Feels Like Love: Feels Like Falling, #3

By J. S. Cooper

We were two perfect strangers in the night...

 

My world is crumbling around me.

My entire family is full of secrets and now I don't know who I can trust.

And then there's him.

The man with the dark eyes.

The man with the scar on his chest.

The man that would be my savior and protector all in one; yet, I don't need a knight in shining armor.

 

What started as a weekly meeting in a hotel room has now become so much more.

He's the answer to all the questions in my life.

I'm the answer to his salvation.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. S. Cooper
• Release date: May 21, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201487126

J. S. Cooper

J.S. Cooper is the New York Times bestselling author of multiple indie-published books, including the Ex Games series, the Private Club series, and the Martelli Brothers series. Born in London, she now lives in the US, where she is currently working on the next book in the Swept Away series.

Book preview

Chapter One

Have you ever had that feeling where your stomach is sinking and everything around you is spinning? You’re seconds away from fainting to the ground in pure and absolute shock.

Still conscious, but barely.

I stared at Jackson. There was a look in his eyes that was something like pity, and I hated him for it. I didn’t need his pity. If he said anything that made me think he felt sorry for me, I’d slap him.

I’m sorry, Rosie. I didn’t want you to find out this way.

Didn’t want me to find out this way? How long have you known? If there was an Oscar for most accusing role, I’d win in a heartbeat.

How long have I known what?

How long have you known that James has been fucking my mom? If he continued playing the dumb role, I’d be out of there. I had zero time for games right now.

It’s been going on for two years, he said gently.

Two years? The blood was rushing in my ears. So you knew the very first time you met me?

I can’t answer that question.

Why, because it will incriminate you? Because then I’ll actually find out that the reason we met wasn’t by chance? He shook his head but I barely noticed. I know I’m a fool, but I’m not that much of a fool, Jackson. I know there’s no way this was all a big coincidence. This was all just one big setup, wasn’t it? You’re no better than my father.

I’m sorry that you feel that way. He pressed his lips together.

I could see that he was angry, but I didn’t give two shits. What did he have to be angry about? What, you got nothing to say to that?

I can understand why you think that.

So you’re not denying it—you knew who I was when we first met?

Come, he said. He opened the door to another room and led me inside. He turned on the light and I saw that we were in a library. Close the door behind you.

I closed it and turned to look at Jackson, who silently sat down and patted the chair next to him. I just shook my head and walked over to the other side of the table.

You can sit next to me, Rosie.

I don’t think so, thank you. So, I said, leaning my elbows on the table, are you going to tell me the real truth this time, or have we got another work of fiction coming, Hemmingway?

Rosie, this… He paused, then banged his fists against the table, startling me. We shouldn’t be having this conversation here.

Okay, so then why are we?

Because I don’t want you to be upset with me.

I don’t care, Jackson! I burst out. I don’t trust you. I don’t believe you. You set me up. I guess you got a good fuck out of it, and now, whatever.

This wasn’t about the sex.

It wasn’t about the sex? You met me at a train station, my voice was rising now, you led me to a hotel room where we fucked like fucking bunny rabbits. I thought we were two strangers in the night, but we weren’t. You knew exactly who I was. I was just a fucking fool that didn’t know who you were. You set me up. I bet it was you that took the photographs as well, wasn’t it? What’s your next move? Do you want a million dollars? Is that why you turned down the hundred grand from my mom? Because you’re holding out for more? Is that it?

Rosie, do you fucking think this is about money? Really?

He got up and walked over to me, stopped next to my chair. I looked up at him; I could see the vein in his throat popping. He was pissed, but I was pissed too.

You’re not going to be the victim here, Jackson, okay? I’m not going to let you become the victim. You’re not gaslighting me, sucker.

Did you just call me a sucker? His lips twitched, but I didn’t smile back at him. I’m not trying to be the victim. I don’t think I am the victim, but my feelings … or rather our situation is … He waved a hand between us. This is something more complicated than I thought it would be. I didn’t expect this. This was real, okay?

What was real, the sex? I know it was real, I was there.

You know this is about more than sex, Rosie.

No, it’s not. I rolled my eyes slightly.

Yes, it is. I’m helping you figure yourself out. I’m—

I started laughing. "You’re helping me figure myself out? Is that a joke? What are you helping me figure out? That I like to be on top? Whatever, I already knew that. You’re not the only man I’ve fucked."

I know this isn’t your true personality, Rosie. I know this is—

You don’t know shit about me, Jackson. I don’t know who paid you or what this is all about, but you don’t know shit about me and my life, so why do—

He grabbed my hands and pulled me up. So then tell me, tell me about yourself.

Why? I don’t have to, and I don’t trust you. Even if I wanted to tell you, I wouldn’t tell you shit.

I understand why you don’t trust me, okay? But this whole thing is a lot more complicated than you think.

I paused. Wait—so does James know about us then?

No. He shook his head.

Am I really supposed to believe that?

Do you think James knows, Rosie? Do you think he’d be engaged to you if he knew you were fucking me?

I started laughing, almost hysterically. But he’s fucking my mom. What sort of fucked up world is this? This is not what I want in my life. This is—

Listen to me, Rosie. I know that your mind is reeling right now. I know that you feel like everything is spinning out of control, but I promise you that I’m not the bad guy here. He paused. Okay, I’m not the good guy, but I’m not the bad guy.

So what guy are you then?

I’m the right guy.

I stared at him for a few seconds then shook my head. What the fuck does that mean?

What do you think it means, Rosie?

I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking!

Look, I got into this situation with one purpose in mind, and now I’m somewhere else, okay?

What do you mean now you’re somewhere else?

Now … Now I don’t want to fulfill that purpose.

What was the purpose?

I was meant to ruin your engagement.

You were meant to ruin my engagement? Oh! I sat back down again. My mom hired you. She was jealous, she didn’t want me to be with James. She was just pretending, but—

No, Rosie. It wasn’t your mom that hired me.

My dad? I narrowed my eyes at him. Why would my dad set this whole thing up if he didn’t want it to go through?

It wasn’t your dad, Rosie.

Then Joey? No, he wouldn’t. Would he? Was it Joey, because I had him beaten up?

Jackson let out a deep, long sigh. It wasn’t Joey.

So then who? Who would do this to me? I just don’t understand.

It was John, Rosie.

The world around me went still. For a moment, all I could hear was the beating of my heart. What? I whispered. John? My brother?

"Yes, Rosie. It