Something Complicated

By Kath Ocampo

Jen and Brandon are like peanut butter & jelly on a school day and ice cream & sprinkles on a summer day.

 

They are the best pair, until suddenly they're not.

 

Their friendship is in danger of falling apart, and Jen needs to sort her feelings out.

 

Then Stefan re-enters the picture.

 

He's the summer fling, the one mistake, and the heartbreak-that-happened. But he can help Jen fix this, right?

 

When things suddenly become even more complicated, Jen realizes that she needs to get her act together and to make up her mind before it's too late.

 

After all, drama and complications are part of growing up, right?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kath Ocampo
• Release date: Jun 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201972905

Book preview

Something

Complicated

By: Kath Ocampo

For mom, dad and Michael

who are the only members of my fan club

Also to Jenny Han and Kasie West

for inspiring me to write a YA novel inspired by their past works

One week before

Eighteen is not just a number.

Eighteen is a rite of passage. A monumental stage.

Those who claim they never counted the days until they turn eighteen are lying. Because hello, I cannot wait for my birthday on Sunday.

To make myself clear, it’s not because I look forward to finally having a later curfew, or having my own credit card, or finally being able to purchase my own car. It’s more of being old enough to feel independent.

It’s being old enough to feel free.

I also believe in the saying that something life-changing is bound to happen once you turn eighteen.

That is why I made a plan for my special day: cook dinner for my friends and family, watch Legally Blonde and Princess Diaries with said friends and family, and go to the bookstore the next morning. It’s just a simple plan, until my best friend decided to spoil the fun by throwing me a party. I never wanted a party but Brandon insisted on planning one for me.

Brandon Castillo is my best friend. He came to my life one Sunday afternoon when he and his family moved to America from the Philippines when he’s seven. He’s the only Filipino kid, apart from me, in our community at that time. I found him cute back then, but he's cuter now.

Brandon is distributing the invitations to some of my friends in school when he sees me approaching.  His hair is gel-free today so his curls are out-of-place.

Can’t wait for Sunday? He asks while wrapping his arms around me. He loves hugging me like I am his sister. I am just six months younger, but he makes me feel like our age difference is ten. Brandon is protective and strict.

Totally, I say with less enthusiasm. Brandon knows that I am not into parties, but he’s pretty insistent this time. Maybe because my mom pushed him to. I am her only daughter, and it’s every Filipino mother’s dream to plan a debut for her girl. After weeks of pleading, I agreed with a condition that the party must be simple and different from the traditional debut.

I promise you, Jenny. You’ll love the party, He says before giving me another hug.

God, Jen. You’re such a bad actress, It’s Cacay, my closest female friend in school. We became friends because she is a Potterhead and a self-confessed Jane Austen addict like me.

I’m excited, can’t you see? I say, smiling wide enough for them to see my teeth.

Fake, She states matter-of-factly. Anyway, I want a milkshake. Let’s go buy a milkshake.

Cacay grabs me by the arm and pulls me away from Brandon. She swings my arm strong enough for me to lose my balance—and for me to bump into Stefan Manzano, who throws me a surprised glance.

Sorry, I whisper.

You okay? He asks as he takes a step back. Stefan’s tall, about 6’0. He towers over me so I look like a kid beside him.

Yeah, I bob my head lightly. Brandon takes a step closer and rests a hand on my back.

Stefan shoots him a glance before whispering, Okay, just be careful next time.

When Stefan’s out of earshot, Brandon tugs my arm as a way of asking if I’m fine. I smile to assure him that I am.

You know, he’s hot, but he’s taken. So no, thank you. Cacay, as expected, comments. Come on. You have to buy me a milkshake. You’re turning eighteen, and good things happen when you’re eighteen.

Good things happen when you’re eighteen.

Sounds good to me, I smile at her.

Chapter One:

Of best friends and awkward kisses

Few minutes from now my 18th birthday will be over. I excused myself from the guests to go to my room. I have to get the simple thank you gift I wrapped for Brandon, who is as busy as my mom in making sure my party would turn out to be a blast.

Brandon’s my best friend in the whole wide world. We’ve known each other since second grade. I used to hate his stinky socks, but I hung out with him because of his mom’s butternut cookies. After he punched my classmate for bullying me and my bushy hair, we started to become real friends. Since then, we’re inseparable.

Thinking of what to give Brandon is not as difficult as buying a gift for the other men in my life, a.k.a. my grandfather and my dad. They both have everything in life, and I can’t think of something that would make them smile and say Thank you Jennifer for your gift. It’s what I need. Even though they will still appreciate whatever I give them, I still want to, well, at least, surprise them. But with Brandon, it’s pretty easy as easy as you spell the word easy. I know his likes, dislikes, his dreams, what excites him, or what ticks him. He’s like an open book to me. No secrets, no lies, just honesty and pure friendship.

And he knows me just as much for him to throw me a bohemian-inspired party for my 18th birthday. He knows I never wanted the traditional Filipino debut—all pink with 18 candles and roses. He knows that I wanted it as low key as possible. So together with my mom, Brandon invited some of my friends and relatives, and planned details such as food and set-up. That’s why as my thank you gift for him, I got Brandon the new version of his favorite video game, Call of Duty: Black Ops, which he can play non-stop as his older brother (and technically the one taking the parental role now) is gone for a week on a business trip. Both of his parents are back in our home country, the Philippines, to start a business.

