Heartache Vs. Heartbreak

By Sandi Lorraine

When Sheriff Brice Hawkins was called to investigate the disappearance of a seven-year-old boy, he wasnt prepared to come face to face with the mother of his ten-year-old son. She had deserted them years before, but now here she stood before him, wanting to rekindle the flame that had been between them. And as she crawled into his bed again, he realized that he had never really gotten over her.

However, now he had Mira. She was his best friend, favorite companion, and the woman that Grady wanted for his mother. It wasnt going to make any difference how he leaped; someone was going to get hurt. Who would it be?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 7, 2012
• ISBN: 9781479736942

Sandi Lorraine

I grew up in the Midwest farming area, married my high school sweetheart, and moved to the big city, where our three children were born. Later we moved back to that same rural community so our children could grow up in a smaller school complex. Living in two different worlds taught me not only how to accept the different aspects of people that surround me but how necessary it is to do so. I was fortunate enough to work in a food management position for many years, giving me insight in working with all ethnic groups. After retiring, my husband and I operated a hunting and shooting preserve and had the opportunity of hosting hunting dog trials, getting to meet people from all over the world. I enjoy writing about everyday people in everyday situations. One doesn’t have to be a millionaire to experience a good romantic relationship. You just follow your heart.

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

H EY, HAWK! WE SURE COULD use your help right away! Chief Deputy Doug Schmelling stated as Warren County Sheriff Brice Hawkins answered his phone. We’ve got a missing child!"

This was not a good time to be getting a call like this, as far as Brice was concerned. He was right in the middle of coaching a tightly matched baseball game for his little league team, and stopping what he was doing right in the middle of it was not an option. He stepped off to the side of the field and motioned for his assistants, Ken Roberts and Mira Phillips, to take over.

What’s the situation? he asked.

Well, Doug started telling him, it seems the mother was late getting home from work and thought the boy was with the babysitter. The babysitter thought he was outside playing with the neighbor kids, and the neighbor kids say he climbed in a black car with his uncle Matt!

So call the uncle and see where the boy is! Brice said, half disgusted because he had just missed an important play by one of his boys.

That’s the problem! Doug slowly stated. The mother says there is no Uncle Matt!

Damn! Brice swore. How old is the boy, and what’s his parent’s name?

The mother’s name is Jalynn Cooper, the boy’s name is Ryan. He’s seven years old, and there is no father in the picture, except the mother insists that it had to be the father that kidnapped the boy.

Okay! Suddenly, the mother’s name hit an offbeat chord with Brice. Where are you? I’ll be there just as soon as this game is over. In the meantime, have Annie get ahold of the state troopers, the Feds, and get a picture in to her so she can get an Amber alert out right away with some of the details.

I’m in Milo. Then Doug gave him the home address.

Brice snapped his phone shut and looked directly at his ten-year-old son, Grady, who had just missed a player stealing second base because he had been watching his dad instead of what he was supposed to be doing and worrying about him getting an emergency call.

Grady! Pay attention! his dad yelled at him. Everything’s okay. Play the game!

A big grin swept across Grady’s face, and he got back to the business of playing second baseman.

Brice had trouble concentrating on the game after that. The name Jalynn kept running through his head. It was a name he had tried for years to forget and had finally succeeded. Grady’s mother’s name was Jalynn Richards, and they had been lovers while attending college at Auburn University. Their relationship together had been a whirlwind of partying, drinking, and wild sex. She had been his sex goddess, and even though he thought they had cared for each other, he knew later that there really hadn’t been much love involved in it—anyway, none on her part. After Jalynn had slipped up in taking her birth control pills and became pregnant, life had changed completely between them, and both were unhappy since partying and drinking could no longer take place like it had before. Therefore, the wild sex had subsided too. It was almost as if they didn’t know what to do with each other. She had complained constantly about how she looked and made it plain that she was unhappy with the situation, plus they were always fighting because she had wanted an abortion, and Brice wouldn’t hear of it. Three months after Grady was born, she had walked out on the two of them and had never looked back.

Brice had quit college, moved back home to Iowa, and taken on the responsibility of raising Grady by himself. Thank goodness for his parents as they had helped him out while he tried holding down a job and going to Camp Dodge at the same time to become a policeman. For several years he worked as a rookie cop in Des Moines, while he finished working on getting a degree in criminal justice at a local college. He had moved to this county seat town when Grady was six years old, had worked as a deputy for a couple of years, and now had been voted in as the sheriff when the one preceding him retired.

When his dad had passed away with a heart attack, he had moved his mom closer to him and Grady so he could look out for her. At the same time he paid her instead of a babysitter to keep Grady for him when needed.

Grady was his whole life, and he tried to spend all his free time with him, making things happen that would help fulfill the gap of never knowing his mother. And now, when summer arrived and they needed a coach for the little league baseball team, Brice had taken on the challenge.

