Exceeding Expectations: Hallmark of the Well-Lived Years of Verna Lathrop Kern

By K. Robert Kern

Verna Lathrop Kerns life story began with birth on a small dairy farm near the village of Greenwood, Illinois on the first day of November 1927. As a farm girl, later living in Greenwood village, she was the younger (by six years) sister of one brother, parented by a skilled carpenter-cabinet maker and a mother who viewed life pessimistically A young high-school gym teacher left seeds of womens worth within some of her students, and the athletically talented and able student, Verna, took that potential to heart. First of her extended family to propose going to college, her mother asked On what, buttons? Nofully on her own personal earnings (from work as bank teller, factory worker, employed student living in cooperative housing), she went off to the University of Illinois. A blind date in her sophomore year brought together the two who would share 66 years of their livesending with her death in 2013. Always physically activetennis, sailing, biking, jogging; scholarlyhighest ranking in her college class; innovativecreated academic-advising program in her Iowa State University department; wife and mothertwo children, three grandchildren, all high achievers; care-giver to an aged motherwho lived 300 miles away; herself a winner over five forms of cancer; lover, companion, and fellow-traveler/sometimes resident with Bob (the blind date) in far places on four continents and islands of the Pacific.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 12, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499006131

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Copyright © 2014 by K. Robert Kern.

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Rev. date: 04/23/2014

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CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1: The End Of Life

Chapter 2: A Life Begins

Chapter 3: Moving Into A Wider World

Chapter 4: The Scene—And Life—Changes

Chapter 5:A Time Of Growth

Chapter 6:A Satisfying Family Life

Chapter 7: Living A Broadened Life

Chapter 7: Working As Nest Empties

Chapter 8: Fully In Retirement

Chapter 10: The Last Chapter

Epilogue

INTRODUCTION

The first day of November in 1927 was a cloudy day, according to skimpy weather records available from that far back. A typical November-first dawn near Chicago, under clouds, might well have broken at a temperature near the freezing point. Later in the day it might have come up into the 40s Fahrenheit; a brisk northwest wind could have made it a chilly day to be out.

The lights would have gone on early, probably before 5 a.m., in a small house of our interest two miles south of the village of Greenwood, Illinois, Walter Clayton Lathrop might have had a cup of coffee and would have likely gone immediately to the barn; there he would have turned on electric barn lights, put out a grain mixture for each cow in the stanchion barn, and started the morning milking. That routine involved first washing the udder of each cow, giving a few squeezes to the teats to encourage let-down of milk, then attaching four teat cups and letting the pull of the vacuum of the milking machine begin extracting milk. When finished on one cow, Walter would turn off the vacuum, disconnect the teat cups, strip out any left-over milk into another container, take the full canister off the machine and dump it into a five-or ten-gallon milk can in the cool-water tank. Then he would start the routine over again and again until every cow had been milked. Walter’s small dairy herd required milking one group (the number of stanchions in the barn), turning them out, and bringing in another group for feed and to be milked.

It might have been nearing or after eight o’clock before Walter finished the milking, turned out the last group of cows, and done the necessary clean-up of the barn. He had to be finished before the truck arrived to collect his filled cans. The rules were many, covering equipment and methods; they were the necessary hurdle for the dairy farmer who wished to get the premium price available for his milk by selling to the Chicago milkshed authority.

Before Walter came in for breakfast, Cora Belle Norton Lathrop, heavy this November day with the pregnancy that would deliver a baby girl, would have roused six-year-old Robert from his bed, seen to his dressing for the school day, and made preparations for the family breakfast. Robert had only a few hundred yards to cover to get to Charles School for his first-grade classes.

Sometime in that day, November first, the stirrings began to presage the arrival of a little bundle of femininity, which was given the name Verna Louise Lathrop. She is the principal of this story.

