Bust Your BUTS: Tips for Teens Who Procrastinate

By Joanne Foster

This book is for teens who can’t stop procrastinating. There are hundreds of tips in this book to help them get rid of some “buts” that are common to procrastinators: I have too much to do, I don’t feel well, I might do badly, I’m confused, I get distracted, I’d rather do something else instead, and other peop

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gifted Unlimited, LLC
• Release date: Sep 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9781733775816

Joanne Foster

Joanne Foster teaches educational psychology courses at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education of the University of Toronto. Dr. Foster contributes to the journal Parenting for High Potential. She’s also the author of Not Now, Maybe Later: Helping Children Overcome Procrastination. Visit the website at beyondintelligence.net

Book preview

Introduction

This book is for TEENS!

Here’s why…And, here’s how to use this book to your advantage

You picked up this book because for some reason it interested you. (Or maybe someone else convinced you to have a look at it.) You may have procrastinated in getting to this page, but here you are—which means you’re already on the way to busting your BUTS—also known as avoidance tendencies. Bravo!

Now what?

The first thing you should know is that reading this book will help you to help yourself. All the points are straightforward, and they relate to the BUTS that people use as reasons for procrastinating. I wrote this book to inform and inspire procrastinators. I don’t lecture, criticize, ramble on endlessly, dumb-down material, or judge anybody in the process.

I simply believe that you can take control of your actions and attitudes, and you can choose if you want to change them. You can learn to understand your feelings, and improve your skills. You can even alter your circumstances. You can do all these things, and more. And yes, the word you appears in this paragraph a lot—because at the end of the day you are responsible for what happens in your life, including what gets done, and what doesn’t get done.

However, the second thing you should know is that everybody procrastinates. There are plenty of legitimate reasons why (and we’ll get to that later) but the truth is that many people put things off. Okay, so some people put things off more often than others—but I’m sure they have their reasons. In fact, because procrastination is so widespread, I wrote Not Now, Maybe Later (for parents of kids who procrastinate), and also Bust Your BUTS so kids and young adults can take ownership of their procrastination, and actually do something about it themselves.

I offer hundreds of tips within these pages. And, they work. That’s because I consulted professionals (doctors, educators, researchers, and psychologists), and I also gathered loads of information based on the real-life experiences of children, teens, parents, teachers, and countless others. I collected interesting quotes, too. I pulled all of that material together, and concentrated on the most important pieces. Then, and only then, I wrote this very focused book—for procrastinators like you. And, if friends, teachers, parents, or others read it, I suspect they’ll learn something, too. I hope you’ll share this book with them. As I mentioned before, everybody procrastinates.

The third thing you should know is that I’ve organized Bust Your BUTS sensibly to make it easier for you to figure out the reasons why you procrastinate, and then to take practical steps to manage the procrastination. You can jump around the different sections of the book, or you can also go page-by-page-by-page from the beginning to the end, but you don’t have to do that unless you want to.

I offer ideas to help you prevent and eliminate procrastination because it can be problematic. For example, procrastination can cause a substantial amount of unhappiness, stress, conflict, and even exasperation. It can affect your achievement at school or on a job, short-circuit your hopes and dreams, interfere with your relationships with other people, and compromise your productivity.

On the other hand, there may also be a plus side to procrastinating. It can allow you more time to plan things out carefully and to pay attention to detail. Perhaps you see procrastinating as a means to an end—so you can acquire resources, or spend quality time with family and friends, or do something you really enjoy doing. In fact, many people see procrastination as a kind of door leading to greater creativity; an opportunity to think, and let ideas bubble along. Depending on how you view it, there is a potential upside, as well as a downside to procrastination.

If you look at the Table of Contents, you will see many different reasons why people procrastinate. Think about which ones might apply to you. When you flip to those pages, you will get a sense of what underlies the reasons, and then you can poke through the specific suggestions for dealing with your own procrastination. Consider which tips you might like to try right away, and which ones you might want to (ahem) put off till later…

Take it one step at a time. You already took the first one when you chose to open the introductory pages of this book!

