Luna: The Misadventures and Misgivings of a Temperamental Curandera

By Dee Dee Peachey

"Luna" is a fun, quirky, adventurous tale about a young Curandera, served up Tex-Mex style and spiced with Magic Realism. Set in a timeless village in Texas, Luna's birth was predicted to bring great happiness and great sadness. Born of generations of Curanderas, Luna was especially Blessed with healing gifts selected by Our Heavenly Father, God Almighty, Himself. She starts out a bit precocious and overindulged, while developing wonderous and magical powers to help her friends and neighbors. But when she decides to help herself in a foolish and selfish blasphemous act, the results are not what she expects. Luna finds out that all prayers are heard, and sooner or later, they are answered. In the end, Luna discovers the meaning of true love, and that a Curandera has no place in the modern world. But not before run-ins with her family, friends, neighbors, untamed horses, a chupacabra, vengeful fires, ghosts, an unlikely angel, famous handmade chocolates, a horde of winged demons, and a statue of the Virgin of Guadalupe with a blurred photo stuffed inside.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jun 2, 2009
• ISBN: 9781467874939

Dee Dee Peachey

Dee Dee Peachey resides in San Antonio, Texas with her family, but they run off to Galveston every chance they get. She likes to drink and smoke and cuss and argue with everybody. She holds no recollection of any wrongdoing done unto others, but will gladly hold a grudge against anyone she feels has done her the slightest wrong. She dedicates this book to her father, Antonio, and to the loving memories of her grandmother, Maria; her mother, Maria Georgina; her sister, Anna Belinda; and to all her late and livingaunts named Mary, Maria, and Marie. GO, SPURS, GO!

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© 2009 Dee Dee Peachey. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 6/2/2009

ISBN: 978-1-4389-7249-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4678-7493-9 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Contents

 I

II

III

IV

 V

About the Author

Curandera (koo"-rhĕn-dĕ’-rhŏ) n

1. Female Curandero. 2. Shaman. 3. Healer. 4. One who heals spiritual, physical, and mental ailments organically and naturally. 5. One who possesses mystical healing powers. 6. Spiritual healer descended from the Mayan and/or Aztec cultures. 7. One who heals ailments with natural accouterments, (e.g. herbs, teas, candles, oils, etc.) 8. One who instills prayers as part of the healing process. 9. One who cures all ailments with the power of God. 10. A witchdoctor.

Professional medical attention and treatment are strongly advised.

 I 

The cards were shuffled and cut.

They seemed like an ordinary, everyday, run-of-the-mill deck of playing cards.

All except the design of the suits.

Instead of hearts, clubs, diamonds and spades, this deck contained cups, wands, coins and swords.

This deck was handed down from mother to daughter for generations.

This deck was not used for playing ‘Poker’ or ‘Go Fish.’

No.

This was not an ordinary, everyday, run-of-the-mill deck of playing cards.

This deck was used to foretell the future.

They were tarot cards.

And throughout the course of history, they have been interpreted in many different ways.

Some destinies are read with a large, elaborate spread.

Some destinies are read with only one single card.

In this case, the deck was shuffled three times and cut.

Then, three cards were taken from the top and laid out in a row.

The three of cups.

The King of coins.

The ten of cups.

The beautiful, teenaged Estrella looked up at her mother to verify her own practiced translation of their meaning.

It says that one day you will find love and marriage with a wealthy, established man and live a life of great happiness and contentment, her mother nodded her confirmation.

They both smiled.

Three more cards were laid out.

The nine of cups.

The Page of cups.

The ten of coins.

And that you will have a family surrounded by love and happiness, her mother continued.

They both smiled.

The last three cards were drawn.

The Ace of coins.

The Queen of swords.

And the Ace of swords.

The bad-luck card.

The card of death.

Estrella and her mother smiled no longer.

And from the moment of her birth, your youngest daughter will bring great happiness… and great sadness.

Mama, gasped Estrella, What should I do?

Nothing, her mother calmly stated, stroking her hair. There is nothing we can do. Our destinies have been written out for all of us. We can’t change them. But we are prepared, now. We will wait until the time comes. Then, we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

Don Antonio knew he had his hands full the moment his youngest child was born.

His fourth child.

His third daughter.

He now had a son and three beautiful daughters.

At that moment, he doubted all the premonitions and predictions his lovely wife warned him about after each and every one of their girls’ births.

After all, how could such a sweet little baby bring about great happiness, and at the same time great sadness?

All he could feel was his heart so filled with love and pride he could hardly breathe.

Overcome, his eyes welled with tears as he was handed his swaddled child.

Be still, Luna. Be still, he whispered to her.

She struggled to be free.

Even then, she hated to be told what to do.

Don Antonio laughed as his newborn tried to worm her way out of her tight blanket and out of his arms.

This one definitely had a mind of her own.

