Saving Nia

By G. Ferby-Jones

Saving Nia follows the lives of a family of children removed from their homes by child welfare services. Nia, the main character who was placed in foster care at birth, was raised by a loving foster mother. At the age of six, she is suddenly taken from her home and place with her shockingly abusive biological family. Living in a nightmare, she b

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Apr 14, 2020
• ISBN: 9781640886872

Book preview

Nia’s Abduction

Nia was six years old when her world crashed.

When she heard her mother call her, she became so happy that she ran down the stairs. She had been sitting on the top step, which was where she usually sat while her mother talked to a social worker. But the day her life changed, she saw her favorite teddy bear in the social worker’s hand and her suitcase on the floor.

Nia turned and ran back upstairs. No! No! No! No! tumbled from her mouth as she ran into her room. All her clothes were gone! She crawled under her bed and started screaming. She couldn’t stop. She screamed, Momma, Momma, Mommy! She could barely catch her breath between screaming and crying. Her body shook uncontrollably.

The social worker face appeared under the bed. Nia scooted further under her bed. The social worker’s voice kept flashing around her, and she trembled from fear and screamed louder. The social worker’s face left from under the bed, and she heard, Mrs. Patterson, will you help me?

Nia saw her mother’s shoes. Her mother’s arms reached for her, and she saw her mother’s face and heard her soft voice, Come on, baby. Mother’s here. Come on out from under the bed.

Nia inched out, yielding to her mother’s soft voice and gentle pulling. She climbed onto her mother’s lap as her mother sat on the floor and she held tightly onto her mother with her arms stretched around her neck. She pressed her face into her mother’s chest. Her mother rocked her from side to side as they sat on the floor.

I want you to be a good girl, her mother whispered into her ear while kissing her. You know you’ll always be my little girl. You know I told you about your birth mother whose belly you came out of. She wants you to be with her now.

Nia clung onto her mother as she carried her down the stairs. She screamed as her mother sat her in the social worker’s car and strapped the seat belt around her. Her mother whispered in her ear, Mommy will always love you.

Mrs. Patterson fought panic from overtaking her as she closed the door to the upheld arms and frantic screams of her baby. There was a thick fog all around her, and she thought she was walking in a nightmare as she moved away from the car. Her stomach erupted, and she turned her head toward the ground because she felt as if she would vomit. As she stood and watched the car move farther and farther away, she felt her heart being pulled out of her body toward it. She wanted to run behind it. She screamed out, No! It was all she could do to catch up with the vehicle.

She grabbed the railing along the steps barely in time to break her fall as her knees gave out and she lowered her body onto the steps. She sat with her head down nearly in her lap, sobbing until neighbors’ voices and hands rubbing her arms and back broke through her desolation.

When she entered her house, the emptiness overtook her. She sat in her rocker, Nia’s favorite chair. As she rocked, events that had twirled around them the last few weeks and led to this tragic day replayed in her mind. She saw her little girl sitting on the steps, and it was just like she was watching a movie.

Nia sat on the steps. Although she was supposed to be in her room, she would sit on the steps so that she could watch until the social worker stood up to leave. She would then run down the stairs and go into the kitchen. The kitchen was where she knew her mother would go to after the social worker’s visit. Nia would sit at the kitchen table and draw pictures, color, and play with her doll babies, all the while talking and laughing with her mother as her mother cooked, washed dishes, did laundry, and did whatever else she found to do that kept her in the kitchen for so long.

She had been used to social workers coming to her home and talking with her mother. They would ask questions about her. Sometimes her mother would call her to come and talk with the social worker. Then her mother would go into the kitchen while the social worker asked Nia questions as they sat at the dining room table. Nia would eat the cookies and drink from the glass of milk that her mother would have placed on the table before returning to the kitchen. The social worker would say, Mrs. Patterson…umm…your foster mother says you’re doing very well. Some of the questions seemed silly to Nia.

Are you happy? the social worker would ask.

Nia would respond, Yes! She would jump as she answered the question.

Is your foster mommy a good mommy?

You mean my mommy? Nia would blurt out. Her eyes would be fixed on the social worker.

Yes, I mean your mommy, the social worker would respond.

Yep! She’s a good mommy. Nia would giggle and then yell out, The best mommy in the whole world!

How often does your mommy take you to the park?

Every day!

When you do something wrong, what does your mommy do?

She kisses me.

