Where’S Opie?: Life Goes On

By Donald Ross

Five years of hope and frustration, beginning in November of 2006, filled the pages of Wheres Opie? Vanished in Chicago, story of our family and our missing son Jesse Opie Ross.

Wheres Opie? Life goes on beginning in January 2012, takes you on a year long journey inside our lives, day by day; A chance to feel what we felt; do what we did. An opportunity to sense the reality of a missing loved one, without the terrible sacrifice our family has had to endure in order to make this journey. A journal, a book of verse, a soul searching chronicle of finding value in an incomplete life. Meet those who have made our lives fuller, and those who have made our lives frustrating and tragic. Make your own judgments as to what is right and what is wrong.

My name is Donald Ross, Jesses father. I make no apologies for the contents of this book. It is life as my family has lived it, uncensored and uncut. My hope is that it will reach someone with a heart and motivate them to help us write the last great chapter, when Jesse is united with his family once more.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 10, 2013
• ISBN: 9781479774524

Donald Ross

Donald Ross was born June 27th, 1948 in Mansfield Missouri and raised in Wichita, KS. He attended Peabody High School in Peabody Kansas; He has about 35 hours of Computer-related college credits; He served in the US Army in the ‘60’s and ‘70’s, was a dishwasher, police officer, security guard, construction worker, accounting clerk, and finally became a Data Processing Associate for AT&T. In 1981 where he met his wife to be Donna and they were married in 1982. In 1984, son Andy Ross was born; in 1987, son Jesse Ross was born. On November 21st, 2006, at age 19, Jesse disappeared in Chicago Illinois while attending a school sponsored Model UN conference. The Ross’ are retired and living in Belton Missouri. This is Mr. Ross’ second book, based on his experiences as the father of a missing person.

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Donald Ross.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2013900157

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4797-7451-7

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4797-7450-0

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4797-7452-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the

product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance

to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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Contents

Chapter 1      January 2012

Chapter 2      February 2012

Chapter 3      March 2012

Chapter 4      April 2012

Chapter 5      May 2012

Chapter 6      June 2012

Chapter 7      July 2012

Chapter 8      August 2012

Chapter 9      September 2012

Chapter 10      October 2012

Chapter 11      November 2012

Chapter 12      December 2012

Epilogue

Appendix A      New Verse

Appendix B      People

Appendix C      Location, Location, Location

JESSE WARREN ROSS

Intro from Where’s Opie? Vanished in Chicago

Jesse was born on February 18th, 1987 at the KU Medical Center around 4:00 am.

True to his nature, he popped out on his due date!

Jesse attended 3 and 4 year old preschool at Raytown South High School, part of the Early Childhood program. We called it ‘Jesse and his girls’ These were high school girls who earned credits working with the preschoolers in the program.

He then went to St. Regis Grade School—kindergarten through 8th grade—and attended St. Regis Catholic Church with his family. Jesse was involved in various service projects, for example, assisting at St. Monica’s daycare in downtown Kansas City. He played Soccer, ran Track, joined Cub Scouts and later Boy Scouts. Jesse loves all kinds of sports (especially the Kansas City Chiefs and KU) & would also watch Charlie Brown & Snoopy holiday movies with his Mom. One Halloween, he even dressed up as Snoopy!

Jesse worked a concession stand at a ball field in Kansas City and was recognized for his salesmanship and ability to organize. He went to Jeff City with his father and a group from St. Regis Catholic Church to support Pro-life legislation. Jesse’s outgoing personality both endeared and frustrated his teachers at times. For his 8th grade trip, Jesse went to Chicago with his father and fellow students.

Jesse attended Archbishop O’Hara High School and graduated in 2005. He ran Track, Cross Country, was on the Yearbook staff, participated in the Knowledge Bowl, and was a ‘Bleacher Bum’ (pep club). Jesse worked for the East Glen 16 Theatres in Lee’s Summit. He worked with his brother, Andy and they formed many lasting friendships with their co-workers from the theater. Andy and Jesse loved to hang out at the Steak and Shake with their co-workers and to preview new movies at the theatre. One of his co-workers was part of a band called A Dead Giveaway. Jesse became involved with the band and their family members. He traveled with the band and helped organize events. The band has become part of our extended family. Later he worked at the Super Target store in Lee’s Summit. For his senior project, Jesse organized a battle of the bands and raised over $600 for the Catholic Worker House. Upon graduation, Jesse received an academic scholarship based on his ACT score.

