Hope in the Darkness

By Thomas R. Eades III and Hedeer El-Showk

Journey from the gates of hell to heaven's door in this extraordinary story. Hope in the Darkness is one man's spiritual journey from the fall from grace to conversion, personal miracles, the power of prayer warriors, and redemptive suffering. Travel alongside the author as he treks through the brutal winters in his long robe and sandals, offering

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michael Kastre Publishing, LLC
• Release date: May 11, 2015
• ISBN: 9780990375494

Book preview

Preface

by Ronda Chervin, Ph.D., Professor of Philosophy at Holy Apostles College & Seminary ¹

One day in the year 2000, I walked into the cafeteria of Our Lady of Corpus Christi, an institute of higher learning founded by the Society of Our Lady of the Trinity (SOLT). The school was designed to teach philosophy for seminarians and a liberal arts core for lay students. I was one of the professors.

'Oh, this is the icing on the cake-we're taking in street people!'  I thought as I reached out and pumped the hand of a huge man more than 6 ft. 4" tall who seemed to be about 350 lbs. He was dressed in a black serge ankle length robe with a thick white rope around this waist. Around his neck was a rosary with large beads and a large crucifix. There were broken sandals on his bare feet. His head was balding, but this was made up for by longish hair and a long white scraggly beard.

We're happy to have you with us, I cooed. What's your name?

Tom Eades is my name. I'm a new seminarian, he boomed.

In this way began one of the most challenging and inspiring teaching experiences of my life. All of us professors quickly realized that even though Tom was a rough diamond in terms of previous education, he was bright as could be and eager to learn. By the time he left our school he had worked himself up, with God's grace and our help, to being a fine student.

I think what we all loved best about Tom was his vibrant love for the Trinity, for Jesus and Mary, and everything about the Church, as well as his readiness to serve in any capacity. Even though he was obviously overjoyed that God had saved him from a life of sin, he never used his story to make himself seem more fascinating than those around with more innocent backgrounds.

Sure that it was God's will for Tom to tell his story to the world, I got him into our Christian Writing Group and helped him write a short account for a book I was assembling of meditations.

It was during the same week when we were all praying for the selection of SOLT members for the Russian Mission that I told the priests that the Holy Spirit wanted Tom. My reasoning was that in spite of Tom's English and American background, his huge build, round head and long white beard made him look exactly like an Old Russian holy man.  'When they see him, the Russians on the streets will run toward his open arms!'  This was a prophetic word since when Tom arrived in Siberia little children would run to him in just this way.

I truly believed that the witness of this man's sins and miraculous conversion would reach people that a philosophy professor like myself, could never reach-such as bikers, alcoholics, and drug addicts. And, even if our sins are fewer or less spectacular, don't we still need to praise the Lord for His mercy and rejoice in the daring outreaches of this penitent?

Endnotes

1. Founded in 1956, in Cromwell, Connecticut, to provide a program of education and formation for men intending to enter the priesthood of the Catholic Church, it now awards Bachelor and Masters of Arts. Back

Introduction

I started my descent early. I was eight years old when I committed my first mortal sin, a serious and premeditated sin. I had gotten into an argument with my father on a hot Sunday afternoon. I was so mad that I went out to my mother's car, thinking of something vengeful to do. I sat in the back seat of her white Ford station wagon looking around. I spotted my sister's little white wicker pocket book. At almost the same time I spied a book of my father's matches that had fallen through the front seat to the back floorboard. It was then that I knew in my heart it was wrong. Yet, I still started creating a door to sin by hatching my plan.

I lit a match, placing it in the wicker pocket book, knowing it would catch fire. I then got out of the car and took a long walk around the block to create an alibi. God was there along with Satan. I saw the dark smoke curling up into the clear blue sky. At the same moment I also heard fire engine sirens, intermingling with the black smoke as it rose in the air. I was more scared of being caught than of what I had done. Maybe it was God giving me a break or maybe it was Satan implanting the thought of how easy it was to get away with it.

No one ever suspected me. The investigators said it was faulty wiring that caused the fire. It was the first time I realized how Satan had covered up for me. It seemed so easy to have gotten away with it and nobody knew, or so I thought. That was the beginning of my downhill slide towards the gates of hell.

The wages of my sins were high. I attended Catholic School right through to high school, but as an adult I strayed far away from the faith. I was away from the Catholic Church and attended other churches for twenty three years. My lack of real faith resulted in my life being a disaster.