Your mommy kisses you when you do something wrong? The social worker’s voice would have a surprised tone.

Nia would nod her head. Uh-huh. She tells me I did something bad and she doesn’t want me to do it anymore. Then she tells me she loves me, and that’s why she wants me to do things good. Then she kisses me.

After the social worker would leave, Nia would ask, Mommy, why are they always asking questions?

Because you’re so special, and everyone loves you and knows what a strong little girl you are.

Mrs. Patterson had told Nia how the doctors didn’t think she would live after she was born. She would tell her the story over and over again, because Nia liked hearing the story.

Sweetie, when I first saw you, I didn’t know what to think. You were so small and so sick. All sorts of tubes—some bigger than you—were all over your body. When I looked at your little face, you looked like an angel. You looked so sweet and peaceful. I knew you were strong. I said to myself, ‘We’ll show them.’ So I brought you home from the hospital. I had to do a lot of things to help you breathe, and you were on all kinds of medicines. When we’d go to the doctors, they’d say bad things. They told me you had only a few months to live. That made me cry, but I thought to myself, ‘I’m gonna make you the happiest baby until God calls you to be with him in heaven.’ See, I was believing the doctors, but God had something else in mind.

She put her hands on her hips and smiled. Now look at you! You, my big little girl, and they said you would live only a few months. And the good Lord took you off all those medicines!

Nia had asked how she got to be such a sick baby.

You were born with poisons in your body.

But how did the poisons get into my body, Mommy? Nia had inquired, a puzzled look on her face.

They got in you because they were in your birth mother’s body.

What’s a birth mother? Nia’s eyebrows would crinkle as her eyes squinted when she didn’t quite understand something as they did when she had asked that question.

Her mother told her that her birth mother was the lady whose belly she was made in. When she grew too big for that lady’s belly, the doctors took her out.

Oh! Nia had said the first time she’d heard the story. She’d been quiet for moments. Then she had looked up at her mother and asked, How did the poisons get into my birth mother’s body?

Nia’s mother did not respond for such a long time that Nia tapped her shoulder. Then her mother said, She took the wrong medicine, and they hurt her body.

Why did she take bad medicines that hurt her body?

Because she was sick and she was confused. She was too sick to take care of herself or you. That’s why the social worker asked me to take you from the hospital and bring you to our home. You cried all the time when I first brought you home, so I would hold you in my arms and sit in the rocking chair and rock back and forth, and then you would stop crying. I’d sit with you in my arms in that chair for hours.

Even as Nia grew bigger and stronger, she loved to sit on her mother’s lap in that rocker. She’d lay her head on her mother’s chest and let her body go limp as her mother’s big warm arms would enfold her. It was as if their bodies flowed together as they rocked in the chair.

As Nia got older, every evening, when she’d hear the music that told her the news was coming on, she’d drop her dolls or whatever she was busy doing and run into the living room. It was her special time to sit on her mother’s lap, because while the news was on, her mother, who was normally very busy, would sit in the rocking chair and watch the television. Not too long after the news was over, they would walk upstairs. Nia would have a bath. When she was in bed, her mother would sing her a song, and then they’d say prayers together.

Things began to change when a social worker came to their home and stayed a long time talking to Mrs. Patterson. Nia was playing with her dolls at the top of the stairs. She really wanted to be downstairs, but she stayed at the top of the stairway, which was as close as she could be to her mother since she had been directed to stay upstairs until the meeting was over. She was trying to be quiet, but her doll baby kept talking. So she had to whisper into her doll baby’s ear, Shush. Be quiet, Titi. But Titi was noisy and kept walking down the banister with Nia’s hand clasped around her waist. She was a teenage doll baby, so she didn’t want to listen. Nia had to tell her, Stop! You can’t go down there! She snuck down a few steps to keep Titi from going farther down the banister.

She heard that lady who was talking to her mother say, Visits will begin this Saturday. Nia needs to get to know her family. There was such a long time when nobody spoke that Nia stepped down a step, bent forward, and peeked into the living room to make sure the lady was still there. When she saw the lady, she pounced down and sat on the step above the one she had been standing on. She was tired of being upstairs. It was time for her to go to the park and play.

She and her mommy went to the park every day. Her mother would push her on the swing, and she would swing and swing and swing. It was as if she was a bird, flying as the swing would take her up into the sky. When she put her chin down onto her chest as she came back down, she’d feel the air swishing past her, and it would feel so good.

