Bloody Hell, There’S an American Woman in the Realm: There’S an American Woman in the Realm

By Betty Stelter-Roberts

BLOODY HELL, THERES AN AMERICAN WOMAN IN THE
REALM is a series of vignettes that entertain us with the authors
experiences getting to and then living in the United Kingdom with
her British husband.
Theres a big romance, a little history, some travel information and a
few life lessons.
This book is a great read to take to the beach or on the plane
heading to the upcoming 2012 London Olympics or for the
Queens jubilee.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 8, 2012
• ISBN: 9781469174990

Betty Stelter-Roberts

Betty Stelter-Roberts is an energetic and adventurous traveler, a treasure hunter who believes that there are a lot of “treasures” in the world that need to be seen---one experience at a time. Just mention the word “road trip” and she starts packing her suitcase. She currently resides with her husband Alan in Bournemouth, United Kingdom and Orlando, Florida.

Book preview

Bloody Hell

There’s an

American woman

in the Realm

Betty Stelter-Roberts

Copyright © 2012 by Betty Stelter-Roberts.

Cover design by Addie Hassel

Library of Congress Control Number:       2012903668

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4691-7498-3

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4691-7497-6

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4691-7499-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

For those who are history and directional purists, please don’t be critical of this humorous rendering of the facts.

This is my story as I see it and how I experienced it, so for me it’s the truth.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

111248

The Vignettes

THE BLIND DATE

COCKLES, MUSSELS AND CASTLES

BANGERS AND MASH

PORK PIES

I GOT A THING ABOUT POTATOES, SHE SAID

LIAISON IN LONDON

WINDSOR CASTLE

SO, WHAT ABOUT THE ROMANCE?

WAS THERE EVER A HONEYMOON?

GOING FOR THE GOLD AN ADVENTURE IN LIVING BRITISH

BOURNEMOUTH

FINDING A FLAT

EXPLORING THE BOURNEMOUTH AREA

CHRISTCHURCH

POOLE

BROWNSEA ISLAND

A WEDDING

A FUNERAL

CAR BOOT SALES

CHARITY SHOPS

BEACH HUTS

STAG AND HEN PARTIES

ANOTHER WEDDING AND RECEPTION

RIDING THE RAILS

CRUISING ON STEAM

SHOPPING CARTS AND TROLLEYS

WIMBORNE MINSTER

PONIES, WOODS AND HEATH

CORNWALL OR MAYBE ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S "THE BIRDS"

WILL YOU BE THE MUM?

SALISBURY

STONEHENGE

HOMESICK

CHRISTMAS IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY

BATH

MURKY MARCH MALADY

OUI, OUI (WEE-WEE) SPRINGTIME IN PARIS

LONDON, AGAIN

WORD GAMES

PHOTOGRAPHS

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to every woman who has the guts to follow her

dreams, take chances and risks while never knowing what might

be at the end of the road,

and, if that decision doesn’t work—well then,

have a martini with your best girlfriend or sister,

call your family and cry,

do extreme self-care,

do all the things that make you happy and be a sexy and sassy woman.

Thanks to my wonderful sisters and friends who have always supported

me no matter how crazy the plan sounded.

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BLOODY HELL can be defined as:

-   a British term used to express anger, shock or surprise.

-   an interjection of either amazed awe or sudden anger/despondency, originated in Great Britain.

-   can be used to emphasize almost anything…

Could be bloody marvelous . . . like this book.

The Blind Date

My dad’s arriving from London on Thursday. Would you mind taking him out for dinner? You know… an adult night. The kids are going to make him crazy.

We were standing outside the Old Navy store at the Yuma Palms Mall and it was just a week before Mandy and Brian were getting married… . funny about running into her that morning… . and certainly unexpected as we both had pretty busy lives and rarely ran in to one another.

She had been very good to me during my orientation as an Emergency Room nurse and mentored me for a grueling eight weeks. The least I could do was to take her dad out for a dinner.

No big deal, right?

Sure I said, making a quick decision, how about if I take him out on Friday night to the River City Grille and pick him up at around seven-ish.

Great, thanks. I appreciate it. I’ll check with him and call you to confirm, okay? He’s staying at one of the doctor’s houses and I’ll give you the directions when I call you. By the way, when you pick him up, put the top down on your car, okay?

Sure. It was April and the weather was glorious in Arizona, with blue skies and a light breeze so it was perfect for an evening drive, but still, it was a very curious request. I shrugged.

The car she was referring to was my BMW Z-3 Roadster in Atlantic blue with a khaki top. That car had gotten me through some pretty rough times over the past few years and it was a pure joy to drive. The thing was, everyone in town knew where I was because it was the only one around in that color with a blond behind the wheel.

Good, see you next week at the wedding. Mandy smiled and sailed off into the Old Navy store.

Wait, I yelled after her, and she turned to look at me, What’s his name?

Alan.

*     *     *

So, do you wonder how the date went?

Well, it went beautifully by first and blind date standards.

He was silver haired, aristocratic looking, dressed in beige dress slacks with a white polo shirt over them and a cream colored sweater tied carelessly around his shoulders.

