No Choice: Autobiography of an Arabian-American Lady

By Fadwa Kassis Naser

No woman (or man) has a choice about when and where to be born. In early childhood, however, most American girls make many choices that help to shape their lives. American women (and men), therefore, may read with compassionate wonder about Fadwa Kassis Naser, who had

1) No choice concerning childhood responsibilities for a younger sister due to

her mothers fragile health.

2) No choice regarding when (age 15) or whom (a man more than twice her

age) she would marry.

3) No choice as to when to bear children.

4) No choice about living quarters for a growing family.

5) No choice regarding others with whom those quarters must be shared.

6) No choice in such mundane activities as shopping or such rarer events as

vacations.

7) No choice regarding which church to attend.

8) No choice of obtaining parenting advice from her mother, whose illness

required long separations and ended in a premature death.

9) No choice concerning entertaining guests nor packing for moves to new

locations.

10) No choice over her sons rejection for an educational opportunity to which

he was entitled.

11) No choice when dismissed from a job that she was handling well.

12) No choice to return from Kuwait to her Palestinian homeland due to political

conflict.

Intermingled with these situations, she had sole responsibility for choices about

1) Believing in the Lord Jesus Christ as her Savior at age 10.

2) Relying upon her heavenly Father for strength and wisdom in almost every

circumstance of life.

3) Guiding her childrens education, including getting them to and from school

and financially covering their tuition costs in private schools.

4) Expanding her own formal schooling and practical nursing skills, surmount-

ing financial and transportation difficulties.

Although you may ache for Fadwa as you read this account of her life, you will

also rejoice at examples of Gods showing Himself strong on the behalf of one whose heart is devoted to Him. She recognized His provision of empty boxes for a grape harvest when she was age 14, and His supplying funds for a sons education through the selfless sharing of a daughter, and His enabling Fadwa to visit relatives in Germany in spite of her having no visa, and . . ..

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 8, 1999
• ISBN: 9781477172612

Fadwa Kassis Naser

Fadwa Kassis Naser, an American citizen residing in California, was born in Palestine during a lull between wars. Thrust upon God while still young, she has seen Him show Himself strong on her behalf when human resources were not forthcoming.

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Copyright © 1999 by Fadwa Kassis Naser.

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Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

EDITOR’S NOTE

INTRODUCTION

TO FADWAMEMORIES OF A FRIENDSHIP

PREFACE

PART ONE

FATHER’S ROOTS

MEANS FOR TRAVEL

THE DIFFICULT TRIP

MOTHER’S ROOTS

MOTHER & FATHER

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

AT SUMMER TIME OLIVE HARVEST

EASTER

CHRISTMASTIME

GRAIN HARVEST

THE BUS STOP

BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN

GRAPE HARVEST

PART TWO

HENNA’S NIGHT

FADWA & ZAKI

AMMAN, 1959

KUWAIT

TRIP TO TEHRAN (IRAN) IN 1962

TEHRAN

RETURN TO KUWAIT

ATTEMPTS TO PROVIDE

PART THREE

TRAVELS

BACK IN KUWAIT

EMIGRATING TO THE UNITED STATES

TESTIMONY

THE TRIP TO EUROPE WITH THE CHOIR

SURPRISE

I would like to dedicate my life storybook to my

beloved children, and my precious grandchildren,

whom I love very dearly. God bless you all.

~Tata (Grandma) Fadwa

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank Mr. Chuck Cox for dedicating his time voluntarily for the Lord’s sake to help with improving the English reading, and also many thanks to Mrs. Gladys Cox for her encouragement and sharing her thoughts about my book with me.

My appreciation and respect to Mr. Tim Ball, for introducing me to Mr. and Mrs. Cox through my work for Redwood Christian Elementary School. Thank you for sharing and praying with me.

One day I had a visit with Heather Victor, a friend I knew in the church choir, and through our chitchat she found that I had a very interesting life. She said, Fadwa, why don’t you write your life story? So we spent quite a few hours together talking and writing, but it did not work out. After two years I took full responsibility to write it on my own. Thank you, Heather, for sharing the concept with me.

EDITOR’S NOTE

This is a short autobiographical account of a woman from Palestine, Fadwa Kassis Naser. Although her intent in writing it was to leave a testimony for her own grandchildren, I believe that it warrants a much wider readership.

For perhaps two years, intermittently, I worked at improving her efforts, which she has aptly titled No Choice. Although I assisted in making her work presentable and intelligible, I tried to retain much of her natural (we native Americans would say, foreign-sounding) expression. As I have read it several times myself, and have read it to my wife, we have rejoiced and ached with Fadwa.

She is unquestionably a woman whose family is the heart of her life. This was the case when she was a girl in her parents’ family, and it became all the more so when she produced a family of her own. It remains so today, when her children and their families live, as she also does, on the West Coast of the United States. At the same time, her trust in the Lord has been her mainstay, and this comes across very strongly.

INTRODUCTION

…but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

The role of women in the home, in society, and in the church has indeed been in a state of continuous scrutiny and fluctuation for years. Especially in the United States. So what happens to a woman, born and raised in the Middle East, under a completely different set of values and traditions than those of American women, who then moves to the U.S. and is faced with situations and standards that would exhaust the strongest of characters? Fadwa Naser has lived this complex, topsy-turvy existence with her husband, children, and grandchildren.