He smiled, in awe of the wonder and miracle of life, and the immediate and profound love he felt for this child.

He felt his family was complete.

A beautiful wife.

A strapping, young son.

Three beautiful daughters.

And he wept joyously.

But his tears of joy quickly turned into anguished torrents of grief as he witnessed his wife convulse and gasp her last dying breath.

"Estrella! No! Dear, God! No!" he cried.

And it was then that he realized the prophecy had been fulfilled.

Upon her birth this child did, indeed, bring great happiness and great sadness.

He handed the babe to his weeping mother-in-law, and he collapsed on the bed to hold the lifeless body of his beloved wife.

Luna! Mamita called out. Come inside! We’re expecting company!

But Luna did not obey her grandmother’s call.

She was playing with her cousins, Lupita and Gorda.

The cousins had finished with their music lessons and were free to go outside.

But Luna, now at eight years old, felt she could come and go as she pleased.

If company was soon to arrive, so what?

She knew the visitors were not for her.

Why did she have to interrupt her play for people she didn’t care about?

Especially now.

She, Lupita, and Gorda were in the middle of a play scene that catered to her fancy.

Earlier that day, she watched her big brother, Donato, break in some new horses at the corral.

But he wouldn’t let her ride any of them, no matter how much she begged, and whined, and pleaded.

In frustration, Luna ran into the house to complain of this cruel and unjust treatment to Mamita, or Mita, as she called her grandmother.

Mita gave her a bit of chamomile tea to calm her down and tried to distract the girl with a reading of the long favored tarot cards.

They were shuffled three times and cut.

Then, Mita drew three cards from the top and laid them out in a row.

You are going to be a young woman of great importance, Mita told her. "You will marry into a wealthy family and become very significant. Very important to the family…. Sort of like a… like a princess…."

That was all Luna had to hear.

She ran out of the kitchen before Mita could finish the reading.

Luna went to collect her cousins, Lupita, who was seven years old, and Gorda, who was six, and they all ran into Mita’s wardrobe to look for any sort of jewelry or clothing suitable for a princess.

They found and pulled out an old, worn petticoat that Mita had planned to throw away.

But it was lacy.

And pretty.

So they took it.

They ran outside to play in the shade by the front gate, away from the house, where the girls argued over which one of them would be the first to wear the petticoat tied to their head like a veil.

I’m a princess! Luna was wearing the veil.

She picked up a long, fallen branch and plucked the unnecessary offshoots so she would have an adequate scepter.

I get to be the queen! Gorda exclaimed.

You’re the clown, Luna corrected.

No-o-o… can I be a princess, too? Gorda pleaded.

You are the court jester, Luna stated as regally as she possibly could without laughing.

No-o-o… you’re not fair, Gorda whined.

"That’s because I’m the princess."

The princess of what?… Underwear? A strange voice broke up the play.

It was Ricardo Montoya.

He and his brothers, Roberto and Ramon, rode their silent horses up to the gate.

They dismounted and granted themselves entry.

What kind of princess wears underwear on her head? Ricardo snidely asked.

The Montoyas laughed.

Oh.

That laugh.

Luna hated the way they laughed.

It sounded like a cross between a donkey’s bray gasping for air while coughing up phlegm, and the rapid fire of a machine gun.

The Montoyas came from a long line of wealthy landowners.

They lived way, way over on the other side of the village, past the mesquite and pecan trees, out by the desert, in an old abandoned Texas Ranger fort they had remodeled and expanded to make their home.

A tall, stone wall surrounded the Montoya compound, so no one could see inside.

And it stretched fives miles across on all four sides.

There were stories told about the vast and secluded Montoya estate.

Ever since their mother, the Doña Rosa-Maria Montoya, died five years earlier, the boys and their father rarely ventured outside the walls of their home.

Some people mistook their reclusive behavior as snobbery.

Perhaps the Montoyas had something to hide.

Some people would say ‘whoever goes in the Montoya compound, never comes back out… alive.’

Another story is that the Montoyas make their money by selling their visitors off as slaves.

Another, yet, is that they eat their guests.

Luna liked that one in particular.

It sounded so horrible yet so befitting of her feelings for the Montoya family.

She also figured that was the reason why Ricardo and Roberto were so fat!

But Luna’s logic was resolved to believe the Montoyas simply stole and resold other people’s cattle to make their money.

At her age, she couldn’t figure it any other way.

Even if she much preferred the stories of cannibalism.

Whatever the reason for their unsociable nature, Luna just plain didn’t like them.

Ricardo was always mean to her.

He acted as though he had full authority to intimidate and tease her whenever he pleased.

Roberto was just as bad- always boasting and bragging.

And Ramon seemed like the worst one of them all to Luna.

He was always quiet and stood in the back.

Almost blending into the background.

He never opened his mouth to speak.