He opened the car door for me and said, Nice motor. He even pulled the seat belt out and handed it to me to latch. That was a new one for me. Are all the British so well mannered?

There was the dinner at River City Grille, a lot of easy flowing conversation about our travels and life experiences, my martini and his wine and… . something else.

Over the next 3 days, we attended Brian and Mandy’s wedding, (by the way, he looked really good in a tuxedo), drove to San Diego and had lunch on the terrace at George’s At the Cove in La Jolla.

Lunch was mahi-mahi on a bed of salad greens with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.

We enjoyed the sun, the ocean breeze and the magnificent view of La Jolla Cove far below the restaurant.

Alan was leaving the next morning to return to the UK.

Before we parted that evening, Alan said, Do you feel like there’s something between us?

I nodded.

Why don’t you come visit me in Wales? he asked.

I was surprised. Is that a real invitation? I asked.

He looked puzzled. What do you mean?

Well, you know, Americans will often say to people, hey, come visit me the next time you’re in town, and you know that’s never going to happen. We’re just being friendly… so is this… . you know… . a real invitation?

It’s real.

Cockles, Mussels and Castles

Bethlehem, Wales

The bombings had just happened in London the week before I landed at Heathrow airport on my visit to see Alan.

London was bypassed as a visit on this trip and I was whisked out of the area by Alan and the taxi, heading west on the M-4. I could see Windsor Castle through the lush green trees. It seemed so foreign after just having left the scorching Yuma, Arizona desert and the 117 degree temperature.

We were headed to Bethlehem, Wales, about 3 hours west of London.

The cottage Alan was living in was called Pantyffynon and it was over 300 years old, with a stream that meandered across the property, loads of trees and flowers in what they called the garden, (to our yard).

It was on a single lane enclosed by hedges on both sides. The farmer next door often moved his sheep from field to field blocking the lane to any motor traffic.

The United Kingdom or UK or Britain consists of four countries, England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales. It is surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean, the North Sea, the English Channel and the Irish Sea.

Wales is less than 200 miles going north to south, and has 3 main regions, south, mid and north. My visit was to the southwest, which is the most varied, with rugged coastlines, grassy mountains and lush green valleys.

Wales has a population of about 2.9 million and is home to 5.5 million sheep. The hillsides are dotted with the white and black wooly sheep and a delight to the eye.

If you are an adventurous and delighted traveler, everything will be exciting to you, from the landscapes, to the language, the food, the friendliness of the people, the architecture and the history.

The region of Carmarthenshire, with towns named Llandeilo (the Ll has the sound of the cl like in close, or often hl) Llandovery and Carmarthen (the oldest town in Wales) boast quaint pubs, cobblestone streets and shops that are an architectural delight.

If you like castles and history, like I do, Carreg Cennen Castle near Llandeilo, built about 1300, and partially demolished in 1462, is perched dramatically on an island cliff on the western side of the Brecon Beacons National Park. The views of the Preseli Hills to the west and the Black Mountains to the south are breathtaking. The castle has a vaulted underground passageway which leads to a natural cave, a cavern deep beneath the fortification. It has been described as the most romantic castle in Wales.

This is the land of King Arthur and Camelot history.

Brecon Beacons National Park is 520 sq. miles of red sandstone crags, waterfalls and lush green hillsides that simply call to be hiked and explored.

My favorite hike (done twice and almost making it to the top) was to Llyn Y Fan Fach (known as The Lady of the Lake).

This is a magical spot. There are lush green velvet mountains with thousands of grazing sheep and a lake that is so still that it makes you wish Merlin would suddenly appear and grant you a single wish.

Venturing further afield is the town of Pembroke where we visited Pembroke Castle (birthplace of the Tudor dynasty). Pembroke Castle looms over the main street of the town and is one of the largest castles in Wales, perched on the tip of a rocky limestone headland and down over a narrow peninsula.

The castle seems to almost grow from the cliff and is pierced by a deep cavern named The Wogan.

You might also enjoy a visit to the nearby Hay-on-Wye which has 1300 inhabitants and 40 bookshops, and is known as the largest secondhand book selling center in the world. It is located between England and Wales, on the Welsh side in the county of Powys. You could wander amongst the bookshops for many days. Alan bought me a book by Dylan Thomas who is Wales’ most renowned bard.

Driving across the southern part of Wales heading across England, we took the car ferry from Lymington to the Isle of Wight (Hampshire region). The Isle of Wight is known as the Garden Isle and is a diamond-shaped island separated from the mainland by the Solent Channel.

We visited Osborne House on the Isle of Wight which was the favorite country retreat and family home of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. She purchased the home in 1845. It is a glimpse of how royalty lived, even when they were in retreat and away from the affairs of state. One of my favorite places in Osborne House is the Durbar Room. Durbar is an Indian word that means both a state reception area and a hall. It is Indian style in architecture. The rich embellishments, the decorations with Indian symbols (like Ganesha—the elephant god of good fortune) and the white walls are very striking. The peacock over the chimney piece took over 500 hours to produce, so it