The Suddenly Miserable Tale of Alex Johnson: Brokes, Pennsylvania, #2

By Jay Jackson

New gods exist.

 

It's only been a couple months since the discovery and Alex's life is already finding itself turning into a flaming dumpster fire. Not only does he have to deal with finding a doorway into a populated island that will lead to where these new gods have been trapped for millennia, but he has to do it while trying to protect the people he's promised himself to protect and appease the gods he already believes in. But there he is.

 

Venturing once again into the unknown and trying to save the world.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jay Jackson
• Release date: Nov 27, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393657637

Jay Jackson

Jay Jackson is a Bermudian author. He has been writing since childhood and enjoys crafting stories displaying the diversity of the world around him.

Book preview

Chapter One

Hey, Jay.

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Oh. Hello, asshole. Where the fuck have you been?

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Uh, I was-

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Because I just wanted to say thanks for fucking disappearing into a fucking tree and then never telling me that you were still alive. Or even in this goddamn plane of existence.

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Uh-

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I spent the last, like, three months panicking that I’d murdered someone and if I’m gonna murder someone, Alex, I didn’t want it to be someone like you!

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Well. Um. Thanks. For saying... that. Uh, I’m sorry about the time, I am, I just- Everything’s been a lot and I know I should’ve sent a letter or text or something but things... Stuff got in the way. Sorry.

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Whatever. Just start from the top.

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Right. Yes. Okay.

So! Uh, the last time we talked, or at least talked a lot, I had just found out that there was a second Warrior[1] of the Gods[2]. That she was the reason why I had to be protected or else, you know, I’d be murdered. That she was behind the whole shift of Demons[3] being assholes and the general dislike of them and their being, even though they’re not any different from human beings. Discovered that the origin of Warriors and Demons was from a story I was told at bedtime that had no plausibility in it until I met one of the actual physical gods from it. Who happened to have been the origin of me as a person, dating from ancestor to ancestor to ancestor to me. And that him and his family and whatnot were all trapped on their island of Boshnisha. Aka, modern day Bermuda.

And they were dying.

Uh, Jackson[4] died, Kali[5] was kidnapped, I rescued them, kind of, and Ranj[6], Kali’s adopted son and Jackson’s ex-boyfriend apparently was alive this whole time and Jackson had lied about it because he didn’t want anyone go after him even after the murder attempt. You know, until he tried to kill me and then did... kill Jackson.

That was... A lot to experience in less than a week. And, um, by the time we'd met face-to-face, I had processed maybe... half of it in a healthy way.

Unfortunately, a lot... other things happened that kind of... ruined any progress I'd made. And, well, that's our story for today.

Whoo. Heh.

Yeah.

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Sounds... more dreary than last time.

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Yeah. It is.

Anyway, it was only a couple months later when everything went to shit again. Progress was slow going. Almost non-existent. Bermuda is not a big island. If there were any hidden barriers trapping the gods, no one could find them. Gods were even reluctantly searching just outside the place themselves too, trying to see if there was a seal or something they could push through. No luck.

Which wasn't really helpful to me and my mission.

I'd gone once, myself, shortly after the whole shebang. No luck there either.

It's a weird place. Spiritually. Everything else was fine, the food, the hotel, the beaches - nicely made and curated, but being there was like a constant itch at the back of my spine. I knew they were there. But no one else could feel it. And no one could find anything.

The Boshnishans[7], Bermudians, what have you, were a global culture before they tinied down onto a little island atop a sleeping volcano. When finding them on the island didn't work, Warriors and gods went searching everywhere else. For a clue or anything that could prove they existed.

Because at this point all they had was my word and the word of two people who were willing to die for me and that doesn't really count for much when my options prior to coming to them were be murdered or lie through my teeth and maybe survive. And Jackson had been dead so briefly that no one even noticed he had died in the first place, which meant - with the lack of proof and Ranj’s inability to show up and stand trial - they were becoming even more and more reluctant to believe he ever had.

Suffice it to say, things were not going well.

Which, you know, is a massive risk because it wasn’t just my life on the line but Lena’s and Dylan’s and Jackson’s and my other friends’ and all the little Demons we had dragged home to safety.

There was a disturbing lack of adults when it came to my fellow Demons. At most, the oldest of them were in their early twenties. There were very few any older than that.

In the early stages, it had just been people Dylan had met on his travels. Then it slid to people and families that other Hybrids[8] knew that no longer had to remain in hiding, like Fish and Alice’s dad. More and more of them were coming into the safety of Brokes and anywhere else our schools were located.

