The Greatest Hero Of Them All

By Kenneth Guthrie

A warrior and a mage set out on a quest to defeat the most powerful fighter in their world and on the way meet a host of odd and interesting characters. Ninja, pirates, off-worlders, gods, dragons and so many more become a part of a journey that will take them everywhere in the known world and far beyond.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lunatic Ink Publishing
• Release date: Dec 5, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005253295

Kenneth Guthrie

Kenneth Guthrie is a writer of sci-fi, fantasy and crime novels.Profile image credit: Vincent Gerbouin at Pexels.com

Book preview

THE LEGEND

Dear Reader,

Many centuries ago there lived a hero. His name has long been forgotten, but we know him as ‘The Greatest Hero Of Them All’. Some call his story a true tale of heroism and others cite it as a warning to all those that wish to fly high to beware the sun as they might find themselves burned by it. Whichever side you might be on, there is no denying that the hero and his troop of friends and allies did something spectacular in their time. Something big enough to be remembered and to be told to all children everywhere 1000s of years beyond when the events of the hero’s story took place. In this work you will find that story committed to text - in full detail and with nothing left out - for your reading pleasure. The most famous story of our world - The Greatest Hero Of Them All - is in your hands. I hope you will enjoy it.

Yours Faithfully,

Galena The Wise

Holder of Stories

A WARRIOR NAMED MURK

Listen, you are just going to have to believe me. I didn’t mean to end up here.

The mage’s name was Varius Volorious and Murk didn’t know him personally but most certainly by his reputation. His gaunt personage had graced one big wall of the Warrior Academy where Murk had trained before he was allocated to A-Squad and promptly abandoned by them in the Madlands on his second day on patrol. The reason for that image - a great painting with an hideous iron frame embossed with dragons and devils that was held aloft by a grotty rope of dwarven metal and a blood red metal spike rammed into the wall with hateful intent - was a reminder. It said plainly: Warriors and mages do not mix and this is the face of a mage when he encounters one he does not like.

Varius had many reasons to not like Murk. One of those was oozing fluids all over Murk’s pants where he’d landed rear first after being thrown through the underwater portal that his girlfriend Kate - a rather temperamental water spirit and water mage - had created when he had suggested she stay in her village near the Dragon Spear Mountains because the great adventure he sought was likely to get her killed.

My poor, poor Franxis. You have murdered him! the man wailed for the fifth time.

The mage’s face was 1/5th rage and 3/5ths sadness. The other 1/5th was covered by a long beard that hung down his blue star sparkling bed robe and was unreadable.

I can understand you are upset about your pet, but you really should let me go.

Varius whisked a hand around in a circle and the ropes of pure gold tightened.

You are not getting away, he said with absolute firmness.

The aging spell caster went to the corner of his study and started to stare out the window while mournfully mumbling dead, dead, dead, my poor Francis is dead... His face had changed from 1/5th rage to 2/5ths. Murk did not want to see what was going to happened when he reached 3/5ths.

I know a mage, Murk tried. He’s a bit of a bumbler and fairly useless, but he could vouch for me. He’ll tell you that I wouldn’t do this on purpose and that it was a mistake.

Varius looked his way. He didn’t speak, but he was listening.

He’s somewhere in the Free World. I met him in the Madlands a few months ago.

The tall man turned.

What is this mage’s name?

Sinth.

For a second the old man stared at him. Murk couldn’t read his expression at all. It looks a lot like a stomach ache mixed with some kind of need to burp.

After a time the old man’s face changed. Rage subsided and in its place was mirth. That emotion grew until the mage was bent over wheezing, slapping his knees and cackling so loud that it echoed in the dome of the man’s library.

You kill my poor Franxis and you mention that foolish apprentice’s name as one who can vouch for you? the man with great humor.

Umm... yes?

The ropes disappeared. Varius waved his hand in the air and a shimmering circle appeared. There was a red bell blinking in the center of it.

Sometimes it takes time to connect, Varius informed Murk.

The circle suddenly crackled with fingers of lightning and a shock wave filled the room. Varius looked around in concern as books started flying off their shelves.

Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? came a fearful cry.

Ah, hello? Murk said.

Is that you, Murk? the one on the other side of the shimmering circle asked.

A face came into view. It was Sinth. He looked like a pimply teenager in his yellow and blue striped robes and long pointed formal hat with ‘journeyman’ printed on the front in big white letters on the black fabric. From Murk’s understanding his friend was at least 25 years old if not much more. He never looked it - or acted it for that matter.

Are those formal robes? Varius asked.

Oh, Varius, ummm, yes they are.

Where are you? the old man asked.

At a dinner party.

Varius’s eyebrows came together.

Is that the Mage School’s main dining room in that background? he asked.

Well, yes and no.

Murk and Varius leaned in.

How no? Varius asked. That is most certainly the Mage School.

It’s difficult to explain.

Sinth looked back over his shoulder. There was another shock wave that sent books and antiques flying. Murk winced when he heard a crash behind him. That would be the large crystal he had noted on appearing here and falling to the floor.

Explain, Varius demanded.

Well, we have an multidimensional dragon here causing some spacial shifting, so the main dining room technically is and is not the main dining room we know.

And how did the dragon get into the dining room? Varius asked.

Murk groaned. His mage friend had a certain bad habit. He was fairly sure he knew how the dragon got where it was.

I accidentally summoned it.

Varius’s fingers formed claws for a moment and he went very red.

Again? he asked.

Sinth said nothing.

This is the 9th time since I heard about your antics in the newspaper that this has happened. You are a complete and utter nuisance. I don’t know why they haven’t taken your apprentice status from you yet.

