The Naughtiest Unicorn Bumper Collection

By Pip Bird

Three books of fun in one! Join Dave the naughtiest unicorn for a BUMPER collection of three favourite funny stories, perfect for reluctant readers and boys and girls aged 5-8.

Mira has always dreamed of having her very own unicorn, so she's over the moon when she finally gets her invitation to Unicorn School! But Dave isn't quite the elegant, sparkling unicorn she's been dreaming of … he's more grumpy than glittery and loves to snooze and eat donuts! But Dave has hidden strengths – he's brilliant at prancing AND and he holds the Unicorn School record for the amount of poos ever done in one day (38) – and soon Mira and Dave are the BEST of friends.

Join Dave and the gang for three amazing, magical adventures in one. This bumper collection contains The Naughtiest Unicorn, The Naughtiest Unicorn at Sports Day and The Naughtiest Unicorn on a School Trip.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins UK
• Release date: Mar 4, 2021
• ISBN: 9780755501724

Pip Bird

Pip Bird is the pseudonym for a small group of brilliant, funny children's book writers. They all believe in magic and dream of having a Unicorn Best Friend Forever.

Book preview

Cover and interior illustrations by David O’Connell

Special thanks to Liz Bankes and Rebecca Lewis-Oakes

The Naughtiest Unicorn first published in Great Britain in 2019

The Naughtiest Unicorn at Sports Day first published in Great Britain in 2019

The Naughtiest Unicorn on a School Trip first published in Great Britain in 2020

by Farshore

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers

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London SE1 9GF

HarperCollinsPublishers

1st Floor, Watermarque Building,

Ringsend Road, Dublin 4, Ireland

This edition first published in Great Britain in 2021

Text copyright © 2019, 2020 Farshore

Illustrations copyright © 2019, 2020 David O’Connell

Source ISBN 978 0 7555 0171 7

eISBN 978 0 7555 0172 4

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

www.farshore.co.uk

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher and copyright owner.

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Other books to enjoy by Pip Bird!

The Naughtiest Unicorn and the School Disco

The Naughtiest Unicorn at Christmas

The Naughtiest Unicorn on the Beach

The Naughtiest Unicorn and the Spooky Surprise

COMING SOON!

The Naughtiest Unicorn on Holiday

The Naughtiest Unicorn in a Winter Wonderland

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Other books to enjoy by Pip Bird!

The Naughtiest Unicorn

The Naughtiest Unicorn: At Sports Day

The Naughtiest Unicorn: On a School Trip

Contents

Chapter One: Magic Monday

Chapter Two: Through the Portal

Chapter Three: Unicorn Best Friend Forever!

Chapter Four: Dave’s Doughnuts

Chapter Five: History Comes Alive …

Chapter Six: Perfect Prancing

Chapter Seven: An Unexpected Quest

Chapter Eight: The Fearsome Forest

Chapter Nine: To the Rescue!

Chapter Ten: Party Time

Who is Your Unicorn Best Friend Forever (UBFF)?

Unicorn Jokes

It was Monday morning and Mira Desai was VERY excited. This was no ordinary Monday morning. This Monday morning was the first day of the holidays AND it was Mira’s first day at a new school! Because this was no ordinary school … this was:

Mira had been desperate to go to Unicorn School since her sister Rani started going two summers ago. Rani wouldn’t stop going on about how wonderful her unicorn (Angelica) was. She kept saying how amazing she was at all the magical quests. And she was always making whinnying noises in Mira’s ear to make her jealous. AND she’d brought home about a hundred Unicorn School quest medals, which had their own special shelf in the living room.

Rani said that quests could go on for days and days and were super exciting. And the time Rani spent at Unicorn School did seem like ages to Mira. But time passed differently at Unicorn School, and Rani was really only ever gone for a day in normal time.

Mira had dreamed of having her own unicorn since FOREVER. She practised plaiting the manes and tails of all her toy horses, persuaded her dad to let her groom his beard and even tried attaching a horn to their cat, Pickles. He wasn’t very pleased.

It was a bit of a mystery who was selected to go to Unicorn School and who wasn’t. Lots of people from Mira’s family had gone to Unicorn School, including Mira’s mum, so Mira hoped more than anything that she would get to go, too. Mira always tried to live her life as open to magic as possible. She wished on stars, she believed in fairies, she said hello to black cats who crossed her path. And then, one incredible day, Mira woke up with a sparkly envelope on her pillow.

Mira remembered it as if it was yesterday. (It was actually last Thursday.) She screamed so loudly that Pickles flung himself off Mira’s bed into a pile of dirty clothes, and Mira’s dad came running in to check what was wrong.

But there was nothing wrong. Everything was finally right. Her hands shaking with excitement, Mira opened the letter:

‘DAD!’ Mira yelled and started jumping on the bed. ‘I’M GOING TO UNICORN SCHOOL!’

Terrified, Pickles jumped on to Mira’s dad’s face and wouldn’t let go of his beard. ‘Mfmfmfmf!’ he said cheerfully and gave Mira a thumbs up, before leaving the room and walking into the wall.