Cora had been through one birthing when, almost six years earlier, Robert was born. No doubt the symptoms of the coming birth moved her to send out word for one or more of her sisters to come. At least three of Cora’s five sisters were within five miles or less: Laura and Dora were wives of nearby farmers; Nettie, the wife of a factory worker, lived in Woodstock, about five miles away. All three were older and each had been through several childbirths themselves. Cora’s parents, as well as Walter’s, lived in adjacent houses in Greenwood village, just a couple of miles away.

There might also have been an attending person with midwifery skills, or there could have been an M.D. involved. The birth certificate suggests the latter, it bore the name and signature of W. Hepburn, M.D. Verna discovered in adulthood that she had been incorrectly registered in McHenry County vital statistics as Vera, a name she disliked in childhood and which she moved to have officially corrected as an adult. In adolescent years in Greenwood, a Methodist pastor seemed to have fixated that her name was Vera. She set him straight: As long as you call me Vera, you will never get an answer from me. My name is Verna.

From early times, she was a young woman who stood up for herself and had confidence that she could prevail and achieve what she considered important.

The author of this biography met Verna in 1946, shortly after she had turned 19—a sophomore at the University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana. He knew little of her first 19 years but shared 66 years of an exciting, fruitful, loving relationship brought to a close when death came gently in her sleep on March 11, 2013.

The idea of a biography of Verna had been in the author’s mind for some time, perhaps stirred when he completed his own autobiography in the spring of 2012. However, she did not take up the often-extended invitation to talk about her early years. They were not unhappy years; they were years of achievement of a well-rounded person with outstanding physical, intellectual, leadership, and coping skills. Yet, she seemed reluctant to revisit those years.

Thus, as author, we were left with the scattered memories remaining from conversations and situations where earlier years seemed to have played a role. We have been able to get some definitive information from two of the classmates with whom she had best-friends relationships through high school in Woodstock: Mary Lou Simpson, whom she first met in the commercial classes (typing, shorthand, et al. that were almost mandatory for young women not planning on college), and Betty Thiede, her catcher in the GAA(Girls Athletic Association) softball battery.

Also of great help was Mary Ellen Wishart, who served as Verna’s assistant and colleague in academic advising in the physical education department of Iowa State University in the 1970s; in subsequent years she continued to be a loving, supportive friend through the end of Verna’s life—as was her husband, Don, who had served some 15 years on Bob’s department staff.

The author, of course, uses his writer’s license to try to portray the setting for the strength of character and the joy of living that Verna found in 85 years, 4½ months of life. What a privilege to have been along for most of those years.

CHAPTER 1:

THE END OF LIFE

The obituary of Verna L. [Louise Lathrop] Kern, 1927-2013, appeared in the days following her death, Mar. 11, 2013, in The Tribune, Ames, IA, and the Des Moines Register, Des Moines, IA. It was carried as well in the next quarterly issue of Kabekona Currents, the newsletter of the Kabekona Lake Association, Laporte, MN, where the family had been summer members of the association community for several decades.

In their notes of condolence to Verna’s family, many of her friends and acquaintances—in both communities—commented on learning facets of her life that they had not known as well as on their specific relationships.

Thus we start this biography with an image of totality of person and personality—the woman she had become in eight-five years of living. We lead with her obituary:

Verna L. Kern, 85, 2200 Hamilton Dr., Ames, died at home on March 11 [2013]. The daughter of Walter C. and Cora Norton Lathrop was born Nov. 1, 1927 at Woodstock, IL. She had resided in Ames since March 1950. Death occurred in sleep, hastened by several ailments related to heart and lungs.

Verna is survived by her husband of almost 65 years, K. Robert Kern, by two children, Karl Robert II (Ann) Kern, Princeton, MN, and Barbara L. Carlson (David), Boise, ID, and three granddaughters: Frances Kern, St. Paul, MN, Jennifer Carlson (Sam) Govey, suburban London, U.K., and Stephanie Carlson, Boise, ID.