The old mage turned and looked to his dead pet. A nasty look came over his face. It was 5/5ths the type of look that he had in the painting at the Warrior Academy.

I think I have something that may be able to help you, apprentice Sinth.

Murk backed away. He put his hands up and started to mumble, Please no...

What is it? came Sinth’s voice.

Something about as useless as you are.

The old mage intoned six words. A portal appeared under Murk. For a few seconds he howled in utter terror with his arms and legs waving and then he fell. The world was red and hot and flames and demons flew before his eyes; then the world was blue and nice and perfect; then the world was dark and Murk could see nothing; then it was seven other things that terrified or aroused peace in him; then he was falling. Below was a large castle. He recognized it. The top most arch with its pointed spire and the long metal pole that held the Mage School’s bright blue flag on it came into view.

Noooo---!

It was in line with his crotch. He swam in the air like a fish, but that didn’t help.

Oh! Murk cried out as he descended straight towards it.

POP.

He was everywhere and nowhere in that moment. Murk passed through the roof and then the world was dark. He felt the air pop out of his lungs. Something hard was below his finger tips as he attempted to get up, but fell back down as a wave of crippling cold ran straight through him.

Murk managed to open one eye. He promptly closed it. There was a dragon staring straight at him. He was 100% going to die.

AN UNEXPECTED DINNER

The portal dumped Murk hard against the floor of the dining room.

Ouch, the warrior groaned as he drew himself up to his feet slowly and blinked his eyes. There was a nasty gash on his forehead from when he’d collided with the floor and his vision was a swirling panic of dots, colors and bright sparks and not much else. He felt someone pulling at his shoulder plate and went with them. Slowly the sounds of the dragon roaring met his ears. He was pushed down against a wall and sat back against it. In front of him a face was coming slowly into view. It was Sinth. The man’s brown gold flecked eyes were crunched into a worried look and he kept looking over his shoulder. Murk let his eyes lazily roll in the direction that his friend was looking. There was a large black shape with what were most likely wings spread wide and fire belching from its maw. In front of that creature was six individuals in robes and formal peaked hats casting something and various glowing spells flying left and right around the room from other mages gathered in the dining room.

Can... hear...? Sinth was saying.

Murk shook his head. He pointed to his left ear and shook his head again.

The other man looked back. His face became a little clearer. He looked worried.

The dragon’s roars were shaking the dining room. It was a space as big as a small library. There were two sets of doors to the left and two to the right. At the back some of the guests - mages by the blurry colors that Murk could make out - were sifting out a rear door to the right. Between Sinth and himself were a number of tables and chairs. Some where smashed to pieces and others were turned over in their users’ haste to get away from the dragon in the center of the room.

That’s a big dragon, Murk said.

The beast seemed to hear him and turned their way. A red spell hit it in the jaw and it looked away again to concentrate on the mage that had thrown the spell at it. It had only been a moment, but when his eyes had met the creature’s Murk had become sure that this creature was going to kill him (or perhaps Sinth given they were both standing next to each other and the death glare could very well have been directed at his friend rather than Murk.)

I have to get up, he mumbled to himself.

‘A warrior fights best on his feet’ was what his trainers used to say. He pushed himself up against the wall and slid upwards to a standing position.

We have to get out of here, he said to Sinth.

The other man said something, but it was too low to be clear.

Speak up. I can’t hear you.

Sinth tilted his head to the side and pointedly looked to the dragon and back. He leaned in and said at a normal volume, If we can get by without drawing it’s attention then we can get to the door.

Draw it’s attention? Murk asked as he had misheard.

The mage shook his head.

DON’T draw its attention.

Oh, I see.

The two of them watched on as the six mages threw spells at the creature for very little effect. There was no one in the back of the room now. It was clear that the mages were only trying to distract the beast and when they noted the guests had fled successfully, a shout from their leader in green had them fleeing for the side doors.

This is our chance, Sinth said.

All six mages had went left and the beast followed behind. Sinth grabbed Murk and yanked him towards the right. Armor not being light and Murk not being with it entirely, they made poor progress.

They came to the door and Sinth pushed against it. His face went white when the door didn’t budge.

Murk reached out and pushed. His face fell too when he recognized the resistance. Someone had put a barrier spell on this door. The way that the wood didn’t give under the pressure of his hand pushing on the door told him all he needed to know. The threat was being contained - fairly standard fare for a magical creature summoning - and they were contained with it.

The back, Sinth shouted.

Murk rubbed his right ear. His hearing had come back and his vision was smooth as silk now. The strong fear he held of being locked in a room with the Free World’s alpha predator was enough to restore his senses.

They edged around the side of the room. The door was on the same side that the mages went out. They would have to get to it before the dragon...

The creature turned there way.

Oh no-- Sinth cried.

The dragon seemed so much bigger when it was staring directly at them. Murk slunk back against the wall.

I wish I had my shield, he murmured.

As if summoned, the silver curved triangle, which was very similar in shape to a heart, with its two slight curves leading in from the top edges to a upward curving spike hit the floor dead center in the room. It had come through a portal and that meant that Varius had sent it.

The clang of the shield rang out in the room. All four corners of the space were filled with the sound of it coming to rest. Murk judged the distance. The old mage clearly thought he was clever. If Murk went for his shield then he’d be dead before he got to it.

Thanks, he said sarcastically to the air around them on the assumption that the old man was listening in.

The dragon stared at the shiny shield for a time. Dragons liked shiny objects, but this one was a weapon of war. Weapons of war were usually not dragons’ favorite items because they were often employed against them. This one’s lips curled back in a snarl. A single curl of fire licked across its lips and then it threw its head back and roared again.