During this period, I was severely stabbed, shot, broke over two hundred bones, received thousands of stitches, had sixteen major operations, and the entire lower lumbar region of my back was fused. Once I even cradled my stomach and intestines in my hands for over an hour waiting for medical help. I suffered two major heart attacks and a pulmonary embolism—all cured at the time by what doctors called miracles. Hit contracts were placed on me and I was involved in robberies, car thefts, two near death experiences, suicide attempts, biker club fights, gun battles, orgies, drugs, DUI'S, overdoses, alcoholic addiction, jail terms, and dares. Filled with arrogance, I lived on the doorstep of hell.

This is not a book about religion per se. It is about a spiritual journey and the healing power of the Lord. Before I get into the real story of life, though, I must put things into context by briefly recounting some basic religious wisdom.

The only roadblock on my path to hell was the gift of redemptive suffering. Throughout this time I had prayer warriors praying for me, including my mother, father, sisters, and niece. As unworthy as I was, they prayed and offered their sufferings for me. As Catholics we take every word of the Bible very seriously. I often wonder why we are the only religion to see redemptive suffering as part of our faith, as a gift, not a burden. After all, consider what St. Paul said in Colossians:

Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church... (Colossians 1:24)

According to scripture all Christians should be offering their sufferings up with Christ. If we couldn't offer up our pain with Christ for a noble purpose, we wouldn't be able to stand all the pain and suffering.

Redemptive suffering was present when St. Stephen prayed for St. Paul, who was called Saul prior to his conversion.

They threw him {Stephen} out of the city, and began to stone him. The witnesses laid down their cloaks at the feet of a young man named Saul. As they were stoning Stephen, he called out, 'Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.' Then he fell to his knees and cried out in a loud voice, 'Lord, do not hold this sin against them'; and when he said this, he fell asleep" (Acts 7:58-60)

I am convinced that the good Lord allows evil things to happen to bring about a greater good, as well as not to interfere with our free will. This was very evident in how the Lord used all of my pre-conversion life to produce good during my after conversion life. As many times as I spit in the Lord's face, He kept on coming, all because of the prayers and redemptive suffering of my family, along with His Mercy. This is why I am still alive today and not in hell. I know how God allows evil to produce a greater good since this was my life in a nutshell.

Ironically, during the dark times, I didn't worry about dying because I thought that since I was a Catholic, I was automatically going to heaven. (Talk about a misguided sense of faith...) This is a common misconception of misinformed or poorly taught Catholics and Christians. Through many different and intertwined circumstances, I ended up at a place where the Lord finally got me. In fact, He sent His mother to do it. At that defining moment in my life I was made aware of all my sins and my place in hell as I imagined it. Hell was a place described by the holy Saint John Bosco when he had a Prophetic Vision of it in 1868 A.D. According to the holy man:

We took the road. It was beautiful, wide, and neatly paved. The way of sinners is made plain with stones, and in their end is hell, and darkness, and pains. Both sides were lined with magnificent verdant hedges dotted with gorgeous flowers. Roses, especially, peeped everywhere through the leaves. At first glance the road was level and comfortable, and so I ventured upon it without the least suspicion, but soon I noticed that it insensibly kept sloping downward. Though it did not look steep at all, I found myself moving so swiftly that I felt I was effortlessly gliding through the air. Really, I was gliding and hardly using my feet. Then the thought struck me that the return trip would be very long and arduous. I looked up and read these words, The place of no reprieve. I realized that we were at the gates of Hell. The guide led me all around this horrible place. At regular distance bronze portals like the first overlooked precipitous descents; on each was an inscription, such as: Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, which was prepared for the devil and his angels (Matthew 25: 41), or "Every tree that yielded not good fruit, shall be cut down, and shall be cast into the fire. (Matthew 7: 19).

The slippery slope that St. John Bosco talks about is almost unseen. I was on that slope and kept slipping down without knowledge of it. When I realized that I was effortlessly heading down the slope, I wanted to stop and go back, but Satan kept placing thoughts into my head that allowed me to rationalize that what I was doing was right. I convinced myself that Satan's lies were true, mostly because the hill back up was so demanding. Because I convinced myself it was too hard to go back, it was easy to buy into Satan's lies about there being no such place as hell. I have met a lot of others who do the same thing or just lose hope. What we forget is that the Lord doesn't want anyone to go to hell and uses all of the sufferings and prayers of the prayer warriors to bring about change.

This was the exact feeling I had when I was shown my place in hell and why I was there. I had to make a choice. Everyone has to make the same choice at judgment time. When this choice comes