Jesse attends UMKC, majoring in Communications, with a minor in Politics. In 2005, he went to Chicago for the Mock UN Convention. Jesse was a member of the Spirit Committee, helping to organize various activities on campus. Jesse worked for Crowd Systems, where he was able to attend concerts and sports events working as security. He was especially excited when he worked Chief’s football and KU basketball games. Jesse became an intern at 95.7 the Vibe, a popular KC radio station. They created an on-air personality for Jesse, as part of the morning show Shorty and the Boyz. Jesse loves his music (loud) and working remote broadcasts; A job made in heaven for a 20 year old! They called him ‘Opie Cunningham’. Jesse was looking forward to his promotion as a paid member of Shorty and the Boyz in January 2007. Also, in the fall of 2006 he started working for Nuvio, a voice over internet provider. Jesse was pledging the Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity.

This is the rest of the story… . (November 21st, 2006 Jesse disappeared in Chicago.)

Dedication

This Book is dedicated to Jesse Ross and the countless missing and unidentified; and those who wait and hope for their return. Also to George Robison, my wife’s father, who passed in March of 2012 and who was both loving father and husband to two families in his lifetime; And to all those who have been there for us since that terrible day in November.

Acknowledgments

I’d like to thank Michael Tabman and Jannel Rap who came to me in a dream and said write this book. To my wife and sons, my daily inspiration.

Foreword

By Bryce Veazey

The ways in which Jesse Ross’s Disappearance has affected my life continue to grow on a daily basis. One day it’s the realization of how vulnerable we are as human beings, the next day it’s how important it is to support those around us who are hurting, and the day after that it may be just how much I miss my friend; and further more what having a friend really means…

Before his passing in 2009, my grandfather gifted me with a jewel of wisdom that has always remained in my heart. A motto that was evident in his life, and that I attempt to continue in my own: Friends are the most important thing in life. There are plenty of studies that have supported the importance of having meaningful relationships with others, the physically damaging nature of loneliness, and the human need for friendship; however it wasn’t until I heard it from him that it stuck in my heart. I wish that the wisdom had reached me sooner, by the time I was mature enough to grasp my grandfather’s words Jesse had been missing for nearly 3 years. However, it brought understanding to why I had become involved in the efforts to find him. He was my friend. I felt a personal responsibility to honor him, and support his family. He was, and still is, Important to me.

My involvement with the efforts to find Jesse developed out of a call that was too loud to be ignored. Knowing the crippling despair that the family must have been feeling, my friends and I turned to only thing we knew how to do… play music. Since our earliest high school days, my friends and I had played music together, eventually this grew into actually establishing a band and playing shows around the Kansas City area. I first got to know Jesse when he started coming to shows. Working at a local movie theater, Jesse had met our drummer Brandon Woodall. After getting to know each other at work, Brandon invited Jesse to a show. Jesse enthusiastically attended (he was always enthusiastic when it came to live music). From that point on, Jesse was like a member of the band. He traveled with us, he booked and promoted shows for us, he was part of us.

Music was a common ground that had brought us into contact with Jesse, it was important in his life, and ours; and with him suddenly subtracted from our equation, it felt like the only thing to do, was to amplify the music. Create a joined voice that would speak loud enough for all others to hear. Opiefest was the result of our joined ideas. For those of you who are not familiar with Opiefest, it’s a special missing persons awareness event created in honor of Jesse. Each Opiefest features live music, missing persons displays and information, as well as free food and raffle items. In the beginning it felt as if our efforts with Opiefest would perhaps lead to his finding. We thought that getting our event featured on the news and other media outlets might produce some new leads from individuals who knew what had happened to him; but more and more these days I’m starting to understand that what Opiefest really does, is bring us all together with one common thread… Jesse. We gather under one roof and we remember him, not only him, but all those who have gone missing.

