Things They Should Tell You About Parenthood But Don't : Pregnancy to the Toddler Years

By M. Nottage

This book is designed to help new parents with problems that they may encounter that no one else has warned them about. It gives a realistic view about the problems and possible solutions in a concise and easy to find format. Touching on pregnancy to the toddler years it covers major topics, including feeding issues, temper tantrums, postpartum depression and how to reconnect with your partner.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Mar 23, 2014
• ISBN: 9781304962423

Book preview

Things They Should Tell You About Parenthood But Don't : Pregnancy to the Toddler Years

Things They Should Tell You About Parenthood but Don’t: Pregnancy To The Toddler Years

M.  Nottage

Copyright 2012 M. Nottage. All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-1-304-96242-3

Table of Contents

Introduction

Getting Prepared

Choosing a Health Care Professional

Doctors

Midwives

Doulas

Birth Locations

Hospital Births

What to Pack

Home Births

The Nursery

Cribs

CPR

Pregnancy

Eating

Foods to Avoid

Folic Acid

Morning Sickness

Possible Solutions

Back Pain

Suggestions to relieve Back Pain

Suggestions to Avoid Back Pain

Bellybutton

Bleeding Gums

Minimize the likelihood of these problems

Constipation

Flatulence

Frequent Urination

Hair and Nail Growth

Headaches

Some suggestions for relief

Heartburn

Hemorrhoids

Incontinence

How do you perform Kegel exercises?

Linea Nigra

Linea Alba

Miscarriage

Why does it occur?

What are the warning signs?

Are there ways to prevent a miscarriage?

Nutrition & Supplements

What happens after a miscarriage?

Books for Coping with a Miscarriage

What about the friends & family of someone grieving a miscarriage?

What if you are visiting someone who has just had a miscarriage?

What are the things you should do?

What if there are other children in the family?

Mommy Memory

Music

Stillbirth

What happens when death occurs before labour and delivery?

What are the causes of stillbirth?

What are the risk factors?

Are there ways to prevent a stillbirth?

How do you help a loved one cope with having a stillbirth?

Books on coping with a stillbirth

Stress

Stretch Marks

Swollen Feet

Cord Blood Banking

Labour & Delivery

Episiotomy

Perineal Massage

Pain Relief Options

Induced Labour

Why is labour induced?

How is labour induced?

Natural Ways of Inducing Labour

Internal (Vaginal) Exams

C-Sections (Caesarean Sections)

The After-Birth

Making Labour & Delivery easier on you

Recovery

Vaginal Bleeding (Lochia)

Stitches

Menstruation after Pregnancy

Breastfeeding Moms

Exclusively formula feeding Moms

Changes to your Menstrual Cycle

Ask for Help

Eating & Food

Breastfeeding Mothers

Exercise

Take time for yourself

It may take some time to lose the ‘baby weight’

Baby Blues, Post-partum Depression & Post-partum Psychosis

Baby Blues

Symptoms

Post-partum Depression

Symptoms

Suggestions

Post-partum Psychosis

Symptoms

Suggestions

Schedules

Sleep is a luxury

When to call a doctor?

The Importance of Your Partner

Sex after your baby’s arrival

Suggestions

What if my partner only sees me as a mother?

The First Year

Your Partner

Fostering and Encouraging Help

Jealousy/Neglect

What you as the primary caregiver should keep in mind

What should your partner keep in mind

What should both partners keep in mind

Schedules

Sleep

Sleep is a luxury, treat it that way

Sleep requires training?

Sleep position shifts

Sleep monitoring

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)

What are the causes?

Methods of Prevention

Coping after a loss due to SIDS

Feeding

Breastfeeding

Latching

Unlatching

Low milk production

What to Eat

Breastfeeding Issues

Engorgement

Leaky Breasts

Storing Breast Milk

Prescriptions

Bottle Feeding

Formula Use

Advantages

Breastfeeding mothers and bottle feedings

Introducing Solid Foods

When to wean

Training cups

When to introduce solid foods

Disliking some foods

Spitting Up

Allergic Reactions

Intolerance

Picky Eaters

Refusal to Eat

Refusal to eat vegetables and/or fruit

Refusal to eat meat

Refusal to drink milk

It will be messy

Hiccups

Crying in Restaurants

Bowel Movements

Constipation

Diarrhea

Colic

Possible Solutions

Bottle Feeding Babies with Colic

Bath Time

Ailments & Illnesses

Cold & Flu

Cradle Cap

Diaper Rash

Discolouration

Dressing your baby

Ear Infections

Touching (the spreading of germs)

Teething

Signs of teething

Solutions for relief

Vaccinations

Giving Medications

Administering Ear Drops

Preparing to administer the drops

How to administer the drops

Administering Eye Drops

Method 1

Method 2

Method 3

Administering nasal (nose) drops

Mobility

Safety

Sitting Up

Creeping/Crawling

Standing

Walking

Learning

Reading

Repetition is essential

Be mindful of what you say and do

Temper Tantrums

How can you reinforce behavior?

