FROM HERE I AM: A biography of a post-world War II woman trying to find her place in this world

By EVA WAGNER

The writing debut of a Polish author living abroad. The reader finds himself in the early 1950-ties in Communist Poland and challenges of leading a very different life after World War II. There is still very little to eat and being Jewish not something you want to disclose.

• Language: English
• Publisher: New Homeland Publishing
• Release date: Jan 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9780995432543

EVA WAGNER

Eva Wagner, 1948 born in Gdynia (Poland), educated in Vienna (Austria) lives in Melbourne (Australia). She had followed the family tradition to document her life experiences for the next generations. Being a child of a Holocaust survivor has given her confidence and strength to go through life almost entirely ALONE.

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PART 1: Poland – my homeland

Poland Is Not Yet Lost, is the national anthem of Poland; Jeszcze Polska nie zginęła

Poland is not yet lost

So long as we still live.

What the alien force has taken from us,

We shall retrieve with a sabre.

March, march, Dąbrowski,

From the Italian land to Poland.

Under your command

We shall re-join the nation.

We’ll cross the Vistula, we’ll cross the Warta,

We shall be Polish.

Jeszcze Polska nie zginela

Kiedy my żyjemy.

Co nam obca moc wydarła,

Szablą odbijemy.

Do Polski z ziemi włoski.

Za twoim przewodem

Złączym się z narodem.

Przejdziem Wisłę, przejdziem Wartę,

Będziemy Polakami.

Chapter 1: First memories in Post-World War II – Poland

Eva and her father, Józef Wagner were in bed fully covered under his feather quilt, ensuring that no sound would be heard when they were listening to the radio.

Mówi Radio Wolna Europa—Głos Wolnej Polski"—this is Radio of Free Europe (RFE)—the voice of Free Poland. Józef gestured to her to keep very quiet! They were hoping to listen to the news without interruption.

Unlike government censored programs, RFE publicised anti-Soviet protests and nationalist movements. Communist governments attempted to prevent information broadcast by RFE from reaching listeners in their countries. They routinely jammed the radio signal or created interference by broadcasting noise over the same frequency. In fact, the Soviet government turned its efforts towards blocking reception of Western programs. To limit access to foreign broadcasts, the Central Committee decreed that factories should remove all components allowing short wave reception from USSR made radio receivers. However, consumers easily found the necessary spare parts were available on the black market while electronics engineers, opposing the idea, would gladly convert radios back to being able to receive short wave transmissions. As far as little Eva was concerned, her parents hammered into her that secrecy was most important in the post-war years in Poland. She was only seven years old knowing to never talk about anything they discussed at home. The danger of being arrested and thrown into jail was far too great. Looking back, to be confronted by such serious issues at a very young age only made her grow up very quickly out of necessity and not by any choice of her parents. What she didn’t understand then was that even though Poland ended the war on the winning side and was re-established as a state, it fell under the influence of the Soviet Union. It was forced to adopt communism as its political system and a satellite government, and was strongly dependant on its sponsors in Moscow.

During the German occupation Poles were forbidden, under penalty of death, to own radios. The press was reduced from over 2000 publications to a few dozen, all censored by the Germans. All pre-war newspapers were closed, and the few that were published were new creations under the total control of the Germans. Such a thorough destruction of the press was unprecedented in contemporary history. The only officially available reading matter was the propaganda press that was disseminated by the German occupation administration.

Cinemas, now under the control of the German propaganda machine, saw their programming dominated by Nazi German movies, which were preceded by propaganda newsreels. The few Polish films permitted to be shown (about 20% of the total programming) were edited to eliminate references to Polish national symbols as well as Jewish actors and producers. Several propaganda films were shot in Polish, although no Polish films were shown after 1943. As all profits from Polish cinemas were officially directed toward German war production, attendance was discouraged by the Polish underground. A famous underground slogan declared: "Tylko świnie siedzą w kinie (Only pigs sit in the movies").

What Eva’s father feared most was The Ministry of Public Security of Poland (Polish: Ministerstwo Bezpieczeństwa Publicznego or MBP) was a post-war communist, secret police, intelligence and counter-espionage service operating from 1945 to 1954. MPB remained known mainly through its own regional offices called Urząd Bezpieczeństwa Publicznego or UBP (Office of Public Security, official name); and Urząd Bezpieczeństwa or simply UB.

