Once Bitten, Twice Prepared

By Elaine Collier, Journey Written and Warren Brown

Once Bitten, Twice Prepared is one woman’s journey with two breast cancer diagnoses, 14 years apart, and how her spirituality, personal development and a range of techniques helped her take back control and get through her second diagnosis easier and with a new positive outlook.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Journey Written®
• Release date: Mar 6, 2021
• ISBN: 9781736738917

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Letmetellyoualittleaboutme.Iamaspiritualbeinglivinginthisworld.Butpleasedon’t thinkI’mfloatingaboutinthecloudssomewheresittinginthelotusposition,burningincenseandchanting.Ohno–I’masdowntoearthastheycome.Iliveinthisworld,andIlove being herealthoughitdoesgetabitshittyattimes.

Ilive withmynon-bloodfamily,Pat,andGeoff,andasoppycatcalled RoxyinOxfordshire.Weall getonwellandtogetherweareasupportteam.Ifirstmet Patover30yearsagowhenIchangedmyjob.Wegottoknowoneanother throughourloveofthesociallife whereweworked.Wequickly becamegoodfriendsandspentalotoftimetogetheralong withourhusbands,DenisandGeoff.Whenmylifechangedcompletely,bothPat andGeoff were thereformeandgavemeall thesupportandhelpIneeded.PatbecameeverythingIwantedallrolledintooneperson.Wemay notbeconnectedbybloodbutwearefamily.

Ihaveason,Jordan,whoiscurrentlylivinginBali withhislovely partner Adelya.Irun theComoCentre,togetherwithmybestfriendGill, whereweteach aboutallthingsmind, bodyandspirit.Ihavealoveoflife:Ilovepeople,Iliketoparty,Ilikeadrink (ginisgood),oh, andItendtoswearalot!

So, I'm nowgoingtotakeyouonajourney.Myjourney.It's beenamajor partof mylifeinthatitaffectedmegreatlyatthetimeandIstill live withtheeffectsof itall.However,Iwillnotletthatjourney defineme.

O N C E B I T T E N , T W I C E P R E P A R E D V I

Iwasfirstdiagnosedwithbreast cancerin2006atthe  ageof52.Fastforwardtofourteenyears laterandanother breast cancer arrivesinthesamebreast.Mystoryisthedifferencebetweenmytwobreast cancerjourneysand howmyspiritualityandmypersonal developmenthelpedmecope withanddeal withtheseconddiagnosisinamuch morepositiveway andbroughtaboutmyownregimeofhowtopushthroughwhenthingsgotitsup.

Althoughmystoryisaboutcancer,itcouldequallyhave been aboutanyother major issue thatwasaffectingmylife.IwantyoutoseehowIhandledthe twocancerdiagnosesintwoverydifferentways.Iwanttoshowyouthat therearethingsyou  can  do,  andtechniquesyou canuse,tohelp make yourjourneyalittle easier,whateveryourjourneyis.Thisisnotaboutfindingacureoraquick fix, it's aboutfindingyourwaythroughinthebestwaypossibleforyou.

Let's dive head first intomystory.It'snot theloveliestoftalesbutit'snot alldoomandgloomeither.

ONCEBITTEN,TWICEPREPARED      1

LIFE BEFORE DIAGNOSIS

IhadalovelyhomeinOxfordshirewhereIlived withmynon-bloodfamily,Pat andGeoff,andacoupleofcats.Myson,Jordan,hadfinished universityand wasonamissionofself-discoveryandtravelingtheworld,solifewaschangingfor me.Itwastime,maybe,to dosomething differentformyself.

Iworkedfull timeasaPA totheDirectorofaResearch Institute.Ilovedmyjob,andIlovedthepeopleIworkedwith.Iamarealpeople person,Ilovetalkingandsocializing.There’s nothingIlove more thanagood nightoutwithfriendsandafewdrinks.Wehadaveryactive socialclubattheInstituteandIwasonthecommittee.Mylifewasfull-onwiththefull-timejob, home life,andorganizingsocial events,from quiznightstosummer balls,toshowsandpantomimes.Therewasalways somethinggoingonandIwasusuallyslap banginthemiddleofit.

Wetook somefabulous holidaysandIlovedtravelingtonewplaces.Iparticularlyloved East Asiaandlovedseeingwildlifeinitsnaturalenvironment.Oneof mybestholidayswasinBorneoandgettingupclosetoOrangutans.Wealways managedtomeetgreatpeopleonanyholiday,andinBorneo,wemetalovely coupleandspentalotoftimesightseeingwith themandsharinggreatconversationandafewdrinksinthe barduringtheevenings.IlivedformyholidaysandIthrivedontheexcitementfromthemomentwebookeduntilthe daywewent.

O N C E B I T T E N , T W I C E P R E P A R E D 2

Wehadagreat groupoffriendswhoweoften  usedtoholiday  withintheGreekIslands.Wewouldall gettogetheratleast onceamonthfordinneratoneofourhomes.Inbetween,there  wouldbetripstothecinema,ameal out,orjustafewdrinksdownthepub.Welaughedalot, oftenuncontrollably,andlifewasgood.

Mylifewasfull-on, enjoyable,andfun. Yes,wehadafewproblemscropupalongthe wayaseveryonedoes,butnothingwecouldn’thandle.Iexpectedmylifetocontinueinthesamewaywell intooldage.

Ihadareallygood,happy,andcontentedlife.IoftenwonderedhowIgotto be solucky.