Living in the village of Greenwood in northern Illinois, Verna graduated from Woodstock High School where she won honors in music (French horn) and sports (softball and basketball). She entered the University of Illinois in 1945, majoring in women’s physical education, financing her full college costs by work in the university library and factory work at home during vacations.

Verna and husband Bob met at the University of Illinois and married there in June 1948. After two years of living and working in Decatur, IL, they came to Ames in March 1950 for Bob to enroll in graduate school (technical journalism). By the time of the birth of their children, he had joined the Iowa State faculty, and Verna soon resumed her interrupted education.

Verna took her baccalaureate degree in 1963 (women’s physical education, then under the College of Home Economics); she was cited as the high-ranking scholar in the college for that year. She joined the Iowa State faculty in physical education in the fall of 1963, first teaching individual sports: bowling, archery, and tennis (coaching the tennis team, then a club sport before the federal Title IX).

Before the end of the 1960s, Verna had been given responsibility for academic advising in the physical education department. In ensuing years, some other departments of the university adopted her method and materials for planning and monitoring individual student performance in their curriculum.

After 20 years in the department, Verna took her retirement early. She devoted some time to travel and living abroad during some of her husband’s international consulting assignments. These included time in Mexico, The Netherlands, Fiji, Samoa, and visits to many other European and Pacific states.

Verna also was a tennis coach and player, active in the tennis associations in Ames, several times Ames women’s singles champion and, with Bob, mixed-doubles winner. She was a member of the Ames Racquet Club from its origin and played many years with the so-called mature-women’s doubles at their thrice-weekly outings.

Verna and her family took up lake sailing in 1966, later establishing their own vacation home on Lake Kabekona in north-central Minnesota. In their summers there, sailing, wind-surfing, and kayaking were major activities, along with leadership and membership in the Kabekona Lake Association.

A small person, 5 feet 1 inch at fullest development, Verna had difficulty finding desired clothing on the retail racks. She mastered sewing and tailoring to the extent of furnishing almost the entirety of her wardrobe by her own talent.

From her first diagnosis of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 1981, she survived six forms of cancer (including two other lymphomas) with expert counsel of her physician, Dr. M. Michael Guffy, of the McFarland Clinic. Another Clinic M.D., Dr. Peter Buck (an Ames High classmate of her daughter, Barbara) successfully replaced two knee joints and repaired a shoulder, permitting Verna many more years with tennis, cross-country skiing, and roller-blading.

In the Words of Others

Following appearance of Verna’s obituary and the Celebration of Life held by the family at Green Hills on the day of interment of her ashes in the cemetery of Iowa State University, dozens of cards and messages came from persons who had known her. Their words, taken from the handwritten notes, touch certain aspects of their relationship with Verna and add substance and appreciation for what her life added to theirs.

Words from persons who knew Verna in several areas of her life

Verna was the gutsiest lady I ever knew. It was a privilege to know her—to play tennis with her—I’ll cherish the memory of all those hours on the court. El [Dr. Peterson] admired her so much for the way she handled all her medical difficulties—always with grace and class—she is such a lass.

—Jean Peterson, tennis-player colleague and widow of Dr. Elroy Peterson, primary-care physician, who promptly diagnosed Verna’s first cancer in 1981.

From our view Verna was quiet, intelligent, knew who she was, and with great inner strength continued that way of life to its conclusion. Verna will be missed by all who knew her.

—Darlene and Neil Harl, faculty colleague and friends beginning from 1960s.

It was a pleasure to know Verna and to admire her courage through difficult years. I can empathize with her frustrations over giving up an active life style. Stories of her prowess on the tennis courts are many; I miss her… It was a privilege to have known her.

—Ruth Swenson, faculty colleague and academic adviser to daughter, Barbara

I feel privileged to have provided orthopedic care for Verna. She had indomitable spirit and what a positive attitude! I loved spying on her rollerblading near Gateway [Hotel]. She was truly special.