Joanne Foster, Ed.D.

2017

The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

~ William Faulkner (author)

CHAPTER 1

About Procrastination

"You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it.

You have to go down the chute."

~ Tina Fey (author, actor, comedian)

What is procrastination?

Procrastination involves putting things off. It’s intentional. In other words, it’s something that someone does willfully or on purpose, for a reason. And, there are many possible reasons (as you can see from the Table of Contents).

How do procrastinators procrastinate? Some may be slow to start a task, or they may be reluctant to finish it. Others may put things off in certain areas of their life, but be quick to do everything else. People may procrastinate at certain times of day, or year, or when they’re hungry, tired, angry, or sad. They may procrastinate in a waterpark (as in the quote above), or in the kitchen, gym, or classroom. Sometimes they may be able to say why they’re procrastinating, but they may also have difficulty figuring it out or explaining it. Procrastinators may think that their behavior doesn’t really have an impact on anybody else, or they may realize that their procrastination does affect others but they aren’t sure what to do about it.

So many factors and implications to consider!

Many people think procrastinators are lazy and disrespectful. And some are. For example, let’s say you’re part of a group working on a school project. If you don’t do your part when you’re supposed to, and your group misses the due date, then that could cause others to think you’re lazy or you’re disrespectful of their needs and feelings. However, if you don’t do your part because of health issues, or because you’re confused, or because you don’t have the necessary materials, then laziness and disrespect may have nothing to do with it. It’s easy for people to jump to conclusions about procrastinators, but the truth is that everyone is different, and so are the reasons for their behaviors and attitudes.

Just so you know, procrastination comes from the Latin word procrastinare. Pro has to do with forward motion. Crastinus has to do with tomorrow. When these two word segments are placed together, the meaning has to do with putting things forward until another day. But…let’s get real. Sometimes people don’t get things started, and the result is that they don’t get it done at all, let alone tomorrow. Does that sound familiar?

Sometimes procrastinators find something else to do instead, and in their heads they’re thinking, "I’m doing something! So, I’m not really procrastinating." But…they are. Substituting one activity for another means that one is being postponed till tomorrow, or maybe the day after that.

Being able to plan, start, and ultimately finish a task may involve a lot of steps. But…it’s a process. And, this process can easily become derailed at any point along the way—at the beginning, middle, or end. That’s because people’s daily lives have become increasingly hectic.

Procrastination can happen repeatedly, and for long or short intervals, depending on the reasons for it. There are many influences out there, too, such as people or things that sway or convince us to behave in ways we might not otherwise consider. Plus, there are distractions ranging from food to fun that tempt us to procrastinate. Moreover, we experience different feelings over the course of time, and these can also affect how or whether we put things off.

Clearly, procrastination is complex, and that’s why it’s not just a matter of saying, "I’m going to stop procrastinating!" and then you will, and that’ll be the end of it. It’s not that simple. Certainly, procrastinators need to decide to change and to have encouragement, but they also need good strategies, and an understanding of what’s causing their procrastination in the first place. Procrastinators also have to get past the guilt of procrastinating so they can focus instead on how to become more productive. They may need help developing a forward motion plan that has a greater emphasis on now rather than on tomorrow—or the tomorrows after that.

Is procrastination bad and are there ways around it, or are you forever doomed?

"Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement.

One fails forward toward success."

~ C. S. Lewis (author)

The word doomed implies hopelessness, or being destined for failure. Let’s look at the likelihood of that in relation to putting things off. Say you don’t do your homework. You decide to avoid it, and you have no specific plan as to when you might get to it. Maybe in the next day or two. Maybe not. What will the consequences be? Truthfully, you may end up not learning what you should; you’ll disappoint your parents and teachers; you’ll be letting down your classmates; and you probably won’t be able to progress as readily to the next level in your schoolwork. That’s all pretty important stuff.

