Eaglethorpe Buxton and... Something about Frost Giants

By Wesley Allison

Has Eaglethorpe’s daughter been replaced by a vile doppelganger? Wait... Eaglethorpe has a daughter? Who is her mother? And why is he on the outs with his best friend Ellwood Cyrene? And I assume there are frost giants somewhere in this book. It’s another improbable tale from the wandering storyteller and scoundrel Eaglethorpe Buxton.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wesley Allison
• Release date: Sep 3, 2021
• ISBN: 9780463793718

Wesley Allison

At the age of nine, Wesley Allison discovered a love of reading in an old box of Tom Swift Jr. books. He graduated to John Carter and Tarzan and retains a fondness the works of Edgar Rice Burroughs to this day. From there, it was Heinlein and Bradbury, C.S. Lewis and C.S. Forester, many, many others, and finally Richard Adam’s Shardik and Watership Down. He started writing his own stories as he worked his way through college. Today Wes is the author of more than thirty science-fiction and fantasy books, including the popular His Robot Girlfriend. He has taught English and American History for the past 29 years in Southern Nevada where he lives with his lovely wife Victoria, and his two grown children Rebecca and John.For more information about the author and upcoming books, visit http://wesleyallison.com.Books by Wesley Allison:Princess of AmatharHis Robot GirlfriendHis Robot WifeHis Robot Wife: Patience is a VirtueHis Robot Girlfriend: CharityHis Robot Wife: A Great Deal of PatienceHis Robot Wife: Patience Under FireEaglethorpe Buxton and the Elven PrincessEaglethorpe Buxton and the SorceressThe Many Adventures of Eaglethorpe BuxtonEaglethorpe Buxton and... Something about Frost GiantsThe Sorceress and the Dragon 0: BrechalonThe Sorceress and the Dragon Book 1: The Voyage of the MinotaurThe Sorceress and the Dragon Book 2: The Dark and Forbidding LandThe Sorceress and the Dragon Book 3: The Drache GirlThe Sorceress and the Dragon Book 4: The Young SorceressThe Sorceress and the Dragon Book 5: The Two DragonsThe Sorceress and the Dragon Book 6: The Sorceress and her LoversThe Sorceress and the Dragon Book 7: The Price of MagicThe Sorceress and the Dragon Book 8: A Plague of WizardsThe Sorceress and the Dragon Book 9: The Dragon's ChoiceThe Sorceress and the Dragon Book 10: For King and CountryKanana: The Jungle GirlTesla’s StepdaughtersWomen of PowerBlood TradeNova DancerThe Destroyer ReturnsAstrid Maxxim and her Amazing HoverbikeAstrid Maxxim and her Undersea DomeAstrid Maxxim and the Antarctic ExpeditionAstrid Maxxim and her Hypersonic Space PlaneAstrid Maxxim and the Electric Racecar ChallengeAstrid Maxxim and the Mystery of Dolphin IslandAstrid Maxxim and her High-Rise Air Purifier

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Eaglethorpe Buxton and… Something about Frost Giants

By Wesley Allison

Eaglethorpe Buxton and… Something about Frost Giants

Copyright © 2021 by Wesley M. Allison

Smashwords Edition

Revision 02-15-23

All Rights Reserved. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. This is a work of fiction. Names, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Cover art by Wesley Allison

Cover image © Gennadii Chebeliaev | Dreamstime.com

ISBN: 9780463793718

Dedication

For Vicki, Becky, and John

Patrons

Richard Weiss

Darryl Schnell

Macaroni Drill

To find out about how to be a Patron and support this author’s writing, visit:

www.patreon.com/wesleyallison

Eaglethorpe Buxton and… Something about Frost Giants

By Wesley Allison

Chapter One: In which I ponder the theoretical limit of pies.

It was the largest pie I had ever seen. When I say that, you can rest assured that it means something, because I am Eaglethorpe Buxton, famed around the world as a heroic adventurer, a brilliant author and storyteller, and a connoisseur of pies. There are some who would insist that I am a connoisseur of pies first and foremost, but that is not true. While it is true that there are some who would slanderously, which is to say with much slander, espouse that Elwood Cyrene is a more heroic adventurer than me, there are none who could claim, even slanderously, that there is a better storyteller. On the other hand, I would freely admit that my cousin Celia is at least the connoisseur of pies that I am, though perhaps not the eater of pies that I am. In any case, it was a large pie.

That must be the world’s largest pie, said I.

It is a large pie, said the man standing opposite me, who was the local tavernkeeper. "I don’t know about the world, but it is the largest pie in Fencemar, for it is baked in the largest pie pan that could be found in the town."

Not surprising, said I. "I would imagine that not a bigger pie pan could be found in Illustria herself."

Notwithstanding that, said he. If she could have come by a bigger pan, our piesmith was more than ready to make a bigger pie still. In fact, she expressed great disgust that this was the best we could do in cast iron production.

I should like to meet this piesmith, said I. First though, I would like to eat a slice of that pie.

Then have a seat, said he. It’s a sovereign for a slice, but that slice is a full meal for a grown man and his three grown sons.

Then there may well be enough for me, said I, and my daughter.

Come in here, Ethyl! I called. It’s pie for dinner!

Ethyl is a lovely name, said the tavernkeeper, but he stopped and stared at the seven-year-old ball of spit and anger that stomped into the room.

Her real name is Ethylthorpe, said I.

It’s Ethyl! she hissed, and I’m sick of pie!

Lovely child, said the man, but he was being polite, or he was mistaken, or he had some kind of degenerative eye disease, because Ethylthorpe Buxton was not a lovely child. She wore a pair of baggy overalls and a stained shirt, and she was covered in dirt from head to toe. She had snot running from her right nostril and bloody scab on her forehead. Long gone was the lovely pink and yellow dress that I had ordered her dressed in that morning, and now, the only indication that she was a girl and not some kind of grotesque miniature half-ogre, was her long blond hair, and in it, only one of my carefully braided pigtails remained.

You’ll sit there, and you’ll eat that pie, said I, and you’ll like it, or I’ll give you what for!

She sat down at the table I had selected, crossed her arms, and stuck out her tongue at me. I unwrapped my heavy cloak and put it on the back of the chair.

The tavernkeeper went to the pie and cut out a slice, which he placed on a wooden platter only slightly smaller than a wagon wheel. Then he and two of the tavern girls wrestled it to my table, which it completely covered.

Not to put too fine a point on it, said he. I did say it was a sovereign.

That you did, said I, tossing him the required gold coin.

"You folk are from Aerithraine, said he, showing the obverse of the coin, which is to say the front, upon which sat the image of a beautiful woman. I recognized Queen Elleena."

She’s a beastly hag! growled Ethyl. And I don’t want a huffleberry pie!

You will show some respect! I growled right back at her. Respect for huffleberry pie, if not for the queen!

Hmph! she hmphed.

"I come from Aerithraine originally, I explained, but I’ve been living in Lyrria some seven years now."

I’ll get you some forks, said the tavernkeeper.

Not to fear, said I, whipping out my fork from my shirt pocket, which I call my fork pocket, for it is the pocket in which I carry my fork.

I glared at Ethyl, until she too produced her fork, waving it at me insolently. Like mine, it was made of fine silver and featured a stylized E on the handle.

I sat opposite my dirt-encrusted offspring and took a bite of the pie. It was very good. Despite huffleberries not being my favorite, something that I was not going to admit to my unclean progeny, it was sweet and tart, and the crust was first rate. I had expected huffleberry pie, because we were traveling in the far north of The