If I couldn't prove these gods were real soon, then I had just given Warriors and gods the opportunity to commit genocide in one fell swoop and that... That was not something that I could deal with in a healthy manner.

So I was really stressed out. A lot.

One thing that was helping level off the stress though: second gods[9] who had secretly been Demons this whole time. They had been showing up a lot more. And, when they were caught and shoved in power limiting rooms that basically amounted them to a singular immortality with no added benefits, they were very forthcoming.

What we had so far was that she’s a young girl. They’ve never seen her face, never met her directly, every single encounter had been through Achil[10]. But they knew she was in control because they'd have to pledge their allegiance to her. And then she would save them.

Some of them changed when they’re sixteen, like me. Day of birth, moment of birth. By luck of the draw, somehow they were all alone. In their room, in a field, on an empty train carriage, anywhere, just alone. Some of them did so when they were a little younger - thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. Maybe the change wasn't always sixteen. Maybe she was manipulating it off screen to ensure they were alone when it happened. But whatever it was, wherever it was, they changed and they suffered. It was fast and it hurt.

And then a man showed up.

And he offered them solace.

Sometimes they didn’t know what happened right away. The pain threw them off balance, made them tired and it didn’t click, but the moment it did, they panicked.

This world they just learned of, this world they were enjoying - it was going to kill them. So they took what he offered. Without hesitation.

And it was easy. Unsurprisingly there are a lot of second gods because, as anyone should figure out there is a mass multitude of first gods [11]and at least thirty-five percent of them cannot keep it in their pants, and the whole integration portion only takes about a year or two. So by fourteen, fifteen, they’d be good. And yeah, their parents would give them tasks and duties, like with Jackson, but that didn’t mean all of them obeyed it, like with Jackson.

So if a few vanished here and there, well, yeah there’d be some questioning but ultimately, it’d go nowhere.

Of course, some of them integrated the bands into their wardrobe, masqueraded themselves around the Heavens or the Underworld and pretended and pretended and pretended to gain intel on where me and my predecessors would be so we could be killed quickly by Demons the others would locate and pull into their little group under the premise of safety.

Apparently, Eric, the time god Jackson knew who fixed my apartment, was one of those people who were supposed to watch me and make sure I was in the prime place at a prime time to be slaughtered!

He was the reason the little girl found me and ultimately the reason my friends killed her.

That was devastating to learn.

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Holy shit.

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Yeah. I didn't like it. Jackson punched him. It was not a great day.

But once Kali had him pinned to a tree, he explained. It wasn’t that he wanted to. But she controlled them. And they felt such an extreme sense of duty to Achil, it was hard to fight the urge to follow his orders.

He wore his band in the form of a butterfly necklace and masked his wings into his back like tattoos, like Lena did, and ensured they were glamoured up if he was ever caught without a shirt. Some of them did that to make it easier to blend in and so people wouldn’t notice it right away or ever. Others didn’t but no one noticed because they were stunning or wore a lot of jewelry so it just looked natural or because it fit the motif and aesthetic of their whole mythology anyway.

Like Ranj.

Ranj who was currently holding a knife to my throat.

I tried not to immediately panic and the fact that I didn't is either a great testament to my improvements with anxiety or to the fact that I'd become somewhat desensitized to someone holding a weapon to my face.

I prefer the former.

Desensitization to trauma is... not a good thing.

Hey, man, I said, voice light. How are things? His arms shook, his eyes frantic. I dragged my thumb over the edge of my ring, fisting my fingers into my palm. You seem stressed.

Shut up! he snapped.

The blade stung against my skin. I struggled not to blackout in panic. Naturally, that was a little hard. It is my go-to move after all.

I bit my lip, twisting my hands behind my back. His arms kept shaking. He wouldn't make eye contact.

Slow, I reminded myself. I slid a hand into my back pocket. The panic button on the back of my phone case - loving courtesy of Ben - was easy to reach. I pressed it.

A whole day of reciting names into a recorder that was minimized into a small audio file and wired into a solid phone case. The sound of my voice was near silent. Even I couldn't hear it, didn't know who I'd called on. Ranj's breathing was harsh and heavy.

Behind him, just a couple steps away, Kanaloa[12] appeared in a brush of ocean spray, so light Ranj didn't even notice, just frowned at the quiet scent. His steps were delicate as he moved on Ranj, a watchful cautious predator. I looked away. Ranj exhaled sharply. The knife near nicked the tip of my chin.