Fostering Independence

Fostering Patience

Separation Anxiety

Suggestions

Child Care

Daycares

Nannies

The Toddler Years

Potty Training

Signs of Potty Readiness

What can you as a parent do to help?

What should you know before you begin potty training?

What are the steps in potty training?

Sleep

Refusal to Eat

Saying ‘No’

Thumb Sucking

Preschool Preparedness

What can you do to prepare your child to go to school?

How do you prepare yourself for your child starting school?

Things to Keep In Mind

Appendix A:  Home Item Checklist

Appendix B:  Diaper Bag Essentials

Appendix C:  Medicine Cabinet Checklist

Appendix D: Some Sites with Free Baby Product Giveaways

References

Introduction

The reason that I chose to write this book was, as a first time mother I encountered many things for which I was not prepared.  As a result I wanted to enlighten others before they began this journey into parenthood. 

The truth is that parenthood, at times, can be extremely hard work.  The best thing that you can do is to be as well prepared as possible. 

Your baby’s life and development will consist of many stages.  Each comes with its own joys and challenges.  As your baby grows so will you in your role as a parent and it will change over time.  The purpose of this book is to let you know that you are not alone in the challenges that you face and there are solutions so try not to feel overwhelmed.  Parenting involves a lot of on the job training and requires a great degree of patience.  Once you withstand the rougher times the joys of parenting will vastly outweigh any negatives or challenges that you (may) encounter.  With proper training (e.g. sleep training), disciplinary techniques and by starting these early, the types and frequency of the challenges should be minimal.

While I will not touch on every single topic and only cover up to and including the toddler years I have endeavoured to discuss all of the major ones.  I wanted to ensure that these issues and their possible solutions were all in one place and in a concise and easy to find format. 

The suggestions given come from various sources and trial and error.  Any suggestions given in this book should be taken under the advice of your medical professional. Any products mentioned are mere suggestions and are not a personal endorsement.

My hope is that through this book you will learn:

1.   To be patient with both your baby and yourself

2.   Practice makes perfect

3.   Having time to yourself ultimately makes you a better parent

4.   Being prepared gives you an upper hand

5.   You may need to redefine the current roles between you and your partner so that you can be both lovers and co-parents

If you are able to do all or only one of these and it helps you to better enjoy your parenthood then the purpose of this book has been fulfilled. 

I wish you and your baby well on your life long journey together.  God bless.

Note:  When I use the term secondary parent in this book it is simply to indicate the parent who is not giving the majority of the baby care during maternity leave.  It is not meant to offend in any way and is simply used as a shorthand term.

Getting Prepared

Choosing a Health Care Professional

This is a very important choice that you will make regarding the prenatal care and delivery of your baby.  There are several types of health care professionals that you can choose from.  The most popular choice is a doctor.  However, there are also midwives (which used to be the only choice, especially in rural areas) and doulas.

No matter which type of professional you choose, research the professional whom you are considering.  You should always remember that while they are professionals you are still paying them for a service and are entitled to know whether or not they are qualified and their standard practices.  This will help you to determine whether or not they are right for you.

Doctors

All doctors must absolutely have a license in order to practise.  You can check with your respective Medical Association to see if they are licensed and whether or not there are any disciplinary actions pending against them.  Doctors have hospital resources available to them and can prescribe medications if necessary.  If you have a specialist (like an Obstetrician) they received additional training to deal with any complications that may come with a pregnancy.

Midwives

In Canada, midwives have to be licensed in order to go into practise and must have a tertiary level of education (i.e. go to university). To find out if the midwife you are considering is indeed licensed check with the Canadian Midwives Organisation[i] (www.canadianmidwives.org ) and select your province or territory to search for them.   In Canada, midwives have an association with a particular hospital and all the privileges that allows.  In other words they can admit patients and have the hospital resources at their disposal.

In the United States, however, not all states require midwives to be licensed.  You will need to check to see whether or not it is required in your state.  The website http://narm.org/state-organizations/state-info/[ii] may help you and has links to each respective state’s midwife association (if applicable).   If you live in a state whereby licensing is not required, midwives there may not have gone to school to become a midwife nor have any certification. 

Even for midwives that are licensed or certified you should know that a midwife may still recommend or refer you to a medical doctor if you have any issues and/or complications that may require medical equipment and/or a specialist.  These may include but are not limited to preeclampsia (hypertension due to pregnancy) and gestational diabetes.

Midwives may have an office, operate out of their home or meet with you at your home for appointments.

You should note that you have either a doctor or a midwife not both.

Doulas

Doulas provide support to the mother and her partner during childbirth (birth doulas) and/or after birth (postpartum doulas).  They can be certified by Doulas of North America (DONA) International but do not necessarily have to be.  They do not provide any herbal or pharmaceutical solutions for pain and act as an ‘assistant’ (for lack of a better term) during labour and delivery to ensure that the mother has the emotional support that she needs.  Many women find the support they provide very helpful.  Doulas act in conjunction with a medical professional.  To find a doula in North America go to the website for the Doulas of North America (www.dona.org).[iii]

Birth Locations

Just as