In 1953, there was one MBP (or UB) officer for every 800 Polish citizens! You never knew when you spoke to a stranger if he wasn’t one of them! Somehow Eva understood her parents’ fear despite being such a young child. Józef had every right to live in fear as one day they did catch up with him.

At the insistence of Joseph Stalin, the Yalta Conference sanctioned the formation of a new provisional pro-communist coalition government in Moscow. The Polish government-in-exile based in London was totally ignored. Many Poles considered it a betrayal by the Allies.

In 1944, Stalin had made guarantees to Churchill and Roosevelt that he would maintain Poland’s sovereignty and allow democratic elections to take place. However, upon achieving victory in 1945, the elections organised by the occupying Soviet authorities were falsified and used to provide a veneer of legitimacy; for Soviet hegemony over Polish affairs. The Soviet Union instituted a new communist government in Poland, analogous to much of the rest of the Eastern Bloc. As elsewhere in Communist Europe, the Soviet occupation of Poland met with armed resistance from the outset which continued into the 50s. Despite widespread objections, the new Polish government accepted the Soviet annexation of the pre-war eastern regions of Poland (in particular the cities of Wilno and Lwów) and agreed to the permanent garrisoning of Red Army units on Poland’s territory. Military alignment within the Warsaw Pact throughout the Cold War came about as a direct result of this change in Poland’s political culture. This way occurred the full-fledged integration of Poland into the brotherhood of communist nations.

The People ‘Republic of Poland (Polska Rzeczpospolita Ludowa) was officially proclaimed in 1952. In 1956, after the death of Bolesław Bierut, the regime of Władysław Gomułka became temporarily more liberal, freeing many people from prison and expanding some personal freedoms.

There’s really nothing quite so sweet as tiny little baby feet

Eva’s arrival late in May 1948 was greeted with enormous joy and relief as she was very keen to be born within an hour. Her poor parents lost a child the year before. A son, Rysiu, perfectly born but died after two months from pneumonia due to lack of antibiotics. This was the second child for her mother Johanna that had died during and post- World War II due to lack of available medicines.

They were living in Gdynia at the time. A city in the Pomeranian Voivodeship of Poland and a seaport of Gdańsk Bay on the south coast of the Baltic Sea. Gdynia with the spa town of Sopot, and together with the city of Gdańsk form a metropolitan area called the Tri-city (Trójmiasto) with a population of over a million people to this day. For centuries, Gdynia remained a small agricultural and fishing village on the Baltic coast. At the beginning of the 20th century Gdynia became a seaside resort town and experienced an inflow of tourists.

The rapid development of Gdynia was interrupted by the outbreak of World War II. Although the German troops refrained from deliberate bombing, the newly built port and shipyard were completely destroyed. The population of the city suffered much heavier losses as most of the inhabitants were evicted and expelled. The locals were either displaced to other regions of occupied Poland or sent to Nazi concentration camps throughout Europe. After the war, Gdynia was settled with the former inhabitants of Warsaw and lost cities such as Lvov (the birthplace of Eva’s father) and Vilnius in the Eastern Borderlands. The city was gradually regenerating itself with its shipyard rebuilt and expanded. In December 1970, the shipyard workers protest against the increase of prices was bloodily repressed. This greatly contributed to the rise of the Solidarity movement in Gdańsk.

Eva’s parents were renting one room in a comfortable, modern apartment from a woman called Zosia who had three children. Having just moved to a new town Johanna now twenty-five years old knew nobody there and was desperate for someone to talk to. Zosia was a wonderful friend to Johanna, who was weak and still very depressed. Józef made his living by playing Poker which contributed greatly to her anxiety and worries about their future. They had only just moved there to escape from the creditors chasing them!

In his defence, Józef provided for the family any way he could and they weren’t starving or homeless. He was never a good student leaving school at fourteen after it was discovered that he was constantly wagging classes by only pretending to go there each day. He had no other formal education and you have to admire how he managed to get through life by never being afraid of hard work in whatever he tried his hand.

His parents and grandparents lived in small shtetls in the Ukraine. Shtetlekh (Yiddish: shtetl) were small towns with large Jewish populations, which existed in Central and Eastern Europe before the Holocaust. Shtetlekh were mainly found in the areas that constituted the 19th century Pale of Settlement in the Russian Empire, the Congress Kingdom of Poland, Galicia (Ukraine) and Romania. In Yiddish, a larger city, like Lviv or Chernivtsi, was called a shtot (German: Stadt); a village was called a dorf. In the official language the shtetl was referred to as (in Jewish and Polish) as a miasteczko.