Then a watery arm slammed into Ranj's chest and yanked him back. Kanaloa sidestepped him as he fell, locking his ankle around his arm and disarming the knife from his wrist as Ranj shouted out. He held the knife over his shoulder, one foot on Ranj's chest. Watery tendrils, like octopus tentacles, slid from his skin and wrapped around Ranj's chest, pinning him deeper into the earth.

He glanced at me. Alex?

I'm good, I said. I cleared my throat and exhaled deeply. I'm good, I'm good. How are you? How's Kāne[13]?

I'm doing well, he said. And Kāne is doing well too.

Awesome. I gestured over my shoulder. Shall we?

He nodded. Ranj shouted obscenities at us in Hindi as he thrashed against Kanaloa’s bindings. Kanaloa just hefted him up by the top of his head and began dragging him forward. He reached out to me. I caught his hand and the world melted, as though every drop of water in my body was pulled apart and yanked through the air.

Arriving at the Heavens, I stumbled away and gagged into a bush. Kanaloa winced

Sorry, he said. Ranj tried to kick him.

I waved the apology off. Not your fault it feels gross, I muttered. At least Kali’s disintegration felt a little smoother.

He snorted and we carried on towards the newly erected building, where we were lodging the so-called traitorous second gods. Cleared seconds, usually newbies under a justice denotement, tended to guard the perimeters. Inside were cells which I had pushed to be nice and not... you know.

Barren places of misery.

Simple beds. Private stall for the toilet. A couple books. Sink. Change of clothes. Just... basic decency.

The building was specially blocked from magic. No one, not even the firsts, could use any of it. Powerless immortality.

One of the seconds guarding the doors chained Ranj’s hands up before we walked in past the small room that led into the building. I guess, you could consider it a decontamination room. It was the one place where magic still worked. Otherwise, you risked them breaking free as soon as they took a step forward and turning and running off before you could get them into a room for interrogation.

As we pushed through, the watery tendrils dropped with a splash into a puddle on the floor. Kanaloa and Ranj both grimaced.

None of them ever liked it.

You spend most, if not all, of your life, drowning in power and then have it stripped violently away of you in a matter of milliseconds? No. There was no way that was dealt with comfortably. It was why Jackson immediately turned around and got on a plane the moment he landed on Bermuda with me and Kali just outright refused to even come. Even Warriors themselves didn’t really care for the strange tickling that erupted all over your skin.

I didn’t mind it all that much to be honest.

Maybe it’s because I never wanted to be in this position.

The change in Ranj's behaviour was beyond obvious the moment Kanaloa pushed him into the nearest empty room and left to go write him down as the newest acquisition.

As the door shut behind us, I undid his cuffs. He walked forward slowly, taking in the scope of the place he was now effectively trapped in for the foreseeable future. He sank back on the balls of his feet and tilted his face to the ceiling, trembling.

He was nothing like the man who tried to skewer me and killed my friend. He was broken, terrified and on the verge of tears. Like the others.

Like the kids.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the space next to me. Come sit.

He dropped the ground instead. His knees dragged up to his chest. He pulled himself in close and refused to look anywhere else besides his scuffed skin.

They described it as a blanking. Almost dissociative. In the natural world, her words were paramount. She, and before he left, Achil were all any of them could hear. Then suddenly it was all silenced. Leaving behind a voice many of them hadn't heard in years and a clarity they feared.

Some of them reacted angrily, scared. Some of them cried.

And some, like Ranj, went disturbingly silent, fixated on the things they did and unable to shake the regret that was finally forming in their chest.

It's okay, I said. I slipped off the bed and sat down next to him. We can just sit.

His eyes drew shut. What's going to happen?

Well, we can't kill you so don't worry about that. I shrugged. Even if I could, I wouldn't. It's just not... on brand for me. I looked at my hands, flattened on my crisscrossed ankles. Um, Kanaloa is going to write your name down. When he does it alerts everyone else. So...

Mother will know, he finished, tone devastated.

And Jackson, I added.

His body drew still, tight, painful. Then he turned slowly. Jackson? He's... His voice clenched. He's alive?

Yeah. I cocked my head, a little surprised he didn’t know. Apparently you were one of Achil’s favourites? He gave a slight nod. So he brought him back for you, I guess. I looked back down to my hands. Usually killing someone means you don’t like them, even if you used to.

Immediately, a haunted look passed his face and he turned away from me. I didn’t want to kill him.

