A Walk in Time

By James A Best

This story is about Ben Crowley a young teenager who grows up in the ghettos of large cities. From the time he was young he was out on the streets. Going from one situation to another. Learning life the hard way as he spent his days and nights trying to build a name for himself. Going from one young lady to another getting and gaining the attention of the opposite sex.

Ben learns to fight for what he wants and believes in on the mean streets in the inner cities. Always looking for a place to call home. A place without bars and locked doors. Ben is always walking his mind back and forth in time.

In the end he realizes what life had meant for him to have and enjoy. Ben would find out the hard way as he always had.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 3, 2010
• ISBN: 9781465327888

James A Best

I am a father of three daughters who are grown up now. I came from a large family and grew up in western canada. I have a college education and strongly believe that life is a game of life long learning. I have travelled around my own country. I think that canada is a beautiful country and is full of great people. I have met lots of people moving around and was always treated with respect. Well, for the most part people are awesome. And I have grown to accept that a person can do anything with a positive attitude. I am simple person who enjoys reading, listening to music. I love watching sports especially NHL Hockey, Canadian Football League, Boxing and various other sports.

Book preview

Chapter One

Ben felt alone and empty inside. His life wasn’t always like this. When, he was on the streets his life seemed to be more like a circus. Ben always had people stopping by for a visit. Or he was out chasing down the latest chemical mind blowing food. Those were crazy and dark times before Ben ended up as a crack addict. Which was a waste of his life as he took a look back. But, even as Ben was using all types of mind altering chemicals he never wanted it to stop. The highs rolled into one big lifetime of clouds and dreams. Using street drugs felt natural. He was slowly drawn into that life on the street. Ben’s life took its toll on everyone he was around. Or vice versa. He seemed to crave the streets as much as the streets craved his body and soul. These same streets still exist for those who want to walk where Ben had walked before. The spoils and the excitement were there every day for Ben. Yet, there are those who continue to defy the odds on the mean streets of everywhere. Ben is scarred inside from the worst of being there out in the dark of night. The darkness of the night allowed the night people to do whatever.

Ben was not scared of drugs of any kind. Cranking poor man’s heroin was only an introduction to the pleasures of hard core street drugs yet to come. Talwin and Ritalin were what made up poor man’s heroin. Yes, these pills when crushed, then cooked and a partial cigarette filter was used to strain the mix as it filled the syringe. The rush and then the best orange taste imaginable conquered your taste buds. Sometimes a person would puke which as normal. Nodding out from this cocktail became the only option. Looking back on all those wasted times Ben felt and knew it was an experience not to be forgotten. Some memories were good but mostly not. He should’ve known better however he didn’t.

Drinking and getting high were essential’s back then. Living in the hood in different cities always seemed like the right way of living. Ben never felt out of place, in fact he felt at home. There was always an air of excitement and anticipation. Every day they would aim for the stars and the stars would always be there. Getting high and chasing money to pay for the fix blended one night into the next. And one year blended into another. Living on the street did not require the knowing of days or dates just an existence without any end in sight. People could be seen scrounging for food in dumpsters behind food places. Life was not always a bowl of cherries sometimes life dumped shit on the street people. When the urge for the warmth of another hit was any ones guess. And fulfilling the burning desire came to be the end to an aim. Ben was shocked only when he hit his rock bottom some thirty years later. Ben was ashamed that he allowed his mind and body to be ravaged in that way. Ben will get back to the start of things again.

He mostly carried on in the dark of the night. At least the light of day would illuminate the shadows to reveal nothing. That is their action dragged into the light of day. Street people existed twenty-four hours a day. Addicts could go for a week or two with little or no sleep. During this time food was not thought of. The term food was used when looking for a high. People walked around asking if anyone was looking for food. Their type of food was wrapped in plastic and was rock hard. They could have been offering a myriad of goodies to feed the soul. Real food was secondary to the drugs that were required to keep the mind and soul numb. You would think why do people do this? You had to be there to understand life on the street. People followed where they had to go in the world. Lots of people entered the drug infested under world of the cities. Ben was just another person in this decrepit place in the gutter of life.

Ben started out innocent enough as a young teenager. Ben started leaving home for months at a time. Eventually, he would came back to the arms of his family. These journeys changed him outwardly and internally for eternity. Ben’s story will be a shock to those who thought good of him. That is not really true. Ben never knew anyone who thought he was good. As Ben’s story unfolds you will see he was good. Just not in the right sense.

