The Fog

By Shelby Nolan

Crying, Rocky slid down onto the floor and John walked around to ease down beside her. Pulling her against him, they sat and listened to each others heartbeats. "He's gone, baby."



Sometimes an event happens in life that affects you so strongly it makes you wonder how the people involved in the event feel, how they handled their emotions.



This book is about a woman who lost her son and is struggling to hold her marriage together without him. You must decide if The Fog is real. . . or if it's only in her mind. . .

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 14, 2012
• ISBN: 9781479707713

Shelby Nolan

Shelby Nolan and her husband live in the backdrop of the Smoky Mountains where they are the parents of three and the grandparents of three more. Shelby wrote a small novella at the age of fifteen but The Fog is the first novel she has had published. She claims the sequel is begging to be put to print.

Book preview

THE FOG

SHELBY NOLAN

Copyright © 2012 by Shelby Nolan .

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

Contents

1 The End 1982

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15 The Middle 1883

16

17

18

19 The Beginning

Dedicated to

Gary, Chip, Sarah, and Joe

I love you all very much.

1

THE END

1982

M om? Can I ride my bike?" Seven-year-old Rusty came running into the kitchen where Rocky was placing bacon strips onto the microwave rack. He came sliding to a stop beside the table and started scrunching his bare toes up and down in excited anticipation of the answer.

Nope, that wouldn’t be fair to Luke, and besides, supper will be ready in about ten minutes. I’m just fixing bacon and tomato sandwiches for us since it’s so humid and the air is still out. Wanna help me toast the bread? Rocky ruffled his hair in passing as she walked over to the table and consulted the microwave manual again. She had just gotten the new appliance and wasn’t at all sure how to set it to nuke the bacon strips. She’d barely learned to set the clock on it so far.

Please? Just to the corner and back? I’ll get off the road if a car comes. And Luke won’t mind. Honest! I told him I’d take turns with him, and he said okay. He said next week when he comes to spend the afternoon, he’d ask if he could bring his new bike with him. Besides, Dad said it was okay with him if it was okay with you. The silver streaks in his copper hair were still glistening wet, even though he had been out of their neighbor Glenda’s pool for over half an hour. His hair was so thick it would probably take another half hour to dry completely.

Damn! Can’t that man make any decisions at all by himself, or is it too much to ask him to interrupt his train of thought while he’s working on that stupid lawnmower? After all… Luke is his sister’s little boy!

The snippy thought unwittingly jumped into her mind. Rocky didn’t mean to be spiteful, but it was so hot and humid, and she had been working all day long, trying to clean the house without benefit of air-conditioning since the unit was on the blink. Not only his cousin Luke but all of the neighborhood kids loved to come and play with Rusty and usually ended up using the Hollon house as a base camp. And while normally she didn’t mind, today had seemed like a nonstop marathon keeping up after them.

Quart jars of green beans sat on the counter on a folded dish towel where she had plunked them last night after taking them from the pressure canner. Cooking, cleaning, canning… God, she was so tired—couldn’t he just make one little decision about his own son on his day off? Rocky absentmindedly tucked a wayward strand of her long dark auburn hair behind her ear before determinedly punching a button on the new microwave. She didn’t know why she felt so cross; John was better than most fathers when it came to helping with his son.

I guess so, she gave in with a sigh, but be back in ten minutes! Oh hey, go out through the garage and tell your dad to start getting cleaned up. Did Rachel go home? Rachel was Rusty’s best friend—had been since the two families had built houses across the street from each other a little over three years ago. It helped that Rachel’s mom, Glenda, had become Rocky’s good friend too.

Nope, she’s still here, Rusty hollered as his bare feet thudded back out the door. And so’s Adam! Bye!

Be careful! But the door had already slammed shut, and the words were spoken to thin air. Shaking her head, Rocky went over to the cabinet and took out paper plates for the toast. Hopefully, with fewer dishes to wash tonight, they would be able to get to the family room downstairs a lot quicker where it would be a little cooler and she would finally be able to relax. It seemed like it had been a lot more than three days since the air-conditioning had quit working, and it felt like it had been even longer since she had been able to relax. The lawnmower, the air-conditioning… the heat… what next? She felt as if her nerves had literally been stretched to the breaking point. Did this humid weather affect everybody like this, or was it just her?

She finished setting the paper plates on the table and slid down into one of the wooden captain’s chairs with a magazine for the last three minutes of the microwave’s cycle. She had just flipped a page when she heard the front door slam again.

Rocky! Come quick! Rusty fell and hit his head, and John says he can’t find no blood!

What! Where is he? Rocky bolted to her feet but immediately felt like she was moving in slow motion. She had the impression that she was standing at the edge of the room watching herself… watching herself as she grabbed the hand of Rusty’s little friend and dragged her halfway out the door. Where? she breathlessly repeated and distantly heard the beep, beep, beep of the microwave behind her, signaling that the bacon was ready.

Rachel had to stop and catch her breath. Down at that new house, where they’re building.

Rocky finally let go of Rachel’s tiny hand and flew out the door by herself. After running through the grass, the sensation of the loose gravels at the edge of the road biting into her bare feet only dimly registered in her brain.

In a town as small as Twin Hickory, there was really no need to worry every second when the kids were out playing. Their parents only had to check on the youngest of kids to make sure they weren’t up to any mischief. The construction workers had been working on the new house three doors down from the Hollons on their quiet residential street for a couple of months now, and for a town of only five hundred people, there still really wasn’t that much traffic, although the little town looked like it was now beginning to grow.

