A Devil Innermost

By Tony Barrientez

A teenage boy needs an answer to his darkest secret and will give anything to find it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 28, 2011
• ISBN: 9781105560712

Book preview

A Devil Innermost

Title

A Devil Innermost

Published by

Lulu Enterprises, Inc.

Raleigh, NC

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright

All rights reserved.

©2012 by Tony Barrientez

Cover design by Desiree Aleman

Coloring and texture by Ashley Totka

Printed in the United States of America

ani lo sholal

Dedication

for my mother

for Ashley

for my father

in loving memory of Noel Cordova

Chapter 1

It was summer once, I may have believed in something then. I'm not really sure how to look at myself anymore. Gracious maybe? Graciously untainted by everything that my short life had led me to so far. Something else I pondered, it was winter once too. Strange, I hadn't noticed that yesterday. Well, I guess my mind has a tendency to get away from me at times.

One more thing crossed my mind, what about autumn? Yeah, what about autumn? Jesus, I almost forgot about autumn. Some say autumn is depressing because everything is dying, but not me, no, not me. I love it, it's the acknowledgment that everything must come to an end, but then it is reborn again. Isn't that beautiful? Every year, the Earth has its own Adam and Eve story. I stand outside and watch things die, only to wait and see them reborn. Wow. Rebirth… I wish.

My name is Grant Hemis and I am 16 years old. I was born and raised in Framingham, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston. My family is pretty typical. My mother, Jessica, stays at home and takes care of my little brother Matthew. I also have an older sister named Kelly. We don't talk much, like I said, horribly typical. My father, Gary, is a fat cat at his car dealership. He makes a lot of money but I have to look at pictures to remind myself of what he looks like sometimes. My mother is a pushover, rarely stands up for herself, always gives in. My sister takes advantage of my father's deep pockets and my mother's weak spirit. Some people wonder why I complain. It seems that I could have everything I want. I am positive that for my seventeenth birthday, I will get a brand new BMW. Jesus, I've seen so many of those in my drive way I could puke. But again, I say this and people just look at me as if I'm crazy. I get that look a lot at school. Mostly because of how I think, not because of how I dress or anything. I don't wear my fucking underwear on my head to make some lame ass stand. I just think a little different from most.  It's funny how that seems to work for me. I always thought that if I had a strong sense of who I was, maybe it would help me out but it didn't. It's weird how kids my age always seem to have this need to outcast people. Sometimes I feel like I'm in the fucking jungle at school. I feel like there's a caste system that we have to fall into some part of. I know that people always fear what they don't know and I guess that might be what it is with me. I don't give away too much. I try to keep my distance, it's just the way I am. With how difficult life can be, you try to keep things simple.

Ok, so maybe I'll start from here.

I'm lying in my bed, most likely sweating and my poor mother has been up for hours and she comes into my doorway to get me up for school. Honey, it's almost 7, it's time to get up. She's sweet. I turn over, slowly, to let her know she can move on to her next activity for my ungrateful family. Bitter? A little. Anyway, I'm lying here completely drained of both energy and spirit. It feels like only seconds but here she comes, back into the doorway.

Come on now, get up.

All right Ma, I'm up.

I say this as convincingly as possible. I'm not ready to get up but it's another day. Another trip to the death camp of individuality.

You see in my room, I have everything. Really. I have a computer, a laptop, a TV, and my own personal library. I have books on philosophy, I have books on mythology and my favorite is Sigmund Freud. They keep me the most company when I can't seem to fall asleep. Anyway, I start to get out of bed and walk over to the bathroom in my room. I told you, we're rich. I brush my teeth, wash my face and put on my clothes and get ready for a new day. I hate going to school though. I mean, I really hate it. I always wish that I'd get up in the morning and they'd tell me that the school had burned down. That would be a beautiful day. I mean it.

I walk down the stairs and my brother Matt is eating oatmeal at the table. He's eating apple cinnamon. That's the only kind that he'll eat. I'm not sure why. I guess we all have weird little things that we do. While my brother eats, my mother runs around the kitchen like an idiot. I hate saying it like that, I do, but what other way should I say it?

I don't wanna eat it all! my brother screams at my ma. Sometimes that kid is a fucking brat.

Hey ma, did you sign that note from class I gave you? I wanted to know because she had forgotten yesterday.

No Grant, I keep forgetting. I'm sorry; I'll write on there that I forgot, ok? She looked preoccupied anyway. I should have said something last night.

It's ok; I don't think he'll even ask. I was lying but she didn't need to know that.

Just then, I hear a car horn from outside. Kelly's ready, you better go. I hate how she says it like she's afraid of her. What kind of parent is afraid of their own kid?

Ok, bye. Love you mom. She smiled at me and I got the fuck out of there.

I walk through the foyer and there's Kelly in her Cadillac. She's daddy's little girl, so he showers her with shit she doesn't need all the time. They have a beautiful relationship. They really do. I have never gotten along with my dad or my sister for that matter. I really don't like my sister. Is that normal? I mean, I've heard of family going at it but genuinely not liking each other? I don't know. I mean, I don't hate her or him. But I definitely don't like either of them, but they love each other. He's a dick and she's a cunt. So maybe that's why.  I sit down in the front seat of the car and before my ass can hit the seat she says, you're late.

Whatever. I put my headphones in and blow it off. Like I don't have enough shit to deal with in a day. That's another thing I never understood. Why does she like to get there so early?

She doesn't get good grades, she's a fucking dim-wit. She only has a handful of friends that, like her, have shit attitudes that no one else can put up with. And she's never had a boyfriend. So what the fuck? I'm a little lost on that one.

We pull up to the light and we're right in front of my dad's dealership. Kelly honks and my dad waves nonchalant. Probably because if someone's watching, he doesn't want them to think he has too much of a heart and then they'll fuck him on a sale. I hate salesmen. I shoot him back a wave but I make it look like it's hurting me to do it. I can be a dick too, so I guess it runs in the family. We start to pull out and Kelly turns to me.

You always treat dad like shit. Fuck, not now.

What are you talking about? I know exactly what she's talking about.

You always act like you can't stand him or something. He's always so good to you. Being a salesman runs in the blood too. Because that's a sack of shit if I've ever heard it.

We start to drive away from the light towards the school and now there's the silence. That silence. The kind of silence that is only caused by two people, that if they were to speak, only hateful, evil things would come out. So we stay quiet. We start to pull up to the school parking lot and she parks. I see a bunch