By the sweat of your brow, shall you eat bread

The differences between the village Jews in the Jewish communities (Shtetls) of Ukraine and the city residents were great. The village Jew in their coarse and simple garments, with primitive customs and lack of culture, often served as a target for sarcastic darts thrown by the city Jew, who emphasised their superiority at every available opportunity. However, these Jews were bound with every fibre of their being to the collective Jewish nation. They rejoiced in community happiness, and were the first to suffer when a troublesome time came. Since most business was in the hands of the Jews, all the landowners needed Jews. Many Jews thus succeeded in winning the trust of the Polish landowners and were involved in their daily business dealings. Many Jews took supervisory jobs. With the passage of time, many plots of land were transferred to wealthy Jews, and the class of Jewish landowners rose. Most of these lived in the village, in an estate that was in the courtyard of the farm.

Eva’s father Józef (she called him Tatuś) was born in Borysław, a small town in Galicja, where during the mid-19th and early 20th centuries significant oil reserves were discovered nearby. Often called the Polish Baku, the oil fields of Borysław and nearby Truskanowice accounted for over 90% of the national oil output of the Austria-Hungary Empire. Galicja was the Central Powers’ only major domestic source of oil during the Great War (1914 – 1918). Germany, Hungary, Turkey and Bulgaria belonged to the Central Powers, hence, also known as the Quadruple Alliance (German: Vierbund).

Both Eva’s Austrian and Polish grandparents and great grandparents owned oil refineries there. Her maternal grandparents have been described as intellectual and economic upper bourgeoisie (Polish Intelligentsia) in contrast to the Kleinbürgertum (petite bourgeoisie) of Józef ’s predecessors. They were highly educated physicians and lawyers. Everybody lost everything when being deported in 1939.

As the occupation regime was being established, the Nazis confiscated Polish and Austrian state property and much private property. Countless art objects were looted and taken to Germany, in line with a plan that had been drawn up well in advance of the invasion. The looting was supervised by experts of the Einsatzgruppen units, who were responsible for art, and by the experts of Haupttreuhandstelle Ost, who were responsible for more mundane objects.

Notable items plundered by the Nazis included the Altar of Veit Stoss and paintings by Raphael, Rembrandt, Leonardo da Vinci, Canaletto and Bacciarelli. Most of the important art pieces had been secured by the Nazis within six months of September 1939. By the end of 1942, German officials estimated that over 90% of the art previously in Poland was in their possession.

Some art was shipped to German museums, such as the planned Führer museum in Linz, while other art became the private property of Nazi officials. Over 516,000 individual art pieces were taken including 2,800 paintings by European painters; 11,000 works by Polish painters; 1,400 sculptures; 75,000 manuscripts; 25,000 maps and 90,000 books (including over 20,000 printed before 1800). As well as hundreds of thousands of other objects of artistic and historic value.

In their part of occupied Poland, the Nazis began the Second World War (1939 – 45) with the extermination of the Polish intelligentsia, by way of the military operations of the Special Prosecution Book-Poland, the German AB-Action in Poland, the Intelligenzaktion, and the Intelligenzaktion Pommern. In their part of occupied Poland, the Soviet Union proceeded with the extermination of the Polish intelligentsia with operations such as the Katyn massacre (1940), during which university professors, physicians, lawyers, engineers, teachers, writers and journalists were murdered.

Polish culture during World War II was suppressed by the occupying powers of Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union, both of which were hostile to Poland’s people and cultural heritage. Policies aimed at cultural genocide resulted in the deaths of thousands of scholars and artists, and the theft and destruction of innumerable cultural artefacts. The maltreatment of the Poles was one of many ways in which the Nazi and Soviet regimes had grown to resemble one another, wrote British historian Niall Ferguson.

Much of the German policy on Polish culture was formulated during a meeting between the governor of the General Government, Hans Frank, and Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels, at Łódź on October 31, 1939.

Goebbels declared that the Polish nation is not worthy to be called a cultured nation.

He and Frank agreed that opportunities for the Poles to experience their culture should be severely restricted: no theatres, cinemas or cabarets; no access to radio or press; and no education. Frank suggested that the Poles should periodically be shown films highlighting the achievements of the Third Reich and should eventually be addressed only by megaphone. During the following weeks, Polish schools beyond middle vocational levels were closed, as were theatres and many other cultural institutions. The only Polish-language newspaper published in occupied Poland was also closed, and the arrests of Polish intellectuals began.