For some reason, even though it was still a one-lane road with no sidewalks, Wildwood Lane had become quite popular with several young couples with young kids. Some of the other parents thought that Rocky was overprotective for keeping such a tight rein on her seven-year-old son, but she continued to keep a close eye on him when he was outside playing and had earlier forbidden him away from the construction site. Maybe it had been another one of those gut instinct things she was always having. Now the thought only vaguely flitted through her mind that he wasn’t supposed to be down there.

As she ran onto the construction-littered lot of the new house, she saw her husband, John, laying Rusty’s body down on the ground. Don’t touch him, baby. I think his neck is broken. John sounded hoarse, like his breath was being grasped roughly out of his throat. His thick dark brown hair was drenched with sweat, and his face was red from the exertion in the heat.

Rocky ignored his command as she knelt down beside her son and immediately reached to grab him closer to her. Fear froze her blood as her fingers accidentally brushed Rusty’s shorts and they felt damp to her touch. Some analytical part of her mind suggested that maybe they were still damp from the swim earlier that afternoon, but that damn gut instinct thing was screaming something different inside her brain!

She leaned forward over her son and begged, Rusty, baby, please wake up! Kneeling there beside his limp body, her glance was drawn sideways by feet and legs moving closer to her. One pair, she knew, belonged to her husband. John? she called, trying hard not to give in to the quickly rising panic.

We’ve already called for an ambulance! some neighbors tried to reassure her. Some people she didn’t recognize were trying to pull her to her feet. In some back region of her mind, Rocky assumed that they must be her new next-door neighbors. They had only been in their new home a couple of days now, and Rocky had been going to wait another couple of days before going over to welcome them to the neighborhood. Not that she didn’t want to meet them, she just usually tried to cram so much into her summer break from school that going back to teaching a bunch of kids in the fall sometimes felt like her version of vacation. Oh man, I wanted to finish harvesting and canning most of the green beans out of the garden before I went over and rolled out the welcome mat. I hope they don’t think we’re stuck-up or something. She tried to clear her head… Good god, why would I even worry about that now! She seemed to be struggling through a thick fog.

John seemed so far away, even though he stood just a couple of feet to her side. He quickly leaned even closer to her. Rocky, baby, get the van! We’ve got to try and get him to the hospital!

John’s voice sounded strange—like he was trying hard not to let his voice shake—and that really scared Rocky. This six-foot-two-inch man was her rock! Please, God, please don’t do this to me! she begged from her heart. Please let him be okay! Please don’t take my son away from me! She jumped up and started running back to the house, praying while she ran. Oh God, oh God, oh God, please don’t take Rusty! Take me instead!

As she ran back through the yard to their house, Rocky felt like her lungs were exploding. She grabbed the door handle and yanked open the storm door in one fluid motion. Her mind was threatening to scatter into a zillion directions, and she had to force herself to try and stay calm and concentrate. Going into their bedroom, she snatched the van keys from her purse and started back out into the hallway. One of her neighbors, Carol, was just walking in the front door with the new lady from next door. The look on their faces could only be described as stunned horror, but Rocky hesitated only a second. Please watch my nephew, Luke, until I get back. And holler at Glenda to make sure she knows that Rachel and Adam are okay. Oh damn, what do I do now? She had the strange sensation of standing off to the side and watching her own actions.

Carol jumped forward to reassure her. Now, Rocky, I’m sure he’s going to be okay! He’s probably just knocked himself out!

We’ll watch the other kids for you, honey. Don’t you worry about them! chimed in the other woman. But the looks on their faces and the concern in both of their voices did nothing to calm Rocky.

She nodded absently and glanced at the clock over the mantle on the way out the door. Somewhere in her mind, she vaguely remembered the beep of the microwave going off just as Rachel had come running in to announce Rusty’s fall. Had it only been five minutes since she had given Rusty permission to ride his bike?

Rocky didn’t remember opening the door to the van, and she berated herself harshly as she struggled to insert the keys into the ignition. Come on, girl, get a grip! A dreamlike fog seemed to be taking over her brain, and she struggled to concentrate. Her child’s life may very well depend on her! Just as she was putting the van into gear, Rocky felt herself being lifted from the driver’s bucket seat and roughly dumped across the console into the passenger seat, which immediately killed the engine and caused the van to buck. What the h… Her mind couldn’t take all of this or it was going to snap!

Somehow John had appeared beside her and clambered into the driver’s seat. Baby, brace yourself. I think he’s dead… I think his neck is broken. He was speaking so calmly and matter-of-factly as he restarted the engine and looked over his shoulder to back quickly out of their driveway that Rocky was stunned at his demeanor, but she also noticed that his hands were visibly shaking on the steering wheel.

Rocky rubbed her arms. Cold chills were all over her. This just couldn’t be happening! Finally, she found her voice, but it came out in such a soft whisper that it sounded as if it belonged to someone else. John, if his neck is broken, should we move him? You’re not supposed to move people, you know, you might cut off his breathing. You might kill him! The words now rushed out on top of each other.

We don’t have any choice. John sounded so strange. The ambulance will never make it out here in time. We have to try. He was already maneuvering the van between stacks of bricks and lumber onto the construction lot. Some of the neighbors were using hand signals to guide him, and Rocky noticed that some of the others were still working on Rusty—still trying to make him breathe.

She jumped out of the passenger door of the van and yanked open the sliding door on the side. Without any wasted movements, she shoved some of their camping gear aside and made room for them to lay her son’s limp body inside. As soon as they had him loaded, the man she had assumed to be their new next-door neighbor jumped in beside him and resumed the CPR that he had been performing.

