My Scientology Story: The True Story of an Ex-Scientologist

By Diana Dudas

One of the most commonly asked questions about Scientology is this: how can a person of sound mind believe any of it and fall into this very amateurish-looking trap? Why does it seem so valuable that people sacrifice all their energy, time and money for this system, which seems suspicious even at first glance? And how can such a seemingly primitive scam still exist after almost 70 years?

The initial question is answered by the shocking story of Diana Dudas. 

The book was first published on March 21, 2019 in Hungary and judging from the responses received so far, it rapidly became a readers’ favourite and a source of inspiration to many. In addition to a heart-wrenching story, which is presented in gripping detail, the book also contains a detailed and precise description of the everyday life of a Scientologist. As one reviewer put it: "her radiant, brave and iron-willed personality and her unique storytelling style infuse the entire novel and make it a real page-turner".

The reader will have a better understanding of the whys and wherefores by following her along her path in Scientology.
This book is recommended to anyone who would like to better understand the inner workings of this so-called church. Especially those people who want to take
a stand against this sophisticated, well-established system that is dripping with malice. There is no great arsenal of effective weapons to fight it, but one of them is knowledge, through gaining a thorough understanding of the monster one faces.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Diana Dudas
• Release date: Dec 8, 2020
• ISBN: 6150101320

Book preview

DianaDudas_MyScientologyStory_cover_front.jpg

Diana Dudas

MY

SCIENTOLOGY

STORY

The Stages of the Story

Foreword

Publisher’s Foreword

Author’s Foreword

Chapter One

The Beginnings

Chapter Two

The Purification Rundown

Chapter Three

On Staff

Chapter Four

Destination: United States, the Sea Org awaits!

Chapter Five

The Outcast

Chapter Six

The big Comeback

Chapter Seven

Full steam ahead. Or back?!

Chapter Eight

Punishments

Chapter Nine

On the Verge of Collapse

Chapter Ten

The Party is over

Chapter Eleven

The darkest months

Chapter Twelve

What’s next?

Glossary

To my Grandmother

Diana Dudas

MY SCIENTOLOGY STORY

ISBN 978-615-01-0132-3

Copyright © Clarus Animus Foundation 2020

All rights reserved. Except for the purposes of a review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means is forbidden without the express written permission of the publisher.

Important note from the publisher

Scientology terms used in the book are explained in footnotes, which have also been compiled into a glossary for quick reference. If you encounter an unknown word while reading the text, please refer to that.

Foreword

The private Scientology story of Diana Dudas shows what happened to her during her life. In many respects her story confims the reports I myself have come across time and time again during my official investigations into Scientology.

There are few cases that have accompanied me through my career as much as data processing by the Church of Scientology of Hungary (hereinafter: the Church). I first learnt about their data processing being in gross breach of privacy and the protection of personal data in my capacity as data protection commissioner, having received complaints from data subjects as early as 2004. The subject matter of the joint investigation conducted with the deputy general ombudsman in 2005 was the equipment that is reminiscent of a lie detector (the use of the religious object assists the auditor and a preclear in finding the areas of spiritual pain and suffering) and the practices used in processing the answers given to the questions by people who were asking for help (with special regard to sexual and other perversions), replies on other questionnaires, and related personal and sensitive data. The findings of the investigation gave rise to particular concern. Moreover, the Church even questioned whether I had the authority to investigate their data processing as data protection commissioner. In relation to cases like this, one always has to bear in mind that the freedom of religion is a fundamental constitutional right in Hungary, which includes the free and autonomous operation of churches. Nevertheless, the fundamental constitutional right to the protection of personal data must be respected by every data controller, including religious organizations, and the supervisory authority designated in the constitution has the right, as well as the obligation, to monitor this.

In 2006, the Church launched a public data request-lawsuit against me and requested the disclosure of the expert opinion on the e-meter issued by the Criminal Department of the National Office of Investigation. In the absence of legal grounds, the court rejected the petition; nevertheless, we handed over the expert opinion to the representative of the Church as it had become obvious that the Church was unwilling to accept the recommendations of the data protection commissioner with reference to this litigation.