As Nia reflected on being at the park on a swing, she heard her mother say, Go back upstairs, Nia!

She stomped up the steps. Now she really wanted that lady to leave!

Nia sat down on the top step with Titi. She told Titi, I want that lady to leave!

Then she heard her mother say, Please, let me tell her.

When she heard the lady say, Goodbye, Mrs. Patterson, Nia tiptoed down a few steps and peeked into the living room. She watched them go out the door. Immediately, Nia ran down the stairs into the living room. She jumped on the couch and stared at the open porch door. Her mother came back into the house and locked the door behind her. Slowly, she walked into the living room and sat in the rocking chair. Nia got off the couch and sat on her mother’s lap.

Nia, her mother said, very softly, remember when I told you that I went to see you in the hospital? You were so tiny, as tiny as my hand. See my hand? her mother said, holding up her palm for Nia to see.

That tiny? Nia held her hand to her mouth as she giggled.

And you had tubes attached to your body?

Yep, like the pipe baby. Nia arched her back and tossed her head back.

Don’t lean back so far, Nia, her mother warned. You could fall. Pay attention. Remember, I told you the doctors said you was too sick and too tiny to live? But I brought you home and fed you every hour and gave you the medicines and rocked you in my arms all day long? And you got stronger and stronger. You a fighter. You a big girl now! We showed them, didn’t we?

Yep! Nia yelled, and she began rocking from side to side as her mother tried to talk to her.

Be still, Nia, and listen!

Nia stopped rocking. Her mother had turned her head away from her. She had seen her mother do that before when she was sad about something, so sad that tears would drop from her eyes. Nia patted her mother’s chin with her hand so her mother would turn back and look at her. Her mother turned back toward her. Her eyes were glassy. Her mother closed her eyes and she opened them, and her voice was low. She held out her hand and told Nia again how she’d looked when she first came home from the hospital. Nia giggled at the image of herself lying in her mother’s arms like a doll. She was filled with warmth. She listened to the story she always loved about how precious she’d been to her mother. She heard that term again—foster mother—and this time it caught in her head and felt heavy.

I’m your mommy because I love you and I been caring for you since you was a baby, but you know, precious, I’m your foster mother. Your real mother’s family wants a chance to enjoy you too. You understanding me, baby?

Nia answered jubilantly, Yep!

Guess it’s selfish of me to want to keep you all to myself. Nia’s mother took in a sharp breath, and her belly quivered. Her mommy began crying.

Nia was not sure why her mother was crying. She hugged her mother tightly.

Oh, Mommy, don’t cry. Everything’s going to be okay. Quickly, thoughts flowed through her mind of how she could make her mommy happy. She rubbed her mother’s back with her hand as she shouted, I’m going to go to dancing class, Mommy. Her mother had been telling her about starting dance lessons and had even taken her several times to visit the studio, but Nia had refused to go inside, so her mother had brought her back home each time.

That Saturday, a few days after the social worker’s visit and on the two Saturdays that followed, the social worker took Nia to the home of a woman and left her there. She was told the woman was her grandmother. Every time she returned home after a weekend visit, Nia would have nightmares and would wake up crying. She’d tell her mother how everyone was mean to her at that house. Nia told her that one lady who everyone said was her Aunt Tina looked at her and laughed.

Aunt Tina looked strange to Nia because she had yellow hair with orange streaks in it sticking out all around her head. The hair came down all around her shoulders. Aunt Tina had huge round gold earrings hanging from her ears, and her lips were bright red. Nia had thought they were bleeding and had looked in horror at her as she was talking. Aunt Tina had turned away from her, wiggled her body, and said to a lady named Eva, She a little strange acting, ain’t she? She look terrified. I don’t know what they do to her in that foster care, and it don’t look like they feed her.

Eva had smiled and said, She okay. The foster mother she had took good care of her. It’s a wonder how messed up I was with all that stuff I was putting into my body when I was carrying her that she a normal little girl. She pretty too.

Aunt Tina had added, It’s okay to be skinny when you an adult, but little children should have some meat on their bones.

Eva, who everyone at Grandma Vern’s house told her was her mother, laughed as she said, She skinny just like me!

Nia told her mother that the lady they told her to call Grandma Vern scared her when she had said to Eva in a rough growl, You was a skinny thing all your life. You was a skinny child, and you’s a skinny grownup. You skinny now ’cause you don’t eat. You still putting them drugs into your body instead of food.