Quickly jumping in and kneeling beside her son, Rocky felt the van moving forward even before the sliding door was slammed shut from the outside. Please, she begged. Let me spell you! I remember some of the training from my old health classes.

The man glanced up at her and motioned for her to take over. Rocky reached over and slid her fingers into the depressions on her son’s nose made by the neighbor’s fingertips. As she lowered her lips onto her son’s, she whispered, Breathe short, breathe long… which is it with a little baby? Then she tried to blow precious life into Rusty’s lungs.

The neighbor heard her hesitation, grabbed her shoulder, and tried to pull her back up. He isn’t a little baby! Here, just let me do it!

Rocky raised her head while she was counting. I know that! she spat out edgily. I just figured that I’d do the opposite when I remembered the technique for a baby. That was always the one I used to remember the easiest. But right now, I can’t think straight! She lowered her head once more and tried to breathe life into her son.

Her answer hadn’t satisfied the man, and he tried to pull her away again. This time, as Rocky raised her head, a bubbly sigh escaped from Rusty’s lungs. "Thank you, God, he is breathing! she exclaimed. I was so scared!"

The neighbor looked a little uncomfortable. Putting his hands on Rocky’s shoulders, he firmly raised her up and said, Let me spell you now.

Rocky didn’t want to budge from beside her unconscious son, but she reasoned that this man was trying to help Rusty. She watched as he put his fingers back on Rusty’s nose and resumed trying to force air into his non-baby lungs. Frantically feeling the need to do something, she rose up higher on her knees and looked out the windshield from between the bucket seats to see where they were. Shocked that they were only about a mile outside of town and knowing that they still had another seven miles to go before reaching Greenbrooke, the closest neighboring town with a hospital, she couldn’t help herself from exclaiming, What the hell? I thought we were probably almost there! What in the hell is taking you so long? This is not supposed to be a slow Sunday drive! Go, go, go! she literally screamed in frustration.

John had been so quiet while concentrating on his driving that Rocky hadn’t realized that it was taking all of his willpower to keep himself under control. But her explosion finally caused him to lose it. What the hell do you want me to do, Rock? Run over those people? he spit out through the clenched teeth of a man who was trying to drive his dying son to the hospital and had no control over any of the other drivers on the road.

For the first time, Rocky actually noticed the reason for the slowdown. A couple of long-haired hippie-looking guys were riding motorcycles in front of them and seemed to be just strolling down the two-lane blacktop road, enjoying the scenery. This proved to be more than her shattered nerves could stand, and before she herself realized what she was doing, Rocky slithered her body up into the passenger seat and stuck her head out through the open window. Then by grabbing the metal tubing of the side mirror with one hand and the tiny rim on the top of the door frame with her other, she hoisted herself out of the van until she was in a sitting position on the window frame. Bracing her feet against the inside of the van’s door and holding on to the side mirror, Rocky leaned as far out as her five-foot-two body would stretch and screamed at the top of her lungs to the two men in front of them. Get out of the way! My son is dying! Get out of the road! She wasn’t sure they could hear her, so she kept motioning them over to the side of the road with an exaggerated wave of her right arm.

It seemed like an eternity to Rocky, but in reality, it was just a few seconds later that the two motorcycle riders pulled over beside the road and let the van pass by with its precious cargo. Rocky didn’t even acknowledge the considerate gesture on the part of the bewildered-looking men. As she was trying to maneuver her body back inside the van, she only vaguely glanced at one of them, who looked like some kind of a mountain man from out of the past with his thick blondish-brown hair hanging onto his massive shoulder blades. The assessment didn’t register as important and was immediately ejected from her brain. John had already hit the gas and shot past them.

She slid back into the passenger seat, mentally thanking God that she had finally finished getting her body toned up since having Rusty. The baby weight had fallen off easily enough soon after his birth, but it had left her body flabby and softer than normal, so just this past year, she had been exercising and toning up. And so for the first time in seven years, she had finally regained the slender petite body she had had when she and John first married. Otherwise, she didn’t think she would have been able to slide in and out of that window so effortlessly.

Back inside the van, she darted a glance over to John’s clenched jawline just as she sprung past him into the back to check and see if their neighbor had made any progress with Rusty. No sooner had she knelt down beside her son than John shouted, Rocky! Here comes the ambulance they called! Oh dammit, he’s gonna pass us!

No, no, no! Not if I can help it! Rocky didn’t stop to think as she quickly slithered right back out the window just as she had before. The van was at the top of McIntosh Hill, whose very name was a misnomer. McIntosh Hill had actually come to encompass a valley—a straight stretch down one side of a mountain and up a straight stretch on another—and the ambulance was now screaming toward them about halfway down the far mountain. So again, Rocky waved her arms and screamed at the top of her lungs. Stop! Please stop! Stop! Stop! Every word was twice as shrill as the last.

The ambulance came shuddering to a stop just inches from their van, and the life and rescue squad jumped out to assist in whatever way they could. Rocky couldn’t remember opening the door or if she slid the rest of the way out through the window. Whichever—she was on the ground and running toward Rusty. The van’s sliding door had been opened, and one of the paramedics already had Rusty in his arms and was carrying him toward the ambulance. The sight triggered the thought in her mind again as she partially realized that the paramedic hadn’t stabilized Rusty’s neck before he picked him up. What if his neck was broken and this action caused him to be paralyzed?!

Rocky was almost hysterical by this time, and to her everybody else was acting just outright incompetent. Running up to the paramedic who was carrying Rusty, she grabbed his arm and unintentionally sunk her long nails into his forearm. You make my son breathe! she demanded harshly. Her hand was knocked away, but it wasn’t until much later that Rocky realized that it couldn’t have been an action of the paramedic himself since his arms were so obviously loaded.