—Peter Buck, M.D., orthopedist, for two knee replacements and shoulder surgery

What a team you and Verna made, supporting each other as you reached and enriched the lives of students, colleagues, friends near and far. Verna’s spirit of pushing through adversity and continuing onward was an inspiration to many of us. One of my delightful memories was hearing the two of you rollerblading ’round the bend on Hamilton Drive at 5:30 a.m.

—Etha Hutchcroft, a friend of many years, especially at Green Hills

She was a vivacious lady and undoubtedly had many friends. She left a positive impression on everyone she met and will be sorely missed. I felt that we had been friends the first time I met her. Verna’s warmth, caring, and good humor radiated from her in a way that instantly told me she was a rare gem. Add to that her knowledge of numerous topics, a love of nature, and sport plus a big dose of adventurous spirit, and it’s hard to believe all those wonderful qualities fit into such a physically tiny person. I feel so blessed to have had the chance to get to know her.

—Phil and Shirley Jackson, son, and daughter-in-law of Bob’s infantry company commander in World War II

I have such fond memories of Verna from visiting with her at reunions. In a brief time, I discovered her many talents as an educator and as a mentor to women through the years. She was a very special and gracious woman who shared her gifts unselfishly.

—Susan and Mark Hellman, met at military reunions; Mark was son of Bob’s chaplain in World War II

She was a great gal, endured so many health problems with determination and dignity, still managing to play tennis in spite of it all—and kept her sense of humor.

—Virginia and Bill Gamble, director-general of the center in The Hague. Netherlands where they lived, an acquaintance continued for three later decades

I admired Verna very much. She was a frail woman yet so strong at the same time. She was a remarkable woman.

—Christa Onnes, a friend in The Hague, Netherlands

We will miss Verna. We’ve long liked and admired her, and held her as an example for us of facing adversity with courage.

—Alene and Dick Seim, acquaintances over many decades

Verna lived every day with everything she had. I remember her enviable energy and vigor. I have many fond memories of the times we spent together.

—Mary K. Lathrop Gallagher, niece

We will miss her.

—Jennifer (granddaughter) and Sam Govey, Woking, U.K.

We are pleased we had the opportunity to get to know Verna and have fond memories of summer 2006 [Jennifer’s wedding] and spring 2007 [a visit to U.K.].

—Sue and David Govey (parents of Granddaughter Jennifer’s husband), Epsom, U.K.

Verna was a talented, adventurous, accomplished woman.

—Judy Mabe, interior designer who assisted in decorating the new apartment

Thoughts expressed by some of her university colleagues

Verna was special

—Cindy Frederickson, her successor as leader of academic advising in her department

I have fond memories of Verna—she was a very special lady and will be missed by many.

—Bobbie Warman, academic adviser colleague in ISU College of Home Econo.mics

I have such fond memories of our first years together on the PEW [Physical Education for Women] staff.

—Mary Stevermer, who started on that faculty with Verna in the same year, 1963

She was a strong woman. I admired her and learned from her. It was a privilege to be her colleague.

—Jan Beran, colleague in the department

We enjoyed knowing Verna on the campus and at Green Hills.

—Hannah and David Gradewohl, ISU and Green Hills colleagues

I’m really glad to have known Verna. Her cheerfulness and can-do spirit are among my treasured memories.

—Melva Berkland, a friend and colleague through Bob’s department

To the memory of Verna Kern we are giving a beehive to a hardworking family in Honduras, because Verna was a honey and the queen bee.

—Marjorie and Wil Groves, Marjorie worked in Bob’s department

Forty years of three-to four-month summer residences on Lake Kabekona, Minnesota (200 miles northwest of the Twin Cities) entwined Verna and Bob into another community represented in the Kabekona Lake Association. Following are excerpts from notes by some of those friends.

She was a sweet lady.

—Roberta Jacobsen, Lake Kabekona, and San Francisco

She was such a lovely woman, and I so much enjoyed the times we had a chance to talk.

—Judy Keiser, Lake Kabekona

It was always a special time to visit with her in the summer.