Maybe he can stay tonight though. We still have to binge-watch the sixth season of White Collar. Guess I have to ask mom and dad.

I am busy rummaging through my closet to find the black laced top I bought the other day, when I hear three fast knocks. I don't need to ask to know who it is.

Come in, I say, quite cheerfully.

Hi there, birthday girl, Brandon winks at me as he lies down on my bed. How's the party going?

Brandon, you've asked me that question for like five times already.

I know, He takes one pillow and hugs it like it's his long lost friend. But I want to make sure you're enjoying your party, as in really enjoying, not acting like you're enjoying.

Well, the ham and cheese pizza is the bomb, and the indie pop, rock stuff you play is nice, I sit on top of my bed and tousle his hair. And there's booze. Booze! You made my parents agree to have booze at my party.

He laughs at that, and I do, too. I'm straight-edge Jen who never smoked a cigarette or drank a bottle of beer until tonight when my mom kind of allowed me to drink just one bottle of light beer. For a first time drinker, I'm proud of myself for still being able to think and walk straight.

So for that, thank you, I put a hand on top of his head and give him a peck on the right cheek. He seems quite surprised by it, but suddenly he's not because he throws a pillow at my face. And it ruins my lipstick, which stains my newly-changed pillow cover.

Not funny, Castillo.

Ooooh, she's pissed. She's calling me by my last name, Brandon teases.

It's still 11:30, and to remind you, it's still my birthday, which means all your teasing is invalid until this day expires, I say, sounding defensive as usual.

As you say, birthday girl, He sits up and holds both his hands up like a prisoner.

Good boy.

Since I am bound to be good to you until the clock strikes twelve, I guess I'm also bound to give you something, He reaches for the pocket of his jacket, and stops. Close your eyes first.

Why do I even have to close my eyes, I frown, but decide to follow his order anyway.

The bed squeaks as he moves closer, and I feel his breath on my neck. I initially thought there’s someone knocking on my door, until I realized it is the beating of my heart that I am hearing.

Now open your eyes.

I do as I was told and I notice a silver heart pendant dangling near my chest. I touch it, and the light coming from the room reflects on it, making it look like it's shining. It’s beautiful. Then I realized it is the same necklace I was trying to buy (but was unsuccessful) last week for my birthday.

Remember that necklace you were so crazy about that you wouldn't let it go, but the money you saved was not enough so you almost cried because you had to give it back to the saleslady? Brandon makes it sound like it happened years ago when it was just last week, and I remember all of it. I said, 'No one should make my best friend cry, even a necklace,' so I went back there, with my savings for The Beatles concert on hand, and bought it.

Why are you saving up for a Beatles concert anyway when half of them are dead? I chuckle. But thank you. Really, really thank you. Words are not enough to describe how happy I am at this moment.

Happy to be of service, He gestures his hand like those cashier guys at the grocery store.

But it would have been better if you wrapped a potential boyfriend for me, It’s just a joke, but Brandon's face suddenly turns dead serious.

Jenny, you don't have a boyfriend because you’re not yet ready to have a boyfriend.

How can you say that? I raise my eyebrow at him, shocked with his statement. I don't have a boyfriend because you block guys who want to date me. You didn't even invite a single guy I can make out with tonight.

"I did invite guys from your Lit Club, and you're not allowed to make out tonight. As if Tita would allow that."

"You know that Zach and Tony are not counted as 'guys,' and who are you, my brother?" I shake my head.

No. I'm your best friend, and I tell you, it’s better if you’re not committed to anyone.

Oh really now..

Yes, really, Brandon says, sounding like he's challenging me. There are guys at school who only want to get into your pants. You’d just end up hurting and I’d spend the whole month seeing you cry and blame yourself.

Hey, no one wants to get into my pants, and if there are, that's not what I want. I know how to distinguish a jerk from afar.

I know. That's why you ended up crying last summer, Brandon adds a tsk at the end for emphasis.

That’s a different story!

No!

I don't get you. You said I’m not ready to go into a relationship, but how would I know if you’d always stop or scare anyone who would go near me. Seriously, you and dad should let me live my life. I’m eighteen now.

That’s not what I meant, He takes a deep breath as he closes his eyes. I mean if you just look around you, then you might understand.

And as the last word leaves his lips, he wastes no time to kiss me. For a few seconds, my brain is saying This is not real. But now that his fingers are gracing my cheek, I am brought back to my senses. I am kissing my best friend, and it’s wrong and it also feels right.

Then as I am about to get lost in his world, Brandon suddenly pulls away.

Sorry, so much alcohol, He murmurs like he's saying it to himself rather than to me. We stare at each other for a few seconds and then without any warning, he stands up and leaves.

And I am left wanting and wishing for more.

I THOUGHT I KNEW EXACTLY what to say or do, until I found myself standing in front of his apartment door.