Which one of you has been administering CPR? another of the paramedics quickly questioned. The new neighbor jumped forward with his hand raised before the question was completed. Come with us! he was ordered. Then turning to Rocky, the paramedic crisply informed her, You can follow us on to the hospital, but please don’t speed or get into the way. But his words fell on deaf ears since she had already scrambled partway into the back end of the ambulance with Rusty.

Please, she pleaded, looking from one of the paramedics to the other, let me go with him! I promise I won’t touch a thing! She held both of her hands palms up as if to seal her pledge.

The paramedics glanced at each other, but knowing that time was their enemy, one of them mutely gave in to her almost hysterical plea with a nod and lowered eyes.

John! Come on! Rocky turned and leaned out to grab her husband as the doors were slamming shut. She had just then noticed him out of the corner of her eye as he stood frozen on the side of the road near the back end of the ambulance watching his son.

I have to follow you with the van! he shouted as he was quickly galvanized back into action at the sound of the now screaming sirens. How else will we get home later? He quickly thumped his fist hard on the back of the ambulance just as the doors completely slammed shut and screamed hoarsely, Go!

Rocky was torn between the two men in her life, although there was no contest to her decision this time. She wanted to stay and ride with her husband, but she knew that John was a grown man and would stay right on the wheels of the ambulance. She hated to leave him alone, but her son needed her more right now, and his well-being came first. Jerking her head back around to check on Rusty’s progress, she was comforted to learn that the paramedics were doing the exact same procedure that she and the new neighbor had been using on him. Good! She was somewhat relieved that the time between the accident and now had not been completely wasted. At least they hadn’t been doing anything wrong. But listening to the paramedics speaking into the microphones on their helmets, Rocky was still not reassured that her son was out of danger. Glancing toward the front of the ambulance, she could see a small portion of the side of the driver’s head as he tried to drive and lean forward to manipulate a manual microphone on the dashboard at the same time.

Dear god, this has got to be the longest six- or seven-mile ride in history! Please let this ambulance sprout wings and fly! Please watch over my son! The silent pleas were still tumbling over each other and ricocheting through Rocky’s brain. Her heart felt like it was being crushed in a vise as she quickly jerked her glance back to Rusty as he lay there so still and lifeless. Rocky was absolutely terrified. She had never felt this helpless before. Her mind was racing but wasn’t going anywhere—it just flat out didn’t know which direction to go. She longed to pick Rusty up and hold him in her arms like she had when he was a tiny little boy. Was that yesterday? Or just this morning?

Her hand reached out, seemingly on its own volition, to touch him. Feeling his leg beneath her fingers, Rocky automatically started rubbing the skin around his knee when she noticed that the area just below it was bruised. At least it looked like a bruise. It was about four inches long and maybe an inch wide. She touched it lightly with her fingertips then noticed the paramedic looking at her with a strange expression on his face. Jolted into thinking that he might stop the ambulance where it was and order her out, Rocky jerked her hand back and again raised them both up so he could see that she was not interfering with his job. I’m sorry, she apologized, I won’t touch him again. The paramedic didn’t seem so worried about her touching Rusty now, but the strange look remained on his face as he continued to stare at her. Rocky thought she also saw him glance in the direction of the bruised area just below Rusty’s knee, but as quickly as it appeared, the thought flew right back out of her mind.

Taking a quick look out the back windows of the ambulance, Rocky could see that John was still right behind them. Now she strained her neck in the other direction to see past the driver out the front windshield and was relieved to see that they were finally turning left into the hospital’s parking lot. She could see a patrolman standing in the middle of the two-lane road blocking all oncoming traffic so that the ambulance could cross traffic without any interruption. In all the years she had lived around Greenbrooke, she hadn’t ever seen this, but then again, she had never been in the back end of an ambulance and hadn’t really paid that much attention. It sure seemed like a nice gesture now, and she was very thankful for it!

The ambulance nosed straight in to the doors of the emergency room, which also seemed a little bizarre to Rocky. She thought that all ambulances backed up to the hospital doors so that it would be easier to unload the patient, but of course, all she knew about it had been gained from watching television, and she could be wrong. That part didn’t really matter to her as long as they did their jobs! She didn’t notice the uncomfortable actions of the waiting emergency room crew as they strained to make do in a very awkward situation.

Rocky was still sending out her fervent silent prayers as Rusty was lifted out of the ambulance and rolled away from her on a gurney. Please, please, God, please take care of my baby! As Rocky exited the vehicle, she again felt as if she was enveloped in some kind of a crazy fog and struggled to break free from it. She looked around the small parking lot for John. Where was her rock? She needed to lean on him now as she had never needed him before. She quickly spotted him the next parking lane over as he was exiting the van. Hurry, John! We’ve got to hurry! she called out to him.

John slammed the door and broke into a trot. I’m coming! As he reached her side, he put an arm around her waist and halfway lifted her from her feet before he realized that she couldn’t run as fast in that position. Letting her slide back down onto the ground, he grabbed her hand instead and pulled her along, forcing her to run in order to keep up with his long-legged strides. That cop only held back traffic for the ambulance. I had to wait on all the oncoming traffic before I could get across the road, he explained as they threaded their way past a fire truck and ran through the double doors to the emergency room. Rocky, baby, you’ve got to keep a tight rein on yourself. I’m afraid it’s not good. John’s tone was again calm and at another time might have fulfilled the job he intended. But this time, his actions belied his words. He dropped her hand and once again put his arm around her waist, only this time he sunk his fingers into her flesh as if to meld them into place. Rocky didn’t notice the discomfort as she struggled to focus on the nurse who had just appeared before them.