—Judy and Floyd Anderson, Lake Kabekona, alumni of University of Northern Iowa

She was such an accomplished lady! We always enjoyed talking with her.

—Judy and John Hagge, Lake Kabekona, once residents of Ames, IA

I remember Verna’s great spirit in overcoming illness and disability and enjoyed getting to know her at coffees and luncheons. I will think of her when I see a sailboat on Kabekona Lake.

—Renee Hermanson, Lake Kabekona and San Antonio, TX and lake historian

We loved seeing Verna so many times over the years… she was always cheerful and a great visitor. In reading Currents I became aware of her many talents and accomplishments during her life. An amazing woman.

—Char and Clint Keay, nearby neighbors on County 37

Both of you were among the very first persons we met here, and Verna was always so welcoming.

—Martha Hellman, a fellow walker on County Highway 37

After monthly trips to Greenwood, IL, to give care to her aged, legally blind mother, for more than a decade, Verna pressed for joining the Green Hills Retirement Community upon learning of its development. We are not doing this [long-distance care-giving] to our children, she declared.

When Verna’s and Bob’s townhouse was completed in July 1986—five months after the first residents moved into the new community—she supervised moving into 2428 Hamilton Dr. (Bob was on a summer consultancy in Western Samoa that summer, returning to join her in September). After 26 years in that townhouse, when both were the longest-surviving residents of Green Hills, they had two adjacent one-bedroom apartments remodeled to a single larger unit in the midrise building. They moved into that residence just before 1 August 2012.

The following excerpts were taken from notes written by Green Hills residents:

Verna was a great woman. It was my privilege to know her at Green Hills.

—Joan Mathews

A very special person to all she met; She was very encouraging to me about my cancer. I really needed that, and then she continued as a friend.

—Esther Willham

We will miss Verna.

—Ellie Mathews

We all enjoyed Verna so much, and she will be missed in the Green Hills Community. I especially remember your tennis days together.

—Irene Beavers

At Green Hills is a loving family who have known and appreciated Verna! She was an amazing woman and you know how lucky you were to share these many years with her!

—Pat Hopkins

We’ll miss seeing Verna.

—Lois and Einar Larsen

We all miss Verna.

—LaRue Clark

I miss Verna very much. I admired Verna’s courage and stamina with the health issues she faced. She always put on a good face and was a fighter. You lost someone very special, and as a Green Hills resident I know we have too.

—Margy Chamberlin

We will miss Verna. We so enjoyed knowing her.

—Phyllis and Gerry Smith

Verna will certainly be missed.

—Marsha and Richard Holmes

She surely was a miracle. I always knew she was one special gal. What great memories you must have.

—Mary Pevestorf

Verna was a joy to know and be around. We will miss her.

—Trudy and Ralph Yoder

She was a dear lady and a charming personality of sugar and spice. I particularly recall the beautiful clothing she had created. I was amazed to read of her accomplishments in education and also in sports.

—Edra and Tom Wheelock

Your wife was a special lady to you and many other people. We can only hope that we can be so active.

—Mary Jean and Maurice Reimers

Verna was such a special person.

—Mary Watkins

As the sun sets on Verna’s long and prolific life, may many warm memories remain.

—Pat Thompson

CHAPTER 2:

A LIFE BEGINS

The baby girl born Nov. 1, 1927 near Greenwood entered life as one of a goodly number of third-generation residents of two families in McHenry County, Illinois; she had 16 aunts and uncles from the first generations of Lathrops and Nortons born in McHenry County.

Soil formed centuries earlier in the bed of a vast lake of runoff waters of the ice age was, in the 20th Century, a relatively flat and fertile land. Verna’s two preceding generations had been farmers in the county: the Lathrop line, in Walter, however, went 11 generations back to the 1643 arrival of Mark Lathrop from Cherry Burton, Yorkshire, England; the Norton side, from Spring Grove, also in McHenry County, was said to have come also from Yorkshire, England, but the date and location had been forgotten.