However, the sun will come up, you will still be able to function, and you may even learn from the experience. Moreover, you may have a very good reason for not doing your homework. For example, it may be too easy, or too hard, or not relevant. Or you may be too busy, or tired, or distracted. Regardless, you are NOT doomed.

If people don’t do their laundry, they don’t have clean clothes. If they don’t put on their shoes, they go barefoot. If they don’t brush their teeth, they get cavities. There are consequences for everything we choose to do or not to do. Some consequences are far more serious than others, especially if they involve health or safety concerns. The key is to think about why you aren’t doing something, and also what might happen as a result of not doing it. If you procrastinate, are you willing to live with what happens as a result? Will it have an impact on anyone else? Is there some way to start slowly, or to work with others, or to find a way around whatever it is that’s causing you to put the task off?

There’s always something you can do. And, you don’t have to do it alone. Enlist help. Look for alternatives. Get creative. Read the ideas throughout this book. You are NOT doomed!

Procrastination and power struggles? (And at what cost?)

"Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it.

That factor is attitude."

~ William James (philosopher)

Sometimes procrastination arises because of a power struggle, such as when teens don’t or won’t do something that their parents or other adults want them to do. For example, say you’ve been asked to clean your room and you keep procrastinating. Before long, you and your parents are at a standoff, and everyone is upset.

The real question to consider here is not how to win these types of conflicts, but how to prevent them, because there really isn’t a win-win scenario once a power struggle gets underway. It’s uncomfortable, tense, unproductive, and people can end up saying things they later regret. These kinds of situations are best avoided altogether.

So, instead of wondering, "How can I win this power struggle? try to think more constructively. Ask yourself, How can I avoid this conflict?" Here are five steps to try. They all start with the letter C so they’ll be easy to remember, and, to share with your parents who can use them, too.

Steps for avoiding conflict:

1.Calm down—Pause and collect your thoughts. Take stock of what’s what, including people’s feelings, and the potential consequences of your actions, before getting yourself (and possibly others) into a snit.

2.Communicate—Listen. Chat. Share ideas. Be open to having a discussion rather than a quarrel about whatever is causing the problem. Use a steady tone of voice, not an argumentative or blameful one. If you’re not sure what to say, you can also remain silent. Silence can speak volumes.

3.Cooperate—Think about how to work alongside someone else, to find a way to overcome the conflict. Don’t be afraid to ask questions in order to learn how to resolve things as a team.

4.Compromise—Show a willingness to be flexible, to be fair, and to meet other people halfway. Be respectful of their viewpoints even though they may differ from your own.

5.Consider—Consider an action plan. Then once you’ve agreed on a way forward, demonstrate that you’re capable, confident, and able to see things through.

Put all of these suggestions together, and you will have a powerful strategy for dealing with procrastination-related disagreements, rather than getting caught up in a power struggle. In the whole scheme of things, that will be far more productive!

However, if a power struggle is already in the works, here is a useful tip to help de-escalate it. Give yourself some space and time to re-set your thinking and behaviors. Taking a little time apart from one another gives people a chance to reflect, deal with their feelings, consider other people’s perspectives, and calm down. (There’s that first C word again. It’s really important.)

Remember, we don’t always agree with others. Disagreements are part of life. Nevertheless, it is seldom helpful for us to use procrastination to express our anger at others or even to assert our independence, and we can work toward not being defiant, angry, overwhelmed, or disrespectful. We can think about whether a confrontation is necessary, if it’s worth the hassle, and whether the problem or challenge might even subside on its own. Stepping back from the battle field allows us to do that. Compromising, or giving in a bit, is also an option. (For instance, picking up your dirty clothes and wet towels from the floor won’t make your room clean, but it might serve as a peace-making move. You could show your parents you’re willing to at least start the process, helping to avoid further conflict.) Sometimes the solution to a challenging situation turns out to be easier than you might have anticipated.

In the chapters that follow, you will see hundreds of strategies to overcome procrastination,