When the game was over and his boys had won by a minor margin, everyone was excited. Usually if the boys won, he would take them all to the Pizza Hut for pizza as a treat. But today, he knew he had to get going, so he made arrangements with Ken and Mira to take them. He also made arrangements with Mira to take Grady for the rest of the evening since he had no idea when he would be getting home. A case of a missing child was something you just couldn’t walk away from. You stuck with the case as long as you could or until the child was found.

Mira was his best friend and the mother of Grady’s best friend, Copper. She was a single mother and did a darned good job of raising Copper. She lived with her mother and worked as a waitress at one of the diners up town. Brice had met her at a support group luncheon when he had been asked to teach a quick course in self-defense to a group of young women and Mira had been there speaking to them at the same time about what it was like to be a rape victim and some of the things they could do to help prevent it from happening to them.

Mira had left home when she was fifteen years old, had joined a gang, and at the age of eighteen, had returned home, beaten, gang-raped, and pregnant. At the age of twenty-one, she had started visiting local high schools to talk to young teens about the dangers out in the real world, and by the time Brice met her, she was not only going to high schools all over but to women’s groups of all ages, speaking.

She was a small-featured, five-foot-three-inch bombshell, just waiting to go off if needed to straighten out anyone that she didn’t agree with, was a little rough around the edges, but was a good person, and Brice admired her spunk and dedication to her son and to her cause. She had tattoos on her arms, around her ankles and calves of her shapely legs, on her neck, and on the cleavage of both breasts, which she liked to show off while she was waitressing by wearing her tops a little too low cut. And he was sure she probably had tattoos in some places he didn’t really care to know about. Her long, curly hair was the color of a shiny new copper penny, just like her son’s. Brice knew her son had a real name, but all he had ever known him as was Copper. She and Brice had struck up a good, solid friendship and did a lot of things together, just because of the two boys. When she needed a friend to lean on, he was there, and vice versa. When he needed someone to watch Grady for him, she was always willing, and Brice knew his son was in good, safe hands.

When Brice got ready to leave the ball field, he gave Grady a hug and explained where he was going and why he might be gone for a while. Grady always worried if he thought his dad was in danger, so Brice wanted to make sure that Grady knew that tonight, he would be safe. Grady accepted it well and went off to join the rest of the team as they crawled in Ken’s van to go eat pizza. Before handing Mira his debit card so she could pay for the team’s meal, Brice watched Grady crawl in the van, thinking how glad he was that Grady looked more like him, with his dark brown hair and dark eyes that snapped, than his mother. Grady was taller than some of the other boys in his class and gangly, so Brice assumed he would probably be built just like he was when he grew up.

Keep me informed! Mira told him as he climbed in his Ford Explorer to leave for the little town of Milo.

Will do. He grinned and left.

Milo was a small town of about eight hundred people and was about fifteen miles away from the county seat, where Brice and Grady lived. Driving there gave Brice time to reflect back once more on the life he had with Jalynn and all the fun they had together before she had become pregnant. And when she had walked out on him and Grady, he had been devastated. She had left him bitter and heartbroken when he saw his future career as a lawyer go down the tube. And as the years passed by and she had never made an attempt to see her son again, Brice had eventually forgotten, but never forgiven her.

Now, he couldn’t imagine life without Grady and didn’t even want to think about what this mother must be going through by the loss of her son. If someone was ever to try to take Grady away from him, Brice hated to think what he would do to the person with his own bare hands.

He was thirty-five years old, stood six feet tall, and had developed into a pretty good stalwart figure, he thought. All his time spent in the gymnasium working out to keep fit as a sheriff seemed to be working out in his favor. However, he hadn’t had a good date with anyone since Jalynn had left him. Not because he hadn’t had plenty of offers, but because he just hadn’t been interested and he just couldn’t seem to find anyone that fit his lifestyle. It seemed that as soon as he thought he had found someone and they found out that he was a single parent dedicated to his son and worked law enforcement hours, they weren’t interested. Sometimes he thought maybe he had the wrong concept of what a good woman was all about as he sure didn’t seem to have good luck in finding one. He spent his spare time doing things with Grady, so going to places where singles hung out wasn’t his thing. And he hadn’t considered himself desperate enough to try the dating thing over the Internet.

By the time he reached the address given to him in Milo, there were already two state trooper cars sitting in front of the house, plus Doug’s vehicle. He hadn’t taken the time to change clothes but had come straight to the scene in his khaki-colored carpenter shorts and his purple coach’s T-shirt. Doug met him in the front yard and gave him some more information before entering the house, where the distraught mother was.