Ben travelled by using his thumb when he was young. The desire to see if the grass was greener on the other side of the mountain had a profound effect on him. This had a direct bearing on his becoming a drug addict. Ben seemed to be drawn to the darkest crevasses of life and what they had to offer. No matter where he was. And I will try to explain his transgressions into the drug use and those terrible experiences of the night. A walk in time over the decades of Ben’s world.

There were those who preferred to do their thing at night. Some did whatever in the light of the day. This is true in the inner cities across this country. Hustle and hassle was the creed of those who were existed in the ghettoes of the inner cities. The discrimination by those who had and those who never had was always present. Society would pay for this very unfortunate turn of events. No one really wanted to assist people in the ghetto. Maybe because they were scared or really did not care. So, why would those that felt they were better than others wind up in run down hotels and motels? Doing everything that was shunned ? I can try to explain some of it this way. Whether you had everything or nothing no one was really exempt from the cravings of drugs or alcohol or both. People needed a release valve from the pressures of everyday stress. And for others I am going to try and paint an accurate picture.

The ghetto was a tangled mass of humanity. Some people came from broken homes, some came due to abuse at home, some because they had criminal records, and some simply slipped through a crack in time. These people had little or no self esteem. All they wanted was to forget the past and numb the present. With no regard for the future except to remain stoned. Ben had his own reasons for being there in the graveyard of the ghetto. He grew up on the wrong side of the tracks so to speak. Life transformed Ben into a simple minded drug addict. Over a lifetime of abuse Ben became ashamed of what he had become. So, this starts an in depth look at that life Ben Crowley chose to follow. A life time of drugs, alcohol, women, rock and roll and choices.

Choices that were made due to Ben’s sense of adventure which ran unchecked through time. Without which there would be no story to tell. He loved the challenges that were put in front of him. From a small city to the ghettos of major cities. He accepted them all with no regrets. He believed Karma was leading him down the road of life. It had to be why else would he be in the here and now? He never thought that Fate may have played a hand in things. Ben learned to take responsibility for his actions only when he decided to get clean. Even then it took all the willpower he could muster to get and stay clean.

Ben’s sense of adventure is what made this story possible. His surviving these horrors, experiences and a life of abusing drugs allowed Ben to write his story. Maybe, someone will heed the experiences that Ben Crowley walked through in time. Once again Ben allows his mind to search for what happened out there in the dark of the night. Also, he looked for anything that occurred in the light of day.

Big cities and bright lights drew many people with dreams of success and happiness. To only succumb to the inner world known as the ghetto. There these individuals seemed to fall by the wayside. Someone had to occupy the bottom of the pile. But no one would ever agree to this. I guess it was an acceptance of life on its own terms. Why keep trying when you constantly get walked over. The upper class that had one foot in both worlds. Those who live in glass houses should not throw rocks at each other. Neither should the rocks be thrown at the downtrodden. Yet, their paths crossed in the ghettos. Here they both co-existed in an uneasy truce. Just long enough at times to finalize a drug deal. Ben knew and understood that. Sometimes, just long enough for sexual favours to be exchanged. Ben also knew that. Two parts of his life that slowly became one.

The rich came to this playground to have fun. Because they had the money for drugs and sex. Why did the rich and the powerful lower themselves in search of an escape and from what? If, Ben had money he would’ve found something better than going slumming in the ghetto. Instead he was among those providing an escape for people with money. Helping to drag more lost souls down into the gutter of life. Any remnants of the rich and powerful ended up here or in the over whelmed prison system. Ben enjoyed taking advantage of those stupid enough to come around. If he didn’t someone else would. Many, many souls were shattered due to being in that playground. Ben sold drugs to the foolish and to the addicted. Ben knew that others did as well.

Early in life Ben found he could make friends with almost anyone. This was odd because he had an edge to his character that showed through. He could be tough and a fair number of people found out the hard way. Ben was not the toughest guy when he was young. However, he learned his life lessons and shared them with any asshole who came around. Practice made perfect and Ben did his best here in the ghettos of his world. Fighting helped build names within the community of street people. Those who survived did so due to skills learned in fighting. No, Ben was not really proud of those memories. He just took the wrong turn somewhere on the highway of life. The scars were not only on the outside but inside his soul. This type of scar healed only by giving a shit kicking to those assholes in the inner cities of his travels. Ben found other outlets for his anger in the world of drugs and more drugs.

Ben was also lovable when the need arose. Especially, with the female persuasion. This is something that Ben would always be proud of. But, it wasn’t the only claim to fame he had. You will see the other claim to fame as you read this story. You may or may not agree with Ben’s choice. Ben made that choice would you? Find out in the pages as Ben’s life unfolds in his walk in time.