At times if feels strange, to think that the reason I’ve become such close friends with the Ross family is because of Jesse’s disappearance. Then I remember what my grandfather told me… friends are the most important thing in life . . . and I realize that I’ve gained more friends than I’ve lost; and in a way, there is joy to be found in that.

Introduction

I woke up this morning thinking about Michael Tabman, and Jannel Rap, and about writing a new book. My brain wouldn’t stop, so I got up. As usual I went to the kitchen and opened the blinds.

Looking out the back window, I saw the ground was covered with a flock of large black birds, scouring the ground for seeds. I began to think of Poe and Ravens. Where’s Opie? Vanished in Chicago, my first book was an idea that was planted in my brain; suddenly it had a life of its own and before I knew it, it was a book. Now this new idea is more of a tall sinister man in a black cloak, dark shiny hair, pale skin, hypnotic eyes saying you vill write this book, in his best Transylvanian accent. I can’t refuse, even if I want to. I have heard that taking a human life is easier after the first time; this could be the start of something evil… . or not.

For those who consider writing their own book, let me say it started for me as journaling. Start writing or typing the events and thoughts that are part of your experience. Then begin to get a feel for how you want them organized. Look over some of your favorite books and see how they are organized. Chances are that if the topic is really coming from your heart, the words will flow. There are those days when nothing seems to come, but give it time. When and if you decide to publish, ask around and get a reputable publisher. There is some expense involved, so it is worth the effort to do it right. Also in my first book I avoided naming names. In this volume all will get credit or blame accordingly. Here is the 15 minutes of fame for all concerned.

Chapter 1

January 2012

Jeremiah Buschmann:

I can say one thing as the people that knew Jesse always had a smile on their face with his sarcasm. He would always see the finer points in all parts of life even when you think there weren’t any good around at all

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Andy’s new dog, Lala

January has been unseasonably warm this year. Some one said the last time it was this warm was in the 1930’s? I imagine Chicago is still inhospitable.

I would like to be able to tell you that Jesse has been found but, that is not the case. However we are entering year 5 with a renewed sense of hope, and determination to get some answers. We sent a letter to the Mayor’s office in Chicago, and formally requested that Jesse’s case be reassigned to someone who can make some real progress. So far the powers that be maintain a wall of silence.

Catching up, "Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone". Andy has a new dog, Kilala (some Japanese cartoon character). She is a miniature daschund, red in color, and with more personality than most people I know. She has melted our hearts.

I have spent the month promoting my book; Where’s Opie? Vanished in Chicago a modest beginning, I have sold about 60 copies myself. As yet I don’t know how many copies have been sold through other sources, (Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com, and countless other distributers of which I have never heard). I notice Amazon.com was offering the book in Germany and England. A friend in Ecuador bought a copy through another friend in Miami. I have received many positive comments from those who have read the book. Have to wait to see what my enemies say. For awhile I was signing and posting books on a daily basis. I was especially enthused to send a courtesy copy to Chicago police; Hope they have read it. I am sure they will appreciate my opinion of their work, expressed openly in various chapters in the book. In the letter addressed to the Mayor’s office, I have also suggested that his honor the Mayor get and read the book after the police finish with it.

I would like to take this moment to thank David Lohr, crime reporter, for his excellent article on Jesse and my book, in the Huffington Post. Professionals like David give us hope and keep Jesse and other missing in the news, Following are excerpts from that article (copyrighted material used with written consent from publisher):

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David Lohr [e-mail] Become a fan of this reporter

Jesse Ross Missing: Student’s Mysterious

Disappearance Chronicled In New Book

The father of missing University of Missouri student Jesse Opie Ross has chronicled more than five years of searching for answers in a newly released book, Where’s Opie?: Vanished in Chicago.

Ross’ father, Donald Ross, described the book as part personal therapy, and told The Huffington Post he hopes the book will help others who are in a similar situation.

[This is] not a work of fiction, but the true story of one family’s awakening into the world of the missing, he said. Personally for me, this is a chance to bring some order to chaos and, if you will, a little personal therapy. Also, to share some insight that may be helpful to others in our position.