ONCEBITTEN,TWICEPREPARED      3

BREAST CANCER

-  DIAGNOSIS -

ItwasDecember2005,andIwashavingmyfirst evermammogramatthe ageof52.Inthe UK,wegetaregularscreeningevery3-yearsafterthe ageof50.Ihadmymammograminthemobilescreeningunit that comestoourlocalhealth centre.Itwasquickandeasy,notpainfulbutalittleuncomfortablewhen your boobsgetsquashedbetweentwometalplates.Nevertheless,itwasdoneandthatwasthatforanother3years.They toldmeIwouldget theresultsinabout3weeks.Iwent homeand put thewhole thingoutof  mymind. After  all,ChristmaswascomingandJordan,myson,wascominghomefor theholidays.Iwasbeyond excitedtosee himagainandwithahousefulofpeopleforChristmas,Ihadalottodo.

Aweek lateranenvelopefromthehospitalpopped  throughthedoor.Iknewimmediatelywhatitwas andknewitwas  notgood  news. Thatgutfeeling–intuition–justkickedin. Theenvelopewas  toothickfor onething.ItcontainedalotofpaperworkjusttotellmeIwasallclear.Itwasalsotooearlytobegoodnews.

IfeltabitsickandIfelt likeIneededtoruntotheloo!Badnewsofanykindalways affectsmystomachand I'dusuallyjust havetosit

onthe loo andwait untilmybowels emptycompletely.IknewIhadtoopentheenvelopebutIreally didn'twantto.Iwantedtorunafterthepostmanandhanditbacktohim.

Pat heard the post come through the letterbox so she came into the kitchen to see if there was anything for her. I showed her the

O N C E B I T T E N , T W I C E P R E P A R E D 4

letter.Sheaskedme ifIwantedhertoopenit, butto  behonest,itdidn't matterwhoopenedit, theresultswere goingto  bethesame.AsIpulledthesheetsofpaper fromtheenvelope,amapofthehospitalfelltothefloorandIknew then thatIwasbeingcalledin.  OurhospitalsintheUKarelargecomplexesandmostofthem send mapsoutwithappointments.

Patstayedwithme asIfumbledwiththepaperwork,she wasasanxiousasIwas andprobablyjustasscared.No, shecouldn'thave  beenasscaredas mebecauseherhairwasn'tabouttofall out.Thelettersaid thatthemammogramhadn’tgivenaclearreadingandtheywantedme tohaveascan. This timeIhadto go totheChurchill Hospital,whichisourlocalcancerhospitalinOxford.Iwasgivenadate–the19thofDecember,justbeforeChristmas.

Iwasinpieces.Thiswasn’tsupposedtohappen.Itwasallsupposedto beok.Thiswasmyfirst-ever mammogram;Iwasn’toldenoughtohavecancer.Myworldwasfalling apart.Icried- alot.Thingslike thisdidn’t happentome.Whyisthishappening?Iremember standinginthekitchenandIjust knewonsome levelthatIhadcancerandthatIwould loseallmyhair.Isobbed– Iwasmoreupsetatthat point aboutlosingmyhair,completely overlookingthefact thatImightactuallydie!Patheldme asIcried,therewasnothingshecouldsayother than thatshe wasthere withmeandthatsomehow,wewouldgetthroughit.

Ican’t begintoexplainthoseemotions,andthey just keptcoming,wave after wave.Icouldn’tswitchthemoff andmyheadwasfullofallsortsofrubbish.Therewasn't enoughroomin myheadtothink  aboutanythingother thancancerandwhatwasgoingtohappen.Icouldn'tseemtofunctiononanyotherlevel. Mainly,Iwasseeingabald-headedme.Whatwasitwithlosingmyhair?Surelytherewasmoretoworry about thanmybloodyhair,butthatwasmyoverriding thought.Iveryrarelywentoutofthehousewithout makeupon,mainly becauseIlookedlikeanextra from 'DayoftheDead'withoutit,sohowonearth couldIgooutnow,howcouldIgo  towork?Ijust knew thatIwouldn’twantto beseenbyanyone.

O N C E B I T T E N , T W I C E P R E P A R E D 5

Iwantedtorunaway. MaybeifIwentsomewhereelseIcould leaveallthiscancer rubbish behindme.Ijustwantedtorun,andrun,andrun.BitlikeForestGump,ifyou'veever seen that film.One dayhejuststarted runningandheran foraround3-years.Oh,IwishIcouldrun for3-years,itwouldallbeoverbythen.ButIknewitdidn’twork like thatandthatIcouldn’tjust burymyheadinthesand.Ihadtodeal withit,whateveritwas andwhateveritmaybring,butIcertainlydidn’twantto.Ijustwantedtorunaway.

- THE JOURNEY BEGINS -

December19th,Irememberthedate well. JustafewdaysbeforeChristmas,the dayof myhospital appointment arrived.Oh, howIdreadedthis.Ifelt sick,Ineededtheloo,Icouldn’tbreatheproperly.Thedrivetothehospitalseemedto go onforever.Pat  waswithmeand wastalkingaloadofendless drivel tryingtodistractme.Itdidn’tworkandIthinkItoldhertoshutupintheend.

Thewaitingroomwasfullofwomenwholooked scaredtodeath.Someofthem wouldbe okandwouldbegiven good news, maybeIwouldbeoneofthem.ButwhatifIwasn’t,howwouldIcope?Eventually,mynamewascalled,andratherthanthemammogramIwasexpecting,itwasascan.

AsIwalkedintotheroomIsawacouchand thescanning machine.Itwasanultrasound,much like theyuseonpregnantwomentosee  thegorgeousandpreciousnewlifewithin.Therewasgoingtobenothinggorgeousandpreciousshowingupfor  me!  Thenurse askedtoremovemytop and bra