We need to keep moving, Murk urged.

Sinth started along the wall, but the dragon wasn’t having it. The beast brought its head up then threw it forward with its maw wide. A gust of flame headed straight in their direction and they were exposed to the heat of it. Fortunately, the beast was aiming for the shield. It became a liquid puddle of metal in an instant.

Oh, that has to suck, Sinth said apologetically.

The beast turned its eyes to them and almost smirked as if to say it could have done the same to them with little difficulty.

What do we do? Murk asked.

Sinth shrugged.

I’m thinking.

Neither moved. The dragon was just looking at them. They had no idea what was on its mind and it probably wasn’t able to tell them because young dragons like this one hadn’t gone the hundreds of years it takes for an elder dragon to accumulate enough magic to form words from magic. Hence, the roaring: The beast’s only form of communication at this point.

I have an idea, Sinth said.

He glanced at the tables piled up against each other near the door they had ran to.

When I say, be ready to run.

Sinth pulled out his amulet from his pocket and held it out front of him. The beast took one look at that and had the natural reaction that almost every living creature in the Free World had on seeing a mage about to attempt magic in their direction and that was to try and kill it before something terrible happened - either intentionally or unintentionally (usually the later).

Fire poured over them, but Sinth had been quick. A disc of pure ice the size of both their bodies blocked the flow of the flames.

Run, Sinth cried in terror.

They rushed towards the doors and hurled themselves behind the table. Sinth was clutching his amulet to his chest and looking terrified and Murk was slapping at his armor as the fabric padding that stuck out from the edges had started to smolder.

I don’t think it’s going to let me cast a spell, the young mage said.

They looked over the table. The dragon was playing things cautiously, which was smart or stupid depending on whether it knew how little threat the two of them presented, and was hanging back near the doors. Murk looked over and saw Sinth staring at the little mage on the amulet with his lips moving.

Are you praying again? Murk asked because he couldn’t feel the familiar queasy feeling he always got when Sinth tried to cast anything.

Sorry. I’m just a little terrified. The mage straightened himself and adjusted his blue and green robes. I’m going to try again, but I need a little time. Can you do something?

Murk sighed.

I sense this is not going to be fun.

He stood and and pointed at the dragon.

Beast, hear me well for I am...

A wave of fire passed over him. Fortunately, he’d flattened himself to the floor when the dragon had opened his mouth. He looked to Sinth.

Sorry. I didn’t realize you were ready.

Murk sighed again. This was a regular thing between them. Sinth made Murk sigh like a maiden in love with a prince, but with less nice meaning and more deep concern for his life.

One more time.

The warrior stood and waved his hands at the dragon.

Listen, he said. I just want to...

The floor was warm this time and the tables were on fire. Half had been obliterated and the other half were smoldering.

Did you do it? Murk asked.

Sinth gestured across the room. Murk turned and looked over the table in front of him. What he saw chilled his blood.

Oh, you can’t have...

There were two big ones - adults - and two small ones - the creature’s children it would seem. Sinth had caught the two adults in a rather embarrassing moment and they were looking around in shock and anger. They had long powerful legs that they stood on with hooked claws at their feet. Their bodies were sizable and three times as big as Murk and they had a wicked line of teeth running across their jaws. These were carversaurs - a form of dinosaur that dominated the Madlands that Murk had just escaped - and they were very angry.

This was not a good idea, Murk told Sinth.

The creatures turned on the dragon and leaped up to bite at the beast. Their jaws ripped into its scales and caused it mild pain. In short order the three creatures were rolling around in a mess of beating wings, raking legs and flame. Meanwhile, the small ones started sniffing the air.

Ohhhh, that is so not good, Sinth said.

The young ones started towards the two humans - soon to be their lunch - and Sinth and Murk started to back away towards the doors behind them.

I really don’t like this, Murk said.

The two small creatures charged when they saw the humans stand. Murk went towards the wall away from the doors and Sinth went towards the doors. There was one thing about carversaurs that Murk was excessively familiar with. In all his time tramping around the Madlands looking for the armor he was told to find lest he face an unpleasant end at the hands of one who looked just like him, Murk had learned that there was one rule that none in the Madlands violated. That was that you don’t hurt the offspring of a carversaur. They would hunt you anywhere in the Free World to end you if you even scratched one.

The creature spat at him and started to circle left and right. Murk was up against the wall in more than one way. He heard a sound like a wet thump and looked to his side. There was Sinth bashing the other small beast’s head in with a huge block of ice. He waved at Murk and smiled nonchalantly at his lack of awareness of what he had done.

No---.

The words escaped Murk’s lips, but in the end he had no choice either. He drew his sword and cleanly sliced the head off the small creature as it attempted to gut him in its rage at seeing its sibling turned to mush.

From the other side of the room there was a deathly howl. Both of the carversaurs had sensed the death of their young and had left off the dragon and were now stalking forwards towards the two humans with murder in their eyes.

I need my shield, Murk yelled to Sinth.

The man mumbled something and held up his amulet.

POOF. Where there had been a puddle of silver metal cooling in the room, there was a shield. It flew to Murk and he slammed his arm into the clasp.

You aren’t going to be able to beat them, his sword whispered to him in his mind.

He glanced down at the length of perfect steel with its gold and jewel embedded pommel and grip. Murk didn’t have anything to say to that.

Slowly he edged around to where Sinth was standing. There was a wholesome fire burning where the tables had been. The smoke of it made the air uncomfortable to breathe and it was slowly wafting throughout the room enough to suffocate them all slowly. The creatures slowed near the flames. They didn’t like fire and they didn’t like smoke. Their nostrils flared and they stood still. That was not the right move to make with a dragon forgotten at their back.