Y’all can sit in these chairs right out here, she was saying as she effectively blocked their view past the swinging doors of the emergency room where a team of doctors and nurses were running in and out. We’ll let you know what’s going on as fast as we can.

Rocky and John sank onto the chairs and held tight on to each other. The cold air of the hospital’s air-conditioning felt like another world after the heat and humidity of the air outside. They were both shaking from fear as much as the cold. The minutes seem to drag on forever.

What is it, John? She tried her best to keep her voice from shaking. What do you think happened? Did he fall off of his bicycle? Has he just been knocked unconscious? He’s been out an awful long time now! The questions were tumbling out on top of each other now that the responsibility of Rusty’s care was with the doctors and the thoughts could actually be formulated and spoken.

I don’t know, baby. I’m afraid his neck is broken. He kissed her on top of her head before continuing to speak in his ragged voice. When I got to him, he was laying on top of some boards, and I had to move him in order to start trying to do that CPR stuff. I looked around, but I didn’t notice any blood at all. Carol got to him first and said she heard him moaning. Rachel had been with him and came running to get me. All she said was, ‘John, come quick! Rusty fell and hit his head!’ She ran back to show me where he was, and when I couldn’t find any blood or wounds, I sent her back to tell you to bring the van so we could get him to the hospital. Although his words were calm, he still had a grip around Rocky’s waist that would have put King Kong to shame.

But I thought you didn’t like this hospital! You always said it was just a first aid station. I figured you would try to make it on in to Richmond!

Baby, he would never have made it to Richmond! John tried to explain the logic of his actions. We live so far out. Look how long it took to meet the ambulance at McIntosh Hill.

It doesn’t matter to me as long as somebody helps him. Oh, God, please let him be okay! They’re taking forever in there! What’s going on? Come on - let’s move closer to the door. She jumped up and moved in that direction.

There aren’t any chairs over by the doors. They must not want you to sit that close, John replied after he had walked over and taken a quick cursory look around.

Then let’s move these. Nothing was going to stop Rocky from getting closer to her son. She grabbed for the arm of her chair and started to tug.

What the hell… they’re all hooked together! John thundered after trying to pick up the fiberglass chair he had been sitting on. Here, Rocky, don’t strain yourself. Lift on three. One, two, three! He and Rocky moved the whole bank of four waiting room chairs over to the wall opposite the emergency room doors so they would be able to see all of the comings and goings and then sat back down to wait.

John noticed Rocky was visibly shaking now. Are you cold? he asked brusquely as he put both arms around her to stop her shaking.

I’m freezing! Rocky looked at John, and it finally registered in her brain that all he had on was a pair of cut-off denim shorts with a greasy rag sticking out of the pocket and a pair of tennis shoes. My god, aren’t you cold? You don’t hardly have on any clothes at all. She laid her hand on his bare chest as if that would cover him and stop his trembling.

And you do? John countered. He reached up and took her freezing hand in his own, which somehow was still warm.

Oh my god, Rocky nervously laughed, I’m glad there aren’t any other people in here, suddenly self-conscious over her own cut-off denim shorts, tank top, and bare feet.

Hell, Rocky! Do you think most people dress up to come to the emergency room? John was now back to being her rock, trying to calm her down. It’s only been a few minutes. Surely they’ll tell us what’s going on here in a minute. But please, be prepared if it’s bad news. He’s been out for a long time.

As if on cue, a nurse came out of the swinging doors. She obviously wasn’t expecting the chairs to be directly across from the door, and in her haste, she almost ran into them. Mr. and Mrs. Hollon? She looked straight at them and without giving them time to answer, started a barrage of questions, looking at first one and then the other. Is your son allergic to any medications?

Rocky answered first, No, but he has severe reactions to bee stings!

Who is your family doctor?

Again, Rocky answered first, Dr. Burke, Eugene Burke in Richmond. Her head was swimming.

I thought his name was Butler, John looked questioningly at Rocky.

You’re right. Rocky shook her head as if to clear it. I’m sorry, she said to the nurse, "It’s Butler, Eugene Butler.

And with what hospital is he affiliated? the nurse asked as she was turning to go back through the doors.

The Medical Center. Rocky answered the last question as the nurse disappeared and then turned to John and hugged him with all of her might. He’s alive! He’s going to be okay! Oh god, John, I was so scared! He just laid there so limp and unresponsive, and I was so scared. But you know… he did breathe out that one time when I was doing the CPR. Maybe I just didn’t notice that he did it again in the ambulance. Rocky’s eyes started to burn with all the unshed tears she had been too busy to cry since Rachel had come flying into the kitchen.

Rock, baby, I want him to be okay as much as you do, but remember, he’s been out an awful long time. There may be brain damage, or if his neck is broken, he may have to stay in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Please prepare yourself for the worst. Please don’t get your hopes up, John pleaded with Rocky, but it was almost as if he was pleading with himself to stay in control.

Oh god, I never thought about that. Rusty will never be content to sit in a wheelchair and watch all the other kids playing football and stuff like that. Please, God, don’t do that to my little boy. Please don’t put him through that torture! She was whimpering, and it was a struggle to get the words out of her throat.