I know, I said because I did. It was obvious. Jackson’s death played itself out so much in my dreams, in my nightmares, in my waking moments as I processed mortality and the meaning of it all, and I remembered the way Ranj’s face had twisted and coupled with the fact that he couldn’t, as no god could without a vote, kill me, I knew Jackson was just a way to go.

If someone was screaming at you to kill someone and you had a choice between someone you loved and someone you physically could not under any circumstances murder, the person you loved would perish.

It wasn't fair. A lot of things weren't fair.

He's... pissed. Not about dying, I continued. More about what happened to me.

Ranj nodded slowly. He was always... protective.

Still is. I pulled my legs into my chest and sighed. Tapping my own bracelet, I nodded at his. Can you tell me what happened?

He drew back, just a little bit, and looked down to the band wrapped around his wrist, as black as mine. It was... He shook his head. I had stopped by this empty meadow. I was... looking for flowers. For my mother. He faltered. I- I don't remember how I found it. Or why I- I went there. But... I was hit. With this... feeling. And I- I found myself... different. He looked down. I was fourteen.

Someone spelled you. Instead of waiting for it to hit naturally, I guessed.

He nodded. Presumably. He licked his lips. It didn't hurt... to change. But the sun... He shook his head. It burnt. I am made of fire and flames and even I couldn't stand the feeling. Achil... he pulled me to the safety of the shade and gave me my band. I... didn't understand what was happening. He explained. I didn't...

I waited as he paused, the silence tense and stressed, like a line being pulled at both ends, fibers snapping at the middle.

He broke. I wanted to turn myself in, he said. But my soulmate, Akula- A spirit of chaos under Yam[14], I remembered. She'd turned herself in with great difficulty and many self-inflicted wounds. "-she stopped me. She explained that we weren't bad. That it... it was their fault. I... I listened to her. To him.

I fell.

It's okay, I said quietly.

I did horrible things, he whispered.

I wrapped my hand around his. He was shaking, so minutely I only noticed at the touch. What did he have you do?

I was- I was to pledge my allegiance to him. And Ang. I froze but he kept going. She wanted me at his side, claimed that I would come in handy but-

You’ve met her?

He paused. Then nodded. Yes. Not then. But recently. A year ago, I think. She broke free of the bounds, she said. She was able to be here physically. Which was better, she claimed. She could observe us more, be more direct.

I frowned. Broke free?

He nodded. It... she was stuck, she said. Limited avenues to leave. She would communicate to Achil from the island, she said. She... His brows furrowed. He said that she made him escape, break free. He hadn't been home in centuries. He... missed his family. He would talk about them a lot. But... he was to operate in her stead. A while ago, she got out somehow. She didn't... she didn't explain how. She took over completely when he vanished.

The others haven't met her though, I said. You're actually the first.

I was high up, he explained. His hand shook hard under my touch. She only communicates to the very few. We... disperse her orders for her. Like he did.

Makes sense. I squeezed his hand as tightly as I could. The shaking stopped. And her name is Ang? What did she want you to do after you started listening?

Yes. I think it’s short for something. I can’t remember. He fiddled with his hands, waiting, and I gestured for him to go on. Obviously, she wasn’t there when Achil took me in. But I could hear her. It was... weird. he shook his head. "She wanted me to work directly under him. She said that I was stronger than the rest, that I would be able to help him be stronger, but Achil suggested she let me go. That he was fine alone. So I was stationed in the Heavens. With my mother. As I’d already been.

My job was to find her weakness and the weaknesses of the others, he finished.

What do you mean?

"She tried... many, many things before this, he said quickly. His hand shook again, his eyes drew to mine, dark, terrified, angry. She did. But it never worked. We were only tolerated for so long and then... terminated. When we started getting insistent. It angered her. She just wants them to be okay. His voice quavered. She tried. She did."

Ranj?

The exhale was short, sharp, and painful. She wants to kill them. My heart stopped. Completely. She believes it's the only way to free our people. Her people. They're so weak now...

I tried to keep my voice level even as my heart pounded like a madman. She thinks if everyone else is dead, they'll get whatever residue magic exists and break free. Is that it?

He nodded. Yes.

Is she right?

He pulled his hand away from mine and didn't answer. His eyes scoped downwards. I pulled my body back.

Oh.

Oh no.

When I was first brought in, it was different, he said. "In the beginning, she wanted them to remember us. Then, before me, she wanted the forgotten to fade into nothing. She believed, at first, that they deserved to die if no one believed in them, if there was nothing tethering them, but as time passed, she decided that they were what was keeping the others from breaking out of their bubble and being known. So by the time I joined, she had decided.

They needed to die.