In 1941, German policy evolved further, calling for the complete destruction of the Polish people, whom the Nazis regarded as sub-humans (Untermenschen). Within ten to twenty years, the Polish territories under German occupation were to be entirely cleared of ethnic Poles and settled by German colonists. The policy was relaxed somewhat in the final years of occupation (1943 – 44), in view of German military defeats and the approaching Eastern Front. The Germans hoped that a more lenient cultural policy would lessen unrest and weaken the Polish Resistance. Poles were allowed back into those museums that now supported German propaganda and indoctrination, such as the newly created Chopin Museum, which emphasised the composer’s invented German roots. Restrictions on education, theatre and music performances were eased.

Nevertheless, underground organisations and individuals—in particular the Polish Underground State—saved much of Poland’s most valuable cultural treasures, and worked to salvage as many cultural institutions and artefacts as possible. The Catholic Church and wealthy individuals contributed to the survival of some artists and their works. Despite severe retribution by the Nazis and Soviets, Polish underground cultural activities, including publications, concerts, live theatre, education and academic research continued throughout the war.

Eva’s ancestors came from the historical region of eastern Galicia, some from the city called Lviv by the Ukrainians, Lwów by the Poles, and Lemberg by the Austrians.

Before the war Lviv had the third-largest Jewish population in Poland, which swelled further to over 200,000 Jews as war refugees entered the city.

Immediately after the Germans entered the city, Einsatzgruppen and civil collaborators organised a massive pogrom.

The Lwów Ghetto was established after the pogroms, holding around 120,000 Jews, most of whom were deported to the Belzec extermination camp or killed locally during the following two years.

Following the pogroms, Einsatzgruppen killings, harsh conditions in the ghetto, and deportation to the death camps, including the Janowska labour camp located on the outskirts of the city, resulted in the almost complete annihilation of the Jewish population. By the time the Soviet forces reached the town in 1944, only 200 – 300 Jews remained.

Nazi Germany invaded Poland on September 1, 1939 and the German 1st Mountain Division reached the suburbs of Lviv on September 12 and began a siege. Soviet troops (part of the forces which had invaded on September 17 under the Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact) replaced the Germans around the city.

The Soviet and Nazi forces divided Poland between themselves and a rigged plebiscite absorbed the Soviet-occupied eastern half of Poland, including Lviv, into the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic. Initially, the Jewish and part of the Ukrainian population who lived in the interwar Poland cheered the Soviet takeover whose stated goal was to protect the Ukrainian population in the area. Depolonisation combined with large scale anti-Polish actions began immediately, with huge numbers of Poles and Jews from Lviv deported eastward into the Soviet Union. About 30 thousand were deported in the beginning of 1940 alone. A smaller percentage of the Ukrainian population was deported as well.

Initially, a great part of the Ukrainian population considered the German troops as liberators after the two years of genocidal Soviet regime, similarly to many Jewish and Ukrainian inhabitants who had earlier welcomed the Soviets as their liberators from the rule of bourgeois Poland. The Ukrainian minority initially associated Germans with the previous Austrian times, happier for Ukrainians in comparison to the later Polish and especially Soviet periods. However, already since the beginning of the German occupation of the city, the situation of the city’s Jewish inhabitants became tragic. After being subject to deadly pogroms, the Jewish inhabitants of the area were rushed into a newly created ghetto and then mostly sent to various German concentration camps. The Polish and smaller Ukrainian populations of the city were also subject to harsh policies, which resulted in a number of mass executions both in the city and in the Janowska camp. Among the first to be murdered were the professors of the city’s universities and other members of Polish elite (intelligentsia).

Simon Wiesenthal (later known as a Nazi-hunter) was one of the most notable Jews of Lviv to survive the war, though he was transported to a concentration camp. Many city residents tried to assist and hide the Jews hunted by the Nazis (despite the death penalty imposed for such acts), like for example Leopold Socha, whose story was told in the 2011 film In Darkness. He helped two Jewish families to survive in the sewers, where they were hiding after liquidation of the ghetto. Wiesenthal’s memoir, The Murderers Amongst Us, describes how he was saved by a Ukrainian policeman named Bodnar. The Lvivans hid thousands of Jews; many of them were later recognised as Righteous Gentiles.