According to Ross, the pain of not knowing what happened to Jesse remains as strong for his family today as it felt when his son first went missing.

This [book] is the story of Jesse, of his mother, brother, myself and our quest for some resolution to his case, he said. "[It is] part history book, part journal—a product of my frustration with police and my desire to tell Jesse’s story to as many people as possible."

*     *     *

If you get the opportunity, read the whole article, it is very well written.

Note: Just a random thought, Facebook needs some competition.

January starts the year for most; for us it starts on November 22nd, day after Jesse went missing. Police don’t seem to grasp that November 21st, 2006, for us is not a fixed date in time; It is like ground hog day. This day keeps repeating, every morning we get up and start our day. You can’t just talk to someone or start life all over again; rather you are stuck, like a broken record. Still the rest of life moves on and we have to try to keep up while some part of us is locked into the past. And we are not alone; we track friends and acquaintances on Facebook. They travel their own paths, some similar to ours, others not so much. If it weren’t for hope, their might be little reason to carry on; We hold tight to the belief that somehow things will get better, that something will break and the investigation will find a new life of it’s own. Journalists seem to have more of a grasp of the humanity of such things; whereas police are all about facts and evidence, and don’t really have much to offer in the way of support or comfort.

Chapter 2

February 2012

Brandie Ross

I remember coming up to see you guys before camp. Jessie was 2 or 3. You would say monster and he would put his hands up and roar, we would just crack up. That was my best memory of him

The band a Dead Giveaway and myself are planning a trip to Chicago and surrounding area; more about that later; Also in the works, a book sale and signing in February at our church, around Jesse’s birthday. Almost daily I send petitions and postcards to Chicago police, they send me… . nothing.

February 4th, 2012, in Wichita visiting family and delivering books for family members and friends. Signing books for family, I think of the biblical verse about a prophet without honor in his own country. Oh yes, that’s Don, they may say. Still everyone seems excited about the book. My sister Diane and her husband, Monty, have a house guest Elly. She is a foreign exchange student from Germany. Several other family members have also participated in this program; now there is a bond and we have extended family in another country. This is so cool, but Donna, my wife, is not comfortable with the idea of us taking in a student. Jesse seems to flavor all our actions; maybe I am looking for a substitute, I don’t know, but it would be nice to fill the house with the sound of youthful exuberance, again. No right or wrong, just feelings.

February 11, 2012 we have learned the lady from Michigan, Megan, is moving to Illinois. I have sent a postcard to Chicago police suggesting it might be easier to interview her. She is the person who was with Jesse so much of the time he was in Chicago. This is exciting for us; hopefully it will rekindle some interest on the part of those detectives charged with finding our son. I think they may believe we will go away, but this is a new year, and we have a whole new strategy in mind. I emailed ‘Ellen’ and ‘Doctor Phil’ looking for some help with Jesse’s story. No response. The ID Discovery channel is looking for new ideas for their up and coming season. We have been in touch.

I am reminded of a movie Where the heart is, about a young woman and the difficult life of a single mother beginning a new life among strangers. Throughout her life the number 5 has always preceded bad luck, we hope that for us the number 5 will be charmed; year 5, time for some answers. Donna and I are not getting any younger and we worry about Andy. Will he find faith, or perhaps a partner to share what life brings? When we are gone, he will be the sole surviving member of our immediate family, and we are concerned for him. We would like to see this whole thing come to some conclusion before we are gone. Of course life has taught us, we do not control a lot; still we can hope.

My wife’s family wants to return to South Padre Island one more time (folks are getting older). I am having difficulty with this as my memories of Padre are wrapped so tightly with memories of Jesse. Sept 11th, 2001 World Trade Center’s came down, terrible; but my family and I were on Padre. Great memories of family times with Donna and the boys; I am torn between so many great memories and bad memories and I don’t know if I can face Padre again. Donna wants to go, so I will be there for her. I let her go alone once with her family, and the boys, so young, stayed with my folks. It was hard on us and I don’t want to do that again, especially now that we carry an extra burden. If something happened to Donna, I don’t know what I would do. She says Andy might go, so there are two to worry over. I will try not to think too hard about it and just do what is right.