Usually, I would pound on it over and over to either wake him up or piss him off. He would then open the door, his face red out of annoyance, just to find me making fun of him and his Spongebob-printed boxers. His lips would twitch into a smile and he would pull me in for a hug. I would poke his belly, try to make fun of his missing abs. He would then tickle me on the side to shut me up, eventually making me lose my balance, allowing him to carry me inside.

But that was before. Things are different now. Technically, things became different since my guy best friend drunk-kissed me at my birthday party yesterday fifteen minutes before midnight.

And it wasn’t just a simple kiss. It’s a kiss meant for make-out sessions in the bedroom, or for romcom movies with cheesy plots. It’s a kiss that made me see my best friend in a different light.

Brandon, I knock on the door, knowing all too well that everything would be awkward between us, whether he remembers the kiss or not. But I’d rather have him remember what happened than have me act like things are normal.

About three minutes and a good round of knocking have passed, I am ready to leave. I am about to send Brandon a text message when his door opens. A girl with red hair and a messed-up bun, someone I haven’t met before, stands before me. We’re almost the same height, only that she looks taller because her neck is longer, if that’s even possible.

Hi, I manage to say. She looks at me from head to toe, so I do the same. That’s when I noticed she’s not wearing anything but a towel wrapped around her slender body.

Who’s it? I hear Brandon ask from somewhere inside their apartment unit. He sounds bouncy, which is unlikely for someone who’s not really a morning person.

Hey, Jenny, He tenses upon seeing me. He scratches his head, trying to figure out the right way to wear a shirt, which is scrunched due to a night of wild escapade. When he successfully covers his non-existent abs, he puts an arm around the girl’s waist. Sel, this is my best friend, Jenny, the one I told you about.

The girl, or Sel, gives me another good measure before offering her hand up for a handshake. I can’t decipher whether she’s happy or pissed to meet me. But with the two of them looking almost naked and who seemed like they were having a good time, I’d go with the latter.

Hi, She speaks without looking at me. She’s busy knotting the towel wrapped around her body, so it won’t fall down and reveal the secret she’s hiding. The same secret Brandon saw last night after he kissed me at my birthday party. How lovely.

Uh, hello again, I can’t stand staring at the both of them. This is something I don’t want pinned on my mind. My chest hurts, thinking how he must have kissed her neck last night. Uh, clearly this isn’t the perfect time so I... I hold out a box covered in pink Japanese paper with a gold ribbon tied on it. I just want to give you my thank you gift. You know, for helping me out on my birthday.

Brandon is about to say something when I turn my back on him. I don’t want him to see the tear that’s about to fall from my eye.

See you around, Brandon, I dare to say before walking away.

Chapter Two:

Put the Ex before best friend

Jen

Brandon was a no-show at the dinner last night even though mom personally invited him. He said there’s something important he needed to do. For all I know, that ‘important’ was not ‘something,’ but ‘someone.’ Maybe he’s busy getting to know Sel, his new girlfriend.

I am pissed at him. Really, really pissed. Why didn’t he tell me about her? Why did he have to hide it from me? I tell him everything—my secrets, my frustrations, about my first kiss, my flings. Everything. That is something best friends do. But he totally forgot about that—about me –when he met Sel. And it’s not that I’m jealous of her. I met all of Brandon’s exes. Every time he had a new girlfriend, he would introduce her to me first, and would ask for my opinion. And every single time, Brandon would listen and consider. With Sel, it’s different. It’s like my opinion didn’t matter—that I didn’t matter. He never let me meet her since I caught them together the morning after my birthday party, where he unintentionally (or intentionally) kissed me. AND WHY DID HE HAVE TO KISS ME AND NEVER MENTION ABOUT IT? I am confused. I am hurt. And okay, I am jealous.

Tonight, though, my (ex) guy best friend has decided to show up. He called earlier to say that he’s coming for dinner, after my mom persuaded him to do so. I asked if he’s going to bring Sel, but he changed the topic by telling me stuff like Mrs. Arguelles went on a date with Mr. Santos, Priscilla got into a fight with Aubrey—stuff that I already know since everyone is gossiping about them at school. We might not admit it, but we both know something has changed. Our usual witty conversations have suddenly become awkward and uncomfortable.

Jenny, get the door, will you? Mom calls out. She’s in the kitchen, busy preparing for dinner. I smell ham and my favorite pork stew. I have no idea why she’s preparing so much when there’s going to be just five of us—well six, including Brandon, for dinner.

I dash towards the living room, thinking it’s the deliveryman with my monthly subscription of Cosmo, or my little brother, Jester, arriving from school. But it’s not the deliveryman or Jester waiting for me to get to the door. It’s Brandon.

Hi, He greets.

Awkward silence. Kroo-kroo.

Hi, I reply, my heart suddenly beating fast. Now that he’s here, I have no idea what to say. Should I scream at him for not telling me about Sel? Should I confront him about the kiss? Or should I stay silent and go back to my room?

Long time no see, He ends the silence that’s stretching between us.

It’s been a few days but yeah, long time no see, I open the door wide for him to get in.  He removes his Chucks and places them behind my mom’s large antique vase, just like he used to do when we were kids playing find my shoe to kill time. It’s crazy how a few days would feel like