As you read of her journey, you will become aware of Fadwa’s determination, and her dependence on God to fulfill the high expectations, not only that He places on our lives, but also that her family and culture have predestined. She is a fine example, not only of trust and obedience to God, but of His unfailing faithfulness to His children. Having had the pleasure and good fortune of working and ministering together in the music ministry for several years, I have had the opportunity to pray and rejoice with Fadwa. Her charm is not the least bit deceptive, and her beauty comes from her constant walk with the Lord. She is certainly deserving of the reward she has earned, … let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Les Neal

Minister of Music

Neighborhood Church

Castro Valley, CA

TO FADWA

"MEMORIES OF A

FRIENDSHIP"

As a new member of our church in 1986, I felt impelled to be a part of the Easter presentation. Being one who would not consider an area of drama, I was really stepping out in faith. I was very nervous, unsure of myself, and to this day I believe it was the Lord who brought an encourager alongside: my now dear friend Fadwa, whom I have grown to love and respect. We are in some ways opposite, but in most ways share the same goals, pastimes, and deep commitment to the Lord and our families. A sister relationship gives each of us one with whom we can bare our souls and still have dignity and a bond of respect for each other; one might say kindred spirits.

I recognize that Fadwa’s faith is strength in a growing walk with the Lord. Some of the most meaningful times, through the years, have been spent sharing God’s Word and how He has worked in her life. Her commitments are in a Godly order as she serves the Lord in her love of singing in the church choir, dedication in caring for her family, giving her best to the interests of others in any work she performs in and outside of her home, and entertaining family, friends, and guests in a warm, hospitable fashion. Fadwa has a deeply caring and sensitive personality toward other people, and because of her outgoing and friendly nature, people enjoy being with her as she so often shares wonderful food from her culture, delightful stories of her past, and the family picture album of the good old days in her homeland with friends and family. I consider myself blessed with Fadwa’s trustworthy friendship. She has been a beautiful example, that in Christ, there are no culture or language barriers. We are one.

The poem, The Golden Chain, by Helen Steiner Rice sums up my meaning.

Friendship is a golden chain,

The links are friends so dear,

And like a rare and precious jewel

It’s treasured more each year …

It’s clasped together firmly

With a love that’s deep and true,

And it’s rich with happy memories

And fond recollections, too …

Time can’t destroy its beauty

For, as long as memory lives,

Years can’t erase the pleasure

That the joy of friendship gives …

For friendship is a priceless gift

That can’t be bought or sold,

But to have an understanding friend

Is worth far more than gold …

And the golden chain of friendship

Is a strong and blessed tie,

Binding kindred hearts together

As the years go passing by.

God’s blessing always,

Lovingly,

Jill Kautz

PREFACE

My life was a big race. When I got closer to the finish line, I found no mother’s arms to comfort or encourage me. My only source of inspiration was to lift up my eyes and ask the Lord for help. Ask for courage and wisdom to deal with each situation. He was always there for me and had never left me or forsaken me.

I never had enough of using the word mother—the most beautiful, magical word in the whole world. And now, March 1, 1960, I am waving my hand to the casket carrying her dead body.

At that time women were not allowed to go to the cemetery, which was just for men. I stood with the rest of the family and the mourners in the front yard of the Orthodox Church, where she wanted to be buried at the cell of her father in Madaba, the city where she was born. I felt that the whole world had collapsed because I had thought that she would be the anchor that I could find no more. I was hoping to have a private time alone with her one day to express my feeling, to turn to someone I trusted, to say what was in my heart and mind from questions kept with no answer. Instead I would never see her or talk to her anymore. I really felt I was cut off from her umbilical cord just that moment. I could feel my eyes prickle and become puffy as I looked around me. All that I saw was women wearing black, black. I did not like it, my memories of my mother wearing black color almost all her life. My mind went back, reviewing my childhood memories of the short years she raised me and how she allowed me to be married by age of 15. And how God had worked in her life and brought her from the East Bank of Jordan to the West Bank, to Palestine to get to marry my father. My mother used to say, The East and the West, they will never be joined. But God joined my parents together.

PART ONE

FATHER’S ROOTS

At the beginning of the 18th century Hamulla—which means a large family—were Christians who came from Kerak Town in Jordan. They were related to the ancestor called Nimer. Nimer, along with many others, came to Palestine from an Arabian Island that had been badly flooded when the dam at Marib broke. Many people seeking a better life traveled west to Palestine, were scattered, and were assimilated into the other Arabian tribes already living there. Nimer came to Birzeit (means oil well), where his family multiplied, and my father was one of his descendants.

My father, Isaac, was born in Birzeit in the 19th century. Birzeit is an old city; Jesus passed Birzeit on His way from Galilee to Egypt. It was very famous with the olive trees. The Crusade built up a fortress, but the Pharisees destroyed everything. If we go back to Birzeit history, it has been since the Ottoman century.

It was considered the example of different groups of religion, living together with love and peace. But during the First World War the Birzeit residents had been scattered all over the Arabic states.

Isaac’s mother’s name was Sarah. He was raised in a good Christian family. He was the only son among seven sisters. At age 16 his parents wanted him to be married so he could get children as soon as possible, believing that children could be of help to them. Beginning two years after his first marriage God blessed him with five sons and two daughters. Isaac was a faithful man, hunter, a good father, and a successful farmer.

Causes of Emigration, as depicted by Musa Alloush in his book about emigrants:

The development that took place in the Ottoman Empire after 1908, the deposition of Sultan Al Hameed, and the strict Turkish political parties who received the power led to more