February 11th, 2012, spent the evening with Donna’s family. Beef Brisket and watched the KU basketball game. Home in time to watch some old horror classic: Son of Frankenstein.

February 12, 2012, dreamt I was in a classroom. There were legos on the floor, arranged to represent different cities. A little boy was arranging the legos and explaining what they meant. I then found myself outside and I realized the boy was Jesse. This terrible pain started in my abdomen and spread to my chest. I was leaning against a building and I turned so no one could see my pain. The building was smooth like marble and there was a young woman, a teacher, inside the building. When she looked out, I turned away so she wouldn’t have to see the terrible thing I was feeling. Fortunately dreams end and I woke up about 6:00 am

February 13, 2012, Cold and snowy, but tomorrow it is supposed to be gone. I hadn’t planned on doing any shoveling, but the neighbor and her son got out and shoveled our driveway. That is where our strength comes from, good people all over.

February 14, 2012, Happy Valentines day to all. We trade hearts here at home. Mine has a hole in it that won’t heal, but that is okay, so does her’s. We still treasure them. That hole is a memorial of sorts; it will only close if our son comes home. If not, if we find out the worst, well at least we can find a way to live with that hole, until we go home and find him waiting there to welcome us.

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February 16, 2012, Slept til 2 pm, lost in dreams. Unable to get up and face reality today. When I did get up Donna was working on the basement steps, applying some finish. She has the patience for such things, not I. Later she confessed she had been crying, thinking about Jesse. I guess today is just one of those days. We come to realize it never goes away; we just cope from day to day. I talked on the phone to Bryce Veazey from A Dead Giveaway. I will meet with him and other band members tomorrow to talk about Chicago and future plans. This is life, taking care of business and wrestling with emotions. I feel like I’m on one of those bull’s they ride at the cowboy clubs, never knowing when it will start bucking again.

It has warmed up outside today, we should be feeling good, but who knows what a day will bring. One bright note got a card from Janie, our friend in Colorado. She seems to have anticipated that we would need a boost today. Just wanted to let us know we were on her mind and in her prayers. She also sent Jesse/birthday cards to Chicago Mayor and police. They will never be allowed to see Jesse as less than a human being. Thanks Janie.

February 17, 2012, later we will be joining the band boys at Chipotles, for our Chicago planning meeting. Looking forward to seeing them; echoes of Jesse. Both of our boys love Chipotles; on one trip to Chicago we learned that Jesse ate at Chipotles near the conference hotel.

I think my body was telling me something yesterday, when I slept so long. It needed a rest. This morning I woke up, did my workout and feel refreshed. I don’t remember the specifics of my dreams but they left me with a sense of comfort. Think it is important to listen to our bodies, they tell us when we need to slow down.

Saturday, Jesse’s birthday, we will drive up and see Andy for lunch, then Sunday book sale at the church.

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Had a good time at Chipotles with the boys; I say boys but they are young men. Bryce just finished a trip to various places around the globe. Last stop was Guatemala. Jon is student teaching; Jesse is preparing for his wedding in Jamaica. Cory is hoping for a job in Missouri, does not care to work in one state and live in another. Woody had to work so he couldn’t make the meeting. They are all pumped at the prospect of returning to Chicago, and working for our cause. Plans seem to be coming together for Chicago, Bryce has made contact with some people and I am working with mine.

February 18, 2012, happy birthday Jesse, wherever you are, hope that God is looking out for you and that you are safe and well. We miss you more than we can say. We are driving up to Warrensburg to have lunch with Andy and Ki and celebrate your day. Keep safe until we see you again.

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February 19, 2012, had our book sale and signing. We sold all 32 copies that we had on hand, so I used part of our proceeds to order more for future sales. That makes about 92 copies sold, that I know of. People were very supportive, financially and emotionally. We are never quite sure what we achieve from doing these things, but when we start travelling and putting on events, the money comes in really handy, plus we get exposure for Jesse as well as the warm feelings we got talking to others about Jesse. Somehow we have to get some leverage so we