The big beast rose above them and drew in a mighty breath. Both carversaurs realized their error at the same time and turned to assault the beast, but it was too late. A huge burst of flame poured forth from the dragon’s mouth. Neither creature lasted more than a second or two under that onslaught. They evaporated from existence and were gone forever.

A wall to protect; a wall of ice I need, Sinth chanted.

A chunk of ice that reached from ceiling to floor and was on an angle enough to close up at the wall nearby formed immediately in front of them. The small stained glass windows at the rear of the building burst under the sudden weight of the ice and the stone of the wall sank inwards. Murk looked to the windows hopefully, but from the blue sky and the towers that he could see beyond, he was fairly sure they were too high to jump (That was if there was no barrier in the way - something he suspected there was - to block an aerial escape.)

The dragon surged forward and bared its fangs at them. Taking one look at the wall of ice, it let out a hail of fire. The ice melted under this strain, but did not shrink in thickness.

We are saved, Murk said in relief.

Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched, his sword reminded him.

I’m not counting my chickens, he replied to it.

Sinth gave him an odd look.

It’s the sword, Murk said.

Sure it is.

While they had been rejoicing, the dragon had been sitting on its hindquarters scheming. The beast came forward and looked closely at the ice. It looked up and then down and then it’s maw curved into what was the equivalent of a dragon smile.

That’s not good, Murk said.

It has a plan, Sinth noted.

The beast burned the bottom and the top of the wall all along its length. Water slowly ebbed over the two humans’ feet.

Two steps back, the sword warned.

Murk leaped backwards and put up his shield. Just as he did the dragon slammed its body into the ice wall. The ice slid backwards and crackled along the wall.

Sinth got knocked back and Murk sheaved his sword to help the man to his feet.

A little warning would have helped, the man said.

Sorry.

They both inspected the wall. The dragon was too. It had pushed the wall backwards a good four paces. There was only ten to give.

Back, Murk warned.

He didn’t need the sword to tell him what to do when the dragon pushed the wall again.

The beast hammered the wall forwards and it slid 2 more paces. Murk put his shield out at the ready and the beast gave him an amused look.

Do you have a plan? he asked Sinth.

No.

Excellent.

The beast pounded the wall with its tail this time. It was a controlled effort and only 2 paces were taken. Murk was hard up against the double doors and Sinth was beside him. The ice was nearly directly in front of their faces.

Is there a chance we can talk about this? Sinth tried.

There wasn’t. The dragon whacked the wall forward and Murk felt a pop in his left forearm. It was wet and painful and hurt a lot. He looked over to see that his shield was wedged up against the door frame and had twisted into his arm to snap the bones straight down the middle. They stuck out of his forearm and he felt a little faint.

I’m mot enjoying dis, Sinth said.

He was pressed up to a section of the ice that had come loose. His amulet hung from his fingers and his face was pressed to the freezing cold, wet mass of the wall.

I think we are done for, Murk noted.

The sword was silent at his side. Usually he could hear it chattering away in his head all day long, but right now it had no advice and advice was pretty much all it gave him every moment of every day.

It was nice knowing you, Murk said as the beast brought itself back and lowered its head so that it could headbutt both men into a squishy death in a single charge.

Sinth was saying something when a spear flew through a portal in the roof and impaled the creature’s left wing.

What? Murk said in shock.

Another pierced the other wing through the same method. Suddenly the doors on the other side were open and very aged men in various colors of robes were pushing in with amulets and other magical items raised.

The beast tore itself free and charged the new aggressors. It was not from them, though, that the threat came. Through the portals jumped warriors in full body armor glowing with ruins of fire protection. They threw spears at the beast tipped with the finest of blades that stuck lightly into the flesh of the beast.

It turned again - perhaps sensing the greater threat in the squad of warriors that had just entered the fray - and promptly was tied up in roots springing from the floor, chains of fire and ice and main other magics. It howled in anger and from above it a bigger portal opened. From this jumped a man of very large size in full armor with a battle axe in hand. He landed on the creature’s back and swung down using the momentum of his fall. The axe was sizzling red hot as it connected with the skull of the dragon and tore through skin and bone and all to just barely nick the monster’s brain. The beast fell forward and the warrior rode it to the ground. It made to stand, but its legs would not allow it. The warrior raised one boot over the handle of the axe and stomped down on it. There was a nasty crunch and a irritated squeal from the dragon and then it was done. This dragon would no longer be able to occupy its physical body and was now on its way to the dragon’s dimension to resurrect to a new type of anger: The type were its rampage had been cut short and by a pack of humans no less.

Sinth gripped his amulet and chanted begone and the wall fell away in a flow of water to swamp the dining room floor.

Murk fell to his rear and yanked his shield off. It was a really bad break. The bones of his forearm had been snapped and shattered and had been pushed out the other side.

I think this has been a really bad day, Sinth said as he sat down beside Murk and lay his head back against the door.

It can still get worse, Murk said with a long look at the team of warriors inspecting the dragon.

A female warrior stepped away from the group and headed their way with purpose. She had her helmet on, but Murk knew exactly what she looked like underneath.

If it isn’t our little deserter, she said.

Mindle Perkins of A-Squad was the group’s healer. Murk had always liked her until the day that she’d drugged him over dinner.

I was abandoned, Murk noted.

Whatever you say.

She bent down with a creek of metal and looked over his arm.

This is going to take more than I have on hand to fix. How does it feel?

Painful.