In Drohobycz, as in several other places, a few risked their lives to hide and provide for Jews. Eberhard Helmrich, was a German resistance fighter against National Socialism, an officer in the Wehrmacht and in charge of supplying food to the German army in the area. He was also in charge of the Hyrawka farm employing Eva’s Aunt Susi and other Jews from the Drohobycz ghetto. Helmrich protected some of his employees during the actions by hiding them in his house and was able to gain release for others who were imprisoned by declaring them essential. As a Wehrmacht officer in occupied Galicia, he provided Jewish hospital patients with food and saved, together with his wife Donata Helmrich, the lives of many Jewish persecutes. He was honoured with the Federal Cross of Merit and as a Righteous Among the Nations.

Dam radę i iść dalej (I can do it! and keep going)

When Poland was partitioned—between Germany and the Soviet Union—Eva’s father Józef joined the Russian Army never carrying a gun but as a paramedic. It was a very smart move as he avoided becoming a prisoner deported to a concentration camp with his parents and both sisters, Klara and Nusia. He was planning to rescue his family at the first opportunity. The details are very sketchy about how he located them after many months checking so many concentration camps. They were housed in a place called Majdanek.

Majdanek: barracks

Majdanek: barracks, Row of barracks at the Majdanek concentration camp, Lublin, Poland.

Majdanek was a German concentration and extermination camp built and operated by the SS on the outskirts of the city of Lublin during the German occupation of Poland in World War II.

Although initially purposed for forced labour rather than extermination, the camp was used to kill people on an industrial scale, the German plan was to murder all Jews within their own General Government territory of Poland. The camp operated from October 1, 1941 until July 22, 1944. The rapid advance of the Soviet Red Army prevented the SS from destroying most of its infrastructure, and the inept Deputy Camp Commandant, Anton Thernes, failed in his task of removing incriminating evidence of war crimes. Therefore, Majdanek became the first concentration camp discovered by Allied forces.

Also known to the SS as Konzentrationslager (KL) Lublin, Majdanek remains the best-preserved Nazi concentration camp of the Holocaust.

Unlike other similar camps in Nazi-occupied Poland, Majdanek was not in a remote rural location away from population centres but within the boundaries of a major city in Lublin.

Can you imagine the relief Józef felt when stationed at Lublin he discovered his parents nearby in Majdanek? Knowing where they were was just the beginning but trying to get them out would take huge risks for all concerns.

Living a Nightmare at Majdanek

Most prisoners were brought to Majdanek either in trucks or freight trains in tightly closed, crowded cattle cars deprived of any sanitary facilities, and without food and water. The newly arrived were unloaded in the vicinity of the Lublin railway station not far from the camp. The SS-men, shouting and cursing pushed and beat the prisoners descending from the train, then arranged them in fives, and marched the column to the camp. The SS-men and military police were equipped with machine guns, some of the guards were holding dogs on leashes. The dogs barked furiously, baring their teeth at the prisoners. These were specially trained dogs. If a prisoner dropped out of the column even three steps, they immediately jumped at the victim and the military police terrorised the column by shouting and beating. Upon arrival everyone was stripped naked, all their possessions removed—whatever the season of the year or weather conditions—they were rushed, with shouting and beatings to the nearby bathhouse. They first underwent disinfection by submerging in concrete tubs filled with a Lysol solution. After such a purification, the prisoners were issued with rags to replace the clothes worn previously. This process was done in most camps and has been well documented.

For breakfast, a prisoner received about half a litre of black ersatz (substitute) coffee without sugar, or tea brewed from weeds. Once or twice a week coffee or tea was replaced with a soup substitute, water with bread added. Lunch consisted of a litre of soup made of turnips, potatoes, dried cabbage leaves and weeds growing wild within the camp. Sometimes small amounts of fat, meat or horse sausage were added.

Dinner time, the basic meal, was served after evening roll call. It consisted mostly of coffee or another watery soup and a few ounces of bread and a few un-peeled potatoes. On occasion, the prisoners received as an addition to the bread, a slice of horse sausage, a spoonful of marmalade, margarine or cheese. The prisoners became quite emaciated on these small food rations.

In the Majdanek concentration camp whipping by SS-men was the most frequently applied punishment. Prisoners were whipped until they lost consciousness for minor offences. Whipping was inflicted on both healthy, sick and even dying prisoners. A prisoner was often whipped because he was Jewish.

These facts were known to the population and Józef needed to find a solution to organise an escape. He was fully aware that if found out, he and his family would be killed on the spot. In those times you used either