Ben grew up during the hey days of the sixties and seventies. In the sixties it was seeing the Vietnam War on the nightly news. The love ins featuring John Lennon and Yoko Ono in bed for peace. Peace marches took place across the states. The war in southeast Asia was claiming American soldiers every day. There were the Vet’s who went to the Nam to fight. And those who died on foreign soil. The U.S. was losing the war at home and on the battlefield. Charlie was a sneaky and well manned army. Peace was what everyone wanted. They also wanted all the troops to come home. The Vietnam War would end in defeat for the U.S.A. The only war to end that way. That end happened in the early seventies.

Woodstock was a muddy, rain drenched music festival in the states that drew hundreds of thousands of peaceniks, drugged, drunk hippies. It brought the best of rock and roll bands to sing about peace and happiness. Free love was exposed on live TV during news casts. It was a spectacular event that would never be forgotten. Hippies smoked pot, popped acid and other drugs of the day at the time. The music was broadcast on speakers strewn up on poles across the whole area. This added to the entire experience for the four hundred thousand people who came to Woodstock. The love in in San Francisco during the summer of love of 1968 was to show support for peace. If you were going to be there you should wear flowers in your hair. This symbolism was on TV and radio stations. Hippies crowded into the city and flowers could be seen by the thousands. Ben fell for the theme of the times, the music and the influx of American men coming to Canada to avoid going to Vietnam. He met lots of draft dodgers. These guys were no different from the next they just refused to go fight Charlie in the swamps and rice paddies over there. This happened in the sixties and seventies.

The booby traps in the jungles and the rice paddies took a huge toll on American and south Vietnamese soldiers. There was also the possibility of being a POW. Ending up in the Hanoi Hilton as a POW was one of the worst things to happen. Thousands of POW’s never came back to the U.S. POW’s were moved from one camp to another. It was no wonder thousands disappeared over in Vietnam. This on top of all the American lives lost in battle. The world slowly began to demonstrate against this inhuman war. Which eventuality led to peace talks as the fall of south Vietnam was about to take place. As far as he could remember. Maybe, Ben wished he could’ve gone to Vietnam. He was too young and not sure of the motivation to fight in southeast Asia. He just wanted to make an impression on the world. Fighting in Nam really was a thought he seriously considered. Ben never went instead he sought refuge in the culture of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Ben went through this in the early seventies. At least he was sure he had. Not that he kept a record of his experiences. Maybe, he should have however he knew that was stupid. If a written form existed and someone got a hold of it. Well, he could’ve been screwed early in life. Paranoia reigned supreme on the streets in any inner city.

That was when Ben first learned of the pleasures of drugs especially Acid or LSD as it was known. Which was made by a very creative chemist or he thought it was. Whomever made it sure helped Ben enjoy life a lot better at times. Yes, taking trips was an awesome experience. Wow! He loved it more and more every time he popped it in his mouth. He began to try other drugs. Some were body stones still others were a mind stone. Some just mellowed others out from smoking pot and hash among others. The music back then made the experience of drugs very interesting in Ben’s mind. Music seemed to heighten the enjoyment of the trips. Yes, music was always cranked and everyone seemed to be laughing at nothing. Yes, those were the nights that were fondly remembered.

Ben remembered the worst trip ever undertaken by his soul. He had taken two double hits of orange double Barrel. His thoughts were getting further and further out there. Ben started to freak out. This scared him and it was time to get help. Ben had never been this high. The thoughts going on in his mind were not natural. Acid never took him to these heights before. The party seemed to be fading into nothingness scrambling his soul with thoughts of fear. The pleasure of the night almost jumped into another dimension. Ben left heading out in a snow storm with the winds howling all around him. The wind chill must have been very cold. Ben felt nothing just a need to seek medical attention. He made it to the nearest hospital hoping to get help in coming off this stuff. Hallucinogenic drugs could fuck your mind up real good. Ben was screwed up, badly paranoid and he hadn’t even peaked yet on this shit. Fear and the paranoia scared him so much he did not trust anyone.

Ben tried to explain to the nurses about his problem. They seemed to think what is this guy on? Ben told them as best he could he had taken too much acid. He was flipping out of his mind and wanted help to come back to reality. The nursing staff put him in a room on a bed. The doctors showed up and suddenly it seemed that a whole lots of people were mumbling and scaring Ben to hell and back. They hooked an iv and shot him with some vitamin c which was to help him come down. They left him alone for what seemed like forever. Acid made the passage of time slow right down to a crawl. A few minutes later he got up and sneaked a peak from the doorway. Spying a gurney in the hall he made dash and slid under it. Suddenly everyone was yelling and had him surrounded. Ben stayed where he was laughing out loud at these people. They were dressed in white and others wore colors. It was then Ben caught site of two uniformed cops. He knew the time had come for him to take off back to the party. He was still laughing and watching everyone. Suddenly, he crawled out and took off running pulling on his jacket at the same time. He almost fell as he went. The cops and security came after him as he headed to the nearest exit.