I bet. At least you aren’t crying like a little girl like that time you got stung by a beefer.

Murk gave her a look. A beefer was a form of insect that held the Madlands strongest poison. He was crying because he was moments from dying and she had suggested withholding treatment as a ‘research experiment’ into how long one could last before the poison caused permanent damage.

Let’s have a look.

She took the fingers of his hand and squeezed them.

Ouch.

At least you have feeling in them, she said.

Mindle took some magic infused herbs and some sticky brown stuff that looked like poop and started coating the edges of the wound. She ran her index finger in the muck in the form of a sign and a green healing light appeared. The pain very quickly subsided and he felt some relief.

You’ll need to--

If it isn’t the deserter.

Murk groaned quite audibly. Striding over with his messy axe was the commander of A-Squad, Greenwich Rich. The man was huge and his armor shone with magic and polish.

The big man leaned down and threw the bloody axe over his shoulder.

I see you ran away again.

Murk couldn’t see his face, but he knew that Greenwich was amused by this.

I fought a little.

Enough to not die a honest death.

The man looked to Sinth.

I see you still keep bad company. Is this the one that summoned the beast?

It was an accident, Sinth tried.

Sure it was. All things you mages do are accidents. The big man threw a hand back to the dragon’s corpse. However, us warriors don’t do things accidentally. Perhaps that’s why you required a real hero to deal with your little dragon problem.

The big man bellowed out a laugh and stood staring at them.

I don’t get the joke, Sinth said honestly.

Mages never do.

Greenwich walked off to A-Squad and left Murk and Snith alone.

Are you injured? Mindle asked Sinth.

No. Not really.

Good, she said. I’d rather not touch a mage.

She gave Sinth that look that every single inhabitant of the Free World gave mages on first meeting. It was three parts disgust and two parts fear of accidentally being magicked in some unfixable way.

The woman left them and they sat there.

This really has been a bad day, Sinth confirmed.

There was a wiggling of the doorknob. Murk sat up, but Sinth wasn’t fast enough. He fell on his back in the now open doorway and looked up.

Oh, hello, professor. Strange to see you here.

A word was spoken. Hands reached in and dragged Sinth off through the door and down the hallway. Murk turned and watched them go. That was not going to end well.

From the other side of the room a young mage in green hustled over.

Are you injured?

Murk held up his arm.

Looks like it.

Let me help you up. The accidents and emergencies ward is not far from here. They can help put those bones back where they belong.

Murk took the young man’s hand and pulled himself up. He reached down and took his shield in his good hand and started off after the mage. Just another day in the Free World. Dragons and all.

OUT OF AND IN PRISON

Sinth hadn’t enjoyed being locked in a cage very much. The mage prison that sat at the middle of the town next to the mage school was dusty, unpleasant and smelt of fried beans (which happened to also be the only food they served for the six years of Sinth’s sentence).

He strolled out into the daylight of the mid-afternoon and came to a halt when he saw Murk waiting near the road that edged the small square outside of the tiny castle that the mages had built to house those in need of punishment. Some part of him was a little surprised to see Murk still here. They were friends, sure, but Murk always seemed to be going somewhere. He never stayed anywhere long and Sinth was surprised that he’d stayed in town long enough to see him free.

The young mage walked over to his friend. Sinth was dressed in his old brown robes and they were crumpled from having slept in them day in and day out and frayed and ripped from his misadventures.

How’s the arm?

All healed up, Murk said, raising his shield arm and rolling down his sleeve to show the clean, perfect skin where the wound had once been.

That’s great. Why are you still here? It’s been six years.

Murk smiled.

You did realize that time is compressed in there, right? the warrior asked.

No. I’ve never been to prison before and it wasn’t in the guidebook they gave me.

Well, it was. You’ve been away only two weeks.

It didn’t feel that way.

I’m sure it didn’t.

Murk held out a cloth bag. Sinth took it. He smiled when he saw it had fruit and bread inside.

Thank you.

He took an apple and started chewing on it. The flavor of the fruit’s juice ran over his tongue and was electrifying. He would never touch another bean for the rest of his life.

Can you still use that shield? Sinth asked, pointing at it on Murk’s back.

Mostly. I had a little rehab issue. Someone told them I was a deserter and they started trying to intentionally get me hurt.

That’s healers for you - a nasty lot. Did you pay them off?

I tried. Apparently, A-Squad got famous while I was in the Madlands trying to get out. I suspect it was one of them. They have a lot of clout.

Sinth’s eyebrows came together. He knew that Murk wasn’t a deserter. What shocked him was that Murk had been part of the elite of the elite (if the newspapers were to be believed). That was quite something.

That sucks.

Sinth put the apple away and then pointed at the shield again.

I did a bit of research while I was in the can. Do you want to know the secret of your shield?

Ah, there’s a secret?

Yeah, I noted it when your arm was crushed.

Murk pulled the shield off his back and held it in front of him.

Did you realize that there are ruins all over the inside?

Yes. I can’t read them.

Sinth smirked. That wasn’t a surprise as they were ancient Hiberian.

I have a solution. It’s a new spell I learned from a mage in prison. He reached out and tapped the side of Murk’s head before the man could act to stop him while rubbing his amulet in his pocket. It’s a bit forbidden, but I want to give you this gift because you helped me out in the dining room.

Murk’s eyes widened. He looked down at the shield.

I can...

There was a grumbling in Murk’s stomach so loud that it sounded like a bear growling.

Oh no.

I should mention that there are some side effects.

Murk’s eyes widened. He looked around with concern in his eyes.

No-No-No-No-NOOO!