At that moment, another nurse emerged through the swinging doors. Mr. and Mrs. Hollon? Please follow me. She made a sweeping motion with her hand toward a perpendicular corridor, gave them a second to jump to their feet, and then led the way to the area she had just indicated. Her white-clad feet moved silently across the tiles of the antiseptic-smelling corridor, and Rocky and John followed the swishing sound of her starched white uniform scrubs as close as their bumbling movements would allow. Both of them were caught up in a sense of excitement, thinking that Rusty must be okay and they were finally being taken to see their son.

The nurse led them about twenty feet down the corridor before turning right into a smaller hallway. She stopped at the first door on the left then turned and gestured for them to precede her through the open doorway.

John went through first, but just as Rocky was abreast of the doorway, her arms involuntarily shot out to grab the door facing as something deep in her subconscious mind finally made a connection. No! I won’t go in there! she exclaimed to no one in particular. Fear had suddenly turned her feet to concrete, and she stood frozen to the spot. They only take you into these little rooms to tell you something bad. They took us into one like this to tell us when Granny died! She turned to the nurse with a look of defiance on her face. If you have something to say to me, you tell me right here!

Mrs. Hollon, please, the nurse pleaded as she took Rocky by the shoulders and tried to gently persuade her into the tiny room.

Rocky? John was definitely out of his league here, and he knew it. He was split right down the middle with fear for his son and worry about how his wife would take whatever news they were about to be handed. His instinct was to stand back and check out all the details before wading in to anything, but once he was confronted, he always met the obstacle head on. This time, however, he was rooted in indecision.

Rocky’s shoulders drooped in concession as she let herself be led into the room. As soon as she was seated in a chair, John came up to stand behind her, and reaching his hand out, he lay it heavily on her shoulder. Rocky reached up and gripped John’s hand with all the strength she could muster. She felt so weak—fear seemed to have turned her insides to mush.

The nurse had shut the door when she left the room so that they would have some privacy, and the sound of it opening now riveted their attention. Both of them stared in surprise as John’s parents, Carl and Arizona, came into the room. What are you all doing here? they both asked them at almost the same time.

Carl walked around Rocky to stand beside his son, and Arizona pulled a chair up to sit beside her. She now reached over and took both of Rocky’s hands in her own. The two women had never been very close but were now prepared to present a united front before whatever demon they were about to encounter regarding Rusty.

Your neighbor Carol called us to come and get Luke and told us what had happened. We came as soon as we could. Arizona’s hands were trembling. Have they told you anything?

John looked from his mother to his father and back to Rocky. We thought maybe you were the doctor coming in now.

Who’s watching Luke now? Why didn’t Carol go ahead and call Jocelyn? She had just run to the grocery for a minute. Rocky turned to encompass her father-in-law with her questions. A part of her would feel responsible for the little boy until she knew he was back safe with her sister-in-law. Knowing how much they each cared for their own boys, the two sisters-in-law had made a solemn pact to always keep a close eye out for their nephews whenever they had them. The tall gray-haired man never quite met her eyes and looked away uncomfortably. Rocky was now more worried than ever, but Arizona leapt to calm her worries.

It’s okay, Raquel. Jimmy and Karen are watching him. Jimmy was John’s younger brother, and Karen was Jimmy’s new wife. Rocky thought the world of them, although she wasn’t really close to any of John’s family. As an only child with only her mother and stepfather left in her own family, she was reluctant to be drawn any farther into John’s large family and was content to stand on the sidelines.

As if they were being called by the mention of their names, Jimmy and Karen picked that moment to walk into the room. They both looked relieved to discover they were in the right place, but Rocky damn near panicked at their appearance.

All right, who is watching Luke? You know Jocelyn will go ballistic when she gets back to the house and can’t find him. You know the first thing she’ll think! Rocky was very near the verge of hysteria. She despised the feeling she could now feel spreading over her. She knew Rusty was the most vulnerable of all right now and that she needed to focus her concentration on him—not this—so she took a steadying breath and tried again. Karen?

Karen came straight over to kneel at Rocky’s knees and put her hands on top of the cluster in Rocky’s lap. Don’t you worry. Luke’s down at Aunt Sylvia’s. She came to the house as soon as she heard and said she would watch him for as long as we needed, and you know that Jocelyn trusts Aunt Sylvia to watch him. She knew we would want to come here to be with you all. She smiled weakly as she tried to reassure Rocky, You ought to know that both me and Jimmy would want to come here and be with you all.

Karen tried to keep the hurt out of her voice and still manage to sound comforting. John and Jimmy’s older sister, Jocelyn, still frustrated Karen by keeping her at arm’s length even after she had been in the family for almost a year now, and she wanted so badly to be accepted by both her and Rocky. She didn’t really care much for Jimmy’s other sister, Jenny. She had thought that now that she was going to have a baby, well… they would have opened up to her a little bit more. Didn’t they like her at all? Now is not the time to be worrying about being accepted, a tiny thought in her mind reproached her. Try not to worry, she repeated softly as she looked up at Rocky.

I know. Thanks. I’m just so scared. Rocky felt as if she was somehow dropping her guard by even saying the words out loud to anyone other than John. Right now, Rocky desperately needed the solace Karen offered so that she could regain what little composure she had left so she drank it in with a deep breath. She had missed the flicker of hurt that had crossed Karen’s face just a second earlier but made a slight amend for the unintentional lashing out with a small smile.

Arizona tried to reinforce Karen’s words by lightly shaking their hands. It’s okay, Raquel, we understand. You have every right to be scared. We’re all scared too. How long has it been since anybody came in to tell you anything? Carl, you stopped at the nurses’ station as soon as we got here. Did they say anything to you at all?