As president of the Hungarian National Authority for Data Protection and Freedom of Information, I continued to receive severe and serious complaints from citizens affected by this issue, so in 2016 I launched an investigation to clarify how the data obtained from believers, from those using the various services provided by the Church, and from employees was processed. This time, we used the means and methods of the Authority, including on-site inspection and the seizure of documents, folders and IT equipment, to explore what type of personal or sensitive data the data subjects were required to provide (about themselves or even others), and under what circumstances, as well as what would happen to this data subsequently. We came across some incredible cases... Our procedures concluded with decisions imposing data protection fines in two cases, one of which was to the amount of 20 million HUF (which was the maximum amount able to be imposed at the time), because data processing by the Church severely infringed personal data protection rights (in particular, the obligation to provide information in advance, the principle of processing for a specific purpose, the principle of fair data processing, the requirement for data security; they even carried out data processing without any legal basis; moreover, there were data subjects who were minors and they even transferred data abroad). The clinical psychology expert assigned to the case unambiguously established that the methods applied in the course of auditing (said by the Church to be the exploration of spiritual problems and their treatment, as well as personality development) largely induced altered consciousness and so could practically be regarded as hypnotherapy, while the other methods used resulted in the narrowing of consciousness and the social subservience of the patient. There was no professional medical control over their procedures, despite them often being related to diseases and classed as therapy, thus they failed to comply with the professional expectations and requirements of health care in force at any single point.

The Church then attacked these decisions in the court, but the Budapest Tribunal regarded the legal arguments of the Hungarian National Authority for Data Protection and Freedom of Information as correct and well-founded.

The Church of Scientology is an organisation with headquarters and roots in the U.S., but – as far as I know – one of its objectives is worldwide expansion. I would like to note here that privacy and data protection rights are enforced with a different approach in the U.S. and are managed according to different principles as here in Europe. Our investigations also covered, although not in depth, the problems of transferring personal data abroad, which have stringent and accountable rules in the countries of the European Union.

Summarising the aforementioned, I strongly support the idea of initiating the broadest possible exchange of ideas and experiences about the activities of the Church – from me, strictly in the field of personal data processing – in Hungary as well as in Europe. However, discussion requires resources, including first-hand experiences both in Hungarian and in foreign languages. That is why I welcome the fact that the book by Diána Dudás has also been published in English, because this undeniably subjective report provides an occasion for dialogue, for lifting the veils, for asking questions and giving answers, which will be useful and constructive for all participants and data subjects.

Budapest, July 10, 2020

Dr. Attila Péterfalvi

President,

Hungarian National Authority for Data Protection and Freedom of Information

Publisher’s Foreword

One of the most commonly asked questions about Scientology is this: how can a person of sound mind believe any of it and fall into this very amateurish-looking trap? Why does it seem so valuable that people sacrifice all their energy, time and money for this system, which seems suspicious even at first glance? And how can such a seemingly primitive scam still exist after almost 70 years?

Scientology promises total spiritual freedom to its adherents, who are supposed to become happy, well-balanced and healthy. And, as a side effect of the version of spiritual enlightenment they are selling, people who practice Scientology should achieve significant success in the material world as well.

What makes their teachings unique and special? Well, Scientologists claim that their founder, L. Ron Hubbard, who was widely known as an author of science-fiction books and pulp fiction, conducted extensive research to explore the spiritual nature of man, all with scientific thoroughness and engineering precision. So, as a result of decades of tireless effort and hard work, he mapped out a route that would grant such abilities to his followers that would put the powers of Jedi knights to shame.

The mere existence of this book and the life story of Hubbard himself prove these statements wrong. Had he achieved his aims, then Scientology would not have such a large opposition, and the movement would not have been the subject of multiple documentaries and books that describe it in overwhelmingly negative terms.

In my opinion, there was one subject he did manage to research extensively and put into practice – he was looking for various ways to manipulate people to get them to do things they would never normally do. He refined these methods to high levels of workability and effectiveness.

Though it is not possible to achieve total spiritual freedom through this system of belief, there are a large array of tools on hand to keep victims in the fold once they have got into it and take away everything they have – their money, time, families and, unfortunately, sometimes their lives too.

The initial question is answered by the gripping and shocking story of Diana Dudas. The reader will have a better understanding of the whys and wherefores by following her along her path in Scientology.

I heartily recommend this book to anyone who would like to better understand the inner workings of this so-called church. Especially those people who want to take a stand against this sophisticated, well-established system that is dripping with malice. There is no great arsenal of effective weapons to fight it, but one of them is knowledge, through gaining a thorough understanding of the monster one faces.

Peter Bonyai

Trustee, Clarus Animus Foundation

Author’s Foreword

I sincerely hope that I was able to show the cruel nature of this closed system in its actual reality, and that you, dear reader, would never ever make the mistake I made regarding Scientology.