He always covered it when he snickered along with his brother’s insults.

On many occasions, Luna would stride right up to him, tell him he was stupid, and hit him, but she never got a word out of him.

No one ever did.

On the other hand, it was Ricardo and Roberto she wished would shut the Hell up.

Ricardo was the same age as Luna’s big brother, Donato, at sixteen years old.

Roberto was fourteen, and Ramon, twelve.

All of them were as dark as night.

The very appearance of the Montoyas instilled a bit of fear in some people.

But Luna was not afraid of them.

Nope.

Not one bit.

What are you doing here? We don’t have any cattle for you to steal, she glared.

The Montoyas don’t steal, Ricardo coldly stated.

Oh, that’s right, Luna winked at Lupita and Gorda. "The Montoyas just borrow whatever they want and then forget to return it."

Out of my way, little girl! Ricardo walked past her, We didn’t come here to play with underwear.

You could have fooled me! Luna sidled up next to Ricardo.

He tried to lose her as he dodged to the other side of his horse that he led to the house.

You look stupid with that slip on your head, Ricardo switched to the other side of the horse.

You look stupid, period! Luna was still beside him.

She wagged her scepter back and forth, thoughtlessly swatting Ricardo on the leg from time to time as she walked along with him.

Go away! he growled.

"I don’t have to. This is my home!" Luna blared.

I’m your guest. You’re supposed to treat your guest with hospi-…hosti….

"That’s Hospitality! And besides, you’re not my guest!" she stated.

Get lost!

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Our Tia is sick and we came to pick up something from your grandmother to help make her better. Ricardo slipped to the other side of his horse, rubbing his leg where Luna’s scepter kept hitting him.

"Why would Mita want to help you?" Luna stuck to Ricardo’s side like glue.

Because we’re paying her! Now, stop that! Get away!

Ricardo pushed Luna and noticed she staggered off balance.

She teetered on her heel, waving her arms as she tried to restore her footing.

Ricardo quickly took advantage of her instability and pushed her again, laughing as she fell to the ground.

Go to another Curandera! she shouted as she angrily picked herself up. "I don’t want Mita to help any of you!"

Everyone knows your grandmother is the only healer in the area, Ricardo walked quickly before she could reattach herself to his side. And she’s the best one around.

She’s a witch if you ask me, Roberto added. And you look like a witch with that panty on your head!

The Montoyas laughed.

Ooh!

That laugh!

Luna hated the way they laughed.

She turned to Ramon, who had covered his mouth with his hand as he snickered.

"That’s because I am a witch! she smirked, And if you don’t shut-up, I’m going to turn you into the frog that you look like!"

She hit Ramon on the top of the head with her scepter.

It broke in half.

Ramon stood stunned, staring blankly with eyes wide opened.

And you…. she jabbed Roberto with the broken end of the stick, "I’ll turn you into the jack- ass that you look and sound like!"

Hey! Roberto swatted the stick away from his belly and out of her hand.

"And you…!" she walked up to Ricardo, put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "Never mind. It’s too late. You’re already a huge pile of horse-shit!"

That was enough for Ricardo.

He threw down the reins and started towards her.

Roberto tried to hold him back.

No, Ricardo, he told his brother, She’s just a stupid little girl.

But Ricardo wrung free.

He walked up to the unwavering young Luna and pointed his finger in her face.

"You are all witches! Brujas! Everyone in your family! You! Your grandma! Your Tias! Your sisters and cousins! Even your mother! You don’t remember, but the town burned her at the stake!"

You don’t talk about my mother! Luna became heated and was suddenly on the verge of tears.

Yeah…. Ricardo knew he pushed the right button. "Your mother was drummed out of town! We sent the dogs out after her! And… and… she’s dead, now!"

Ricardo turned and walked towards the house.

Luna was seething.

Lupita and Gorda held their hands to their mouths and stepped back.

Luna looked around at the ground for something.

Anything!

A large stick.

Or a rock.

She found a huge, flat stone that would do the trick.

She picked it up and flung it with all her might at the Montoyas, and hit Ricardo square in the back.

You don’t talk about my mother! Luna lunged at Ricardo.

He was ready to return the attack.

They charged at each other like raging bulls.

They converged like fighting cocks.

They fought like mad dogs!

No one was able to stop them.

Gorda ran her pudgy little body to the house to get help.

Mamita! Mamita! she cried all along the way.

Mamita came out the back kitchen door.

I’ve been calling you girls to come in. I’m expecting company. She was wiping her hands dry with a flour sack dishtowel.

Mamita always seemed to be doing something that ended with her wiping her hands dry with a flour sack dishtowel.

It’s Luna! She’s having a fight with Ricardo Montoya! At the gate! Luna is in a fight! Gorda gasped for breath.

Mamita grabbed her broom.

She had been through this many times before.