Carl Hollon reached over and reassuringly clapped his son on the shoulder. Now, you know how we doctors have to make sure we have all of our facts together before we can walk in and tell a family anything. Some times just seem to take longer than others, but they did assure me they would be in as soon as possible and update us as to Rusty’s condition.

John stared deep into his father’s eyes until he thought he could see into his very soul. He then dropped his eyes down to stare at the toes of his grass stained tennis shoes and let his hand drop back down onto Rocky’s shoulder. Words seemed so inadequate now. Please, God, don’t let them say what I’m afraid they’re going to.

Jimmy slid behind the chairs to stand beside John in the tiny room. Man, I knew something was wrong when I saw you go barreling past Mom and Dad’s house. Karen and I had just pulled in. Then just as we walked in the door, your neighbor called Mom and asked her to come and get Luke. She said she had to come here to the hospital to pick up one of your other neighbors? His last remark came out as more of a question.

Christ, I forgot all about that man! John jerked his hand off Rocky’s shoulder and moved toward the door and then stopped. Oh, hell, I guess if Carol is coming to pick him up and take him back home, it’s all right. He turned back to his dad and brother and explained to them, "Our new next-door neighbor, I think his name is Dan something or other, he was outside mowing his lawn, and he came running as soon as he heard Carol yelling.

He saw me running down the street with Rachel hot on my heels and took off running after us. When we got to the construction site and found Rusty, I sent Rachel back to the house to get Rocky. Poor kid… I bet I scared her into running all the way back the second time. But I guess she made it okay because Rocky showed up pronto! Anyway, this guy said he knew some CPR, and he immediately got started on Rusty’s breathing. But he didn’t seem to be having much luck, and when Rocky got there, I knew we couldn’t wait for the ambulance—it would take too long—so I sent her back to the house to get the van. He must be a decent guy. He stuck with us even after we switched Rusty over to the ambulance.

Where did you do that? And how? Just as soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jimmy wished he hadn’t spoken as he suddenly realized that more than speaking to any one person in the tiny little room, John was sorting through the chaotic events by enumerating them out loud.

But instead of letting them intrude on his thoughts, John included the answers to Jimmy’s questions into his reverie and continued, We switched to the ambulance right in the middle of McIntosh Hill. Rocky went out the window and flagged ’em down. At this, he looked up with a grin at the back of his wife’s head.

Rocky never moved while listening to John talk, but as if connected to him with an invisible string, she grinned at the same time. She shut her eyes and took in a deep breath. God, please let this nightmare end soon. Her silent plea ended involuntarily with a small moan, and Arizona pulled one hand from the still tightly knotted cluster of hands in Rocky’s lap and used it to pat the tops of all of them. At the same time, John moved forward to put his hand back on Rocky’s shoulder, and the door opened.

A tall, lanky young doctor and a middle-aged nurse with gray streaks in her dark brown hair came into the room, both of them looking grim. The doctor looked around for an empty chair and quickly finding one pulled it up directly in front of Rocky. No need to ask which one was the mother. As he sat down, he reached out his long hands to cover Rocky’s just as Arizona and Karen simultaneously pulled their hands away. Karen rose swiftly to her feet, walked over to her husband, slid her arm around his waist, and lay her head on his chest as if to shield him from the words she was also afraid were coming.

Mr. and Mrs. Hollon, I’m Dr. Eric Stivers. I’m the resident doctor on call here today. He looked straight into Rocky’s eyes and then tilted his head up to look past her at John. There is no easy way to tell you this. He hesitated only a second as if he was afraid to stop. I’m sorry to have to tell you, but your son is dead.

Rocky could hear John’s family all around her. She could hear Karen crying softly and Jimmy consoling her with a soft, Ssssh. She could hear her mother-in-law, Arizona, sitting beside her crying with what sounded to her like hiccups. She could hear her father-in-law, Carl, who was still standing behind her to one side let out his breath in one big whoosh as if he had been hit in the stomach. But from her husband, John, still standing directly behind her, she didn’t hear the slightest sound.

With a superhuman effort that she felt was draining her very being, she stared straight ahead into the doctor’s greenish brown eyes, causing her own blue eyes to snap crisply. You lying son of a bitch! How dare you come in here and lie to us about our son! The words were spoken so calmly that they even sounded to her as though they must have been spoken by someone else. "You don’t fall off of your bike when you’re seven years old and die." Rocky would have stood up at that point and ran out, but deep down, she knew her trembling legs wouldn’t hold her up. She tried in vain to make sense out of what this man sitting in front of her was saying. No, it wasn’t possible. He had to be lying. That made more sense to her than his previous words had. Wait…his lips were moving again.

Mrs. Hollon, I am sorry. I’ve never had to tell anyone this before, and I’ll admit we’re somewhat bumfuzzled as to the reason why, but your son is dead. I’m sorry. With that, he jumped up and almost ran over the matronly nurse standing in front of the door in his haste to get out of the tiny room that was suddenly suffocating.

Arizona turned to her daughter-in-law who was sitting as still as a statue. Arizona had never really warmed up to this strange young woman that her oldest son had married over ten years ago, but as a mother, she grieved for her. As Rusty’s grandmother, she felt like her own insides were being ripped out and stomped to shreds. She couldn’t even begin to imagine Raquel’s grief.

The nurse extended her hand toward Rocky to get her attention. Mrs. Hollon. She looked up and included John in her glance, Mr. Hollon. There is someone here who would like to speak with you. She walked back to the door and escorted in a very heavy-set gentleman. He was having trouble with his breathing in this humid weather in spite of the hospital’s air-conditioning, and he lowered his bulky frame onto the chair just vacated by Dr. Stivers.