And finally, I hope that my story was an edifying one and that I was able to contribute to keeping you out of Scientology or getting you out of it.

My kindest regards,

Diana Dudas

Chapter One

The Beginnings

Up to this day, I still clearly remember how my search for a spiritual path started, which ultimately would lead me to the hardest period of my life and also to me finding myself. A particularly uncertain time had come along in my life – the combination of personal life situations that open the door to those who are in the business of exploiting others. Scientology did just that. To be honest, the circumstances I found myself in only opened a window. Unfortunately, it gave these soul snatchers the opportunity they needed to climb into my life.

I was twenty-nine years old, full of ambitious plans and world-changing thoughts, in a relationship that was far from an ideal one, living in a village near Lake Balaton. Though my family lived far away, I maintained a close relationship with my Grandmother. A few years had passed since graduating college and, like many other people my age, I was still looking for my place in the world and trying to find happiness at the same time.

My idea of happiness definitely did not include complete dependence on a man – I felt that I could do better than that. I had always wanted to know who I really was, where I belonged in this world and how I could become better and make the most of what I had and could do. I wanted to do something that made me feel that I could stand on my own two feet, so I joined an MLM¹ network that sold dietary supplements and beauty care products. At one of the events I got into a conversation with my senior, Zoltan, and the topic of self-improvement came up. As well as giving me some advice, he recommended a 200-question online survey to the romantic partner I had at that time, who had accompanied me to the event. He, however, was not really interested in the survey’s claims of improving his personality, helping him know himself and making the most of his innate abilities, so he passed. My interest, though, was piqued, so I asked Zoltan to give me the link instead. I completed it and was notified in short order that my answers had been evaluated and I would have to travel to Budapest to learn the results – due to the confidential nature of this evaluation, I had to hear it in person, they said. I made an appointment and a few hours later I got into my car and drove to the capital.

The address I received was an apartment in District IX, where I received a friendly and warm greeting from Sam, a man in his 40s. He led me into an average-looking, simple living room, with a writing desk, two chairs, a couch and a bookshelf full of strange, colorful books. My freshly acquainted test evaluator friend asked me to sit at the desk and after a short generic conversation, he presented the results to me, which were essentially a chart. It didn’t seem to me particularly bad at first glance, but Sam said that one of the points needed attention as its score was rather low.

I asked him what I should do to improve it. In the conversation that followed we broached the topic of my personal life. Sam advised me to think about my current relationship; he suggested that I might be living under suppression and this would not do me any good long-term. He asked me whether I wanted to repair my relationship or intended to finish it; according to him, I had no other real options. I immediately replied to him that I had decided to break up with my partner. He assured me that if I needed any help, I should feel free to contact him at any time.

I did not know at that time that Sam was a field staff member (FSM) of Scientology. Later on, he guided me as I progressed in Scientology, pocketing the 10 or 15 percent commission (depending on the type of service I took) on all monies I paid to the Church.

The evaluation took around 30-40 minutes. After he was done, I thanked him for his time and asked how much I owed him. To my complete surprise he said that no payment was necessary. He added that he would be willing to lend me a few books about improving one’s life (if I wanted to). I was a bit shocked that something was actually free in this modern world. Now, of course, I know that I paid a much larger price than I would have ever thought possible.

I set off to go back to Lake Balaton with various thoughts racing around my head.

Who is this guy – he doesn’t even know me, yet he gives me advice for free? How much should I trust a stranger? Why does he want to help me so much? What if he is right? Eventually I decided to be open to new things, while keeping in mind the experiences I had had in my life so far and applying common sense to the situation. I would see how things developed.

Following up on the decision I had made during the test evaluation, I waited for the right moment and said goodbye to the person I had thought I would be spending the rest of my life with. I didn’t want any stress. I thought it would be possible to handle things in a relatively peaceful manner, but unfortunately this was not how it all went down. A lot of fighting and shouting followed my announcement, coupled with threats. I couldn’t bear it. I was full of fear. I had no idea where I could go if I left our house – my parental home was located far away in the north east of the country, in a small town in Borsod County, and I had no intention of going back there. That left Budapest as the only option.

