The Weakness In Me

By Jacqueline Pouliot

A steamy, erotic tale of intrigue and lesbian love. This is more explicit that Jackie’s other books so stay away if erotic games between two women shock you. There are erotic moments of domination and submission but there is also love.

Jennifer is an up and coming lawyer in a misogynistic legal firm where her boyfriend also works. To any bystander, Jennifer’s life was perfect except she had nagging doubts about her relationships and a secret she could not reveal to anyone.

Then, a strange erotic BDSM episode destroys her life! Jennifer has to rebuild life and herself, growing significantly in the process and understanding exactly who she was!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 24, 2015
• ISBN: 9781326285807

Book preview

The Weakness In Me

THE WEAKNESS IN ME

Jacqueline Pouliot

EPUB Edition

Copyright © 2015 Lulu Press

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-326-28580-7

Why do you come here

When you know I've got troubles enough

Why do you call me

When you know I can't answer the phone

Make me lie

When I don't want to

And make someone else

Some kind of an unknowing fool

You make me stay

When I should not

Are you so strong

Or is all the weakness in me

(Written and performed by Joan Armatrading)

One

The only reason I remained with Blake, Lawson and Calder was the money and, of course, the prestige of working for a law firm that everyone in the London legal community recognised and respected as winners.

It also helped that Jeremy worked for the same firm but in a different field than mine.

Exactly what was my relationship with Jeremy?

I was wondering more and more about that as the days passed. I knew when he kissed me hello he had not missed me! When he held me, I knew he did not know me really and did not seem that interested to discover the real me!

Still, I persevered with the relationship. Luckily, we were both busy and being with Jeremy gave me an aura of respectability.

We lived together but we only talked about the firm and legal cases, the sex was almost perfunctory and there was absolutely zero romance!

The firm seemed to be the only thing we had in common! We even practised in different areas with Jeremy in corporation law while I found myself in criminal law.

I don’t know why I focused on criminal law but the senior partners were pleased with my results. Of course, the only results the partners were really interested were the billable hours I brought in.

‘Jonathan has been looking for you, Jennifer,’ Lexie, my assistant said as soon as I walked into my office.

‘Really? It’s a little early, isn’t it?’

‘He seemed excited. Told me to ask you to go upstairs the moment you came in.’

‘Okay. I guess I won’t be able to drink my tea.’

‘It’ll keep. Is Jeremy still in Brussels?’

‘He’ll be back at the end of the week.’

I checked my hair and face in my compact before turning for the door.

‘Good luck,’ Lexie called.

Jonathan’s secretaries (he had two) were almost identical.  They were blonde, big in the chest and smiled too much to be genuine. Jonathan also insisted in formality in staff interaction, a rule that Lexie and I cautiously ignored in my office.

‘Good morning, Ms Sanders. You can go in.’

I nodded, tapped on the oak panelled door and stepped inside Jonathan’s extremely large office.

‘Ah, Jennifer. I have some great news.’

I waited to see if he would ask me to sit down. It was a vain hope and typical of Jonathan to keep his staff standing while he sat.

‘Have you heard of Grant Bassingthwaite?’

‘The businessman who was arrested for rape?’

‘That’s the one. Apparently, he has sacked his legal team and has asked Blake, Lawson and Calder to take over.’

I nodded. ‘I suppose that’s good news…’ I murmured and Jonathan frowned.

‘Good news? It’s fucking great news! This will be a long case and Bassingthwaite has a lot of money to throw at it. He wants to prove his innocence.’

‘Is he innocent?’ I asked quietly.

‘Who knows and who cares! You will be lead on this, Jennifer.’

‘Me?’ I said surprised. ‘I’m a junior barrister. I don’t have the experience to handle…’

‘Tom MacManus will be there.’

‘Tom? Well, if that’s the case, he should be lead…’

‘In reality he will be the lead but as far as the media is concerned, you are the lead!’

‘Oh, I see. It looks better to have a woman defending Bassingthwaite?’ I said a little bitterly.

Jonathan beamed happily. ‘Of course it does. A little window dressing always helps a case. The team is assembling in conference room four. Tom is going through the strategy now.’

‘Great,’ I murmured and walked quickly out of the office.

Inwardly, I was seething but outwardly, I appeared (I hoped) to be placid and calm.

The overt misogyny was another reason why I secretly hated Blake, Lawson and Calder!

2.

Tom introduced me to the paralegals and interns on the team and then, taking my elbow, moved me to a corner so we could talk quietly.

‘Jonathan spoke to you?’

‘Yes,’ I said bitterly. ‘I am the window dressing! You run the defence!’

‘You’re not window dressing, Jennifer,’ Tom said firmly. ‘You are very good and have a promising future but…’

‘…I don’t have the experience! I know that, Tom. I just don’t like being in this situation!’

‘I understand but let’s make the best of it, shall we?’

3.

The day did not become any better as Jonathan called a media conference to announce the team that would be working on the defence of Grant Bassingthwaite. I hated having to stand there and smile while Jonathan prattled on. Thankfully, I didn’t have to speak and managed to sidestep a few journalists who wanted a comment.

The second day of the defence preparation was awful and slightly humiliating but I put up with it.

I called Jeremy in Brussels, of course, and complained bitterly but, as usual, he took Jonathan’s side. Jeremy thought I should do my best for the good of the firm.

There was no doubt that comment annoyed me even more than being window dressing!

That night, I wearily rode the elevator up to the apartment Jeremy and I shared.

It did not feel like a home and was quite sterile.

‘Just like our relationship,’ I murmured as I walked to the front door of the apartment.

Unlocking the door, I stepped inside the dim apartment and closed the door behind me.

It was at that moment, I sensed there was someone else in the apartment!

Herat pounding, I peered into the living room, praying I would see Jeremy sprawled on the sofa but the room was empty.

‘Is anyone there?’ I called nervously.

Suddenly, I smelled perfume and, as I whirled around I was seized in strange embrace and strange smelling cloth was pressed over my mouth and nose.

I’m going to die! Or be raped! Maybe both!

They were my last thoughts as I slipped into darkness.

4.

At first, when I flickered to the surface, I thought I was blind! My hands tried to move to my eyes but were held by something tight around each wrist!

The panic subsided when I felt the blindfold covering my eyes, cloth with a hint of exotic perfume, the same perfume I smelled when I first walked into my apartment.

A light breeze tickled over my body told me I was naked and laying on a bed, a realisation that made the panic revisit me.

I pulled against the bonds but froze when light fingers stroked my cheek.

‘Shh. Relax, my pretty princess. You will enjoy this!’

The voice belonged to a woman and was soft and husky, almost throaty.

I felt her face close to mine and I whispered, ‘Please…don’t hurt…me…’

‘I won’t hurt you. How could I?’ she said softly, fingers stroking my hair. ‘Relax.’

I tried to lower my heart rate and I felt a strange comfort that my captor was a woman.

Her fingers stroked my cheeks, hair and then my throat, lingering for a few seconds on my ear lobes.

I twisted my head to try to avoid her touch but she just gently held my chin and resumed her caresses across my face.

Suddenly, I felt her lips against my cheeks, one after the other. Soft, light kisses that contrasted with the tightness of the bonds around my wrists.

I found myself wondering if she had tied me with my own collection of Hermès scarves!

Her lips settled on mine. Vainly, I tried to turn my head to escape her enveloping kiss but could not.

Her lips withdrew and she whispered, ‘You taste like a peach! A soft white peach!’

‘Who are you? What