to America. In its 1935 annual report, the New York-based Institute of International Education indicated that in 1926, there were three documented Nigerian students in United States universities. In its subsequent reports, the number of students increased to 22 in 1944. Since after that, a steady increase in Nigerians to the United States for advanced studies continued. This increase in number was also enabled by the oil boom in the 1970s and 1980s, which helped make Nigeria one of the wealthiest nations in Africa. Most students were able to be sponsored by their parents and relatives, while others obtained institutional financial assistance and scholarships. (Kwasi Sarkodie-Mensah, 2014).

When Nigeria’s booming oil economy began to decline in the 1980s, many Nigerians who had planned to return after their studies decided to remain in the United States and obtained citizenship. Armed with permanent residency status and citizenship, many Nigerians brought their relatives into the United States. As they came, they settled almost anywhere. Some were comfortable settling where they had relatives, some went to colleges and universities where family members had attended and others settled where the weather was more favorable, e.g. the Southern states, where they could enjoy same type of weather conditions as in the country they had left behind. Nigerian immigrant journey to America would not be complete without first reviewing the entire African journey to the land.

CHAPTER 2

African immigrants to America

For Africa to me…. is more than a glamorous act. It is a historical truth. No man can know where he is going unless he knows exactly where he has been and exactly how he arrived at his present place.

~ Maya Angelou.

H ow did Africans come to America? This chapter of the book will attempt to summarize this important aspect of African immigrant history to America.

There are four historical stages of African sojourn to America, according to world literature. Africans’ advent to America started with the unfortunate triangular human trade, the forerunners of the present day African Americans. They were not immigrants per se, since they were involuntarily brought to America without choice of theirs, and had no ability to go back if they even wanted to. This era was followed by another immigrant group searching for the Golden Fleece, for example, Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe of Nigeria, Dr. Kwame Nkrumah of Ghana, to name a few. These set of African immigrants came to America to acquire knowledge. They did and hurried back to Africa to lead the battle for political independence from colonial masters, for their respective colonized countries.

Later, another set of African students came to America to acquire education. They originally had the goal of returning home as their predecessors, to help in nation building, but were forced by history of economic, security and other unforeseen circumstances in their respective countries, to stay back in America. These became what are generally viewed as the first ‘reluctant’ African immigrants in America.

The last groups were drawn to America by the ‘pull’ forces of the attractiveness of the ‘new’ world. Majority of these immigrants who came as students finished their studies and then became residents. These are the parents of the children whose upbringing rewards and challenges are being discussed in this book. Some of these parents came with student visas, some with spousal visas, and then the population increased with the introduction of the ‘Lottery visa’ program. This latest visa program is America’s idea of encouraging immigration from various countries, including Africa, by a kind of quota system.

Originally, the African immigrants came with the sole purpose of advancing themselves. Their plans were to complete these advancements and then return to their respective countries. Certain circumstances, however, led many of these African immigrants to become more interested in gaining permanent residence in North America and other continents of the world. One of such circumstance as mentioned earlier is education and knowledge acquisition.

Education in African countries tends to be modeled after their colonial masters’ tastes and dictates, producing educational outcomes that were and in my opinion, still not very compatible with local realities. Subsequently, some of these African immigrants had to leave their countries to enter international labor markets and to obtain advanced training. Once obtained, this advanced training tends to be too specialized to be adequately used in their respective home countries (Apraku, 1991). Compared to other immigrant groups to