Mira reached inside the envelope and pulled out a leaflet containing all the information about the school, including a map and the School Rules. Mira thought she might faint with delight. Unicorn School was going to be BRILLIANT!

For one thing, Mira couldn’t WAIT to bring home her own medals. She’d already started making a space for them on the shelf (and had accidentally knocked a couple of Rani’s medals into Pickles’s bowl).

But the thing Mira was MOST excited about was getting to meet her unicorn.

Her sister said that the unicorns were specially chosen for each person for specific magical reasons. You would get to spend all day every day with your unicorn: going to lessons, working on projects and going on quests. (Basically your unicorn would be your best friend.)

Mira did have a best friend already at normal school (Katie with a K) but she could definitely squeeze another one into her life. She’d spent a lot of time thinking about her dream unicorn best friend (Princess Delilah Sparklehoof). She’d filled a whole notebook with drawings of her and made a list of all the brilliant things they would do together.

Before heading to the Magic Portal that would take them to Unicorn School, Mira’s mum took them to the supermarket. Mira and Rani needed to get treats for their unicorns and Mum needed to buy doughnuts for someone’s birthday at work.

Mira was wondering what treats unicorns like.

Which aisle do you go to for magic treats? she thought to herself. But when she asked her sister Rani rolled her eyes and said, ‘Unicorns like carrots, obviously’. And so they all headed over to the vegetable aisle.

When they’d bought their carrots they went back to the car. Rani also had some hay left over from last term and Mum thought it would be nice if she shared it with Mira.

The Magic Portal was in the car park by the leisure centre. Mira had never actually seen it – the portal could only be seen by current Unicorn School pupils. Even Mira’s mum couldn’t see it any more, since she had left Unicorn School roughly a thousand years ago. Usually when they dropped her off, Rani got out round the corner so that she wouldn’t be seen with them. But TODAY Mira would be going with her. And she would be one step closer to meeting her unicorn!

There had been quite a bit of traffic on the way and Mum was running late for work.

‘It’s okay, Mum,’ said Rani. ‘I’ll take Mira through.’

Mum looked from one sister to the other and then at her watch.

‘Fine,’ she said. And then she fixed Rani with a LOOK. ‘Make sure you take care of your little sister on her first day.’

Mum handed them their treat bags, gave them both a hug and jumped back in the car. Rani had already started stomping off when Mum rolled down her window. She leaned out with her phone in hand.

‘Girls! Let me take a picture. Your first day at Unicorn School together!’

Rani turned, tutted and folded her arms. ‘MUM, are you crying? That’s so embarrassing.’

Mum sniffed. ‘It brings back such amazing memories of MY first day at Unicorn School! Oh, happy times …’ Their mum stared off into the distance for a moment, before she smiled again and blew her nose. ‘Now, smile girls!’

Rani rolled her eyes. Mira smiled and gave two thumbs up as Mum’s phone camera CLICKED.

‘Love you, girls. Have fun!’ Mum drove off, waving one hand at them out of the window as she left the car park. Mira felt a bit nervous.

‘Where’s the Magic Portal?’ she asked Rani.

‘Over here,’ said her sister. ‘Come on.’

Rani stopped by the wheelie bins in the corner of the car park.

‘So you have to get in the bin, spin round three times and then jump out and scream. Then you’ll be at Unicorn School,’ she said.

Mira looked up at the bin.

‘Are you sure?’ she said.

‘Er, which one of us has a medal for being the Best at the Magic Portal?’ said her sister.

‘Okay …’ said Mira.

Mira clambered into the bin and held her breath. This was SO exciting! (Also, it really stank.) In just a few seconds she’d be in Unicorn School …

Mira leaped out of the bin, yelling at the top of her voice.

‘AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGH!’ came the reply, as she collided with someone.

Mira looked down to see a boy on the ground, staring up at her with wide eyes. Behind him was a man cowering by a bike rack.

‘Oh, hello!’ said Mira, as she helped the boy up. ‘Sorry about that.’

The boy stared at her warily.

‘So this is Unicorn School,’ she said, looking around.

To be honest, it didn’t look very different to the leisure centre car park.

‘Uh – no,’ said the man by the bike racks. Mira supposed he must be the boy’s dad because they looked quite alike and had matching briefcases. ‘This is where you go through the Magic Portal to get to the school. Raheem is just about to go through.’ He gestured at the boy, who gulped.

‘But –’ said Mira, as she looked around for her sister – who was nowhere to be seen. And then she realized – Rani had tricked her and gone through on her own! TYPICAL.

‘We can show you if you like?’ said Raheem’s dad. ‘It’s Raheem’s first day. We’ve had twelve practice runs, just to be safe.’ He squeezed Raheem’s shoulder.

‘Do … do you live in that bin?’ squeaked Raheem.

‘No! I was just … resting there before I went through the portal,’ said Mira. ‘It’s my first day too – I’m Mira. It would be brilliant if you could show me.’

She followed the two of them past the bins and to a little