Eva, who had been sitting down, got up and pointed at Grandma Vern. You have to go there! Don’t you see my child right here? I’m eating here right now. Eva’s voice got louder. I’m eating all this food my big sis Tina cooked. You don’t see me eating now? Don’t you see this plate in my hand?

The people in Grandma Vern’s house were always fussing, Nia told her mother. And she told her that Grandma Vern would scream at her for no reason at all. Grandma Vern said that Nia acted as if someone was supposed to wait on her. She made her wash dishes and had her sweeping the kitchen floor every day. A girl they said was her cousin laughed at her and would say, You not a princess here. She took Nia’s doll, Titi, and popped her head off.

Mrs. Patterson let out a loud moan as the painful events leading to this tragic day continued to flash before her mind. She looked at the dining room table. Just yesterday, she and Nia had sat at that table. Nia had listened as she called the social worker and told how the people at the home that she’d been taking Nia to were treating her.

The social worker’s words clamored through the phone, It’s normal for Nia to reject her family, because she doesn’t know them, but given time, she’ll find things she has in common with then. I’m glad you called, because I planned to call you to let you know that the Family Court judge mandated that Nia be reunited with her family. I’ll be coming tomorrow afternoon to move her.

She had dropped the phone as her body went limp. Nia had rushed around the table and put her arms around her, hugging onto her as she kept repeating, It’s okay, Mommy. It’s okay. Don’t be afraid!

Mrs. Patterson saw a dark veil covering her. Again she felt ice clogging up her veins. It was the same feeling she had felt as she had washed and ironed Nia’s clothes the past night as she had carefully packed her suitcase. She had to fight to keep moving then. And now, as she sat in the rocking chair, staring…her body was frozen. She could not move.

Nia’s Initiation

Pulled out the front door of Grandma Vern’s house, Nia nearly fell as she stumbled down the concrete steps outside the house. Her legs were awkwardly moving to keep up with the fast pace of Grandma Vern. Nia’s arm flung through the air and knocked against a slender tree. She grabbed onto a branch of the tree as she twisted her other hand and snatched it from her grandmother’s grip. She threw that arm around the tree and held tightly onto it.

No! No! I’m not going with you! I’m not going with you! I want my mommy, Nia screamed. Fear was imprinted on her face. Her eyes were wide open and glassy, and her gaze rapidly shifted from side to side. Her cheeks were puffed and her lips were slightly parted and trembling as she struggled to breathe.

Grandma Vern quickly turned toward Nia and tried to grab her hand. But Nia held tightly onto the tree. She pressed her body into it so that the rugged surface of the tree was imprinted on her face. No! No! I’m not going with you! Then Grandma Vern yanked her arm so forcefully that her hand scraped across the tree. Blood oozed out of her hand.

Grandma Vern bent down in front of her and looked into her face. Look at me! She pushed Nia’s chin up.

Nia tried to look at her grandmother through the wetness in her eyes. Although the face in front of her looked muddy, she could see the woman’s lips moving.

Grandma Vern’s voice lowered. Whether you like it or not, you’re living with me now, and I don’t play with children. I didn’t play with my own, so I ain’t taking no foolishness from you. I have a mind to break off that branch that you were hanging onto so tightly and tear your butt up with it. That’s how I do children. Her voice was raspy. Let me see that hand! Grandma Vern stared at the hand for a moment, then opened her handbag and removed a tube of ointment and some tissues. She put some ointment on the tissues and placed them into Nia’s bleeding hand. Now hold those tissues tight, and you keep that hand in your pocket! Come on before we miss the bus. I don’t want no more trouble out of you, you hear?

Nia tried to nod her head while sniffling and trying to catch her breath.

Grandma Vern raised her voice, Do you understand me?

Yes. The word finally escaped from Nia’s lips.

Nia shivered from the cold while she stood in one spot, waiting for the bus. Her hand was aching. Even though she tried hard to stop crying, because she feared Grandma Vern would hit her, tears kept seeping out the corners of her eyes. The sharp chill in the air also caused tears to seep from her eyes. Then she thought that she was sleeping and having a bad dream. It was as if she was outside of herself, watching everything going on as she climbed the huge steps onto the bus alongside Grandma Vern. Surely her mother would wake her up any moment and rock her in her arms.