The Lathrops

The Lathrop farmers first tilled American soil in Duxbury, part of the Plymouth Colony lands in Massachusetts, from the time of Mark Lathrop’s arrival in 1643. While farming in Massachusetts, a grandson of Mark had married into the Plymouth Colony, wedding the granddaughter of John and Priscilla Mullins Alden. Moves over more than 200 years had taken descendants of that family to Oxford County, Maine (one was a member of Ethan Allen’s Green Mountain Boys in the Revolutionary War), Onondago, New York, Lorain County, Ohio, and in the 19th Century to Kane County, Illinois (one relative served in the Civil War). Willis—grandfather of the baby girl, had left Kane County (near the city of Elgin) for farming in McHenry County, near Union, southwest of Woodstock.

In addition to her father, Walter, paternal grandparents Willis and Mattie Lathrop parented the wee babe’s one Lathrop aunt, Leona, and five Lathrop uncles: Arthur, Jesse, Willis, Raymond, and Leon.

017_b_images.jpg

Lathrop grandparents

The Nortons

The Norton family of farmers was also in McHenry County, at Spring Grove, when the youngest daughter, Cora Belle, married Walter Lathrop in 1919. Verna’s maternal grandparents, Joseph and Martha Norton, produced a family including three Norton uncles—George, Billy, and one whose name we have lost; and five aunts: Alice, Laura, Dora, Elizabeth, Nettie, plus Cora.

017_a_images.jpg

Norton grandparents

That number of aunts and uncles produced many cousins for baby Verna and her brother Bob. Most of these relatives stayed near when they formed their families. Some became farmers, fewer than in earlier generations; others went to small factories located in towns nearby. For example, the Woodstock typewriter, a brand sold nationally into the 1940s, was produced in Woodstock town. Branch factories and machine shops of various companies had popped up to attract the growing excess of farm boys available as trainable laborers no longer needed on the land as farm sizes increased and mechanization spread.

In their early times, the Depression Years, outside social life for farm and small-town families centered mainly on visiting near relatives. For some, going to movies was a major social activity, but that cost money—even twenty to thirty-five cents could be a budget-buster in the depth of the Depression. For the Lathrops and Nortons, family gatherings were the center of social life. Verna never completely lost some negative feelings about dairy cows because the weekend picnics and visits always ended at mid-afternoon because We had to get home to milk those stinking cows! That meant an early end to the games with all those cousins.

The Depression started in agriculture some years before the Stock Market Crash of 1929. Farms bought in the middle 1920s, with mortgages and often down payments borrowed from family members, lost much of their dollar value even before the Crash. Farm foreclosures had become common before the advent of The New Deal programs of the first Democratic administration since the end of World War I, most triggered by the banks and insurance companies holding the mortgage papers.

End of the Dairy Enterprise

Walter and Cora, with just two children (a small farm family for that period when families grew their own labor force) came to the end of their dairy-farming enterprise in 1933 or 1934. Walter’s father. Willis, already retired and living with Mattie in Greenwood village, needed repayment of the enabling loan that had set them up in the dairy business. That meant selling off the dairy herd and equipment.

The little family had held out for more than a decade in the dairy business through these farm depression years, ekeing out a living, but little more.

019_a_images.jpg

Walter’s family Walter, Cora, Robert, Verna

In addition to the crop production—hay and some acreage of grains—Walter had met the demands placed on a farmer as builder, repairman, and guardian of the health of his animals: dairy cows and a few horses kept as the implements of power for plowing, harvesting, and storing the products of the farm.

Cora had mastered the extended range of skills required in homemaking: cooking, cleaning, sewing, quilting, family health, child-rearing, gardening, food processing and storage, and much more. Throughout her life, Cora was noted among her family for embroidery, quilting, curtain-making, and construction of most of the children’s school, play, and work garments, in addition to shirts for Walter