Mr. and Mrs. Hollon, my name is Earl Ferguson Finley and I’m the chaplain here at Greenbrooke Memorial. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to take a moment to say a prayer for your son. Without waiting for a response, he dropped his head and intoned, God, you have just requested that one of our youngsters return to your kingdom today, and it has caught his parents off guard. We ask that you watch over this young couple and please, help them in their hour of grief. In his name, we pray, Amen. Raising his head and his considerable girth with an effort, he stood and stretched his arm past Rocky. He extended his hand to John, who had still not uttered a sound. Mr. Hollon, I’m sorry for your loss. If I can be of any assistance, please don’t hesitate to call on me. Still John did not move. Shrugging, Reverend Finley turned to leave, patting Arizona on the shoulder in the process as he ambled from the room.

Carl took his cue from Reverend Finley. Jimmy, you and Karen may as well go on home. There’s nothing left for you to do here. As they quietly patted John and Rocky on their way out the door, he turned to his wife, Zony, come on. Why don’t you ride back with Jimmy? I’ll stay here with John until he gets all the arrangements made.

Arizona bristled at her abrupt dismissal. No. I’ll stay with Raquel and Johnny. I think they need me now. Her daughter-in-law was still rigid in her chair, but looking past her, Arizona felt her heart break as she watched her son still standing behind his wife. Johnny? she softly questioned.

John jerked his head toward his mother as if seeing her for the first time. He drew in his breath as he tried to gather his scattered wits about him. What do we do now? he asked softly to no one in particular.

Please don’t let them close his eyes. Everybody turned as one toward Rocky. She continued in a hushed whisper, Please, tell them I don’t want his eyes to stop seeing.

Only John seemed to understand what she was trying to say, and the feeling of being needed so badly finally thrust him into action. Come on, baby, we have to go home now, he cajoled his young wife as he bent down to help her to her feet.

Rocky felt like she was walking on soggy noodles as she tried to make it to the door. I have to find a restroom. I think I’m going to be sick, she said suddenly. John put his arms around her waist, and once again, his fingers bit into her flesh as he unknowingly squeezed her tighter than necessary. They were slowly making their way through the hallway when another nurse came toward them. This one was very young.

Mr. and Mrs. Hollon, she said to them softly as she stopped in front of them, you can come this way if you’d like to see your son now.

Misinterpreting the nurse’s intention, Rocky whipped her head up. I thought y’all said my son was dead? she accused.

The young girl was taken aback. He is, but I thought you still might like to see him, she said apologetically.

All of a sudden, Rocky was petrified. I can’t, she breathed softly. I think I’m going to be sick!

The young nurse looked relieved to be able to help with something else—anything else. This way. She turned and quickly led the way down the hall, while Arizona took over John’s position beside Rocky and followed at a somewhat slower pace. Let me know if I can help you, the young nurse spoke softly as Arizona eased Rocky through the door to the restroom.

Could you get her a cold cloth, please? Zony was now a master sergeant. The mother of four grown children and four young grandchildren and another on the way, she was never more in her element than when she was needed.

Yes, ma’am, the young nurse turned on her heel and was back in less than a minute with the cold, wet cloth.

It took Rocky several minutes before she could stand without being dizzy, and as soon as she could, she demanded to be reunited with John. She and Arizona walked slowly back down the long hospital corridor.

John was standing beside the nurse’s station, talking with Dr. Stivers who looked noticeably upset. As they approached, the young doctor dipped his head in respect and walked away while John turned to face them. His pale, grief-ridden face stood out in stark contrast to the tan on his muscular upper body, There you are. Are you okay? he questioned softly to both of them, but his arms automatically reached for his wife.

Rocky slid her arms around his waist as if she had regained her lifeline and then turned to the older nurse with the gray steaks in her hair, who was now standing at the desk in front of them. Not at all sure she could make her tongue work properly, Rocky struggled to speak clearly, but her voice still came out in a strangled whisper. Please see that my son’s eyes are taken. His eyes are so beautiful. They’re icy blue, and we want them to see, don’t we, John? After she had tried to make her request known as plainly as she could, she turned back to her husband and stared deeply into his eyes. Eyes of blue ice. Almost the same eyes as Rusty’s, except these eyes were very much alive and deeply filled with pain.

Yes, we do. John glanced at the nurse and then looked up toward the ceiling as if to request some divine intervention to help him through these next awful hours, days. He drew a deep, ragged breath. Let’s go. We have to decide what to do.

The younger nurse came from the room across the hall and approached Rocky from behind, Mrs. Hollon?

When Rocky turned, she didn’t see the syringe at first. It wasn’t until the young girl was almost touching her that she finally noticed it, causing her to automatically step aside and caution, Be careful. As the young nurse’s steps followed her own, Rocky’s pulse beat a little faster. She still had no idea for the purpose of the syringe or who it was for, and she again stepped aside as she repeated, Be careful. This time, when the nurse’s steps mimicked hers again, Rocky panicked. Don’t touch me with that needle, she warned. The words had scarcely left her mouth when she drew back her right arm, made a fist, and followed through in less time than the young nurse could anticipate Rocky’s reaction. The fist made connection with a resounding thud, and the nurse staggered into a tray, knocking stainless steel instruments onto the tile floor, where they bounced and clattered with a metallic sound that shattered the false stillness of the moment. I told you not to touch me with that damn needle! Rocky shrilly admonished the young girl.

She then turned to the older matronly nurse behind the desk and calmly requested, "Please call Roy Lindsay over in Wyndham and ask him to please come and