When they got off the bus, they walked and walked. To Nia, it seemed as if she would never stop walking. Finally, Grandma Vern led her into a big building and into a large room that was packed with people. Nia ran alongside her grandmother who tightly held her hand as she rushed to get a seat. A man seated next to the seat they were headed toward got up, and as her grandmother sat down, she pulled Nia into the seat the man had emptied.

Vernetta Glenn! boomed above the noise in the room.

Grandma Vern got up and grabbed Nia’s hand. They followed a lady to an office. Once in the office, Grandma Vern let go of Nia’s hand and pointed to a chair and said, Sit there!

Nia sat in the chair.

Hello, Mrs. Glenn. I’m Hazel Chapman. I’m the caseworker assigned to your case. The worker sat down in the seat behind the desk. Mrs. Glenn, you called this office saying your granddaughter is now living with you. This is your granddaughter?

Vernetta Glenn nodded.

Do you have her birth certificate?

Nia’s grandmother opened her handbag, shuffled through some papers, and pulled out an envelope, which she handed to Ms. Chapman.

Ms. Chapman opened the envelope and stared at the paper she had unfolded. When did she come to your home?

She been coming on the weekends for three weeks now.

But what day did she come to live permanently?

The social worker brought her yesterday.

I need the name of the social worker and her agency so I can verify this information.

Vernetta Glenn dug into her pocketbook again and handed Ms. Chapman a piece of paper. This here’s her information.

Are there any other changes in your household? Ms. Chapman asked.

No.

How’s your daughter doing? Is she sticking to the rehab program?

She doing just fine.

Well, maybe getting to know her daughter will help her. Ms. Chapman looked at Nia. Is she okay? Is she crying?

Yes, ma’am. She been crying since she woke up.

Nia could feel the worker staring at her, although she kept her head down and her hand in her pocket clenched around the tissues as she had been told to do.

Ms. Chapman’s voice grew soft. Hello, Nia.

Nia did not respond.

You’re not going to speak to me?

Nia remained silent.

The worker turned her focus toward Vernetta Glenn. Since your granddaughter is now residing in your home, an increase in your benefits will be reflected on your next check, and a medical card for her will be mailed to you. Is there anything else, Mrs. Glenn?

How much will the increase be? This child’s growing. She was very sick when she was born, and sometimes she’s sick now. She takes a lot of care.

You will get the welfare benefit for another child.

That ain’t enough. Why don’t I get what you give the foster parents? You give foster parents hundreds of dollars a month to take care of children. That woman who was taking care of her was getting almost a thousand dollars a month.

Ms. Chapman said, Ms. Glenn, that’s another state agency with their own criteria. You’ll have to go to them for the answers to those questions.

Silence covered the room for a few moments. Nia looked up to see the worker staring at Grandma Vern. Then the worker spoke. Mrs. Glenn, this is York County Social Services. Your grant is based on the number of dependents in your home. If you get foster care money, Nia will come off your welfare grant. Were you told you would be getting money for foster care services for Nia?

No.

Did they tell you to come here for help?

Yes, the lady told me Nia would make my amount increase.

I’m not real knowledgeable about the child welfare foster care programs, but it sounds to me that they did not consider you as a foster parent or they wouldn’t have referred you to this office. I suggest you check with the child welfare social worker who told you to come here.

Well, I took her in because I thought I could get that kind of assistance like the foster parents get. She got all kind of problems. She got emotional problems. Look at her. She cry all the time.

She is your grandchild. Do you want me to hold off on your application until you find out whether you can get foster parent assistance?

No! No! Leave that be. Grandma Vern got up and grabbed Nia’s hand. Nia’s other hand swung out of her pocket, and the bloodied tissues fell on the floor.

The social worker looked shocked. What’s wrong with her hand?

Got it scratched up playing round a tree.

As they walked out of the welfare office, Vernetta Glenn squeezed Nia’s hand till it hurt as she mumbled to herself, They tell me one thing, then they say something else. I should have known not to trust these lying— She didn’t finish her sentence, but Nia knew she meant something bad.

Nia stopped walking. She saw a car that looked like her mother’s car. Vernetta Glenn quickly stooped down in front of her and said, Do you think I have time for your foolishness? I’m your Grandma Vern. You keep up with me when I’m walking.