I did not know that.

I knew she wanted me dead. I knew she didn’t really care for my gods.

I did not know she wanted to destroy them.

I swallowed thickly, panic already boiling in my chest. The island where she was, where they are - do you know how to get there?

He shook his head. It’s impossible, she said. It requires perfect timing. Planning. She had to... do things to get out of it. Risk things, people... And what she did... you cannot replicate when you’re outside. We tried to. She forced us to. Achil was... His tone died before drawing in tight, pained. "Disappointed when it didn’t work. They both...  Something about... His eyes squeezed shut. It’s... trapped in time. She’s very young, Alex. She’s been very young for a long time, he said, voice clenched. I don’t-

Please don’t hurt her. Such an unspoken sentiment.

I don’t want to hurt her, I said. I want to help her. They’re my gods too. And- I faltered, my voice breaking. "I don’t like hurting people anyway."

He nodded. I- I wish I could tell you how to get there. But the island... it’s held into itself. Time has passed around it. Things have grown. She didn’t explain how... I... He pressed his hands to his face. She’s so young.

I don’t want to hurt her, I repeated. I just want to help. And if I can get them out, if they were freed, would she- would she change her mind? He didn’t answer. I swallowed thickly. Ranj?

I don’t know, he confessed in a haunted whisper. She’s... different now. Achil told me. She was kinder before. But time... His voice snapped. She didn’t age. She didn’t grow. This plan, this idea of freedom – any way she could get to it, it’s ingrained into her now. It’s been as such for so long. Even if they could be freed, I don’t know... She thinks it’s the only way...

Okay. I wrapped my arms around his trembling form. It’s okay.

I don’t know where she is, he whispered. She uses her own key to hide. She comes to us herself.

That’s great. I took a deep breath. If no one knows where she is, then I don’t have to know and if I don’t know, no one else can talk it out of me and she will be fine and everything will be fine.

From the way his lips drew back, the furrow of his brows and the narrowing of his eyes, he didn’t agree. I ignored it, pulling back, and pressing my hands into my knees.

So. She was planning on murdering all my gods. Great. You couldn’t get into the place they were trapped without extreme planning and even then, there were limited avenues of entrance. Great.

Everything was going so well.

I’m sorry, he said faintly.

It’s okay, I said. It is. I promise. This is... more helpful then the others have been.

Is... Is Akula okay?

I nodded. She was... So much blood. She’d stabbed herself a dozen times trying to stop herself from trying to strangle me. Jackson had been wary but at my word he didn’t attack and she came with us so easily. Bleeding so much.

Crying.

She’s better now, I finished lamely.

He nodded. She wasn’t... high up, but she... she believed in the plan. She would- she would-

I know. Some of them were designated to taking out Warriors. Many others to protecting the remaining Demons and Hybrids from death and execution. She was charged with killing off any hint of a following, destroying evidence of societies that had been long dead, whose gods were long forgotten and misplaced.

She asked me to let her know when you showed up, I said quietly. He looked up. She said she tried to change as many people’s minds as possible before she ran away. She said she couldn’t do much because otherwise she, Ang, would realize and pull her back in, but she said she tried her hardest with you.

He nodded again, a quiet depression. I would... I would like to see her. If I can. Whenever I can. Please.

Of course. I licked my lips. And Jack? Or your mother?

He swallowed so thickly his Adam’s apple bobbed evidently. He opened his mouth, only short sounds, dying and strained, fell out. He clicked his jaw shut.

It’s okay. A loud commotion exploded outside the room. We both jerked at the sound. I stood up. Unease dripped down my spine. That's probably them.

He winced, drawing in tighter. I stepped in front of him, aware of the thumping sound coming towards up, louder and louder. Distress boiled in my chest.

The door slammed open. Behind the two raging entities, Kanaloa mouthed, Sorry and then vanished from view as Kali surged forward, tall and imposing. Jackson yanked me out of the way and into his chest. Kali grabbed Ranj by the back of his shirt and shoved him up into a wall.

Kali! I yelled but she ignored me and pushed him deeper.

She couldn’t kill him. She could maim the fuck out of him but she couldn’t kill him. He had never been written in the stars to die one day. He might not have had seventy-five percent approval from all gods or any of the handy-dandy paperwork Jackson had, but he was a first. Complete and utter immortality.

The benefits of not having combined your power with others allowed you to skirt all those silly little laws.

Kali, let him go! I ordered.

She dropped him. He crumbled to her feet. She turned on me, fury scorning her eyes. You’re leaving.