Legs clamped together, Murk set out over the road, pushing passersby aside, and hurtled towards the nearest cottage. The man shouldered the door open and rushed inside. Sinth watched on in amusement as crashing and a sharp feminine cry exited the house. He’d thought that this might be entertaining, but now things were really getting fun.

Walking over, he stepped inside. There was an old woman standing staring at a door.

Where is he?

She pointed to the door.

Sinth walked over.

Are you alright? he asked. The effect will pass immediately if you just hold it in.

From inside he heard a groan and then the sounds of something nasty hitting water.

Or you could let it out, Sinth added.

He waited. The old woman came over and squinted at him. The woman clearly had poor eyesight and recoiled when she realized he was a mage and an apprentice no less (having been demoted on the day of his journeyman celebration).

The door opened eventually.

I can read it, Murk said from his position on the edge of the woman’s bathtub. It says ‘shine’.

Sinth was just fast enough to dive onto the old woman as the blast of white light exploded from the woman’s bathroom. Murk cried out and Sinth too. For a long time he was blind. His eyesight only really came back when he was thrown straight back through the gates of the same prison he’d left only a few minutes earlier.

Just not my day, he murmured to Murk beside him on the stone floor.

The other man’s stomach grumbled. He said nothing.

A WARRIOR’S DESIRE

They walked out in the morning. It had been 2 years and Murk’s body was swollen like a giant pressed into a human’s body. His arms were ripped and his back and chest were swole. He flexed a little and the seams of his shirt screeched in agony.

2 years in the can, Sinth said.

Yeah. Been a long time since we were out.

Murk flexed again. He stood staring out at the world. The light cool of the morning told him that it was winter time. There was a light frost on the glass of the windows of the houses in front of him. An old woman stood outside her house. When she saw Murk looking her way, she hurried inside.

I barely remember what it’s like to be free, Murk said.

We were caged like dogs, man. Dogs are suppose to run free, Sinth said.

Yeah. That’s right.

Murk took a step and his trousers split at the thigh.

Damn. I’m going to have to sew that up.

Sinth lifted an arm to pat Murk on the shoulder, but the fabric of his robe tore.

Oh my. He sighed. I don’t think this is going to work. We exercised way too much in there.

The mage took out his amulet.

Do you want help?

Murk shook his head.

I’ll find a tailor.

Sinth shrugged as if to say ‘suit yourself’ and chanted.

God of Cardio hear my words. A workout do I need and more than a little. Burn from me the fat and muscle like kindle.

Nothing happened.

Must be a delay.

He waited.

Maybe try again? Murk asked.

Sinth did.

Hmmm... That’s odd. There must be a lot of fatties praying to him. He’s always a bit---

A translucent hand grabbed Sinth by the head and slammed him by it down into the cobble stones of the square.

Ouch. Are you okay?

Hurrr... Sinth groaned.

His muscular butt had torn a hole in the rear of his robe. He started to steam with vapors of water pouring up off him.

Sinth?

There was a thunder crack and Sinth sat up bolt upright. He started to steam so much that Murk backed away. There was heat coming from the mage and it was hot.

Oh no. I overdid it.

The steam cleared and a very skinny Sinth stood and brushed himself off.

You look like you need a meal.

I feel like I need one.

They started off towards the inn. It was still where it was two years ago (actually just a week and a half, but neither could conceptualize that yet).

Murk led them in and grabbed a seat at the counter.

What’s the breakfast special? he asked.

Bread and beer.

We’ll take two helpings each.

The barkeeper looked them over. One very, very, very built man for his size and another extremely skinny man who was almost skin and bones.

Coming right up.

Inside the inn there were twelve other patrons. They were probably merchants and other travelers by their garb. All of them looked at Sinth’s robes with great concern.

I wanted to talk to you about something, Murk said. I’ve been doing some thinking.

Shoot, Sinth said as he took the offered beer and slurped it down hungrily.

I think I want to become a hero.

You already are. You escaped the Madlands - admittedly through a lovers quarrel, but you did nevertheless - and you’ve helped me a lot in the past.

Murk shook his head.

I know that those are accomplishments. 1 in 100 people survive the outer Madlands and I’ve seen the inner, but that’s not what I mean. I want to be a real hero. He leaned in with his beer in hand. You know, the kind of hero that people talk about.

In what way?

Murk rolled his eyes.

In a good way.

Okay. And?

I want to go on a quest.

Sinth took a turn rolling his eyes.

What is it with you and quests? I would have thought you’d had enough of them after getting abandoned.

A quest to leave is not really a quest, Sinth. I have decided on what I want to do.

Which is?

Their food came. Both settled in and ate half in silence before turning back to their conversation.

My goal - my quest - is to defeat Branos The Mighty, God of Power, Lightning and 12 Other Things.

All conversation stopped in the inn. The barkeeper knocked on the bar top and waited.

You can’t say that name outloud, Sinth said. You know that.

Well, how else was I going to tell you?

They both waited in silence. Nothing appeared that might end them, so they figured they were fine. The barkeeper pointed to his eyes and then to them and back to his eyes with an annoyed look on his face.

Okay. Maybe we’ll call him Bran? Is that alright? Murk offered.

That’s fair. Why him?

Because no one has ever defeated him. He sits in his dungeon all high and mighty and lords the fact over everyone that comes to ask him for something. I want to do the world a favor and take him down a notch.

And he could kill you for that. Do you really think you and I could handle that? I’m not exactly the world’s greatest mage.

That was an understatement. Murk had seen a newspaper article while Sinth was in prison the first time that indicated that his friend was the ‘worst mage in existence’ with a few notable exceptions. He didn’t share that with him though. There was no point in intentionally hurting his feelings.