Many times.

Each and every past situation came to mind as she flew out the back door towards the gate.

Gorda trudged along after her.

Luna was fearless, that was true.

But Mamita could not teach her granddaughter the fine line between fearlessness and foolishness.

Luna was impulsive.

Aggressive.

Unruly.

Temperamental.

Oh, what to do with such a child?

A high-pitched scream cried for help.

As Mamita fast approached the battle scene, she saw scuffling through the legs of the agitated horses that Roberto and Ramon tried to hold steady.

She saw Lupita off to the side, anxiously biting her fingernails.

And when she looked through the dust clouds that were kicked in the air, she saw Luna.

Oh, my God! Luna! Mamita shouted.

Help me! He-e-elp! The high-pitched voice cried out.

Mamita tried to pull Luna away from Ricardo but couldn’t get to her.

They scrambled and tossed and rolled on the ground.

Finally, Luna was on top Ricardo.

She had him faced down with one of his arms pinned behind his back.

She held it there and sat on it.

Her other hand had him by the hair as she banged his face into the dirt.

He cried out every chance he had.

Help! Would somebody, please, help me! He-e-E-E-E-E-e-lp!!! his high pitched scream continued.

Luna! Mamita took her broom and swatted Luna off Ricardo and over to the side by Lupita. "What do you think you’re… uh! What are you doing with my underwear?!"

Luna had the petticoat knotted tight around her forehead, but the blow from the broom knocked it down over her eyes, temporarily blinding her.

I’m a pretty princess! she answered loudly.

You’re a mean little girl! her grandmother shouted back.

Luna pushed the slip back up to her forehead, out of her eyes, and started for Ricardo again.

Mamita spit into both her hands, rubbed them together, then took firm hold of the broom handle and with every ounce of her strength, reared back, and gave the broom a powerful swing that hit Luna up off the ground, and sent her flying straight up high into the sky.

Lupita, Gorda, Roberto, and Ramon cocked theirs heads all the way back to see where Luna went.

Up.

Up.

Up.

She was only a tiny white dot hidden in the clouds.

Mamita helped Ricardo to his feet and dusted him off.

Come into the kitchen and I’ll give you children something nice and cold to drink, she said as she led them to the house.

Lupita and Gorda kept looking up for signs of Luna.

Don’t worry about little ‘Miss Meanie,’ Mamita told them. She’ll be down in a few minutes. Come along, now. Come on.

About five minutes later, Luna, holding the edges of the petticoat on her head like a parachute, came softly, slowly, drifting down, and landed on the spot where the fight began.

She ran to catch up with the others.

She didn’t go inside the house.

Not right away.

Instead, she walked over to the corral where her brother, Donato, was gathering up a long rope while he oversaw his men break in a new horse.

What did you do now? Donato asked.

He knew his little sister all too well.

The Montoyas are here.

She crossed her arms on the rail of the corral and rested her chin on them.

She stared off at the snorting, stubborn horse that refused to be tamed.

You should just leave those poor guys alone, Donato said, shaking his head. They don’t know any better.

"Ricardo said Mommy was dead! I hate him!"

"Well,… our mother is dead," said Donato.

No she isn’t, Luna shook her head, I talk to her almost every night.

"Yes, well… Mother only appears to you. To everyone else… she’s dead."

"She’s not dead. And even if she was, Ricardo has no beeswax talking about her."

Donato nodded in agreement.

"I don’t make fun of his mommy being dead," said Luna.

Nope. And you better not, said Donato.

Why not? Luna’s head sprung up from her folded arms.

It’s just not a good subject to bring up, Donato finished winding the rope around his arm. "Well, you might not remember how nice Doña Montoya was. Everybody loved her. And I reckon her own family loved her most of all. It’s just really sad for them. Their mother’s death hurt them all real bad. Real bad. It was so bad that they took to hiding behind their walls, now."

"They don’t hide behind their walls enough!" Luna added.

Just ignore them and they’ll be on their way soon enough, was his advice to her.

They both looked over at the horse that had just bucked off one of the ranch hands high in the air.

Luna laughed when he hit the dirt.

You’re all doing it wrong, she said.

And I suppose you could do better? Donato asked.

I could. But you won’t let me.

No. No. Not yet. You’re still too small. Maybe by next spring you can help me, said Donato.

Luna made a face.

You’d better go in the house and apologize to Ricardo, Donato added.

Luna made another face.

It would make Mamita proud of you. Donato had his rope and was ready to take his turn at the horse.

"Fine. I’m going in, but I’m not apologizing," said Luna as she slowly dragged herself away from the fence and started towards the house.

Well, then … you might want to take Mita’s underwear off your head! Donato called out to her.

Luna kept the petticoat tied to her head.

She sat alone in the corner by the back door.

Beneath the many gathered bundles of herbs and flowers hung up to