A few weeks later I packed my things into a car one afternoon and I left for a place called I have no idea where I’m going. While on the road I got a call from an old acquaintance of mine, who asked me how I was doing, what was happening with me, etc. I gave him a brief rundown and mentioned that I was looking for a place to stay as I had no idea where I was going to sleep that night. He said not to worry and that I could stay in one of his apartments that happened to be empty at that moment. It goes without saying that his offer made me really happy and I thanked him from the bottom of my heart. I thought that my prayers had been answered.

I felt really grateful when I arrived at the address he gave me and I was very happy. My acquaintance assured me that I could stay until I found a job and a place to live in the big city. I slept well that night for the first time in weeks and the very next day I started to look for work. Driven by a sudden impulse, I went to a realtor’s office for an interview and fortunately I was hired and could start working the next day. The job was a relatively simple one. I had to call homeowners on a list and convince them to advertise their home through our office too. I was able to earn around 60,000 forints per month. I knew that this would not be enough, but it was still better than nothing. I had a few hundred thousand forints set aside, so my financial situation was safe for the next few months.

I didn’t know Budapest that well, but fortunately Rebecca, a high school friend of mine, was living nearby, so I was not completely alone in the big city. It felt good to be able to speak to someone about the things I had left behind and what to do next.

I was on my way to work when Zoltan called. After passing the how are you and what’s new phase, he told me that he knew about a super Purification Rundown which performed miracles on the human body through the use of saunas and vitamins. In addition to purging the toxins out of my body on a cellular level, it would also greatly fortify my immune system and I would almost never become ill in the future. He knew that I would be interested in anything that could help improve my life, as the products we sold served the same purpose, too.

What he said sounded like a tall tale, but he said that he had done it and felt great – so even if only half of the claims were true, it sounded worthwhile. As the rundown cost around 130,000 forints and I didn’t really have very much income, I decided that I should forget about it for now. He called me a few days later. He brought it up again and asked me to meet at the center which delivered this Purification Rundown. He assured me that he would show me around so I could see what it was and make my own mind up.

The next day, when I parked my car on Paulay Ede Street and exited the vehicle, I felt the cold December air on my skin. I suddenly thought that undergoing such a wellness purification in order to enjoy a few days in a hot sauna was not such a bad idea.

The building was located on a short and narrow street. I clearly remember when I first entered the building – it felt like a movie set or some sort of a strange and alien place. Colorful posters hung on the walls; one of them featured a volcano, the other had happy-looking people on it. There were strange signs and labels everywhere. The whole place looked a bit seedy; but despite having battered furniture and equipment, there was something in the weird mixture that made it look really interesting.

A nice man with a moustache greeted me when I arrived at reception. He calmly asked for my name with a smile on his face and I replied to him with the same type of smile. Zoltan told him that we were going to see the Purif (the shortened name of the Purification Rundown). We crossed a small courtyard and reached another part of the building through a creaking door. When I entered the room, a completely foreign smell hit my nose. The warm air of the sauna was mixed with the smell of the vitamins and (as I learned later) the Cal-Mag (a drink made from a mixture of calcium and magnesium) they prepared. There were not many people inside, just three or four people and the receptionist girl, whose forced and overly sweet smile was noticeable from afar. She had been expecting us and was ready to give us a tour.

We got through the introductions. It turned out that Mary was a Purif I/C (Purification Rundown In-Charge), who was tasked with explaining to new enrollees what the rundown was actually about. She produced a large picture book and explained the whole procedure page by page: how toxins and drugs accumulate in the body, what kind of damage they do, what this rundown does, and why it would be good for me to complete it as soon as I could.

I stood there at the counter and listened to her in silence – I was stunned. Sometimes I cast a glance at Zoltan as a feeble attempt to get confirmation from him about the veracity of the claims. Unsurprisingly, he was smiling and nodding along. A few minutes later, while Mary was still explaining, I was already working out in my head how I could manage to spend the required 4-5 hours in the sauna each day and how to fit this whole thing into my life.

I was a bit surprised to hear how much damage these harmful substances do, even years after they get into the body; how I could feel suddenly ill at any time due to these very toxins; and how it is enough to complete this rundown only once in a lifetime – thereafter my body would be able to get rid of every toxin all on its own and I would never be affected by this phenomena again. How great were these promises, right?

When her 15-minute presentation was over, Mary showed me the doses of vitamins and oils the participants were supposed to take. She emphasized how great this whole thing was and how lucky I was to be able to be here at all. The facility consisted of two small, old, dark brown and stained saunas, plus three weathered treadmills, two showers, two bathrooms, two changing rooms and a small reception counter. In total, it could not have been much larger than 600 square feet.