What? I wrestled my way out of Jackson’s hold. No way! We were talking.

Jackson snagged my wrist. "Someone else can talk to this pathetic loser, you’re coming home with us now."

Ranj’s shoulders drew up to his ears. "He’s not a pathetic loser, I argued. He’s just a person with no control over his situation. Like everyone else trapped here."

Irrelevant, Kali snapped.

"How?"

Alex. Ranj's voice rang out, the silence following my name immediate. Kali's eyes flared. Jackson's grip tightened. I- I'm tired. His shoulders drew in tighter. Please.

"You have no right, Jackson snarled, to ask him anything, you spineless amoeba."

Jackson, shut up, I huffed. Ranj, rest. I'll get someone to bring Akula over later.

His voice was so quiet. It was nothing like I remembered in my dreams. Thank you.

We left, the two of them crowding around me like a security team. He was actually being helpful.

He’s a bastard who’ll say anything to get what he wants, Jackson snapped, pushing open the door out of the building.

I rolled my eyes. I thought he was a sweetheart who loved you and was willing to wait for your readiness.

Jackson went stiff.

We never really talked about it. His death.

I didn’t like thinking about it. The blade pushing through his skin, the sound he made. His voice, his face, everything. It made me sick, it gave me bad thoughts, gave me bad dreams and made me wake up screaming into my pillow for a solid three weeks after the ordeal, crying and calling out for him, hands reaching out into the cold air.

Every time he touched back, relief hit me. Then fear. Always fear.

What if it wasn't real?

Since we never talked about his death, we never really talked about Ranj. I knew that they both hated him for what happened. And I knew if he ever came, they would fight every bit of him being allowed to stay because of what happened.

But the problem with never talking about him, meant I didn’t fully know where they stood on the matter. For Kali, he was her son. The first demigod she ever really wanted to have and then when she found out her brave, powerful child, the one she selected all on her own, who bounded off to do great things and was sweet and compassionate and excellent, was accidentally doubly blessed[15] and made to be a god, she was thrilled.

And she was thrilled when he found Jackson.

And for Jackson, he was his boyfriend, his first real godly friend. He was someone that Jackson loved.

He was someone they both loved. And neither of them loved easily. It was difficult. Kali was made for rage and death and victory. Shiva was her one true love. Her ability to love easily and kindly was split among her others[16] and when they all separated, became their own entities, their own people, that ability vanished, leaving her with difficulty and discomfort.

Love was not something that came easy to her, not something she understood too well, but when she did love, she loved fiercely.

Jackson was all too similar. He loved his parents and that was that. He had very few friends, and even fewer that he felt close enough to love strongly. It took him years upon decades before he admitted to loving Kali.

Ranj was his first real crush, his first godly friend, his first boyfriend, the first person that made him want to be in the Heavens, instead of rejecting godhood and returning to life as a mortal. He loved him so strongly he couldn't even confess to the fact that he hadn't died the first time they fought, when Ranj confessed his true intentions and disappeared from the godly world completely.

As we exited the building, I stopped a few yards away, the door to the school in evident view.

It's okay to love him, I said quietly. Feelings are complex. He was someone important to you and-

"Was. Jackson swung on me immediately. He was important to me. Past tense. No longer relevant." He jabbed his finger at me. "And I don’t ever want to talk about what he was to me, he said. He murdered me, Al. Without a fucking second thought or ounce of hesitation. He didn’t stick around. He didn’t apologize. He didn’t mourn. He killed me and then went off to be a bastard, even after I let him roam free and kept his fucking secret like an idiot because he promised he wouldn't hurt me any further if I just let him leave. He stepped back, stiff, pissed, angry. Love is stupid and I hate him and I should've turned him in the first time we fought. I hope he rots for what he did, not just to me but to you."

Jack-

No! He stormed off, rushing through the grass to the door ahead of us.

Tentative and nervous, I squeezed my wrist. And you? I asked, glancing up to Kali.

He is my son. You're right, she said stiffly. My feelings are difficult. I am angry he did not think I would protect him from harm. I am angry he hurt you. I am angry he hurt Jackson-

I crossed my arms but bit out the lie. He didn’t hurt me.

You had nightmares for several weeks, Kali shot back immediately, no hesitation. Her words cut into me like a shard of glass. "You could barely hold a plastic knife in his presence for a near month and a half without shaking, she went on, her voice steel. He was my son and I loved him deeply but Jackson is right. Love is stupid. She slung an arm around my shoulders. And I hate him."

I shrugged her arm off and refused to follow her. She