As they walked, Grandma Vern continued to mumble complaints directed at the welfare caseworker. They stopped suddenly where there was a group of people standing, and they waited along with them for the bus. After boarding the bus, Nia sat in a small space next to her grandmother. Her heart raced as she stared expectantly at people getting onto the bus who seemed to be the size and complexion of her mother. But as each person headed toward the back of the bus, she’d see that that person wasn’t her mother. Neither Nia nor her grandmother could stop Nia’s tears as she rode the bus back to her grandmother’s house.

Grandma Vern’s House

At Grandma Vern’s house, Nia wasn’t allowed to say anything about the only mother she’d known, Mrs. Patterson. Twice she got smacked when she asked her grandmother if she could go to her mommy.

No! her grandmother snapped. Eva will come by when she can.

No! Nia snapped right back. I want to see my real mommy. I want my mommy!

Her grandmother hit her again and said, Your real mommy is Eva. Go to your room and stay there until I tell you when to come out.

Nia went to the room and got into the bed she had slept in the night before. The room that was now her room was depressing. It had dirty white walls. Clothes and broken toys lay all over the floor. There were two other beds in the room. Tiffany, who she was told was her cousin, slept in one of the beds. She was told that Tyron, another cousin whom she hadn’t met yet, slept in the other bed. There was one dresser that had a drawer missing.

She thought about her home where she had her own room with pink walls with faces of rabbits, turtles, baby chicks, and other animals that her mother had painted on the walls, because her mother was artistic. Nia and her mother loved animals. Since she was very young, she used to look at pictures of animals in storybooks that her mother would read to her.

When she got excited about a particular animal, like a giraffe because of its long neck and spotted body, next thing she knew, her mother would get up and go to the closet next to the stairs. She’d pull out brightly colored paint cans and brushes, and they’d head upstairs. Nia smiled as she remembered how she’d sit on the floor and watch her mommy move her arm back and forth, splashing paint onto the wall until she’d see the animal coming right out of the wall! That huge giraffe was overlooking her bed, smiling down at her.

All the animals her mother drew on her walls had smiles on their faces. And there were all sorts of stuffed animals in her room. Her favorite was Barney Bear who was just about as big as she was. He sat on the floor next to her bed. Even the curtains in her room had animals printed on them.

Nia lay on the bed with her face to the wall, rocking back and forth as she whispered, Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

Tiffany heard her and laughed at her. She then ran out the room, loudly repeating, Mommy, mommy, mommy. She’s calling her mommy.

A boy’s voice overpowered Tiffany’s. You my new cousin? Yeah, you my new cousin, ’cause you in the new bed. My name is Tyron.

Nia stopped rocking.

Why you calling your mommy? I had another mommy too. Look…look…look… Tyron said excitedly.

Nia turned toward him. Tyron had his shirt lifted up, and she saw a strange black drawing.

I got a tattoo! My real mommy did this. That’s why they took me and Tiffany away from her. They said my mommy was bad for doing this, so they gave us another mommy. When we’d come to see Grandma, she didn’t like us calling our foster mommy ‘mommy’ either. She’d shout, ‘Your mommy’s Tina!’ Then Grandma Vern came and got us and brought us here with her. Don’t be sad. Grandma’s not so mean. Tomorrow, my real mommy’s coming. My mommy can cook real good. Come here. I want to show you something. He patted her arm.

Nia got off the bed.

Can you read? Tyron asked as he sat on the floor and picked up a book that was on the floor. He tugged at her pants and said, Come on. Sit down.

Nia sat next to him on the floor and stared at the picture in the book.

That there’s a dog. A big smile spread across Tyron’s face, and his eyes glittered. I’m gonna have a dog one day. Mommy says when she gets a house, I’m gonna move with her, and we’re going to have a big dog. You like dogs?

Nia nodded.

Then you can come and live with us too.

Nia’s eyes shifted and stared ahead, yet she was not seeing anything. Then a tear sat in the corner of her eye. Her focus suddenly shifted back to Tyron because of the excitement in his voice. Look! Look! Look! You see that big elephant? I want to ride on an elephant’s back one day. Do you?

Nia looked at the elephant and nodded. She felt as if she was in a strange place with a little boy who kept pulling her to go with him. He was a nice, friendly boy, and she let him lead her. They sat, looking at the pictures as Tyron turned the pages and explained each picture. He turned to her. How old are you?

Six years old, Nia responded.

Tyron smiled and said, I’m older than you. I’m seven years old. So I’m your big brother-cousin, right?