I think we need a squad - a party. My idea was that we go looking for people to help us.

And who do you intend to start with?

I’m not sure. I thought we might go to Madlands and finish finding the armor that I am supposed to be looking for.

Armor?

A water spirit told me that I need the Armor of Helius The Mighty. If I don’t then I will lose a rather important confrontation in the far off future.

Sinth shook his head in amusement.

You know that water spirits aren’t always accurate in their foretellings. Are you sure it was Helius The Mighty?

She was pretty clear about it.

The young mage thought for a time.

Do you really think finding some old set of armor will help make you a hero? he asked. There are a lot of things we could do that would add to your - I guess ‘our’ - reputation in a positive manner.

Murk shrugged.

It’s unfinished business.

The mage sighed.

I guess that makes sense. Shall we get a portal and hoop over there and pick it up?

It won’t be that easy. First up, I don’t have enough gold to pay for a portal. Second, the only place it could be is the very center of the Madlands. That’s no place to go unprepared.

So a packed lunch then? Sinth asked.

Murk gave him a look.

I don’t think you are taking this seriously. I was trapped in the Madlands for months. We can’t just waltz in and waltz out.

Sinth snorted. He took his beer finished it and ordered another one.

You really do forget sometimes that I can fly. Mountains that mere mortals may not climb are like small hills for me.

We still need to be careful.

Sinth shook his head.

Caution is for the weak. If there’s anything my journey in life has taught me so far, it is that a swift plan and swifter action usually win the day.

The mage stood, took his fresh beer and drank it down.

Come on then, he said. We have to get you some new clothes and find someone that hates me enough to want to give us a free portal.

Murk stared at the man then let his large shoulder’s fall in defeat. Sinth was going to get them in trouble again. He could sense danger closing in.

As you wish.

He drank down the rest of his beer, lumped down a good chunk of the food left on his plate and stood.

To the Madlands we go.

FALLING REALLY FAST

Air was rushing by on either side of him as he streaked downwards towards the ground below and Murk was screaming in terror.

"TOO HIGH!" he yelled at Sinth.

The mage was also screaming in fear but for a different reason. In his case he was terrified because of the fact that his amulet was falling a few feet out in front of him and just out of reach of his outstretched hand.

Not good, not good, not good, the mage was shouting over and over.

Below them was the Madlands. It was a ragged circular area with mountains high enough that the snow had formed into ice surrounding the tips on all sides. Within the area was the largest number of magical creatures that one could find in any part of the Free World. These creatures lived in all kinds of habitats. There was a large swamp to one side that harbored fairies, imps, swamp giants and worse and another area of trees and huts where the fish-like Hercult lived. Beyond these near the mountains were where the dark dwarves and gnomes lived in the natural caves of the area. There was even a small human village near the entrance that a mage had cut years ago so that the races of the Free World could gain access to the Madlands. Opposite this village was another village for the Orcs. Neither liked to mix, but they both wanted to be close to the resources that the Madlands offered while still being able to escape the area if the more violent of the creatures that lived here decided they felt like a human/orc kebab that day.

You will need to help him, his sword said calmly in his mind.

I don’t think I can, Murk shouted.

What? Sinth yelled back.

Sword, he shouted.

Sinth gave him that look that said he thought Murk was crazy. The mage hadn’t been able to hear the sword’s voice when he’d tried holding it before. Hence, he didn’t believe it was the sword talking to Murk. Instead, he believe Murk had lost his marbles somewhere in the dwarven mines where he’d found the weapon. Sometimes Murk himself wondered if that might not be true.

Murk grabbed his weapon by the hilt and drew it out.

Suggestions, he called to it.

The sword glittered brightly in the light of the mid-afternoon sun. It seemed smug, even though Murk couldn’t tell how he knew that.

Fishing, it said.

Murk shook his head in surprise. One of the things that really pissed the sword off was when he used it to fish in rivers. The weapon had excellent aim and was wonderful for skewering fish. ‘Fishing’ made a lot of sense to him as there was a trick to getting as many fish as you could before the fish fled after you spiked the first one.

Bringing the sword forward, he hooked the amulet by its side and twisted with a flick of his wrist upwards. The amulet shot up and flew right past Sinth, who had been trying to catch it.

Oh dear.

Flipping on his back, he saw the amulet above them. Sinth followed suit and they both reached out.

Too far! Sinth yelled.

Murk spread out his arms and legs wide and slowed a little. Below him the villages of the orcs and humans were getting closer by the moment. They were a thousand paces up and Murk was starting to feel fear seeping into his bones as he fell straight towards the huts and small houses below.

Above him the amulet was just out of reach, so Murk reached up with his sword and tapped it downwards lightly. It shot past him, but thankfully Sinth was ready this time. He caught the amulet and started chanting his spell. Murk spun about so he was facing downwards and saw to his shock that were heading directly for a hut on the edge of one of the villages. He could no longer tell which of the villages it was because his head was spinning from twisting and turning in the air.

... please! Sinth cried.

A wide thin disc of ice formed below them. It was mostly water when Murk fell into it. He screamed when he saw that the spell was too late. They fell straight into the hut’s thatched roof and then everything went black.

*****

What is this? someone shouted loudly as Murk’s eyes flickered open.

There was something sticky and wet all over his body. He pushed at it and the sliminess gave way a little. From beside him he could hear someone groaning in pain. Murk’s senses slowly came back to him and he was dragged out of the slimy stuff by a large and powerful hand.

He shook his head and his vision cleared. The slimy stuff was actually slime - the kind that one finds on the side of ponds - and the scent of it was a mixture of foul manure and potent filth.

