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This Will Not Look Good on My Resume
This Will Not Look Good on My Resume
This Will Not Look Good on My Resume
Ebook146 pages1 hour

This Will Not Look Good on My Resume

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

3/5

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About this ebook

Everyone gets fired at least once. (And if not, well, you're just not trying very hard.) And we all think of brilliant and immature 'shoulda saids' and 'shoulda dones' for weeks after. (Okay, years.) This Will Not Look Good on My Resume is a  collection of loosely related stories and employments that did not end well.


LanguageEnglish
PublisherMagenta
Release dateSep 2, 2010
ISBN9781926891415
This Will Not Look Good on My Resume
Author

Jass Richards

Jass Richards (jassrichards.com) has a Master's degree in Philosophy and for a (very) brief time was a stand-up comic (now she's more of a sprawled-on-the-couch comic). Despite these attributes, she has received four Ontario Arts Council grants. In addition to her Rev and Dylan series (The Road Trip Dialogues, The Blasphemy Tour, License to Do That, and The ReGender App), which has reportedly made at least one person snort root beer out her nose, she has written This Will Not Look Good on My Resume (shortlisted for the Rubery Book Award), followed by its sequel Dogs Just Wanna Have Fun ('nuff said). She has also written the perfect cottage-warming gift, TurboJetslams: Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God (which, along with License to Do That, made it to Goodreads' Fiction Books That Opened Your Eyes To A Social Or Political Issue list), its sequel, CottageEscape.zyx: Satan Takes Over, and a (way)-off-the-beaten-path first contact novel, A Philosopher, A Psychologist, and An Extraterrestrial Walk into A Chocolate Bar, along with its supplemental Jane Smith's Translation Dictionary of Everyday Lies, Insults, Manipulations, and Clueless Comments. Lastly, she has published a collection of her stand-up bits, titled Too Stupid to Visit and other collections of funny bits. Excerpts from her several books have appeared in The Cynic Online Magazine, in Contemporary Monologues for Young Women (vol.3) and 222 More Comedy Monologues, and on Erma Bombeck's humor website. Her one-woman play Substitute Teacher from Hell received its premiere performance by Ghost Monkey Productions in Winnipeg. Her worst-ever stand-up moment occurred in Atlanta at a for-blacks-only club (apparently). Her best-ever stand-up moment occurred in Toronto when she made the black guy fall off his stool because he was laughing so hard at her Donovan Bailey joke. (The guy set a world record for running the 100M in 9.84 seconds, yeah? Big wup. My dog can do better than that. 'Course, she's black too.)

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Reviews for This Will Not Look Good on My Resume

Rating: 2.7857142857142856 out of 5 stars
3/5

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  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Brett Laramie has a problem with keeping a job. Most people settle into a career and do their best to keep it, Brett well, not so much. Even with double degrees she rarely last more than a few weeks in any position. Her lack of people skills doomed her attempts at as a Crisis Hotline Operator, a waitress and a Halfway house supervisor. Her general dislike of children meant that a career as a Nanny or substitute teacher was never going to take off. But it's Brett's disdain for authority that guarantees trouble in almost every workplace.This Will Not Look Good on My Resume is a collection of entertaining anecdotes of Brett's attempt to find gainful employment. You have to admire her contempt for beauracracy and petty rules that we all chafe against in our jobs. With her quick wit and indifference to the consequences, she illustrates the absurdity of the employer/employee relationship. The stories are told in an informal conversational style and mostly for deliberate comic effect. There are some giggles to be had and Richards displays a good sense of comic timing. Sometimes the humor slides into questionable taste (drowning children is not my idea of natural selection). There are also some rather bitter diatribes in amongst the stories, particularly about men, that made me cringe once or twice.This Will Not Look Good on My Resume is a light and amusing novel that would work equaly as well as a stand up comedy routine. If you are looking for a giggle (and hate your job) this book is sure to please.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    In short, “On My Resume” is a rant. There is no group of humans that the narrator has empathy for. She has equal disdain for supervisors, coworkers, overworked moms, ministers, businessmen who are trying to write books, students, school administrators, government policy makers, neighbors, etc., etc., etc. Most of all, the narrator is a woman that hates men. I tired quickly of the narrator’s misandry, and I might have been able to stomach this polemic if the humor was not so tired. Richards uses a writing device of returning to a particular phrase several times in a chapter, which the first time was a little funny, the second time felt familiar but after that it was tedious.I felt that Richards was trying to emulate writers like Sedaris, who at times can be quite negative, but Richards missed the mark. Negativity without fresh humor is just negativity. After the third chapter when I realized that the entire book was just going to be more of the same thing, I wanted to give up. Did the book have any redeeming features? The last chapter, which talked about a dog walking job, was laugh out loud funny. (Using Richards own device, a miracle did occur.) I read sections of that chapter to my roommate in the car one day, and we were both laughing at the characters Richards created in a motley crew of dogs. If the book had been a few chapters of jobs gone wrong, a few chapters about dogs, and some chapters on other things, the book might have held my interest. As it is, this’ll give me a book to give a one-star rating to on LibraryThing, a first for me.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I read the ebook of this book. cant decide if I liked it or not. I laughed a lot. could not believe the things she said and did. She was mean too a lot of people. I could see the different jobs. they were real. good writer the book had a nice flow. lots of jobs and situations can definately laugh at herself and others.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I was incredibly lucky enough to win This Will Not Look Good on My Resume by Jass Richards and what a wonderful prize it was for my entertainment. At once both hilarious and yet realistic, it brought so many memories of my work experiences especially a BS situation I had involving finding my “colors” just as the character goes through. Who comes up with this crap and am I the only one who thinks it's crap? This is what I thought I was alone in thinking until this book. I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a laugh, especially those stuck in jobs where you may like the work but hate the co-workers! Wonderful work, Mr. Richards and here’s to many more novels for my selfish enjoyment.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    I think this could have been a good book. I couldn't even finish it though. The jokes in this book are often cruel, and the woman who is the "narrator" is a jerk. There were a few things in there that I laughed at, but the majority of it was just obnoxious. By the second chapter, I understood the idea "Men=sexist pigs and women=the superior race". There were only so many times in the few chapters I read that I could stomach the whole concept. I was really looking forward to reading the book. From the synopsis, I thought this would be a hilarious light read. It turned into a woman's rant. The book simply became monotonous and definitely NOT FUNNY . I don't think I need to read any further to see how many more ways she can fit in how stupid, shallow, slow witted, sexist, and piggish men can be.