The door swung open. Grandma Vern held the doorknob as she looked down at them. You kids put down that book and come on and eat your lunch.

Nia began to cry.

What you crying for now? Shut up that crying, Grandma Vern roughly commanded.

Nia tried to stop, but she had a hard time catching her breath.

Wash your hands first, her grandmother ordered as she left the room.

Tyron looked at her. Why you crying? You scared of Grandma? Don’t be scared. She won’t bother you if you don’t do nothing wrong. Come on. Tyron struggled to lift Nia up from her seated position on the floor. When Nia stood up, she wiped her nose and eyes with her arms. Tyron took her hand, and they went to the bathroom. Tyron turned on the water and they both held their hands over the sink.

Tyron giggled. You can’t just hold your hands out. You have to rub them like this.

Nia stared at his hands as he quickly moved them back and forth. Then Tyron took her hands, rubbed the soap bar against them, and instructed her, Move your hands.

Nia rubbed her hands, feeling very strange and sad. Her mother had always been around her when she was washing her hands.

Tyron turned around in the small bathroom and began wiping his hands on a towel that hung from a rack. Now pat your hands dry. I see I’m gonna have to teach you everything. Tyron shook his head. You don’t know nothing. Why they didn’t teach you when you was here before? I would have taught you if I was here. He smiled widely. But I’ll teach you now, ’cause you my new cousin.

Nia followed Tryon into the kitchen. The scent of toast and the sight of tomato soup reminded her of home, and for a moment, she felt warmth flow through her. They walked toward the table and sat down. Normally, Grandma Vern’s cooking was so different from her mother’s. Grandma Vern mostly gave them cereal out of boxes for breakfast, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, and mostly beans and franks or hamburgers for dinner. Lots of times, she opened things from cans and put them into a pot to warm up. She’d spoon food out of the pots into their plates. There had been a few things Grandma Vern cooked that Nia liked, but she could never get a second helping of what she liked. Grandma Vern didn’t believe in second helpings.

Nia looked at Tyron’s plate after she had finished her food. You want my toast? he asked. Nia continued to stare at his toast. He put his toast on her plate. You want some of my soup?

Nia nodded. Tyron put his plate by hers and was beginning to spoon soup into her bowl when Grandma Vern’s arm suddenly appeared between them. She shifted Tyron’s bowl back in front of him. You eat your own food. She had the same amount you had!

Nia began to cry.

Her grandmother snapped at her, Shut up and finish eating your food!

Nia stared at the toast until Grandma Vern left the kitchen. Then she slowly ate the piece of toast.

Nia hurried to her room when she finished eating. She wanted to get back into bed and go to sleep. Everything was strange to her now. She felt as if she was in an unending nightmare. She wanted to sleep, because when she was asleep, she would dream about her mother. When she got into the bed, she rocked back and forth and whispered, Mommy, Mommy. Where are you, Mommy? I been looking all over for you! I love you, Mommy. I want to be with you in our rocking chair, hugging you, Mommy. I’m your baby. I’m your strong little girl. I’ll go to the dance school. I’ll be good. I’ll listen to you, Mommy. I promise.

Tiffany’s voice overpowered her thoughts. Nia turned away from the wall and sat up, her legs dangling with her toes barely touching the floor. Nia watched Tiffany jump onto her own bed and begin playing with her dolls. Suddenly, she began screaming at her dolls. The two dolls she had in her hands began fighting each other. Then Tiffany threw both dolls down onto the floor, barely missing Tyron who was sitting on the floor, reading.

Tiffany moved off her bed and tiptoed around the room. She twisted her hips and tossed her head back and forth, which made her long braids swing from side to side.

Nia stared at her. Tiffany turned toward Nia and nearly closed her eyes as she glared at her. What you looking at?

Nia dropped her eyes and stared at the floor. As she sternly looked at Nia, Tiffany pointed her finger at papers on the floor. Pick up those papers and throw them in the trash.

Quickly, Nia moved to where the papers were and picked them up and put them in the short trash basket in the room. Then Tiffany said, Get back over there and make up your bed. Nia went to her bed and began fixing the covers.

Tyron looked up from his book and said to Nia, You don’t have to listen to her. She’s not your mother!

You shut up before I kick your butt! Tiffany quickly returned.

Ooh, I’m telling, Tyron shouted. "Grandma said you not supposed to say