Various thoughts hit me. There was something here that looked rather uninviting, but the things I had heard sounded really promising. And the idea that I would be able to do so much for my health (even though it was excellent anyway) and flush any residues of alcoholic beverages, medicines and even drugs that I had consumed – well, it was simply a great feeling.

I had my fair share of parties in my youth, and sometimes things really got out of hand, so I thought I deserved that much; I might even owe it to myself to rectify those escapades.

We said goodbye to the staff members, but I had not told them yet whether I wanted to start this whole thing or not. I wanted to think it through. I asked Zoltan on the way out:

Zoltan, this is really cool, but what is this place? It looks like a movie set straight from Hollywood. What’s with all the posters and cups?

Yeah, those are cool, aren’t they? said Zoltan, half-jokingly.

Yes, but what is it called, what is it about?

Purification Center, replied Zoltan calmly.

OK, but who operates it or who does it belong to? I don’t really understand, I told him defiantly, demanding some answers finally.

Well, it’s Scientology. But you shouldn’t really pay much attention to that, as even I am not interested in that part. This Purification Rundown is fantastic – it was brutally awesome for me. You will feel like you have got a new replacement body.

I know now that he was intentionally evasive and did not want to talk about Scientology. But that place was actually the central facility of the Church of Scientology Hungary, which was called the org (a shortened form of organization) by its members.

It was already dark when I left to go home. While driving, I thought about all the positives to the rundown and started adding them together in my mind, as if I was trying to convince myself. I was increasingly attracted by the prospect of doing something entirely new – and it would be money well spent as I would be spending it on myself. After all, I had some savings left and this rundown would fit into my schedule. I was not particularly affected by the Scientology angle, as I knew next to nothing about it. I vaguely remembered from old newspaper articles that a few Hollywood names were associated with it, but that was all. To be honest, I had not encountered anything scary in the center and I said to myself that all I was interested in was this Purification Rundown and nothing else.

A few days later I was called by Sam as well as Zoltan. Both were adamant that this Purif would do me the world of good – and to top it off, by paying now I would be able to do the next course for free. The multitude of promising things they had said earlier and this new piece of information helped me to overcome any lingering doubts and I decided to say yes. As Christmas was just around the corner, I wanted to wait until January to start it. I thought I should get through the enrolment process by then, so a few days later I went back to the center and was told I needed to see the Registrar². I was greeted by the kind and smiling Zoltan (the one with the moustache) at reception, who escorted me to the registration office on the second floor.

Oh my God... the look of that place! Two or three desks (proper relics from the ‘70s) coupled with a few chairs, cramped into a small space. There was an ancient computer on one of the desks, and the Registrar was sitting behind it. He was a scrawny old man with thick glasses, a few missing teeth and the overwhelming odor of cigarettes, and he greeted me in a hoarse nasal voice. He tried to be nice and invited me to sit down. I did and then he started to prepare the paperwork as there was a declaration I had to sign. He said that it was just a formality, nothing important really. I took a glance through it, but he was so relaxed about it that I was not very interested in studying it carefully.

I paid the fee and received an invoice, then he proceeded to hand me a routing form. It was a sheet of paper containing a numbered list of people I had to see before starting the rundown. The whole thing was really weird. Following the dictates of this form, I had to visit a few other staff members. Each one of them wrote the exact time of our meeting on the line next to his or her name and confirmed it with a signature. It consisted of eight to ten steps and took about two or three hours to complete, requiring me to fully explore the building.

The most interesting part of this routing form procedure was my visit to the office of a person they called an Ethics Officer³. A smiling woman (who was around my age and moved around in a noticeably relaxed manner) invited me into her office, where a strange instrument called an e-meter was set up on the desk. I sat down at the desk, facing her. She told me that she would do a metered interview. I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about – the smile on her face must have been a reaction to the expression on mine. My eyes were wide open, that’s for sure. In addition to the instrument, there were two cylindrical objects on the table, which looked like soda cans.

She placed the cans⁴ in my hands, adjusted something, and then commanded me to squeeze the cans while she watched the digital display. I had to repeat this several times, as I was squeezing the cans either too strongly or too weakly. When she found the amount of exerted pressure acceptable, she asked me to take a deep breath through my nose and let it out though my mouth. I managed to get this right at the first attempt. She then repeated that she would conduct a metered interview now.

As I learned later, the e-meter works like this: by