Doug had phone faxed a picture of the boy to Annie back at the Sheriff’s department, and Annie told him that as soon as they had more information, the Federal boys would determine if they needed to be in on the search or not. The neighborhood kids said that the vehicle was described as an SUV, but no one knew what the license was. And according to one little boy, this wasn’t the first time that Uncle Matt had stopped to talk to Ryan. When Brice asked what Uncle Matt looked like, Doug confessed that he really didn’t get a good description from the kids. So Brice decided that he wanted to talk to all the kids again before going in the house.

Doug helped him round them all up again and sat them down on the curb. Brice squatted down on their level and talked to them just like he would have if it had been Grady while several of the mothers were anxiously standing by, making sure their little darlings weren’t being abused by the police force. Brice soon found out that the kids all had different descriptions of the man that Ryan had crawled in the car with. However, they all agreed that he was about the same age as him and Doug, had real dark hair and possibly a mustache and a goatee. No one knew how big he was because he hadn’t gotten out of the car, but they all thought he was tall. He had just pulled up beside Ryan, rolled down the car window, and started talking to him, just like he had several times before that. All the kids had a different idea of what make the SUV was too. One little boy stood his ground, stating that the SUV looked just like his mom’s. So if that was true, it had to be a newer model GMC or Chevrolet.

The babysitter is just as upset as the mother, Doug told Brice as they walked to the house. She’s blaming herself and feels the mother probably is too.

Trooper Greg Johnson met Brice at the door, and they talked about the situation a bit before he proceeded on to the living room, where the mother and the babysitter were talking to the other trooper that was involved.

And there she was! Just like he remembered her. He couldn’t believe what his eyes were telling him as they skimmed over the same petite, long, blonde-haired beauty that had given birth to his son. And she didn’t look a day older than she did the day she walked out on them, ten years ago.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, washing away all her eye makeup right along with them. She didn’t look up when he walked in the room as she was still talking to the trooper. Brice stood in disbelief, trying to collect his composure, before speaking to her. His better judgment was telling him to turn and walk out the door and let someone else handle this case. But he knew he couldn’t do that.

Finally, he mustered up enough courage to approach her. The look in her eyes told him that she was just as shocked to see him as he was when he spoke to her.

Hawk! She stood up and flung her arms around him, taking him completely by surprise and off guard. I don’t know where you came from, but I’m so tickled to see you! she chortled.

I just bet you are! His voice cracked with cold, deep, stoic distaste, letting it be known he wasn’t near as excited to see her as she seemed to be in seeing him. He took ahold of her arms and pushed her away, holding her at bay while studying her reaction.

I take it you two know each other. Trooper Johnson grinned.

Oh yes! Brice scowled. We know each other!

She looked up at him with such pleading sad eyes that, just for a moment, he felt sorry for her. But then, just that quick, he didn’t as those old unforgiving feelings hit him again. He let go of her and stepped back away from her, sitting down on the arm of one of the other stuffed chairs, so he could talk to her and the babysitter. He had to forget about the past right now and concentrate on the missing boy. As far as he was concerned, she was just another person with a problem that his department had to try to straighten out.

What makes you think it’s the boy’s father that kidnapped him? he asked.

Because he’s been searching for him now for over three years, but somehow, we’ve managed to stay free from him. Casting an enigmatic glance at Brice, she started sobbing again as she sat back down on the davenport.

Does he have any custody rights? Brice continued to probe.

He knew instantly by the look in her eyes that she had been caught up in her own little secret, and she didn’t want to answer. So he asked her again, repeating the question.

Yes, she finally answered.

What are they? Brice asked.

He’s to have him every other week and on the holidays, she answered, shrugging her shoulders.

So why isn’t he getting that privilege? Why are you trying to keep the boy from him?

I’m scared of him. I don’t think he will ever hurt Ryan, but I know different when it comes to me. Plus I don’t know if he would bring Ryan back to me like he’s supposed to. She glanced at Brice, then up at the two troopers, then back to the floor.

If that’s the case, why doesn’t the court order supervised visitations?

Glaring at him, she didn’t answer immediately. Finally she answered, They just don’t understand. Besides, they’re on his side.

Then Brice continued, So were you married, divorced, or just living with him?

Married.

And what happened? Did you just decide one day to walk out on him, like you’ve been known to do before?

Quietly scowling, she answered, I had to walk! There’s no such thing as divorcing a man like him. I had to pack Ryan up and escape to keep from getting beaten half to death!

So why did you just lie to me about his custody rights? Brice frowned as he dug deeper.

Because I don’t know who to trust and who not to.

Brice studied her for a few seconds, then he accused, Are you sure you didn’t stage this, just so you could get back at your husband?

Just that quick, she shot daggers at him. How dare you accuse me of such a thing!

Oh, just because I know how you are! he slowly answered, glancing up at the surprised look on both of the troopers’ faces. Then he leaned forward and studied her deeper. "So, let’s start all over again. And you damned well better not be leading us on a wild-goose chase with