Once he was outside he vanished in the blowing snow of the night. The darkness aided him to evade the cops who he thought were still chasing him. Somehow, Ben made it back to the party and the safety of his friends. Who were just starting to hit the peak of their high. Ben and Conner took another double hit each. Yes, it actually did help to go back up before you came all the way down. The music soothed his mind and he settled down to enjoy the trip. Listening to Tina Turner, Super Tramp, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Led Zepplin, and Nazareth to name a few.

These episodes forged Ben into the person he would become. He loved the feelings from being high. And he would help anyone who wanted to experiment with all kinds of drugs. Sex, drugs and rock and roll came out of the sixties. And became the mantra for all who lived in those crazy days. That Hippy slogan was still being emulated today, at least in Ben’s circle of friends. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll became a mantra for these greater audiences in future years. Even this did nothing to soothe the burnt out souls in the ghettos. In fact many more people became addicts to escape the problems of everyday life. Ben was one of millions who made up the drug underworld culture in every corner of the world.

Ben takes another walk in time to try and understand what befell him. During those early days people from all over came to hide in the ghetto. A wave of those who did not want to go fight in Vietnam. These draft dodgers wound up teaching him and scores of others about things like MDA, uppers, downers and other pills. There were people who were looking for the latest in mind boggling chemicals. The age of enlightenment in the drug culture had been taking baby steps forward. Suddenly, it starting taking giant bounds in usage, affordability and availability. No wonder the draft dodgers refused to fight. Had they gone over their chances were they would come back as addicts. Southeast Asia was the Golden Triangle for the opium trade.

Ben recalled hearing about the use of opium and heroin by soldiers in the Nam. Ben remembered seeing body bags filled with bags of white powder stuffed around dead soldiers. Back then people made money on the backs of the dead. In the many decades since people were making money on the backs of the unfortunate half dead addicts. People who were just empty shells walking through life. Drug ravaged souls who made up some of the worst of society. Yet, Ben still saw those pictures of body bags filled with white powder and dead soldiers. Ben would have this forever etched in his mind. In more ways than one.

One time this draft dodger, Tom, showed him how to smoke crushed codeine pills with pipe tobacco. It was a body stone for sure. Amazing, what people could find to get a high. Ben learned more and more about the war in southeast Asia from Tom. He said that the draft seemed unfair. If, someone, was in college or university they could avoid the draft. The well off families were rumoured to have the ability to keep their sons from serving in this war. Still, the Vietnam War was the first war to be on the evening news. Pictures and pictures of the gore and pain suffered by those over there became engraved in the minds of the whole world. No wonder soldiers used drugs to numb their feelings. Ben knew he would succumb to the dark times of drug abuse. All this helped Ben to break all the rules he could. Which may have led to his lifelong use of drugs and the effects from them. Along the way he learned life the hard way.

Ben may have started out as a teenager back then. However, he seemed to mature too fast. He should have stopped to smell the roses. However, he chose to take the fast track to growing up. His few years he spent in junior high were drug, alcohol and fight fuelled times. Yes, had he been born in the old west he would have been a gunslinger for sure. A true gun for hire and shooting those who opposed him. In real life he fought with his hands and feet and seldom lost.

Ben knew lots of young ladies who enjoyed being around him. He loved the attention they paid him and the girls knew it. Flirting with different ones in order to find out who would put out was a game to him. Once in awhile he enjoyed fucking some strange girl without any concerns. Then if anyone put up an argument he would pulverize them. Ben learned this the hard way. It had happened to him a few times. He ended up scrapping with his best friends too. Yet, Ben kept it up to get even and he would get even. Ben was a mean, angry teenager who hated assholes. He hated anyone who tried to fuck with him. That hatred followed him through his walk in time.

Ben seemed to get into fights on a daily basis. He did have a chip on his shoulder. And there were guys who tried to knock it off but failed. Even if Ben got the worst of the beating his attitude never died. It just made him more and more determined to never lose. Ben took up lifting weights at an early life. Ben also took up shadow boxing. You might understand his desire to be the best as could be. This actually worked in Ben’s favour over the years. Street fights in and out of school built his image right in front of his peers. Feeding his ego got him into lots