Murk threw up a little on his ruined shirt and looked upwards.

Oh, hello, Oglash. Is this your house?

The giant orc was not pleased. His face was contorted into a strong need for violence and Murk could understand why. There were two man shaped holes in the hut’s roof and slime on every available surface.

Little warrior, you had better have a good reason for ruining my home, the orc champion said.

Mages, Murk replied. A mage did this.

Sinth was drawing himself to his feet. Oglash glanced at him.

Not that one. We were at the Mage School and Sinth here asked one of the apprentices to send us to the Madlands.

Oglash raised a thick eyebrow.

You consort with mages now?

Only this one.

The orc sniffed.

This one does not seem like a good one to trust. Who will clean my home?

One look into the Orc’s eyes told Murk that both of the humans would be busy for at least a few days scrubbing every single surface of the hut.

I guess we volunteer.

Good. You may begin immediately.

Murk was let go. He slumped down into the slime. At least they were alive. That was a good start.

A DETERMINED PARTY

Murk had only been to the villages once in his time in the Madlands and that was only after he and Kate had set out to find the armor. He’d never realized how tranquil the place was. Little orc children ran around with little human children in the area between the villages as their elders glared at each other mercilessly from the respective boundaries. The playing and the glaring might have seemed at odds with his assessment of the place, but Murk knew that the glaring part was mostly for show. Neither really wanted to fight each other when there was all manner of crazed creatures ready to crush either race just beyond the boundaries of the villages.

Your friend seems to enjoy being chased, Oglash said from beside the fire.

Sinth was out there with the kids and had a mixture of children racing after him as he skid around on a disc of ice just ahead of them.

I think he’s just happy to not have anyone scolding him for once.

Oglash nodded. All of the adults here saw mages as useless and dangerous, but the kids only thought of Sinth as an amusement. It was probably a bit like a vacation for the young man after suffering constant discrimination for well over 5 years now since he was let out of the Mage School to ‘protect and serve’.

They sat in silence for a time until they bored of the sight of the mage and the children playing.

Why have you come to the Madlands once more? Oglash said. The mage Kate told me that you had left.

Kate said I left? Did she mention how?

Oglash shrugged his big shoulders.

Many things were not said. It is likely that you did not go willingly.

You could say that.

Murk sighed.

We got into a fight and she sent me through a portal to a mage’s home.

A mage’s home is not a good place to be.

Not by half. I ended up fighting a dragon and then doing time in prison.

I noted you had gained some muscle. You look almost respectable.

Thanks, Murk said.

So why do you come here? Do you seek further victory over the caversaur?

Not that, Murk said. I’m looking for the Armor of Helius The Mighty.

You want that ancient thing? Oglash asked in surprise.

I was told by a water spirit that I’d need it in the future to defeat a foe.

Oglash sat for a time in thought.

I know where you can find the armor, but I doubt that you will be able to take it.

Why? Murk asked.

Oglash smiled. It was a rare sight.

I will show you then you will know.

He stood and went into his hut and came back with a bucket of dirt to put out the fire and his massive war spear.

It is only a two day trip. If we start now then we can be there when the problem is still sleeping.

Murk stood and picked up his shield.

I will tell Sinth. I’m looking forward to seeing what an orc champion such as yourself thinks is too hard to take something from.

NIGHTMARE KITTY

No, definitely not going to happen, Sinth said firmly.

The three of them were at the edge of a clearing. In the middle was a stack of rocks that formed a small cave. Sitting on top of the rocks was a breastplate of oriental design with long wooden slates over a metal underframe and two shoulder plates that were cupped and round with worn leather straps hanging from a set of rocks they had been placed upon.

From inside the cave they could hear the beast snoring.

I see what you mean, Murk said to Oglash.

They stared at the cave.

You really can’t cast a spell on the creature? Murk asked again.

Nope. The White Claw will reflect it back at us tenfold if I try.

Why don’t you try-- Murk said.

No, nothing you suggest will work. Do you know how dangerous those creatures are? Sinth asked. It’s no wonder we haven’t seen any other magical creatures in the area around here. No one wants to live next to a beast like that. It’s a good way to get dead.

I agree with the mage, Oglash said. This is why I said that the armor would be impossible to take.

Murk stared at the cave. He’d never encountered a White Claw during his time in the Madlands, but he’d seen more than a few dead creatures that had. The big problem was that White Claws tended to sleep 23 hours a day and anyone who got within 20 meters of the beasts would experience the worst nightmares that their mind could conjure up due to the creature’s natural magical defense. However, that wasn’t as bad as if the beast woke. They were known for accidentally driving innocent bystanders mad by just walking by and taking a look at them. The cat’s eyes were so intensely hypnotic that they instantly caused a swift descent into madness to anyone that made eye contact. This was also coupled with the fact that they could tear through anything with their claws. There really was no way to get close to a sleeping or awake White Claw. Unfortunately, the armor was very close to the creature and if Murk wanted it then he would have to get close to the beast to take it.

I need time to think, he said.

The three of them pulled back and sat down on a log to think. The plan they came up with was not one that Murk was going to enjoy.

ICE SHOW

Murk had been chosen because Oglash refused to allow a mage to cast a spell on him and Sinth couldn’t effectively cast this particular spell on himself while making the adjustments needed to keep it functioning.

I really don’t like this, Murk said for the seventh time as he lumbered through the trees towards the clearing.

Neither of his companions bothered to say anything in reply. It was early evening and the sun was slowly making its way down towards the edge of the Dragon Spear Mountains that rimmed the Madlands. Murk struggled to